What's the matter with you guys! All you do is post and whine and back stab everybody! Why don't you call some people up and try doing that face to face! I mean, over the phone, but as if you were face to face, while you're on the phone! That would make more sense! Can't you see that this is exactly what happened in Deuteronomy????? Geez, if you'd have your way, God would have been mad at even DAVID! Get a clue, people. It's time to eat the baby and spit out the diaper! I mean, fish the pond but be sure to throw your trash away in a trash can! Get it!!!???? I love you! But I have no problem with any of this because I know what I've been forgiven for! I know because I got it in my own personalized Personal Prophecy Prize Bag! and every word was true, even the stuff that hasn't happened yet but that I can already see is the way I really am and if I can just be a little more meek I can ....
I agree that the mods should be the first line of defense... but I'm of the mind that if someone resorts to threats, insults and name-calling, the gloves are off. that kind of thing is not what PM's are for, that's not privileged communication, that's sneaky and cowardly.
if you want to insult me and call me names, do it in public. I have no patience for bullies who do their dirty work behind closed doors where no one can see. CK is insane, but at least he is indiscriminate in his abuse and does it in public where we can ALL laugh at him.
Amen
... the gloves are off...
I think PM's are pm's.
But if a new weirdo shows up and starts to go off on me -- I am not obligated to keep your insanity a secret.
(Even an old weirdo for that matter, but if I have opened dialougue with them in the past, I would first approach them.)
When I first got here a Rev Splinter emailed me when my email address was public.
I did not reveal his name but I did reveal his message. He was cruel, accusatory, caustic about Greasespot etc. I did email him back and asked him to never contact me again. But his email was so disturbing to me I did post it.
Really, what kind of an idiot comes to a place NEW and begins to private message people "nasy notes'?
First, if you want to share a secret - you should know the person. Or you should ask, may I speak to you in confidence? But to be a NEW poster and start to send private nasty grams is Bull crap and very very stupid on the behalf of the sender.
And why would you think people were jerks and send them a PM and expect them to keep it a secret?
(Gee, Mary is a moron and I cannot stand her beliefs, I will send this moron a note and be acromonious, and then TRUST her to keep it a secret.... ahhhh duh!)
Yes, some can say I would never ever post a PM and perhaps you never would. But for whatever reason that NEW poster so disturbed our regular poster that she did post it. I'm with her.
And legally you can forward a PM or an email. Or even a phone message you leave on a phone. IF you have EVER worked corporately you know that.
All of the above have been done to me in that environment. And it did not feel good, and it did anger me until I realized what an idiot I was for thinking it wouldn't happen.
I used to send stuff to the soldiers a couple years ago. I printed out the address to a girl at work and it had my email address on it.
She began to email me. I didn't really like her but to be polite I would email jokes etc. Well, she would rag about the boss. And I replied. Kind of benine listening.
That B-ch ADDED to my email things I had not said, printed the email out and passed it around the place. NOW THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH. She wanted to crab about the boss and used ME to get the job done.
Another time, I left a message on the phone of my lawyer boss. I told him it was confidential and I needed to speak with him about so and so. He sent the message to so and so's phone.
Anything I may say in a PM could possibly be repeated, especially if I don't know the person. So, I'm very careful about what I say until some level of trust has been established. This is regardless of who initiates the PM.
IF I establish some sort of rapport with someone and we establish a friendly level of trust, I'll be more willing to share more personal information and generally take the friendship offline to e-mail, IM and/or phone numbers. I realize that, because people are people, some things may be repeated, even unintentionally. I'm still careful with what I share, but enjoy/don't mind sharing more information about myself.
BEFORE I share ANYTHING that I would really consider personal, private and secret, I make absolutely certain that I trust that person with such important information. Even then, it's no guarantee - but that's the way life is, c'est pas?
Attack me, completely unprovoked and yah, I'm gonna give Paw a heads up in case the person is certifiable and doing this to others, but I'm also going to just block that person from being able to send me more PM's. Then move on and forget about it.
