Well I'll have to say I can't speak for all women, but this is what I would find very attractive in a man..................for starters the most important would have to be honesty.
He would have to have a passion for life.
Loves to be intimate and doesn't restrict romance to the bedroom only.
Can open up and not be afraid to share his heart and his true feelings.
Having a good sense of humor is a must!
Likes to play and sometimes be silly.
Romantic as in simple gestures.
Someone who looks after their health and smells good, you just want to snuggle into their neck and breathe them in.
Someeone you can flirt with and tease.
A good listener and enjoys having some in depth conversations
Loves the outdoors, down to earth
Enjoys being with the person he's with, doesn't much so matter what they are doing
Here are sme of my thoughts, they are probaly based more on the emotional but a balanced side. I tend to think that, for me, I look for good looks, cause I feel the flesh serves it side of life and the physical pleasing, but I tend to focus on giving side. I like when my friend or partner can meet me in a place where they are connected and life is a melting pot together. Where one can reside and know in thier depths, that this is a trusting situation, that when situations in life come up they can be meet them together. I like that old description of "Man of Steel and Velvet," It lends itself to both sides of emotional awareness and firmness, which is attractive to me..
Ive only known one Trekie type, and was not attracted. He seemed to industrial for me..:)
I know this link will seem stringent to many, but I think it lends alot to think about.
Well ,this is my take on it. Women are like their purse, A mystery. What is on the inside. Today I put my jeans and leather shoes on to go out and weedeat (whippersnipper) and mow the yard. On my way out my wife said I looked sexy. What the freak. I think it is always important to be there when they need you but give them space as I know us men need space. All I am saying is always listen to the woman but do not ever try to fix what they are experiencing, ( just listen). Us men often try to fix things, women just feel very content on us men listening. I heard this from my 9th corps sister Betty. If I could say just listen. Period !
Do men outnumber women at Star Trek conventions? If they do, that might be Tom's problem. Way too much competition. Why stay committed to Tom, when she can date Joe and Bob, too.
Has he tried an online dating service? The people on those sites let you know if they are looking for commitment, or just someone to date.
I would tell Tom to be himself. If he tried to change to attract someone, the woman he would attract wouldn't be the one he wanted.
I love to laugh and any man who can make me laugh is a winner in my book. BUT, not all of us have the same sense of humor, so his funny bone would need to be somewhat warped. And, of course, he’d need to think I’m funny, too.
I don’t trust people who don’t smile and will NOT date someone who doesn’t genuinely smile or laugh much. I don’t buy that ‘still waters run deep’ crap – if I’m always worried that you’re not happy then I’m not going to be happy.
He needs to be a gentleman and respectful to everyone, even the janitor. He should be able to banter and joke around with just folks from every walk of life. He should be color blind and class blind.
He should be self-confident enough to allow me to do my ‘own thing’, including nights out with ‘the girls’. He should have his own interests and hobbies that he loves, but not necessarily expect me to be involved with him in those hobbies all the time and vice versa. (e.g. I love training Vixen and competing with her. I expect him to support and encourage me. I expect him to get as excited as I do about a new AKC title, but I don’t expect, or necessarily want, him to come to all the competitions.)
Since I’m still on my own little spiritual journey, I expect him to respect that and would like for him to have his own ‘spirituality’. We don’t have to believe or practice the same things, but should be able to live harmoniously together and respect each others’ beliefs.
He will definitely need to tolerate the fact that I’m no FlyLady and my house would never pass a white glove test (or have enough money to pay for a maid :D ). He must, absolutely, non-negotiably get along with my family and, as a bonus, think they are as awesome as I do. Hopefully he feels the same way about his family. I’m wary of men who have (or have had) terrible relationships with their parents.
If he loves NASCAR, SEC sports, fried okra, good bbq and dipping his hamburger in ketchup those would be HUGE bonuses. If he wanted to whisk me away to the “real south” and save me from all these snowbirds and rude northerners in Florida, he might never get rid of me. Ditto if he wants to have kids and/or has youngsters of his own.
Looks have never been important to me. A genuine smile with kind eyes and a healthy self-esteem makes any man handsome in my book. In fact, my friends laugh cause I think John Goodman and Jim Belushi are da bomb!
I think we all really just want someone who loves us exactly as we are and is our biggest cheerleader. Someone we can totally be ourselves around without having to put up walls or wear a mask around. Someone who makes us feel better about ourselves and life in general when we’re together. What that requires is going to be different for every person.
