I really liked how you explained Santa and the tooth fairy. Fun and truthful all at the same time.
When my kids were tiny, DrtyDzn and I didn't say one way or another about Santa, but they still heard about him, through neighbors, and even Grandma! They were always skeptical children, so I really don't think they ever thought he was real.
When we became vegetarian, we started putting Larabars in their Easter baskets instead of Hershey bars. My son, 16 at the time, said, "I see the Easter bunny has gone vegetarian too." :)
I dunno. I guess I'm on the fence when it comes to Santa and the others. I understand the fun and wonder in a child's life, and how a parent would want that for their own children. But I also understand why a parent wouldn't want to tell their children Santa was real. I guess it would depend on the child, and how the child would react when they found out Santa wasn't real.
I had a hard time with the Santa story because we live in a wealthy area of town - but we ourselves are not wealthy. So, if my kid believed in Santa and thought that this guy prefered her friends over her - well....I just couldn't do it.
Instead I taught about the "Spirit of Santa Claus." I told the story of Saint Nick and said, "Whenever you give without any thought about what you are getting in return - you carry out that spirit of giving and THAT is the spirit of Santa Claus and you keep it alive." That was enough for her. I could still talk of Santa and not be lying.
I guess I'm the dissenter here. I just LOVE the Santa Claus game and don't know any children who are scarred for life because their parents "lied" to them about Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fiary. :( It strikes me as pious, religious overkill - but I'm still bitter from my TWI days, most likely.
It seems like a rite of passage of sorts for children and childhood memories. It's harmless fun, imo, and I think that, as an adult, if I hadn't been able to experience those things, I'd resent my parents for taking that fun time away from me. Kids need to be allowed to be kids - and believing in Santa, writing letters to him and such, are some of the best kid times. *shrug*
I'd also be pretty darn p1ssed if someone ruined that for my kid because they don't do it at their house.
edited to add:
BTW, "Santa" also always put a potato and an onion in our stocking every year to remind us that we hadn't been THAT good all year. We contributed our potatoes and onions toward the makings of Christmas Dinner so that something good came out of it.
Welll...I guess I am the evil one here. I was out two years before my first child was born...so Santa and the tooth fairy were part of my kids' childhood. I read them stories like "Polar Express" and such (BTW the book is much better than the movie - as usual). We put out cookies and milk at fireplace for Santa and left some carrots and apples out for the reindeer. And lo and behold the empty stockings were full in the morning. And to make me even worse I let them hold on to their beliefs until they each figured it out on their own. Those were fun years.
well, having had 1 kid before we left and 1 after, the one before sadly got the cold truth...whether I liked it or not thanks to the fellowship coordinator, so kid number 2 got Santa....at 11 she has figured it out, but loves to play along still.
#1 asked me about it when #2 was a baby...and #1 was great at playing along. One year #1 older brother set up the video camera -- camoflaged and everything -- focus on the fire place xmas eve, to help #2 kid catch him coming down the chimney.
We read "Twas the Night before Christmas," and "Polar Express" and we sing Chrismas songs and drink hot cocoa as we decorate the Christmas tree with ornaments that I add to every year. (I buy one ornament for each child every year so that when they someday have their own tree I can hand them a box of memories that are filled with love.) The most precious ornaments being those made of tape and construction paper by tiny fingers. I try to mark every major event with an ornament - I only need a running shoe ornament to make it all complete - LOL.
I have always been more into the family memories and family traditions. And yes, Christmas morning the lights on the tree go on way, way before anyone is up and the presents seem to magically appear. Its always like the living room has expanded by ten feet in every direction.
BTW - I told my girls that Santa was real - I just didn't let them think that he was the giver of all good things. AND - they knew that each child believed something a little different about Santa.
An aside - one year we had NO money and I mean NONE. I had to use money that was given to me for a present to buy one gift for each child. That year the original Dooj (then six years old, mind you) wanted to buy gifts for a "Santa's Little Angel" - a program in which a family picks a child to give gifts to. We picked a little girl the same age as the Dooj was and went shopping for a coat, shoes, a holiday dress, a doll, and some candy. (A list was provided and we had to fill it.)