If it comes up that this person is pulling the same crap on others, yah, I'm gonna expose 'em. That means publicly or privately.
But I never get any PMs, so it's never been a problem.
It just seems real simple to me, "always act as if anything you do or say could be shared".
This is how I decided who to trust and who not to trust with who I was or any other personal information when I started at WayDale as RocknHardPlace, then insurgent, and WaywardWayfer. Obviously, and very thankfully, I chose to trust the right people because my identity was never compromised by anyone by myself and the WAYGB.
I guess I should have expected that asking, "Is there a rule?" would lead to someone contacting an attorney. Sigh.
In the rules of the forum it is stated: " All are welcome here. However, harassing behavior will result in being banned from the forums. There is no need for personal attacks. If you have a specific problem with a poster, settle it outside of the forum. Threads of that nature will be deleted or sent to the Soap Opera Forum."
IMO, that covers PMs, too. ::shrug:: Perhaps I'm wrong.
And what about this trust thing...?
If it's posted somewhere, then beware that it will probably come out in the open sooner or later.
Hm.
I suppose that's a good rule of thumb...for people who never interact in 3D with one another.
But what happens when people interact in 3D, get along just fine for quite a while...say a year or more...then somebody gets PO'd at somebody in 3D and someone decides that it's time to reveal...or threaten to reveal...conversations had in PMs?
Technically, that's fair game...right? I mean, it was posted and all...
But those posts were part and parcel of telephone conversations or discussions over coffee or even shared somewhere off this board like in a MySpace blog that is private (which means not open to the public but open only to those invited in).
What then?
I mean, once somebody gets PO'd at somebody else, innocent quips can easily be turned and twisted into 'threatening language'...or some other such excuse to get even.
The underlying promise that because information was in an email or an internet post somewhere, then it's fair public game is more or less a control game.
BEFORE I share ANYTHING that I would really consider personal, private and secret, I make absolutely certain that I trust that person with such important information. Even then, it's no guarantee - but that's the way life is, c'est pas?
Nothing is guaranteed - ever - not in real life, not online, not ever. No matter what "the rules" say.
What's your agenda with this thread? Have you p1ssed someone off to the point that you're worried about 'em ratting you out? Got some dirt on someone and you're trying to make sure you don't get banned if you share it? Are you hopingto start something with somebody? You seem to be the only one questioning this.
Come on, Cool, you're smarter than that. You've been around long enough to know 'the rules' and how Paw runs the boards. What's your point?
Nothing is guaranteed - ever - not in real life, not online, not ever. No matter what "the rules" say.
What's your agenda with this thread? Have you p1ssed someone off to the point that you're worried about 'em ratting you out? Got some dirt on someone and you're trying to make sure you don't get banned if you share it? Are you hopingto start something with somebody? You seem to be the only one questioning this.
Come on, Cool, you're smarter than that. You've been around long enough to know 'the rules' and how Paw runs the boards. What's your point?
Ah. Belle. :)
I'm always ....ing people off, Belle. You know that. Doesn't mean I've done anything to be 'ratted out' about. Why do you ask?
As I said in an earlier post on this thread, whatever I have said to another GSer in private I usually bring out to the open threads sooner or later.
As for dirt on somebody? Get real. I've had 'dirt' on people for years...never posted it, either. Why do you ask?
I may seem to be the only one questioning this, but 2 pages of comments and over 400 views says otherwise. I seem, actually, to be the only one with the guts/stupidity/whatever to make a topic of it out in the open...as opposed to 'private' messages that I later post in the open.
My agenda? I said it in an earlier post: I've of late been threatened with someone bringing my personal information out on the open threads. Why do you ask?
The information that was threatened to be brought out on the open threads had to do with the nervous breakdown I recently had...and that I talked about here on GS. The only thing that was personal about that time in my life were the incidents that led up to the breakdown.