(this could be trouble because it's a serious (mostly) answer from me)
It doesn't matter... Eagle, tell your friend it doesn't matter... and here's why:
1. He just needs to be himself. Period. If he's trying to be what someone else wants him to be that will only work for a while (see number 2) and he'll end up being miserable because he's "not allowed to be himself" (and it's even worse because he's the one not allowing it)
2. Trying to find out what women want and then being that is a losing proposition. Because as soon as they (the women) figure out that's what you're doing... they'll change it! (they're sneaky that way)
He just needs to be himself, genuinely... while being AWARE of the women he comes in contact with and not limiting his 'options' to some pre-conceived idea he might have... and then she'll be there, seemingly out of the blue... I'll bet he's already missed lots of women who would've been perfect for him because he limited himself and didn't even notice the way someone looked at him or treated him...
And as for some (I said 'some') of the posts above: It sounds like you women are describing the guys in the books/movies by that "message in a bottle" writer guy... and I'll wager the dinner of your choice that you've all passed up guys with great hearts, smiles, senses of humor, etc because there are lots of them out there... and they're lonely and hurting because they're everything that women describe that they want but just can't see...
Too true, Strange one. I can tell you right off the bat three awesome guys I missed out on, but they were rejected because the kool-aid prevented me from seeing past their lack of interest in TWI. :(
I almost always will give a guy at least one chance to get to know him better. It's why I like going to the local oyster bar for our first date. It's extremely casual, quiet enough to talk and very difficult to be pretentious or fake in that kind of setting. It also gives me a chance to see how they treat the oyster shucker since he/she is right there with us for part of the evening. Besides that, I just like raw oysters.
I love this stuff, hearing what women claim they're looking for in a guy. Uh huh.
"I want a guy who likes long romantic stolls on the beach at midnight, pillow fights, and snuggling up by the fire and eating 'Frangos'. Oh, and he has to have clean fingernails too!"
In reality, the guy she really goes for doesn't necessarily meet any of those criteria, if my experience is normative.
I tend to be a little more pragmatic these days in my expectations, like "Does she weigh less than my truck?" and (equally important) "Does she have a pulse?"...
George , I have to disagree with you, I have met a few men who have fit that criteria, they absolutely swept me off my feet and it was absolutely wonderful !! And yes I have crashed and burned but I have absolutely no regrets.
Okay George - the honest to gawd truth? I want someone who will let me fart, burp & drink beer with him while we root for our respective NASCAR favorites instead of cleaning the house or doing anything otherwise productive.
Okay George - the honest to gawd truth? I want someone who will let me fart, burp & drink beer with him while we root for our respective NASCAR favorites instead of cleaning the house or doing anything otherwise productive.
Ok so you want to get REAL HONEST?! He has to have a p*nis. (LOL)
I'll put up with a lot in a guy if he's honest. And contrary to popular opinion, I do mean honest. I once found out that my husband knew that something didnt' look good on me and didn't say so. That bothered me a lot.
I think most women want a good balance of someone they can be natural with (along with the guy being himself as well) as well as a man that allows a few fantasies to push through to the surface every now and again. (Yes there are guys that do that.) Why do good men and women get passed up? Who knows? Answer that and I bet Jesus will let you sit at the right hand of God for a couple of hours.
Yes. both parties need to be themselves and feel at ease being natural. Each of us has different things that make us feel at ease and natural. I think that's what many of the women are describing here.
Looks fade and change. Character counts for a lot. I really never look at looks - never have. Give me a guy that is comfortable in his own skin and lets me be comfortable in my skin, add some chemisty, and then see what happens.
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
5
5
12
6
Popular Days
Jan 5
34
Sep 10
18
Sep 9
7
Sep 13
6
Top Posters In This Topic
excathedra 5 posts
Belle 5 posts
Ham 12 posts
doojable 6 posts
Popular Days
Jan 5 2007
34 posts
Sep 10 2007
18 posts
Sep 9 2007
7 posts
Sep 13 2007
6 posts
Cowgirl
Well I'll have to say I can't speak for all women, but this is what I would find very attractive in a man..................for starters the most important would have to be honesty.
He would have to have a passion for life.
Loves to be intimate and doesn't restrict romance to the bedroom only.
Can open up and not be afraid to share his heart and his true feelings.
Having a good sense of humor is a must!
Likes to play and sometimes be silly.
Romantic as in simple gestures.
Someone who looks after their health and smells good, you just want to snuggle into their neck and breathe them in.
Someeone you can flirt with and tease.
A good listener and enjoys having some in depth conversations
Loves the outdoors, down to earth
Enjoys being with the person he's with, doesn't much so matter what they are doing
A sense of adventure
Nice strong hands and forearms
Cowgirl
Link to comment
Share on other sites
doojable
I agree with everything Cowgirl said. Annnnddddd....
HE HAS TO BE A GOOD KISSER! I can tell a lot about a guy by the way he kisses.
Ok, now I have to be nice again......maybe
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bowtwi
I agree with every word you both said. Yes, kissing makes or breaks the whole deal, in my experience.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kit Sober
A note on men's legs.
