Who Was Sexually Harrassed?

[Eagle]

This happened to me in 1986. I was a supervisor for security at an insurance company (I will not name). My office was in the front of the building and my job was the day shift and supervising the second and third shifts and making their schedules, arranging days off, overtime, and such. There was an opening at the front of the building near the door and that was near my office. As I was doing my schedules, a woman walked in wearing a mini-skirt and after ten minutes of trying to get her out of my office, she asked me out for coffee. You would normally think I should take her up on this. I was 33 then and she was about 38. However, she was kind of plump and the miniskirt did not take on her. That wouldn't be all that bad except her face looked like a bulldog.

I swear. She looked like a bulldog in a miniskirt walking on two legs. With heels. And she worked in Human Resources.

Anyway, I finally succeeded in getting her out of my office by at least gently telling her no, I was not interested (at least in dating a miniskirted bulldog with heels and big hair.)

The next morning, I saw her coming into the building again, and trailing her was the company's CEO. Her dress this time was colorful and down an inch past her knees and she had less makeup. (She still looked like a bulldog but better dressed) In order to make her feel better, I said, "Good morning. You look nice this morning. That's a nice dress." I meant that, too. (At least as opposed to the miniskirt wrapped on her huge hips). I then saw the CEO and saw he was also wearing a colorful tie (kind of like Rush Limbaugh but before Limbaugh) and I also remarked to him that I liked his tie. He lit up and thanked me as I opened the door for him. The bulldog did hear me say that to him, too.

One hour later, I am approached by my boss, who then asked me if I had said "lewd comments" to any women coming through the door, sexually oriented that is. Stunned, I could think of no women that I had said "lewd" comments to. The women there at the company were constantly greeted by me in the morning telling them how nice they looked and I got little gifts from them, like cookies, muffins, stuff like that. Never had a problem until then. I asked my boss who my accuser was and he said he could not tell me because he did not want to violate the privacy of the woman. But he was going to write up a charge of sexual harrassment and have me fired or moved from the building. I slowly began to think about the woman from HR, the bulldog, and I directly asked if this was the woman he was talking about. He could have just said no, but his eyes averted mine after saying that and he said, "it doesn't matter what woman, the fact remains you harrassed her and created a hostile environment here."

It was at this time I said that I would never, EVER, allow him to put anything in my file, charges or otherwise, without knowing my accuser, or having a hearing on the matter. I then told him if he did, he was facing an unavoidable lawsuit. This guy, and this woman, were messing with my life. I just came out and directly said, "It was that woman from HR wasn't it?" She asked me out yesterday after wearing some revealing clothing (I actually said this) and I turned her away from my office. To make her feel better, I told her she dressed nice today."

"She says you came on to her. It was the way you said it."

"Then it was her, wasn't it?" I asked? He looked shocked that he slipped on that and said, "Well do you have any witnesses?"

"You mean, that I didn't harrass her? Don't you ask HER if there are witnesses that I DID harrass her? I have to prove my innocence but she doesn't have to prove my guilt? What is this? But if you must know, D**** H***** (CEO) was right behind her and witnessed the entire thing. I complemented his tie. I don't see him coming down here calling me a homo..."

My boss then turned white, I mean like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, except not as fat. He did not look like a bulldog. He looked more like a ferret. He then left my office for three minutes and was back in a flash. I asked him if I could call the CEO's secretary.

"THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY!" he said loudly, like as in a reaction to being inside a haunted house. It won't go into your record at all. I'll just talk to her.

The next day, however, my supervisor's duties were moved to another post. True to his word, nothing went into my record, but I just had to assume that in order to appease the Bulldog, I was moved out of the building.

One year later, I get a call from that same company. I had long applied for a job there doing anything, such as claims, before that incident took place. I was perplexed at why my application was still on file. But, in order to get the job, I had to go through their HR department. I decided I would show up for a job interview and let Bulldog have it in front of her friends. The job interview was my excuse to get back into the building. When I arrived, I could not find her anywhere. There was no sign of the miniskirted, high-heeled, purple lipstick, big-haired, plump and almost forty year old woman who once was staffed there. Perhaps she called in sick. Since at this time I didn't care if I got a job there or not, I asked about her, and the receptionist there plainly asked who I was talking about. So I said, "The one that has a face like a bulldog."

I heard laughter break out in an adjacent office, and the receptionist, a younger girl said, "She doesn't work here anymore." I also found that my former boss did not work there anymore. "We've been looking for you," she said.

I was hired by the Vice President of Human Resources himself, first to be a mail clerk and then the same day was promoted to Customer service and Claims Rep. I was now making a salary greater than I made as a security supervisor. About a month into my job, I again asked about the woman in HR, whom everyone knew by now was referred to by me as the "Bulldog". A supervisor in claims then pulled me aside and told me what happened. "That woman you talk about was fired. She stalked the HR director, (a married guy) for months before he had to call the police on her near his home. She was always dressed like a streetwalker, but a real ugly one."

I had always wondered if the HR director, now the VP of HR, remembered what happened to me and began to believe my story only after his own experience. They never got the CEO involved. I wonder, in order to make amends, had pulled my file on to his desk, saw the application, and feeling bad about it, called me in to get a job.

I remember the laugh from the adjacent office when I said the "Bulldog."

Later, a film called "Disclosure" came out with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore. I couldn't hack watching that movie more than once. At least Michael Douglas's character had a looker.

I got stuck with a plump, miniskirted, purple lip-stick, high heeled horror who in childhood was probably called "Buster".

Eagle

Edited December 28, 2006 by Eagle

[Abigail]

how do I count them all? Define sexually harrassed, is it confined only to the work place? Does getting harassed at a laundry mat count? What about walking home from school? I never lost a job over it, but I certainly had my tushy smacked a few times. Then there was the hand on the knee . . .

[Eagle]

I have to say, I have sympathy for those women (AND MEN) who have been sexually harrassed. We count the ways it can happen. We have to count the ways it can be made up as well. I know women here have been sexually harrassed. Look at TWI. Let us count the women who were sexually molested, never mind just sexually harrassed. It is a familiar topic here.

I was curious on how many guys admit to being sexually harrassed, honest to God, in the work place. Be serious. No flaming. A serious topic. Guys are harrassed, too. I made it sound funny. I can now. But then, it wasn't funny at all.

Eagle

Edited December 28, 2006 by Eagle