Self-awareness

[T-Bone]

Alright...since we're all being so open and honest in this lovey dovey koom-by-yah session...I've gotta say...my absolutely favorite line in Sir Todd's prose is

...we are stains on the walls of each other's souls whether we like it or not...

[T-Bone]

Based upon the truth that the real you is the Christ in you...

What gives you that idea? What about someone who is not a Christian – who is the real him or her? And before Christ…let’s see…Moses – who was the real Moses?

[T-Bone]

...Somewhere along the way I remember being taught (or it was insinuated strongly) that there was no such thing as intuition and it was just a cover for devil spirit possession. That pretty much snuffs out self awareness.

A practice: Rote memorization of scripture for problem solving, like one size fits all. I'm all for meaningful memorization (if that is what meets the need for that situation for that individual.) Scripture memorization has helped/aided/healed me, but it was because of a heart understanding and God's spirit within showing me how that scripture applied to my circumstance, heart, emotion, etc. TWI did teach to look at the context of the scripture as written in the Bible (well their context), but fell short (supressing, impeding, hindering) in allowing God to work within an individual's context of life...to work out his/her own salvation with reverence, awe, and trembling.

Excellent points, Bagpipes! It’s pathetic – and almost laughable when I think back on how my TWI-brain dealt with situations by such a handicapped…restrained…hog-tied… – process. As you indicated TWI had a one-size-fits-all approach to stuff. Instead of being a catalyst for people to engage their own mental resources TWI’s doctrines and programs were more like a neutralizing agent – rendering true personhood ineffective. Instead of doing things my way [or trying to figure out what my way was] I did it their way…I know this kind of stuff like suppression of the self, identity, etc. - has been handled before on other threads but it’s fun to go over this stuff again…It‘s fun for me anyway…

I can post the emotions and distortions lists if you want me to.

By all means - please do!

Edited December 9, 2006 by T-Bone

[Sushi]

I liked the tidbit Sushi used to have on his posts. It goes something like: The lessons are repeated until they are learned. It is so true.

Just to let you know, Notta, it never left.

The sentence is from "If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules", by Doctor (an actual PHD) Cherie Carter Scott. It is part of the "Ten Rules For Being Human". One of the things I like about the book is, it gives one a framework to live one's life by, without the religious overlay. For some who have given up on the 'search for God' it is a breath of fresh air.

The way I see it, I searched for 'Him' once, now it's HIS turn .

[potato]

Based upon the truth that the real you is the Christ in you

oldiesman, that is something TWI asserted, yes.

however, I am most assuredly real in every category, as is everyone else I meet (christian or not) and your assertion above is contradictory to the TWI doctrine of the threefold man, which I like better. it at least makes some scriptural sense... so... the body is real. the soul (mind and heart) is real. the spirit (christ in you) is real.

your quote traces its roots back to a TWI doctrinal teaching on the levels of body/soul/spirit, that body should be at the bottom of the hierarchy and spirit at the top, which further led to an attitude of elitism and superiority that somehow shines forth from your statements.

reading the bible, I've never seen anywhere where God said don't use your mind, that it's not real and you can't trust your experience and ability to think. from what I remember, and I don't have time to crack open my bible right now, the verses that state you should cast down imaginations etc. have to do with a humbe attitude (which self-awareness definitely does not preclude) and those about subjugating the flesh are just common sense instructions (and also don't preclude self-awareness). in order to change habits, you have to actively think and compare and decide to change. if I was mean or lied or made bad decisions before, it takes active thought to change that, not just a denial of self.

the real me is the one I'm finding while stripping off the false doctrines of TWI and bringing the different parts they taught me to deny back into balance with one another.

[polar bear]

Totally agree=The underlying premise of TWI is to do all the thinking for you. We will tell you what to do, how to think, and keep you so busy you won't have time to think for yourself.

I really believe the leadership at HQ spend most of their time, (because they have nothing elso to do) figuring out how to keep their people busy. I know this because I worked there for awhile and heard this phrase used many times. People learning how to think for themselves?? WOW! I have to try that. LOL>

One of the things that helped me get my logic straigtened out on this was to read Emerson-he was a real thinker. He wasn't the "follow the crowd kind of guy". He spoke up against the evils of religion. In one sense he is my hero.

I think I will keep the singing to myself. but hats off to all of us who now think for ourselves!

Edited December 9, 2006 by polar bear

[Nottawayfer]

The way I see it, I searched for 'Him' once, now it's HIS turn .