She never asked WHY Santa didn't take care of this little girl we came to know as "Angela."
That year I spent more on that one child than I did on each of my own - because that was what the original Dooj wanted.
When I grow up I want to be just like her.....
And the Tooth Fairy STILL makes visits - then gives me the teeth - LOL!
My kids did Santa and the Tooth Fairy too way before we were "in". I'm not ashamed of it, and I'm not so sure I'd call it an outright lie.
I will always remember the time I figured it out. I guess I was about 8 and I was almost sure about the reality of things but I asked my dad. He said the most remarkable thing....he asked me not to spoil it for my brother by spilling the beans (he was about 4 or 5). He said..."there will always be a Santa Clause". It took me a few minutes before that sunk in - but then I realized that there will always be young children who will believe in the myth. That was a comfort to me then.
I'm certianly not "scarred" as an adult over this issue, but I have a vivid memory of the anger and heartbreak I felt when an older playmate announced to me out of the blue that "Santa Claus isn't real." I was 4 or 5 years old. I can still clearly picture standing in her father's woodworking shop in the basement of their house, bathed in harsh fluorescent light, staring at her in disbelief. At first I argued with her. I just couldn't believe it. Then she convinced me, and I was so disappointed.
Belle, you said:
It strikes me as pious, religious overkill - but I'm still bitter from my TWI days, most likely.
Since my son was 5 when I got into twi, my concern about whether to tell him there was a Santa or not had nothing to do with twi or with piety or religious overkill. Having had a bad experience as a child, I was worried about my son feeling likewise lied to and betrayed. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. :)
I ended up weighing the risk that he'd feel betrayed vs. the risk of making him the only freak in kindergarten who didn't believe in Santa and succumbed to my parents' peer pressure to perpetuate the Santa myth. I didn't really have to tell him there was a Santa. Santa was in every department store and all over the TV. I just didn't tell him there wasn't a Santa, and when he started asking questions, I told him something like what Dooj has said. When he asked how Santa could be in all the stores, I told him those were all Santa's helpers, cuz Santa couldn't be everywhere.
To my knowledge, my son has no post-Santa scars. :)
Especially around here, I think, the word myth gets a fairly bad rap. Just because something is a 'myth' doesn't make it any less true than fact. Perhaps, it is even more so.
There was an actual person by the name of "Sinterklaas". For more info, HERE!
I'm just guessing, but if we tried to be more like 'Santa', the world might be a less dreary place to live in (this only because I got the last good woman in the world ) Like Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed, Santa symbolizes man's lofty goals.
I told my oldest child, a girl, that there was no Santa Claus when she was 7. No big deal. Besides, if you allow Santa 5 minutes per house, he's only got time for 72 houses from midnight to 6AM and that's if he doesn't take breaks. Even Santa should get recess.
He has to be real. North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) tracks him every year. See the following links. The first is the splash page and the second is how they track santa with search radars and satellites. For some reason boys (and some of us who have no intention of growing up) love this site.
I was crushed when I found out there was no Santa Claus. (I was 5, and my big sister was mad at me, so told me as a way to get even and win the fight). I promptly told her that could not be true because our parents would never LIE to us. When I asked them, they admitted she was right, and I was heartbroken and very distrustful of them for a while.
Never wanting my children to experience that, I told them the "Story of Santa Claus" from their first Christmas. When they got to be about 3, they would tell me, "Mommy, it is not a story, it is true!" and I would say something about how it was fine for them to believe that. When they finally did learn the truth, they had enjoyed several years of the magic, but were not upset with me for lying to them. When they found out, they asked me something like, "Mommy, Santa really is a story isn't it?". I responded something like, Yes, but isn't it a wonderful story?
We still talk about the "Story of Santa Claus" around here, and enjoy the presents under the tree.
He has to be real. North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) tracks him every year. See the following links. The first is the splash page and the second is how they track santa with search radars and satellites. For some reason boys (and some of us who have no intention of growing up) love this site.
I already talked about this, more than once, most recently HERE.