Why would somebody threaten to bring that information out into the open forums? To expose the insanity in my life? Well...I've done that for myself quite well, thank you.
BUT...
It was just a back-of-my-mind issue until the PM postings in the CES forum.
I really didn't think that long-time GSers would post PMs out in the open...until it happened.
So I wondered what was the agenda with that.
I mean, seriously, long-time GSers know how to block someone from PMing them, know how to alert the moderators, know how to protect themselves, and most usually, in the first few PM interactions with someone new, don't give out enough information that if the new person is a whack job, then the 'threats', 'harassment' and 'abuse' are virtual and impotent.
The only agenda I could figure is it's a control game.
The PM's that were exposed weren't sharings of a personal nature, they were ATTACKS. I think most people know and abide by the ethics of privacy, but this NEW poster decided to make her attacks through PM. And then she would say it was a "discussion". While I didn't publish the emails, she sent me her opinion of the matter and then suggested that we were on the same page, which wasn't true.
Done over, I wish the people involved had sent the offending PM's to me or a moderator. But I think the people that did publicly display them would NOT publish the normal PM. This was an extraordinary circumstance in my experience on forums.
CW, as one who has had the "threat of exposure" hanging over my head for quite some time, I have a few things I would like to offer you and to anyone else who may find themselves in this situation.
First and foremost, the moderators here do a great job of dealing with attacks that are prersonal in nature or that reveal personal information. This I know first hand. If one slips through (and that can happen through no fault of the moderators) and you let them know about it, they will handle it quickly and fairly.
Now, I realize that means the moderators would have that personal information you didn't want anyone to know - again I have experienced this. All I can say is that it is embarassing, yes. But they will never hold it over you or use it against you. They are pretty good at being impartial and they are good about recognizing there is usually at least 3 sides to every story.
That being said, I think you will also find that many of the posters here are very forgiving. They, like you, like I, like all human beings who have lived to adulthood, have their own skeltons in the closet. Most will not judge yours any more harshly than they would want you to judge theirs. This too, I know first hand.
Finally, what makes the thought of exposure so incredibily intimidating is usually our own shame regarding whatever it is that might be exposed. Yup, there we go, back to the shame issue once again. Funny how we end up there over and over and over again. When we can come to terms with our pasts and forgive ourselves for our pasts. When we can look at where we are now, how far we have come, shame begins to lose its power.
Pawtucket, it's good to read you saying, "This was an extraordinary circumstance in my experience on forums." Kind of a "Whew!" moment. TYVM.
Abi, yes, I agree...shame is a big point with this...it is being attempted to shame me into submission. If it were just me and my life involved, I'd flip them the bird and beat them to the punch about posting the information. It would be quite nice, actually, to be able to discuss some things here on GS. However, there were other people and their lives involved...inadvertently...without their realization...without their understanding...without them having a clue. It would be just downright mean to somehow implicate them in any way and/or to bring parts of their personal lives out into the open. There would be no way to 'expose' me without hurting others in the process. Which is what is getting under my skin.
It is nice to read you saying, "First and foremost, the moderators here do a great job of dealing with attacks that are prersonal in nature or that reveal personal information. This I know first hand. If one slips through (and that can happen through no fault of the moderators) and you let them know about it, they will handle it quickly and fairly." I think my shoulders finally unknotted. :)
Hambone my man! You wrote, "The waiter here seems quite capable to mop up some messy threads.." Yeah...I have to agree wholeheartedly.
The PM's that were exposed weren't sharings of a personal nature, they were ATTACKS. I think most people know and abide by the ethics of privacy, but this NEW poster decided to make her attacks through PM. And then she would say it was a "discussion". While I didn't publish the emails, she sent me her opinion of the matter and then suggested that we were on the same page, which wasn't true.
Done over, I wish the people involved had sent the offending PM's to me or a moderator. But I think the people that did publicly display them would NOT publish the normal PM. This was an extraordinary circumstance in my experience on forums.
Amen to that.