That statement hit me upside the head Sushi. Maybe you might think not much will come from that, but I think He will surprise you really big some day, and it may be when you least expect it.

[waterbuffalo]

WaterBuffalo – I usually read 2 or 3 books at a time…I’m not an intellectual – just a slow reader/learner that gets bored and jumps back and forth from book to book .

I do the same thing. Get outta here!

[sirguessalot]

dear t, i love what you wrote. since i was little enough to have "thought" i have always felt there was a deeper "spiritual" perhaps ? part of me observing life.....

i told my mom about my search when i was quite young.... how absolutely sure i was of something more in this life. she said, "honey you're searching for something that's in your own backyard....." i thought she was wrong. now i wonder.... like you said on the other thread about the journey of going home.....

dear e,

yeah...the home we never left in the first place

simply witnessing "it" is nothing more than a pure remembering of what always is, was and ever will be

'going to heaven' seems more like throwing a ball up in the air and then trying to catch "it"

which is a part of the terrifying aspect of God

i suppose

simply finding that

and noticing it

is really just a flicker of an eye

that sees something we've always known all along

and have simply forgetten

i dunno

still seems pretty weird to me to say such things

but i cant help see "it" in scripture

...all scripture

how we most naturaly come to fear the very ground of awareness we have always walked on

we begin as "it" (self awareness)

and are most naturally born thinking we are drowning in "it"...often screaming bloody murder

and spend the span of our life swimming through "its" stages...resting often

at "its" peak

it is said its like the frothy edge of an ocean of infinite space and radical openness

empty of will and thought and matter

that just keeps on holding everything

like a mother brooding on the face of the deep

and we are buried in nestled layers of "it"

strange, i think

God, in this old old sense...is truly strange and mysterious

beyond words..as the book says

and our creative edge is like a flame in space

and this is the face of the infinite child in us

the one who will look at anything

and sees without prejudice

in one sense...there is no father God

just good ole boys who think magic wands do all the work of creating the flaming edge of newness in Christ

the spark of awareness

that came from grace

which is always a mother's space

[excathedra]

and this is the face of the infinite child in us

i believe that

the spark of awareness

that came from grace

which is always a mother's space

makes me cry

[sirguessalot]

such 'holy remembrance' makes us cry, i think, sista e

a whole nuther layer of the notion that "truth hurts"

which opens so many new and wonderful things

in us

for all of us

can you imagine if all more of the hillbillies who are at war would sit down and have such a dream?

some day they will

as they have in the past

and we'll be there

i am sure of it

til then

i think it suffices to say

that jesus and buddha agree on self awareness

that at the foot of it all

is a bloody red place

and the condition of the one who opens all the seals on the book of life

is the same as the first noble truth

and we should never forget the first lesson

or all other later higher lessons will not be as lessons at all

but curses, mostly

this is the hard truth

that make grown men cry

or should

not for guilt

but because crying is not a shame

and heals many things

the feeling of humiliation is holy and healing

in this gateway to greater self-awareness

burns us to cinders becaue we finally realize what a fool we are

and how that is ok...we know we are being held...always

losing is as good as winning

and winning is as good as losing

so breathe

....which is perhaps why such lessons are saved for when one is in or near the door of death

or the nature of the world stories that are told in winter, and our darkest hours together

let us speak of the darkness

and let us speak of the truer sparkly gifts we have prepared for this time

and remind our selves

how in a deep sense...

how almighty God is fully aware of us

and we are always seen

and all shall be well

so go play as a child

but a child who is wise as a serpent

and harmless as a dove

can you imagine what might happen if more today were aware of such impossible things?

Edited December 9, 2006 by sirguessalot

[frickafrack]

i've gotten back home....for a brief powerful moment

it was being tucked in by mom and dad...i'd guess i was about 4 maybe 5 years old

i was a "special" kid.....but the lies to protect wound up as a deeper wound

similar truth in my marriage/relationships....don't lie to me or keep secrets and we cool

and here i am again, willing to spend energy that i might not have, in order to see a smile and feel a heart

guess it's my turn to tuck someone in and not expect someone to tuck me in nightly......:(

i'm starting to wish the power of jesus (or any other qualified savior/god/goddess) would posess me and bring those things i've longed for but have failed at predictably

i do love life and people, but i have no idea how to get myself and everyone else there

music is a decent start...it's my native language, i'm sure of that, it's all i've got that is truely of GOD

[T-Bone]

music is a decent start...it's my native language, i'm sure of that, it's all i've got that is truely of GOD

Doing okay, FrickaFrack?...What music do you have that's good for the soul right now?