I can add that it was easy to tell my girls that Santa was real (and we were "in" at the time) because they had met him! A wonderful man named Joe Greenawalt did the Santa thing in Scottsdale in the early 80's, and would come to our house for a personal visit one or two days before Christmas! He went around all year with a snow-white beard and candycanes in his pocket, "made from real reindeer milk."
The Way guilt in me would mostly qualify the story to my girls by saying, "We say that Santa..." whenever the girls would ask for stories about him, and lots of "I don't know..."s when they were too young yet to figure it out. Eventually, they told me when they knew.
I hope those of you who are thinking about sustaining this tradition for children or grandchildren can understand that this not about LYING, but about PRETENDING, which is something essential that children do as part of learning about bigger issues. If you can enter into it in the essence of play, you might just learn something important, too!
When Aaron, my older son was born, we were very into TWI. We didn't want to lie so we never played the santa game. Instead we told him santa wasn't real. Then he went to pre-school and low and behold, come Christmas, Santa came to his class and gave him a present. Aaron came home and confronted me. He told me I was a liar and there was too a Santa. :blink:
I don't think it matters which way you go with Santa. You do what seems best to you and your child will be fine either way.
Please let me clarify. When I hear someone say they just can't bear to "lie" to their children by telling them that there is a Santa Claus and presenting presents from him, I cringe internally. I remember all too well the rantings and yelling by craiggers that it's 'lying' to your kids and how the he11 are they going to believe anything you tell them, when they find out you've been lying to them. The scarring kids for life comment comes from those rantings.
I think a way-brain switch goes off in my head when people say they don't want to "lie" to their kids about Santa. I also know some parents who use that 'lying' line but have no qualms about lying to their children about other things all the time. <_<
I feel sorry for the children I know from TWI who grew up with no Santa Claus, no Christmas Carols, none of the 'magic' of traditional Christmas customs. They were expected to be little adults and, as kids, it fostered an attitude of superiority because they (the kids) weren't 'deceived' like those egg-sucking unbelievers.
The devout Jewish folks I know don't/didn't have Santa in their house, but their parents raised them to see Santa as a "Christian aspect of Christmas" and the parents didn't tell their kids there was no Santa so as to not ruin it for the children who DO believe. Because of the excitement of their own celebrations, the children didn't feel as though they were missing out, either.
I love reading your stories and, obviously as parents, you know what's best for your own families. :) I know it's my own brain that has 'issues' and I certainly didn't mean to offend any of you. Shaz, I see it as 'play' and a great exercise in imagination.... for the adults as well as the kids.
Rummy, way back in the dark ages before there were computers, we tracked Santa on the local TV station growing up. It was also, Dooj, used to tell us when to go to bed.
From the very beginning back in 85 when our daughter was born, we simply decided that weren't going to tell them anything that was not true. And so, we told our daughter and then each son as they came along that Santa was not real, and that all the fat guys in red costumes were fakers. And we had the most fun pointing out to them the fakers as they showed themselves at the various malls, and etc. And, the kids delighted in themselves to know the inside story on Santa.
Same with the tooth fairy. Instead, we told them that there was a "Tooth Daddy"', because "we don't have no fairies running around our house at night". And so, I told the kids that if they put a tooth under their pillows at night, the Tooth Daddy would come and leave them some money in exchange for the teeth. And, at night, I'd write them a letter, put it in an envelope along with some cash, and the letter would say something like; "I love you Meagan, and I am so proud of you! Thanks for the tooth! Signed, The Tooth Daddy!" And it has been our tradition ever since. And the kids now (thanks to their Mom), have these letters stored for them when they are older as keepsakes.
And, one time around Easter when our daughter was five, she asked the little neighbor girl (also five) if she knew who Jesus Christ was, and the little girl replied brightly; "Sure! He's the Easter bunny, right?" Our daughter just laughed and told her that no, he's the son of God.
