"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
"Hey, go easy on that!" "What I'm about to do, I won't want to remember a whole lot of."
"What do you call a cowboy with a sheep under each arm?" "What?" "A playboy!" "What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?" "What?" "You get a piece of @$$ that will bring a tear to your eye." "Why are divorces so expensive?" "Why?" "Because they're worth it!"
"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
"Hey, go easy on that!" "What I'm about to do, I won't want to remember a whole lot of."
"What do you call a cowboy with a sheep under each arm?" "What?" "A playboy!" "Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?" "What?" "You get a piece of @$$ that will bring a tear to your eye." "You know why divorces are so expensive?" "Why?" "Because they're worth it!"
"When you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds better than a Plan B."
"I don't know about you, but I'd sure hate to be that safe right about now."
"Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor!"
"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
"Hey, go easy on that!" "What I'm about to do, I won't want to remember a whole lot of."
"What do you call a cowboy with a sheep under each arm?" "What?" "A playboy!" "Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?" "What?" "You get a piece of @$$ that will bring a tear to your eye." "You know why divorces are so expensive?" "Why?" "Because they're worth it!"
"When you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds better than a Plan B."
"I don't know about you, but I'd sure hate to be that safe right about now."
"Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor!"
"She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine."
The jokes were Uncle Jesse with both or one Duke Boy, depending on the scene. Uncle Jesse and one were driving when Jesse drank some moonshine and then did something he didn't want to remember well. That happened at the same time as the series of jokes.
The next 2 quotes were the balladeer/ narrator.
Sheriff Roscoe derived Cooter's ability to repair the General Lee.
Professional racer and former Hazzard resident Billy Prickett boasted to Daisy about how fast his current car could go.
The end title song is Billy Ocean's "When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going". In the music video for the song, the three stars of the film lip-sync and dance as doo-wop backup singers. Because the three stars were not members of the Musicians Union, the video was banned in the UK. Despite this handicap, the song would be Ocean's first #1 UK hit.
The female lead tried to quit this production because she hated the script, but the male lead (who was also the producer) and the studio threatened to sue her, so she relented. As a matter of fact, she was right: The movie opened to poor reviews. Their sparring did not stop them from making yet a third movie together; along with the third co-star, a few years later.
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Flow7
Crimson Tide?
GeorgeStGeorge
I'm guessing that WW won't mind my adding a clue: the movie starred Danny Kaye. George
WordWolf
Once again, you posted a quote from a movie, where you could have posted 1/2 the script without me getting it, except for the one quote you posted. This was from early on in "Red Dawn."
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WordWolf
Any chance this is the Russell Brand remake of "ARTHUR"????
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GeorgeStGeorge
No.
"Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?"
"Ready!"
[they all throw their heads back and laugh]
"Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos."
"Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall."
"Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall."
1: "I'm hungry!"
2: "Oh, shut up. You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm gettin' mad enough to..."
1: "You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?"
3: "Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape."
1: "That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance."
3: "Give him a banana, Thor. It won't be long now."
2: "That's what you said yesterday! This trail is taking us to the middle of nowhere!"
George
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GeorgeStGeorge
"Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?"
"Ready!"
[they all throw their heads back and laugh]
"Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos."
"Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall."
"Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall."
1: "I'm hungry!"
2: "Oh, shut up. You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm gettin' mad enough to..."
1: "You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?"
3: "Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape."
1: "That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance."
3: "Give him a banana, Thor. It won't be long now."
2: "That's what you said yesterday! This trail is taking us to the middle of nowhere!"
"I'm chafing, Max. I'm chafing big-time."
"Didn't I tell you not to wear twenty pounds of black leather in the jungle? Didn't I tell you? Cotton, I said. Cotton breathes."
1: "No, no! It's all right! Ape friend! Ape make your breakfast!"
2: "What does it want? What does it want?"
3: "'It' wants 'its' Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind. Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course."
2: [laughing hysterically] "That is very funny!"
3: [sarcastic] "Ha, ha, ha..."
2: "I thought I heard the monkey talk!"
George
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WordWolf
Taking a shot here...."Thor Ragnarok"?????
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GeorgeStGeorge
There is a character named Thor in this movie, but I don't think Ragnarok had talking apes...
George
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WordWolf
"George of the Jungle"?????
(Or possibly "Lancelot Link"???)
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GeorgeStGeorge
George of the Jungle is correct.
George
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WordWolf
"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
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GeorgeStGeorge
I know I've seen this one. I remember the Viagra joke. Can't think of the situation, though.
George
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WordWolf
"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
"Hey, go easy on that!" "What I'm about to do, I won't want to remember a whole lot of."
"What do you call a cowboy with a sheep under each arm?" "What?" "A playboy!" "What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?" "What?" "You get a piece of @$$ that will bring a tear to your eye." "Why are divorces so expensive?" "Why?" "Because they're worth it!"
Edited by WordWolf.
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GeorgeStGeorge
Caddyshack? (Sound like Dangerfield lines...)
George
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WordWolf
Neither Caddyshack, nor Dangerfield, nor the 80s.
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WordWolf
"Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra?" "No." "He gets taller."
"Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, 'Why don't you watch where you're going.' The drunk says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.'
"Hey, go easy on that!" "What I'm about to do, I won't want to remember a whole lot of."
"What do you call a cowboy with a sheep under each arm?" "What?" "A playboy!" "Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?" "What?" "You get a piece of @$$ that will bring a tear to your eye." "You know why divorces are so expensive?" "Why?" "Because they're worth it!"
"When you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds better than a Plan B."
"I don't know about you, but I'd sure hate to be that safe right about now."
"Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor!"
"She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine."[/b[
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GeorgeStGeorge
Cannonball Run?
George
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WordWolf
No, but you're a lot less far away with that guess. (That was not a clue.)
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GeorgeStGeorge
The Dukes of Hazzard?
George
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WordWolf
Not bad! Correct!
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WordWolf
The jokes were Uncle Jesse with both or one Duke Boy, depending on the scene. Uncle Jesse and one were driving when Jesse drank some moonshine and then did something he didn't want to remember well. That happened at the same time as the series of jokes.
The next 2 quotes were the balladeer/ narrator.
Sheriff Roscoe derived Cooter's ability to repair the General Lee.
Professional racer and former Hazzard resident Billy Prickett boasted to Daisy about how fast his current car could go.
Your turn, George!
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GeorgeStGeorge
The funny thing is that I remember Jackie Mason, years ago, telling the joke, "Why are JEWISH divorces so expensive? They're worth it!"
New one soon.
George
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GeorgeStGeorge
The end title song is Billy Ocean's "When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going". In the music video for the song, the three stars of the film lip-sync and dance as doo-wop backup singers. Because the three stars were not members of the Musicians Union, the video was banned in the UK. Despite this handicap, the song would be Ocean's first #1 UK hit.
The female lead tried to quit this production because she hated the script, but the male lead (who was also the producer) and the studio threatened to sue her, so she relented. As a matter of fact, she was right: The movie opened to poor reviews. Their sparring did not stop them from making yet a third movie together; along with the third co-star, a few years later.
George
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WordWolf
Did Whodini's song "The Freaks Come Out at Night" appear on the soundtrack?
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GeorgeStGeorge
I had to look it up. Yes.
George
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WordWolf
So, you said this was NOT the third movie. I keep confusing 2 and 3. If it's not 3, then it must be
"Romancing the Stone."
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GeorgeStGeorge
No. Note that the "third movie" was not a sequel. It just starred the same three actors.
George
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