Edited December 10, 2006 by T-Bone

[I Love Bagpipes]

Sirguess's last post brought "play" to my mind. One activity I enjoy is simply observing kids (ages 2 to around 7) absorbed in unstructured/self structured play. When my children were young, I could sit and watch as long as they could play. It had a deep, calming effect on me. They were creative, fabricating villages around the house/yard and dialoguing back and forth with their dinosaurs or washcloths or whatever thing they decided to animate.

Anyway, thoughts of play brought to mind something I posted a while back. It is from my journaling, from April, 2003. It is thoughts about play:

"Learning to play again is foundational to experiencing the fullness of life.

What is play? Freedom. Freedom of expression. Freedom of movement. Freedom of thought. Swings and creeks. Daisies. Bracelets in the sun.

Play has no time boundaries. Play has no schedule. Play flows and ripples like a creek with various dips, turns, waterfalls, and rate of flow. Sometimes it flows quickly and then gently slows into a quiet, relaxing swimming hole. Continue down the creek and the flow picks up speed again. Play is not stagnant. Play is open to unlimited possibilities.

Play is a child's work, a child's occupation. It is a child's calling and vocation. Play develops neural circuitry within that child's system that is crucial to the mental, emotional, and physical health and wellness of that child. I believe in nuerogenesis. Maybe then...as I learn to play again, my system will respond with the genesis of youthful, exurberent, fresh, joyous, satisfied, stimulating, flexible, intuitive neural circuitry.

My....play is a deep subject."

End entry.

I think I'll bring that thread up. It's in "Open."

T-bone, sorry about the typos and lay out of my post about the journaling/thought/self-analysis "exercise." I was in a little mountain town using the library internet. My time ran out and folks were waiting to use the puter. I knew my time was running out so I hit "add reply" and blink!....off went the puter. Alas I wasn't at a puter until the next day and was unable to "clean up" my post. :) I'll post the distortions and emotions lists sometime this week. :)

[I Love Bagpipes]

Okay T-bone, you asked for the "distortions" list.

You will recognize some of these from Burns' book. This is a compilation of his work and two other authors and they overlap. Two of the books contain samples of ways to change self talk to help change thinking patterns...which in turn help change neural circuitry...which all helps with self awareness. (Round and round and round we go!!!!!! weee!!!!!!!!!)

Excuse any typos. :)

Distortions

All-or nothing thinking/"alwyas/never" thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. Thinking in words like always, never, no one, everyone, every time, everything.

Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

Mental Filter/Focusing on the negative: You dwell on the negatives seeing only the bad in the situation, ignoring the positives.

Discounting the postive: You insist your accomplishments or positive qualities "don't count."

Mind Reading: Believing that you know what others are thinking, even though they haven't told you or you have no evidence of what they are thinking.

Fortune Telling: Prediciting the worst possible outcome to a situation, arbitrarily predicting that things will turn out bad.

Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importnce inappropriately.

Emotional Reasoning/Thinking with your Feelings: Your reason from how you feel, believing negative feelings without ever questioning them: "I feel like an idiot, so I must be one."

Guilt beating/"Should Statements"/Demands: You criticize yourself or other people with "shoulds, shouldn'ts, oughts, musts, have tos."

Labeling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or someone else.

Personalization/Blaming: Investing innocuous events with personal meaning. You blame yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that your own attitudes and behavior might contribute to a problem.

I'll post the sample ways to change self talk next....maybe... ;)

[I Love Bagpipes]

Now for the "changing self talk" examples...... (I will get to the emotions list T-bone). :)

I can't figure out how to set up columns on this here screen, so I'll use abbreviations as thus:

ANT = Atomatic negative thought or negative self talk

Sp = Species of ANT or distortion

KtA = Kill the ANT or better self talk (The book states "postive" self talk, but the word "postive" has a negative connotaion to me, so I seldom use that word. )

For each ANT listed there is a counter KtA. These are simply examples.

ANT: You never listen to me. / I will always feel sad, miserable, lonely. / I will never succeed, achieve, be fulfilled.

Sp: Always/Never thinking

KtA: I get frustrated when you don't listen to me, but I now you have listened to me and will again. / These feelings will pass. / Things can change; many things are possible.

ANT: The boss doesn't like me. / S/he, they can perceive my inner tension, anxiety, nervousness.