I too remember feeling betrayed when I was thirteen or so when I discovered it all was not true when it came to Santa et al. And so, we did what we did, and the kids certainly do not feel cheated about it, nor are they scarred for life by being deprived. They do love the True Life story of how Jesus Christ will come back one day and take us all on a "Hallelujiah Ride" though... :)
We did the "Santa Thing" with our daughter. It was as much for social reasons as for anything else (all the other kids believing in Santa, all the "Santa" displays, "Santa pictures" and so on). We never actually came out and said it, but we did it.
As she started to get older, she would, of course, try to stay up so as to bust Santa depositing gifts. Then she would try to stay up so to bust us pretending we were Santa. Then it finally came out: "There is no Santa Claus, is there?"
At that time we explained the story of St. Nicholaus to her: that in ancient Turkey, the bishop of Myra used to sneak around and give gifts to the poor people of the area...nobody knew it was him for years until, one day, one of his beneficiaries caught him in the act. We reminded her about back in the days when we lived in Italy that St. Nicholaus would come on December 6th (his memorial day) to distribute candy to all the children in our town. From St. Nicolaus, the spirit of Santa Claus was born.
We told her that we still believe in the spirit of Santa Claus. We also promised her that as long as she continued to believe in the spirit of Santa Claus that she would continue to receive gifts from Santa Claus. But that when she stopped believing in Santa Claus that she would then see gifts from her mother and father.
Well, it's been a few years since that time, but our daughter definitely believes in Santa Claus to this day. Of course, she doesn't leave milk and cookies and she doesn't see the "Santa gifts" under the tree any more; but she has figured out the joy of seeing a recipient's face light up when an unexpected gift comes. So she's figured out that it's far more rewarding to be Santa Claus than to get from Santa Claus.
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VeganXTC
I really liked how you explained Santa and the tooth fairy. Fun and truthful all at the same time.
When my kids were tiny, DrtyDzn and I didn't say one way or another about Santa, but they still heard about him, through neighbors, and even Grandma! They were always skeptical children, so I really don't think they ever thought he was real.
When we became vegetarian, we started putting Larabars in their Easter baskets instead of Hershey bars. My son, 16 at the time, said, "I see the Easter bunny has gone vegetarian too." :)
I dunno. I guess I'm on the fence when it comes to Santa and the others. I understand the fun and wonder in a child's life, and how a parent would want that for their own children. But I also understand why a parent wouldn't want to tell their children Santa was real. I guess it would depend on the child, and how the child would react when they found out Santa wasn't real.
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doojable
I had a hard time with the Santa story because we live in a wealthy area of town - but we ourselves are not wealthy. So, if my kid believed in Santa and thought that this guy prefered her friends over her - well....I just couldn't do it.
Instead I taught about the "Spirit of Santa Claus." I told the story of Saint Nick and said, "Whenever you give without any thought about what you are getting in return - you carry out that spirit of giving and THAT is the spirit of Santa Claus and you keep it alive." That was enough for her. I could still talk of Santa and not be lying.
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Belle
I guess I'm the dissenter here. I just LOVE the Santa Claus game and don't know any children who are scarred for life because their parents "lied" to them about Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fiary. :( It strikes me as pious, religious overkill - but I'm still bitter from my TWI days, most likely.
It seems like a rite of passage of sorts for children and childhood memories. It's harmless fun, imo, and I think that, as an adult, if I hadn't been able to experience those things, I'd resent my parents for taking that fun time away from me. Kids need to be allowed to be kids - and believing in Santa, writing letters to him and such, are some of the best kid times. *shrug*
I'd also be pretty darn p1ssed if someone ruined that for my kid because they don't do it at their house.
edited to add:
BTW, "Santa" also always put a potato and an onion in our stocking every year to remind us that we hadn't been THAT good all year.
We contributed our potatoes and onions toward the makings of Christmas Dinner so that something good came out of it. 
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RumRunner
Welll...I guess I am the evil one here. I was out two years before my first child was born...so Santa and the tooth fairy were part of my kids' childhood. I read them stories like "Polar Express" and such (BTW the book is much better than the movie - as usual). We put out cookies and milk at fireplace for Santa and left some carrots and apples out for the reindeer. And lo and behold the empty stockings were full in the morning. And to make me even worse I let them hold on to their beliefs until they each figured it out on their own. Those were fun years.
