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Raf
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I don't remember if I've used this one before or not, but let's see.

Gopher Everett?

The old tactician has got us a plan.  It was in his yonder bureau.  I reckon it would fetch us enough cash for a good used auto part and should be a little left over on the side.

You got some light fingers Everett.  Gopher?

You miserable water-lily snake.  You stole from my kin!

Who was fixing to betray us.

You didn't know that at the time.

So I borrowed it til I did know.

That don't make no sense.

 

 

 

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Gopher Everett?

The old tactician has got us a plan.  It was in his yonder bureau.  I reckon it would fetch us enough cash for a good used auto part and should be a little left over on the side.

You got some light fingers Everett.  Gopher?

You miserable water-lily snake.  You stole from my kin!

Who was fixing to betray us.

You didn't know that at the time.

So I borrowed it til I did know.

That don't make no sense.

 

Pete. its a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart, now what

the hecks that sound?

It appears to be some kind of a..... congregation.  Care for some gopher?

No thank you Delmar.  A third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding her back down.

Oh, you can have the whole thing.  Me and Pete already had one.  We ran across a whole gopher village.

 

 

 

 

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That's it.   I watched it many times.  So many, that I still use quotes from it in my vernacular today, but most people don't get where I'm coming from.   I love the scene, actually, just after those quotes I mentioned when, Delmar (Tim Blake Nelson) gets baptized and Pete (John Turturro) says, "Well I'll be a son of a beech, Delmar's been saved" and Delmar exclaims "I've been redeemed.  The preacher's done washed away all my sins and transgressions.  It's the straight and narrow from here on out and heaven everlasting is my reward". Then Everett (George Clooney) answers "Delmar what are you talking about?  We got bigger fish to fry".   Your up George.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"Reputation is what people think of you. Character is what you are."

 

"I only make decisions when my stomach is full or my balls are empty."

"Well, thank God dinner is being served."

 

"Throughout time, our people robbed, lied, and killed. Until one day, we found ourselves... noble men. But that nobility never came from chivalry. It came from being tough and ruthless."

 

George

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"Reputation is what people think of you. Character is what you are."

 

"I only make decisions when my stomach is full or my balls are empty."

"Well, thank God dinner is being served."

 

"Throughout time, our people robbed, lied, and killed. Until one day, we found ourselves... noble men. But that nobility never came from chivalry. It came from being tough and ruthless."

 

"My flock, this will not be the war of heroes. Nations will slaughter each other, while we get rich. This is going to be fun."

 

"We are the first independent intelligence agency. Refined but brutal, civilized but merciless."

 

George

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  • 2 weeks later...

"Ooh, I fell on my keys! "

 

"About six months... but I'm on probation, so it's all good, baby!" "No, I mean, what do you do best?"   "I can't do that here. That's why they put me away, baby! "

 

"He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law."     "You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket?"    "I have to. I'm a landlord."      "Oh, Lord, hear my plea; destroy him! He maketh a blight on the land!"    "Don't listen to him; he's crazy. "

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"Ooh, I fell on my keys! "

 

"About six months... but I'm on probation, so it's all good, baby!" "No, I mean, what do you do best?"   "I can't do that here. That's why they put me away, baby! "

 

"He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law."     "You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket?"    "I have to. I'm a landlord."      "Oh, Lord, hear my plea; destroy him! He maketh a blight on the land!"    "Don't listen to him; he's crazy. "

 

" I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you!"

 

"We find the defendants incredibly guilty."

 

"And may I humbly add, your Honor, that we've learned our lesson and that we'll never do it again."

 

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"Ooh, I fell on my keys! "

 

"About six months... but I'm on probation, so it's all good, baby!" "No, I mean, what do you do best?"   "I can't do that here. That's why they put me away, baby! "

 

"He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law."     "You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket?"    "I have to. I'm a landlord."      "Oh, Lord, hear my plea; destroy him! He maketh a blight on the land!"    "Don't listen to him; he's crazy. "

 

" I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you!"

 

"We find the defendants incredibly guilty."

 

"And may I humbly add, your Honor, that we've learned our lesson and that we'll never do it again."

 

 

"DON'T SAY IT!   I'm scared that, if I hear it just once more, I'll start getting sick to my stomach and I won't be able to stop."     "CONGRATULATIONS!"

 

 

"Not only is he a liar and a cheat and a scoundrel and a crook, who has taken money from little old ladies, but he's also talked people into doing things, especially me, that they would never in a thousand years have dreamed of doing. But, your Honor, as I understand it, the law was created to protect people from being wronged."

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