Sp: Mind Reading

KtA: I don't know that. Maybe she's just having a bad day. Bosses are people too. / Others rarely notice or concern themselves with with my inner state.

ANT: The whole class will laugh at me.

Sp: Fortune telling

KtA: I don't know that. Maybe they'll really like my speech.

ANT: I'm stupid, dumb, a jerk, a loser...etc.

Sp: Labeling

KtA: Sometime I do things that aren't too smart, but I'm not stupid.

ANT: I, he, you should, must.......

Sp: Demands/guilt beating

KtA: I would like, prefer.......

ANT: I can't believe..... I can't understand.....

Sp: Denial (which is not listed in the distortions list)

KtA: It did happen. I can understand.

ANT: This is awful, horrible, unbearable...

Sp: Overreacting/magnification (the opposite would be minimization)

KtA: This is unforunate. How will it look in 5 years?

A little story: About 5 years ago, my pyschologist had me eliminate the word "should" from my vocabulary; I suffered from unrelenting standards and therefore engaged in internal flaggelation regularly. (Hmm...wonder where (at least partly) I learned that? ) I eliminated the word for about 2 or so years; it really helped me. :)

Edited December 15, 2006 by I Love Bagpipes

[T-Bone]

...Relationships with the people I love, and who love me are the biggest priority in my life. And I think "self-awareness" allows us to give the greatest gift we can give, in those relationships........ourselves, heart and soul...

There's a lot of wisdom in that…thanks, Ex10 – I've been mulling over your post for awhile…I know it sounds kinda hokey – [and I'm probably butchering some of the details from my faulty memory] but I liked an analogy Stephen Covey used in Seven Habits of Highly Successful People talking about a genuine commerce between hearts – only when we have made genuine deposits into the other person's emotional bank account will a relationship develop and even allow withdrawals [drawing on emotional support] when needed. A give and take process.

Thanks for posting all that stuff, Bagpipes. I love all that cognitive therapy stuff. Those cognitive distortions can do a real number on one's reasoning skills and trying to assess a situation. TWI has got these manipulative tools down to a science!

Edited December 20, 2006 by T-Bone

[potato]

...I liked an analogy Stephen Covey used in Seven Habits of Highly Successful People talking about a genuine commerce between hearts – only when we have made genuine deposits into the other person's emotional bank account will a relationship develop and even allow withdrawals [drawing on emotional support] when needed. A give and take process.

wow, that's cool. I never read that... but that makes total sense and explains why my former marriage sucked me dry and why my association with twi felt empty after a while. both parties overdrew their accounts to a shocking degree.

[washingtonweather]

I like to write but never seems to e able to find time...sleeping at 9:30 is preferable to staying up (raising kids and getting a bachelor's and working and now working n a Master's i just too much---it would become a should thing),,,but I do do 1 thing faithfully.

I have a notebook I keep with the Christmas decorations. I get it out and on New Years, my husband and I write down the milestones, the thoughts changes, even financial changes...goals reached from the previous year and new goals...and other things....

[T-Bone]

Potato, I’m a little fuzzy on this – and will have to review his book again but I think Covey stresses a genuine commerce of hearts only happens with genuine deposits of value – like love, respect, etc. If I deposit counterfeit money in your account – it’s really a bankrupt account! There’s nothing for me to draw upon. Now some of this is me elaborating on Covey’s ideas [or maybe it’s the Alzheimer’s talking :blink: ] – anyway…we’ve all come across shallow relationships – a commerce of hearts using counterfeit currency – flattery, faking sincerity or interest, giving to get, etc. I’m not a sociologist – but maybe there’s some type of fair-rate-of-exchange in relationships like in the business world. Person A is not really giving anything of value to person B. Person B – wanting to keep up appearances gives something back to person A in exchange for what they got – both swapping things of equal but essentially worthless value.

…Maybe that’s some of why this self-awareness intrigues me. Thinking along the lines of Ex10’s post, I have this idea of me looking inward…getting a sense of who I really am…that is genuine…that has great value…that’s a great gift to share with someone else.

WashingtonWeather – what is your Master’s in?

[I Love Bagpipes]

Neat stuff...this is...to moi. :)

I may have to bring up Heartmath again T-bone. Did you ever check it out? Okay if you didn't, but maybe sometime before you turn 97 you might look into it. By then I'm sure there will be much more scientific data explaining vibes, intuition, energy fields, etc.

(Potato if you have interest in this stuff: www.heartmath.org You have to register, but it is free. Lots of cool research in the field of "vibes", so to speak.)