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coolchef
belle i agree with you who ever met a scarred adult because of the santa myth?
it's fun and what do you mean it's a myth? i think i like to think he is real if only in your heart
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washingtonweather
well, having had 1 kid before we left and 1 after, the one before sadly got the cold truth...whether I liked it or not thanks to the fellowship coordinator, so kid number 2 got Santa....at 11 she has figured it out, but loves to play along still.
#1 asked me about it when #2 was a baby...and #1 was great at playing along. One year #1 older brother set up the video camera -- camoflaged and everything -- focus on the fire place xmas eve, to help #2 kid catch him coming down the chimney.
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doojable
Ok - where did the word "scar" come from?
We read "Twas the Night before Christmas," and "Polar Express" and we sing Chrismas songs and drink hot cocoa as we decorate the Christmas tree with ornaments that I add to every year. (I buy one ornament for each child every year so that when they someday have their own tree I can hand them a box of memories that are filled with love.) The most precious ornaments being those made of tape and construction paper by tiny fingers. I try to mark every major event with an ornament - I only need a running shoe ornament to make it all complete - LOL.
I have always been more into the family memories and family traditions. And yes, Christmas morning the lights on the tree go on way, way before anyone is up and the presents seem to magically appear. Its always like the living room has expanded by ten feet in every direction.
BTW - I told my girls that Santa was real - I just didn't let them think that he was the giver of all good things. AND - they knew that each child believed something a little different about Santa.
An aside - one year we had NO money and I mean NONE. I had to use money that was given to me for a present to buy one gift for each child. That year the original Dooj (then six years old, mind you) wanted to buy gifts for a "Santa's Little Angel" - a program in which a family picks a child to give gifts to. We picked a little girl the same age as the Dooj was and went shopping for a coat, shoes, a holiday dress, a doll, and some candy. (A list was provided and we had to fill it.)
She never asked WHY Santa didn't take care of this little girl we came to know as "Angela."
That year I spent more on that one child than I did on each of my own - because that was what the original Dooj wanted.
When I grow up I want to be just like her.....
And the Tooth Fairy STILL makes visits - then gives me the teeth - LOL!
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krys
My kids did Santa and the Tooth Fairy too way before we were "in". I'm not ashamed of it, and I'm not so sure I'd call it an outright lie.
I will always remember the time I figured it out. I guess I was about 8 and I was almost sure about the reality of things but I asked my dad. He said the most remarkable thing....he asked me not to spoil it for my brother by spilling the beans (he was about 4 or 5). He said..."there will always be a Santa Clause". It took me a few minutes before that sunk in - but then I realized that there will always be young children who will believe in the myth. That was a comfort to me then.
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Linda Z
I'm certianly not "scarred" as an adult over this issue, but I have a vivid memory of the anger and heartbreak I felt when an older playmate announced to me out of the blue that "Santa Claus isn't real." I was 4 or 5 years old. I can still clearly picture standing in her father's woodworking shop in the basement of their house, bathed in harsh fluorescent light, staring at her in disbelief. At first I argued with her. I just couldn't believe it. Then she convinced me, and I was so disappointed.
Belle, you said:
Since my son was 5 when I got into twi, my concern about whether to tell him there was a Santa or not had nothing to do with twi or with piety or religious overkill. Having had a bad experience as a child, I was worried about my son feeling likewise lied to and betrayed. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. :)
I ended up weighing the risk that he'd feel betrayed vs. the risk of making him the only freak in kindergarten who didn't believe in Santa and succumbed to my parents' peer pressure to perpetuate the Santa myth. I didn't really have to tell him there was a Santa. Santa was in every department store and all over the TV. I just didn't tell him there wasn't a Santa, and when he started asking questions, I told him something like what Dooj has said. When he asked how Santa could be in all the stores, I told him those were all Santa's helpers, cuz Santa couldn't be everywhere.