It must be a big joke of the Lord, but men's legs do not age like women's.
Women get varicose veins and dimply flab and ugly knees. . . . but not men.
This summer I saw this guy who had to be in his 90's and he had legs that looked really good.
My girlfriend at work and I were laughing about this very thing just the other day (watching this guy go by with great looking legs).
It's not a twinkle-in-the-eye-voyeur kind of thing, but just amazement at the twinkle in the eye of the Lord who plans things.
(Fred still has great legs. I don't.)
Edited by Kit SoberLink to comment
Share on other sites
likeaneagle
Here are sme of my thoughts, they are probaly based more on the emotional but a balanced side. I tend to think that, for me, I look for good looks, cause I feel the flesh serves it side of life and the physical pleasing, but I tend to focus on giving side. I like when my friend or partner can meet me in a place where they are connected and life is a melting pot together. Where one can reside and know in thier depths, that this is a trusting situation, that when situations in life come up they can be meet them together. I like that old description of "Man of Steel and Velvet," It lends itself to both sides of emotional awareness and firmness, which is attractive to me..
Ive only known one Trekie type, and was not attracted. He seemed to industrial for me..:)
I know this link will seem stringent to many, but I think it lends alot to think about.
http://www.marriagetoday.org/site/PageServ...tv_watch_online
Edited by likeaneagleLink to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
pointy ears are a must
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
Well ,this is my take on it. Women are like their purse, A mystery. What is on the inside. Today I put my jeans and leather shoes on to go out and weedeat (whippersnipper) and mow the yard. On my way out my wife said I looked sexy. What the freak. I think it is always important to be there when they need you but give them space as I know us men need space. All I am saying is always listen to the woman but do not ever try to fix what they are experiencing, ( just listen). Us men often try to fix things, women just feel very content on us men listening. I heard this from my 9th corps sister Betty. If I could say just listen. Period !
Link to comment
Share on other sites
likeaneagle
ive seen that im listening but not attending look!!!! haha!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
VeganXTC
Do men outnumber women at Star Trek conventions? If they do, that might be Tom's problem. Way too much competition. Why stay committed to Tom, when she can date Joe and Bob, too.
Has he tried an online dating service? The people on those sites let you know if they are looking for commitment, or just someone to date.
I would tell Tom to be himself. If he tried to change to attract someone, the woman he would attract wouldn't be the one he wanted.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
I love to laugh and any man who can make me laugh is a winner in my book. BUT, not all of us have the same sense of humor, so his funny bone would need to be somewhat warped. And, of course, he’d need to think I’m funny, too.
I don’t trust people who don’t smile and will NOT date someone who doesn’t genuinely smile or laugh much. I don’t buy that ‘still waters run deep’ crap – if I’m always worried that you’re not happy then I’m not going to be happy.
He needs to be a gentleman and respectful to everyone, even the janitor. He should be able to banter and joke around with just folks from every walk of life. He should be color blind and class blind.
He should be self-confident enough to allow me to do my ‘own thing’, including nights out with ‘the girls’. He should have his own interests and hobbies that he loves, but not necessarily expect me to be involved with him in those hobbies all the time and vice versa. (e.g. I love training Vixen and competing with her. I expect him to support and encourage me. I expect him to get as excited as I do about a new AKC title, but I don’t expect, or necessarily want, him to come to all the competitions.)
Since I’m still on my own little spiritual journey, I expect him to respect that and would like for him to have his own ‘spirituality’. We don’t have to believe or practice the same things, but should be able to live harmoniously together and respect each others’ beliefs.
He will definitely need to tolerate the fact that I’m no FlyLady and my house would never pass a white glove test (or have enough money to pay for a maid :D ). He must, absolutely, non-negotiably get along with my family and, as a bonus, think they are as awesome as I do. Hopefully he feels the same way about his family. I’m wary of men who have (or have had) terrible relationships with their parents.
If he loves NASCAR, SEC sports, fried okra, good bbq and dipping his hamburger in ketchup those would be HUGE bonuses. If he wanted to whisk me away to the “real south” and save me from all these snowbirds and rude northerners in Florida, he might never get rid of me. Ditto if he wants to have kids and/or has youngsters of his own.
Looks have never been important to me. A genuine smile with kind eyes and a healthy self-esteem makes any man handsome in my book. In fact, my friends laugh cause I think John Goodman and Jim Belushi are da bomb!