Okay, now to finish the laborious journaling exercise I've been typing out. This is going somewhere.

Following are words to describe various emotions. One of the steps I listed previously is to pinpoint what one is experiencing/feeling.

Identifying (for me) what one is feeling takes away some of the "power" (if need be) that a particular emotion might exert. Not to suppress and not to necessarily act on it; but to identify it, sit with it, perhaps let it soak....and then release it/change it/regulate it/ whatever.... (Hope that makes some sort of sense. :blink: )

I become AWARE of what I am feeling in my body, gut, head, heart, etc.; AWARE of my autonomic/automatic responses. Once aware I can then decide whether or not to direct/change/act/idle/etc. (Or maybe just go drink a marguerita. )

This list is like an emotional thesaurus.

Since I can't get columns on this here screen, I'm putting this in a list form. Please excuse any typos.

This is from a handout "Emotional Regulation: Ways to Describe Emotions":

Love Words: love, adoration, affection, arousal, attraction, caring, charmed, compassion, desire, enchantment, fondness, infatuation, kindness, liking, longing, lust, passion, sentimentality, sympathy, tenderness, warm

Joy Words: joy, amusement, bliss, cheerfulness, contentment, delight, eagerness, ecstasy, elation, enjoyment, enthrallment, enthusiasm, euphoria, excitement, exhilaration, gaiety, gladness, glee, happiness, hope, jolliness, joviality, jubilation, optimism, pleasure, pride rapture, relief, satisfaction, thrill, triumph, zaniness, zest, zeal

Sadness Words: sadness, agony, alienation, anguish, crushed, defeat, dejection, depression, despair, disappointment, discontentment, dismay, displeasure, distraught, gloom, glumness, grief, homesickness, hopelessness, hurt, insecurity, isolation, loneliness, melancholy, misery, neglect, pity, rejection, sorrow, suffering, unhappiness, woe

Anger Words: anger, aggravation, agitation, annoyance, bitterness, contempt, cruelty, destructiveness, disgust, dislike, envy, exasperation, ferocity, frustration, fury, grouchiness, grumpiness, hate, hostility, irritation, jealousy, loathing, mean-spiritedness, outrage, rage, resentment, revulsion, scorn, spite, torment, vengefulness, wrath

Fear Words: fear, apprehension, anxiety, distress, dread, edginess, fright, horror, hysteria, jumpiness, nervousness, overwhelmed, panic, shock, tenseness, terror, uneasiness, worry

Shame Words: shame, contrition, culpability, discomposure, embarrassment, guilt, humilation, insult, invalidation, mortification, regret, remorse

Other Important Emotion Words:

Interest, excitement, curiosity, pique, intrigue.

Weariness, dissatisfaction, disinclination.

Shyness, fragility, reserve, bashfulness, coyness, reticence.

Cautiousness, reluctance, suspiciousness, caginess, wariness.

Surprise, amazement, astonishment, awe, startle, wonder.

Boldness, bravery, courage, determination.

Powerfulness, a sense of competence, capability, mastery.

Dubiousness, skepticism, doubtfulness.

Apathy, boredom, dullness, ennui, fidgetiness, impatience, indifference, listlessness.

[ex10]

Good stuff, here. And pipes, I think you've hit the nail (or maybe me, :huh: ) on the head.....

Being emotionally expressive in our own interior world, as well as our exterior communication, is a lost art in our culture, it seems. Thanks for makin me think, as you and t-bone, and others here do.

Fondly, affectionately, tenderly, yours. :wub:

[washingtonweather]

T-Bone - Speech Language Pathology, also known as Communication Disorders

Edited December 20, 2006 by washingtonweather

[T-Bone]

...Speech Language Pathology, also known as Communication Disorders

That's quite a mouthful right there, Washington…geez if all they asked on the entrance exam is to say that three times fast without screwing up – think I'd be switching majors – maybe go into Cult Appreciation and Proliferation or something…all kidding aside – what an interesting field. Will you work in educational services or some type of health care facility?... Oh - and belated happy birthday by a couple of weeks :) .

Okay now...Washington - look at some of Bagpipes' posts - like post # 46 - man, there's a lot of stuff in there! I'm thinking speech, communication, self-awareness, describing emotions - maybe there's some tie-ins. Not meaning to put you on the spot - but if you feel so inspired maybe you could share on how you see any connections.

Edited December 21, 2006 by T-Bone

[potato]

great stuff t-bone and pipes!!

thanks for the website, pipes, I am definitely interested in this.