To my knowledge, my son has no post-Santa scars. :)
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Sushi
Especially around here, I think, the word myth gets a fairly bad rap. Just because something is a 'myth' doesn't make it any less true than fact. Perhaps, it is even more so.
There was an actual person by the name of "Sinterklaas". For more info, HERE!
I'm just guessing, but if we tried to be more like 'Santa', the world might be a less dreary place to live in (this only because I got the last good woman in the world
) Like Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed, Santa symbolizes man's lofty goals.
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johniam
I told my oldest child, a girl, that there was no Santa Claus when she was 7. No big deal. Besides, if you allow Santa 5 minutes per house, he's only got time for 72 houses from midnight to 6AM and that's if he doesn't take breaks. Even Santa should get recess.
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RumRunner
He has to be real. North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) tracks him every year. See the following links. The first is the splash page and the second is how they track santa with search radars and satellites. For some reason boys (and some of us who have no intention of growing up) love this site.
http://www.noradsanta.org/index.php
http://www.noradsanta.org/en/how_we_do_it.php
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waysider
Yes,Virginia, there is a Santa Clause.
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RumRunner
Perfect Waysider - havent thought of that in years - thank
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Suda
I was crushed when I found out there was no Santa Claus. (I was 5, and my big sister was mad at me, so told me as a way to get even and win the fight). I promptly told her that could not be true because our parents would never LIE to us. When I asked them, they admitted she was right, and I was heartbroken and very distrustful of them for a while.
Never wanting my children to experience that, I told them the "Story of Santa Claus" from their first Christmas. When they got to be about 3, they would tell me, "Mommy, it is not a story, it is true!" and I would say something about how it was fine for them to believe that. When they finally did learn the truth, they had enjoyed several years of the magic, but were not upset with me for lying to them. When they found out, they asked me something like, "Mommy, Santa really is a story isn't it?". I responded something like, Yes, but isn't it a wonderful story?
We still talk about the "Story of Santa Claus" around here, and enjoy the presents under the tree.
Suda
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doojable
We stay up every year and track Santa on our computer. We even tell the girls when its time to got to bed according to his position in the sky.
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shazdancer
I already talked about this, more than once, most recently HERE.
I can add that it was easy to tell my girls that Santa was real (and we were "in" at the time) because they had met him! A wonderful man named Joe Greenawalt did the Santa thing in Scottsdale in the early 80's, and would come to our house for a personal visit one or two days before Christmas! He went around all year with a snow-white beard and candycanes in his pocket, "made from real reindeer milk."
The Way guilt in me would mostly qualify the story to my girls by saying, "We say that Santa..." whenever the girls would ask for stories about him, and lots of "I don't know..."s when they were too young yet to figure it out. Eventually, they told me when they knew.
I hope those of you who are thinking about sustaining this tradition for children or grandchildren can understand that this not about LYING, but about PRETENDING, which is something essential that children do as part of learning about bigger issues. If you can enter into it in the essence of play, you might just learn something important, too!
Merry Christmas,
Shaz
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doojable
I've been known to call it "the willing suspension of disbelief."
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shazdancer
That's what play is, dooj.
Thanks for understanding,
Shaz
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doojable
No problem Shaz - I'm a firm believer in telling kids to play
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Abigail
My favorte Santa story.
When Aaron, my older son was born, we were very into TWI. We didn't want to lie so we never played the santa game. Instead we told him santa wasn't real. Then he went to pre-school and low and behold, come Christmas, Santa came to his class and gave him a present. Aaron came home and confronted me. He told me I was a liar and there was too a Santa. :blink:
I don't think it matters which way you go with Santa. You do what seems best to you and your child will be fine either way.
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Belle
Please let me clarify. When I hear someone say they just can't bear to "lie" to their children by telling them that there is a Santa Claus and presenting presents from him, I cringe internally. I remember all too well the rantings and yelling by craiggers that it's 'lying' to your kids and how the he11 are they going to believe anything you tell them, when they find out you've been lying to them. The scarring kids for life comment comes from those rantings.