I think we all really just want someone who loves us exactly as we are and is our biggest cheerleader. Someone we can totally be ourselves around without having to put up walls or wear a mask around. Someone who makes us feel better about ourselves and life in general when we’re together. What that requires is going to be different for every person.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
(this could be trouble because it's a serious (mostly) answer from me)
It doesn't matter... Eagle, tell your friend it doesn't matter... and here's why:
1. He just needs to be himself. Period. If he's trying to be what someone else wants him to be that will only work for a while (see number 2) and he'll end up being miserable because he's "not allowed to be himself" (and it's even worse because he's the one not allowing it)
2. Trying to find out what women want and then being that is a losing proposition. Because as soon as they (the women) figure out that's what you're doing... they'll change it! (they're sneaky that way)
He just needs to be himself, genuinely... while being AWARE of the women he comes in contact with and not limiting his 'options' to some pre-conceived idea he might have... and then she'll be there, seemingly out of the blue... I'll bet he's already missed lots of women who would've been perfect for him because he limited himself and didn't even notice the way someone looked at him or treated him...
And as for some (I said 'some') of the posts above: It sounds like you women are describing the guys in the books/movies by that "message in a bottle" writer guy... and I'll wager the dinner of your choice that you've all passed up guys with great hearts, smiles, senses of humor, etc because there are lots of them out there... and they're lonely and hurting because they're everything that women describe that they want but just can't see...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waterbuffalo
If Tom can take a woman's advice, then he may be able to cultivate a meaningful relationship.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
Too true, Strange one. I can tell you right off the bat three awesome guys I missed out on, but they were rejected because the kool-aid prevented me from seeing past their lack of interest in TWI. :(
I almost always will give a guy at least one chance to get to know him better. It's why I like going to the local oyster bar for our first date. It's extremely casual, quiet enough to talk and very difficult to be pretentious or fake in that kind of setting. It also gives me a chance to see how they treat the oyster shucker since he/she is right there with us for part of the evening.
Besides that, I just like raw oysters.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
ewww... you can have my share Belle...
Oh... Eagle... he always needs to remember and live by: "it's her world and we're just livin' in it!"...
(at least that's what 'she who must be obeyed' tells me)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
George Aar
I love this stuff, hearing what women claim they're looking for in a guy. Uh huh.
"I want a guy who likes long romantic stolls on the beach at midnight, pillow fights, and snuggling up by the fire and eating 'Frangos'. Oh, and he has to have clean fingernails too!"
In reality, the guy she really goes for doesn't necessarily meet any of those criteria, if my experience is normative.
I tend to be a little more pragmatic these days in my expectations, like "Does she weigh less than my truck?" and (equally important) "Does she have a pulse?"...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cowgirl
George , I have to disagree with you, I have met a few men who have fit that criteria, they absolutely swept me off my feet and it was absolutely wonderful !! And yes I have crashed and burned but I have absolutely no regrets.
Cowgirl
Edited by CowgirlLink to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
Okay George - the honest to gawd truth? I want someone who will let me fart, burp & drink beer with him while we root for our respective NASCAR favorites instead of cleaning the house or doing anything otherwise productive.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
We were made for each other Belle!!!
(well, except for the NASCAR thing)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
George Aar
Yeah, you had me till the NASCAR thing too.
"Wow! LOOK! He's making a left turn! And he is too! And so is he!"
I don't get it...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
doojable
Ok so you want to get REAL HONEST?! He has to have a p*nis. (LOL)
I'll put up with a lot in a guy if he's honest. And contrary to popular opinion, I do mean honest. I once found out that my husband knew that something didnt' look good on me and didn't say so. That bothered me a lot.
I think most women want a good balance of someone they can be natural with (along with the guy being himself as well) as well as a man that allows a few fantasies to push through to the surface every now and again. (Yes there are guys that do that.) Why do good men and women get passed up? Who knows? Answer that and I bet Jesus will let you sit at the right hand of God for a couple of hours.
Yes. both parties need to be themselves and feel at ease being natural. Each of us has different things that make us feel at ease and natural. I think that's what many of the women are describing here.
Looks fade and change. Character counts for a lot. I really never look at looks - never have. Give me a guy that is comfortable in his own skin and lets me be comfortable in my skin, add some chemisty, and then see what happens.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
markomalley
A man's worst nightmare...his woman asking him the question, "Am I fat?"
If the man answers "no" -- the comeback is "liar!"
If the man answers "yes" -- the comeback is "pig!"
Now, back to our regularly scheduled thread...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
doojable
A smart woman will never ask that question...
Hey Guys! "There's your sign!"
Edited by doojableLink to comment
Share on other sites
ex10
I have no idea what women want in men. And I especially have no idea what I want. Just when I think I have it figured out, I don't.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
coolchef
belle you had me too
up until the nascar thing
hell my wife ,who is the best wife on earth imo can slurp beers with the best of them,burps,and cuts a fart that sounds like a hand granade
but man i love her just the way she is
and she must love me too,cause i didn't make any new year resolutions!
i like me just the way i am
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.