And yes, she did make it sound as if you guys were on the same page which to me, made me even more leary of her as I could not see YOU on any page that would advocate such bullying especially in secret. Attack someone then say shhh don't tell...
Sounds like Wicked Uncle Ernie --- Or a ride in Vic's motorcoach...
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socks
What's the matter with you guys! All you do is post and whine and back stab everybody! Why don't you call some people up and try doing that face to face! I mean, over the phone, but as if you were face to face, while you're on the phone! That would make more sense! Can't you see that this is exactly what happened in Deuteronomy????? Geez, if you'd have your way, God would have been mad at even DAVID! Get a clue, people. It's time to eat the baby and spit out the diaper! I mean, fish the pond but be sure to throw your trash away in a trash can! Get it!!!???? I love you! But I have no problem with any of this because I know what I've been forgiven for! I know because I got it in my own personalized Personal Prophecy Prize Bag! and every word was true, even the stuff that hasn't happened yet but that I can already see is the way I really am and if I can just be a little more meek I can ....
This one's GREAT!
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Dot Matrix
Amen
... the gloves are off...
I think PM's are pm's.
But if a new weirdo shows up and starts to go off on me -- I am not obligated to keep your insanity a secret.
(Even an old weirdo for that matter, but if I have opened dialougue with them in the past, I would first approach them.)
When I first got here a Rev Splinter emailed me when my email address was public.
I did not reveal his name but I did reveal his message. He was cruel, accusatory, caustic about Greasespot etc. I did email him back and asked him to never contact me again. But his email was so disturbing to me I did post it.
Really, what kind of an idiot comes to a place NEW and begins to private message people "nasy notes'?
First, if you want to share a secret - you should know the person. Or you should ask, may I speak to you in confidence? But to be a NEW poster and start to send private nasty grams is Bull crap and very very stupid on the behalf of the sender.
And why would you think people were jerks and send them a PM and expect them to keep it a secret?
(Gee, Mary is a moron and I cannot stand her beliefs, I will send this moron a note and be acromonious, and then TRUST her to keep it a secret.... ahhhh duh!)
Yes, some can say I would never ever post a PM and perhaps you never would. But for whatever reason that NEW poster so disturbed our regular poster that she did post it. I'm with her.
And legally you can forward a PM or an email. Or even a phone message you leave on a phone. IF you have EVER worked corporately you know that.
All of the above have been done to me in that environment. And it did not feel good, and it did anger me until I realized what an idiot I was for thinking it wouldn't happen.
Edited for spelling error
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Dot Matrix
PS.
I used to send stuff to the soldiers a couple years ago. I printed out the address to a girl at work and it had my email address on it.
She began to email me. I didn't really like her but to be polite I would email jokes etc. Well, she would rag about the boss. And I replied. Kind of benine listening.
That B-ch ADDED to my email things I had not said, printed the email out and passed it around the place. NOW THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH. She wanted to crab about the boss and used ME to get the job done.
Another time, I left a message on the phone of my lawyer boss. I told him it was confidential and I needed to speak with him about so and so. He sent the message to so and so's phone.
Got to be smarter than that...
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Belle
*shrug* Dunno.... seems common sense to me....
Anything I may say in a PM could possibly be repeated, especially if I don't know the person. So, I'm very careful about what I say until some level of trust has been established. This is regardless of who initiates the PM.
IF I establish some sort of rapport with someone and we establish a friendly level of trust, I'll be more willing to share more personal information and generally take the friendship offline to e-mail, IM and/or phone numbers. I realize that, because people are people, some things may be repeated, even unintentionally. I'm still careful with what I share, but enjoy/don't mind sharing more information about myself.
BEFORE I share ANYTHING that I would really consider personal, private and secret, I make absolutely certain that I trust that person with such important information. Even then, it's no guarantee - but that's the way life is, c'est pas?
Attack me, completely unprovoked and yah, I'm gonna give Paw a heads up in case the person is certifiable and doing this to others, but I'm also going to just block that person from being able to send me more PM's. Then move on and forget about it.