I think a way-brain switch goes off in my head when people say they don't want to "lie" to their kids about Santa. I also know some parents who use that 'lying' line but have no qualms about lying to their children about other things all the time. <_<
I feel sorry for the children I know from TWI who grew up with no Santa Claus, no Christmas Carols, none of the 'magic' of traditional Christmas customs. They were expected to be little adults and, as kids, it fostered an attitude of superiority because they (the kids) weren't 'deceived' like those egg-sucking unbelievers.
The devout Jewish folks I know don't/didn't have Santa in their house, but their parents raised them to see Santa as a "Christian aspect of Christmas" and the parents didn't tell their kids there was no Santa so as to not ruin it for the children who DO believe. Because of the excitement of their own celebrations, the children didn't feel as though they were missing out, either.
I love reading your stories and, obviously as parents, you know what's best for your own families. :) I know it's my own brain that has 'issues'
and I certainly didn't mean to offend any of you. Shaz, I see it as 'play' and a great exercise in imagination.... for the adults as well as the kids.
Rummy, way back in the dark ages before there were computers, we tracked Santa on the local TV station growing up. It was also, Dooj, used to tell us when to go to bed.
Love it, Abigail!!
Priceless!
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J0nny Ling0
From the very beginning back in 85 when our daughter was born, we simply decided that weren't going to tell them anything that was not true. And so, we told our daughter and then each son as they came along that Santa was not real, and that all the fat guys in red costumes were fakers. And we had the most fun pointing out to them the fakers as they showed themselves at the various malls, and etc. And, the kids delighted in themselves to know the inside story on Santa.
Same with the tooth fairy. Instead, we told them that there was a "Tooth Daddy"', because "we don't have no fairies running around our house at night". And so, I told the kids that if they put a tooth under their pillows at night, the Tooth Daddy would come and leave them some money in exchange for the teeth. And, at night, I'd write them a letter, put it in an envelope along with some cash, and the letter would say something like; "I love you Meagan, and I am so proud of you! Thanks for the tooth! Signed, The Tooth Daddy!" And it has been our tradition ever since. And the kids now (thanks to their Mom), have these letters stored for them when they are older as keepsakes.
And, one time around Easter when our daughter was five, she asked the little neighbor girl (also five) if she knew who Jesus Christ was, and the little girl replied brightly; "Sure! He's the Easter bunny, right?" Our daughter just laughed and told her that no, he's the son of God.
I too remember feeling betrayed when I was thirteen or so when I discovered it all was not true when it came to Santa et al. And so, we did what we did, and the kids certainly do not feel cheated about it, nor are they scarred for life by being deprived. They do love the True Life story of how Jesus Christ will come back one day and take us all on a "Hallelujiah Ride" though... :)
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markomalley
We did the "Santa Thing" with our daughter. It was as much for social reasons as for anything else (all the other kids believing in Santa, all the "Santa" displays, "Santa pictures" and so on). We never actually came out and said it, but we did it.
As she started to get older, she would, of course, try to stay up so as to bust Santa depositing gifts. Then she would try to stay up so to bust us pretending we were Santa. Then it finally came out: "There is no Santa Claus, is there?"
At that time we explained the story of St. Nicholaus to her: that in ancient Turkey, the bishop of Myra used to sneak around and give gifts to the poor people of the area...nobody knew it was him for years until, one day, one of his beneficiaries caught him in the act. We reminded her about back in the days when we lived in Italy that St. Nicholaus would come on December 6th (his memorial day) to distribute candy to all the children in our town. From St. Nicolaus, the spirit of Santa Claus was born.
We told her that we still believe in the spirit of Santa Claus. We also promised her that as long as she continued to believe in the spirit of Santa Claus that she would continue to receive gifts from Santa Claus. But that when she stopped believing in Santa Claus that she would then see gifts from her mother and father.
Well, it's been a few years since that time, but our daughter definitely believes in Santa Claus to this day. Of course, she doesn't leave milk and cookies and she doesn't see the "Santa gifts" under the tree any more; but she has figured out the joy of seeing a recipient's face light up when an unexpected gift comes. So she's figured out that it's far more rewarding to be Santa Claus than to get from Santa Claus.
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