If it comes up that this person is pulling the same crap on others, yah, I'm gonna expose 'em. That means publicly or privately.
But I never get any PMs, so it's never been a problem.
It just seems real simple to me, "always act as if anything you do or say could be shared".
This is how I decided who to trust and who not to trust with who I was or any other personal information when I started at WayDale as RocknHardPlace, then insurgent, and WaywardWayfer. Obviously, and very thankfully, I chose to trust the right people because my identity was never compromised by anyone by myself and the WAYGB.
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Shellon
Ditto, if you don't want it public, don't post it.
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Dot Matrix
I checked with an atty. She said to get the PM's some here got from that new poster -- was just like getting unsolicited mail.
You can do what you want with it even if it says confidential... You can legally post it on a public forum
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CoolWaters
I guess I should have expected that asking, "Is there a rule?" would lead to someone contacting an attorney. Sigh.
In the rules of the forum it is stated: " All are welcome here. However, harassing behavior will result in being banned from the forums. There is no need for personal attacks. If you have a specific problem with a poster, settle it outside of the forum. Threads of that nature will be deleted or sent to the Soap Opera Forum."
IMO, that covers PMs, too. ::shrug:: Perhaps I'm wrong.
And what about this trust thing...?
If it's posted somewhere, then beware that it will probably come out in the open sooner or later.
Hm.
I suppose that's a good rule of thumb...for people who never interact in 3D with one another.
But what happens when people interact in 3D, get along just fine for quite a while...say a year or more...then somebody gets PO'd at somebody in 3D and someone decides that it's time to reveal...or threaten to reveal...conversations had in PMs?
Technically, that's fair game...right? I mean, it was posted and all...
But those posts were part and parcel of telephone conversations or discussions over coffee or even shared somewhere off this board like in a MySpace blog that is private (which means not open to the public but open only to those invited in).
What then?
I mean, once somebody gets PO'd at somebody else, innocent quips can easily be turned and twisted into 'threatening language'...or some other such excuse to get even.
The underlying promise that because information was in an email or an internet post somewhere, then it's fair public game is more or less a control game.
Isn't it?
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Belle
And, I repeat:
Nothing is guaranteed - ever - not in real life, not online, not ever. No matter what "the rules" say.
What's your agenda with this thread? Have you p1ssed someone off to the point that you're worried about 'em ratting you out? Got some dirt on someone and you're trying to make sure you don't get banned if you share it? Are you hopingto start something with somebody? You seem to be the only one questioning this.
Come on, Cool, you're smarter than that. You've been around long enough to know 'the rules' and how Paw runs the boards.
What's your point?
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CoolWaters
Ah. Belle. :)
I'm always ....ing people off, Belle. You know that. Doesn't mean I've done anything to be 'ratted out' about. Why do you ask?
As I said in an earlier post on this thread, whatever I have said to another GSer in private I usually bring out to the open threads sooner or later.
As for dirt on somebody? Get real. I've had 'dirt' on people for years...never posted it, either. Why do you ask?
I may seem to be the only one questioning this, but 2 pages of comments and over 400 views says otherwise. I seem, actually, to be the only one with the guts/stupidity/whatever to make a topic of it out in the open...as opposed to 'private' messages that I later post in the open.
My agenda? I said it in an earlier post: I've of late been threatened with someone bringing my personal information out on the open threads. Why do you ask?
The information that was threatened to be brought out on the open threads had to do with the nervous breakdown I recently had...and that I talked about here on GS. The only thing that was personal about that time in my life were the incidents that led up to the breakdown.
Why would somebody threaten to bring that information out into the open forums? To expose the insanity in my life? Well...I've done that for myself quite well, thank you.
BUT...
It was just a back-of-my-mind issue until the PM postings in the CES forum.
I really didn't think that long-time GSers would post PMs out in the open...until it happened.
So I wondered what was the agenda with that.
I mean, seriously, long-time GSers know how to block someone from PMing them, know how to alert the moderators, know how to protect themselves, and most usually, in the first few PM interactions with someone new, don't give out enough information that if the new person is a whack job, then the 'threats', 'harassment' and 'abuse' are virtual and impotent.
The only agenda I could figure is it's a control game.
So I asked...
Isn't it?
::shrug::
Maybe I'm seeing things 'wrong'.
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Belle
nevermind
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pawtucket
The PM's that were exposed weren't sharings of a personal nature, they were ATTACKS. I think most people know and abide by the ethics of privacy, but this NEW poster decided to make her attacks through PM. And then she would say it was a "discussion". While I didn't publish the emails, she sent me her opinion of the matter and then suggested that we were on the same page, which wasn't true.
Done over, I wish the people involved had sent the offending PM's to me or a moderator. But I think the people that did publicly display them would NOT publish the normal PM. This was an extraordinary circumstance in my experience on forums.
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Abigail
CW, as one who has had the "threat of exposure" hanging over my head for quite some time, I have a few things I would like to offer you and to anyone else who may find themselves in this situation.
First and foremost, the moderators here do a great job of dealing with attacks that are prersonal in nature or that reveal personal information. This I know first hand. If one slips through (and that can happen through no fault of the moderators) and you let them know about it, they will handle it quickly and fairly.
Now, I realize that means the moderators would have that personal information you didn't want anyone to know - again I have experienced this. All I can say is that it is embarassing, yes. But they will never hold it over you or use it against you. They are pretty good at being impartial and they are good about recognizing there is usually at least 3 sides to every story.
That being said, I think you will also find that many of the posters here are very forgiving. They, like you, like I, like all human beings who have lived to adulthood, have their own skeltons in the closet. Most will not judge yours any more harshly than they would want you to judge theirs. This too, I know first hand.
Finally, what makes the thought of exposure so incredibily intimidating is usually our own shame regarding whatever it is that might be exposed. Yup, there we go, back to the shame issue once again. Funny how we end up there over and over and over again. When we can come to terms with our pasts and forgive ourselves for our pasts. When we can look at where we are now, how far we have come, shame begins to lose its power.
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Ham
While I agree with everybody here
I still wouldn't reveal a PM. I think it takes a bad situation, and makes it much worse..
Instead of having somebody furious, they are now frothing..
I would find it hard to trust someone who posts a PM publically, in the heat of the moment, or otherwise.
The waiter here seems quite capable to mop up some messy threads..
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CoolWaters
Pawtucket, it's good to read you saying, "This was an extraordinary circumstance in my experience on forums." Kind of a "Whew!" moment. TYVM.
Abi, yes, I agree...shame is a big point with this...it is being attempted to shame me into submission. If it were just me and my life involved, I'd flip them the bird and beat them to the punch about posting the information. It would be quite nice, actually, to be able to discuss some things here on GS. However, there were other people and their lives involved...inadvertently...without their realization...without their understanding...without them having a clue. It would be just downright mean to somehow implicate them in any way and/or to bring parts of their personal lives out into the open. There would be no way to 'expose' me without hurting others in the process. Which is what is getting under my skin.
It is nice to read you saying, "First and foremost, the moderators here do a great job of dealing with attacks that are prersonal in nature or that reveal personal information. This I know first hand. If one slips through (and that can happen through no fault of the moderators) and you let them know about it, they will handle it quickly and fairly." I think my shoulders finally unknotted. :)
Hambone my man! You wrote, "The waiter here seems quite capable to mop up some messy threads.." Yeah...I have to agree wholeheartedly.
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Dot Matrix
Amen to that.
And yes, she did make it sound as if you guys were on the same page which to me, made me even more leary of her as I could not see YOU on any page that would advocate such bullying especially in secret. Attack someone then say shhh don't tell...
Sounds like Wicked Uncle Ernie --- Or a ride in Vic's motorcoach...
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