...Glad you're here. Sometimes we fight like cats and dogs and sometimes we hug each other and cry...there's some great folks here who are always willing to sit and talk...and we are open 24 hours a day!
This place is good to vent. You'll have lots of ears.
I'd say you should also find a thread or two that is fun. It is so easy to stay in that mode where you are angry all the time. If you talk about being angry too much - well, it just makes you angrier.....LOL
So, while you're venting and learning, also take some time in the Prayer Thread to see who you can help. Take time to be thanful that you weren't raised in TWI - so although these relatives are mean and ornery - they aren't your parents! Pray for them - if you can yet.
Many of us are willing to help - Godspeed your journey to healing!
what kind of church are you in now, bliss? you werent taught to have a personal realtionship with Jesus Christ? why not? my parents were the only ones of 6 kids not in the way..my aunt and uncles VERY high up in the way..i think my uncles brother started one of the splinter groups..i just started researching this a few months ago..and so i am trying to learn to guard myself..and to well, help them hopefully..they are still tied to it although they have claimed to left a decade ago.
Well, at the moment it is a Baptist Church. It took us a llllllloooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggg time to go to a ''service''.
God lead us there through a ''coincidence'' , to a Sunday school class. We went to the class every week and it drastically changed our lives. We've been studying the book of Romans for over a year! (and we didn't even have to PAY for it, imagine that!)
But in a very humbling, praiseworthy way............not in a ''knowledge puffs up '' way.
And, no, we were NOT taught to have a ''personal relationship'' with Jesus in the Way. We were taught to look at ''his example'' and follow that. That is how we ''make him lord''.
Needless to say, I didn't know him and therefore really and truly did NOT make him LORD!
I think the bottom line for you is to think about whether or not you want to hang out with the family or not. Do they live near you?
What do your parents think?
Just remember your idenity is in Christ, you don't need anyone to validate who you are and who you serve.
(no matter how much ''bible'' they know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Just wanted to add my welcome. Feel free to ask about anything here. Some folks will jump down your throat, perhaps, but we are all passionate about whatever we do or don't believe, and basically goodhearted.
My husband and I have attended a Grace Brethren church since 2001. They teach the Bible straight up, and are very humble. Fairly similar to Baptists in a lot of ways.
It's been my experience that you find all sorts of people in any church you attend. Just gotta lovve 'em whatever.
Motherof2, the behavior you mentioned is so very, very typical of TWI. You must realize, TWI is a cult. Also realize, you are never, ever, going to change them or talk them out of anything.
Of course you are born again - but to them, anyone outside of the "household" is suspect. They believe, truly, they are the only ones "really" walking with God. Sadly, they do not know Christ. Way people are taught that the "Word" takes the place of the "absent" Christ. Thus, they worship the "Word" and pick it and nitpick it to pieces. They are puffed up with knowledge, yet, have no love (See I. Cor. 13).
When you are with them, don't even try to bring up the Bible, Christ, etc. with them unless they ask. And then, are they asking because they truly want to know, or do they really want to argue?
The only thing you can really do is pray for them for God to open their eyes.
Most of us, even the most loyal and hardheaded got out because God worked in our hearts. Maybe some things had happened and there were doubts forming, whatever, it is a spiritual move of God.
Keep them in your prayers. Your walk and joyfulness in Christ is a witness. If one ever starts having doubts, they'll know who they can talk to. Until then, I really would make any discussions with them re the Bible and Christianity off limits, because, for now, to them you are "possessed" or allowing "evil spirits" into your life. Don't be mad about this, have compassion, they live in a narrow box and cannot see out.
God will break the chains that bind them when and if they desire to get out.
I'm going to add my 2 cents about anger here.... yes, it can eat you up and even destroy you, but it has it's proper place in the process of acceptance. do not deny it. there is nothing ungodly or evil about being angry, as long as you're working toward a way to deal with these people where they don't get under your skin.
I'm going through the same thing with my ex. he sounds pretty much exactly like your uncle and treats his family like it seems your uncle treats you. he doesn't care about their hearts, he just wants them to toe the line so that he looks good because he got them "saved" and in the One True Household, as it's been called.
I've been hit, called names, yelled at by leadership for hours, my children emotionally and physically abused thanks to twi's influence. the turning point in my life that made escape possible was making a few friends outside twi. maybe if you can get your aunt out with a few other people away from your uncle, you might get a better idea of what's really going on.
I'm new to this site also; been around a week or so. I left TWI in 89 but returned to a group of ex-TWI people here that was not run very differently. I left them 7 years later. Took 3 years off to do my own personal "cult recovery" time, reading my Bible, figuring out what was true and what was not. Since 1999 I have gone to a non-denominational church.
One of the previous posters (or more) mentioned that at least for us, getting to know Jesus Christ as our Lord was a big step. TWI did not let the Lord Jesus be the head of the church. There is great peace and comfort in finally realizing that "He that cometh to me will I in no wise cast out." (Sorry if I quoted that slightly off.) ANyway, my point is, churches are good if they glorify Him as Lord. He is a lot more real to me than he used to be.
Like other previous writers, I also sortof gloss over the "God in three persons" bit when we sing it at church. And this time of year I brace myself to hear the story about how God in Human Flesh was born. Aarrgh. Other than that, I like my church because there are lots of other Christians there who I can love and who love me. ANd that is what it's all about.
Being mean to people like your relatives are is not love. Although we were taught to love in TWI, all we saw in example was leaders who ruled by fear and intimidation, who set themselves above others in the body of Christ, etc....Not love.
Welcome to GSC! There's plenty of room for you! I was in the Way for about 6 years with my now ex husband. His mother had left TWI years ago. Because of that he rarely saw her. When he did it was only for the holidays. And when he did there was always a disagreement about "the ministry." I tried many times to get him to accept her & just love her without it mattering what group she did or did not belong to. He never would. He was so engrained with their doctrine he could not see the truth or logic in it.
Those in that group are embedded with fear of "disobeying leadership." I know week after week I had to hear crap about those who'd left & all the "bad things" that happened. Their leaders know exactly how to exercise control & keep it.
I encourage you not to give up on your family. When they do see it for what it really is, they'll need your love to get out & stay out.
its so weird as i think about things in the past that are coming to mind..well, my cousin was in jail this summer and i happened to ask my uncle via email(dont know why because he is a grown man at 22) if my dsd could visit him andd my dad is not from twi..my uncle replied..NO.it it my choice i am the Father. exactly like that...crazy, huh? i said...whoa..thats pretty creepy...and he is creepy, but he can be very charming too...for the most part our other relatives dont get along that great with him..i think THEY (from twi) even see through him.
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GrouchoMarxJr
Welcome!...
...Glad you're here. Sometimes we fight like cats and dogs and sometimes we hug each other and cry...there's some great folks here who are always willing to sit and talk...and we are open 24 hours a day!
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doojable
Mother of 2
This place is good to vent. You'll have lots of ears.
I'd say you should also find a thread or two that is fun. It is so easy to stay in that mode where you are angry all the time. If you talk about being angry too much - well, it just makes you angrier.....LOL
So, while you're venting and learning, also take some time in the Prayer Thread to see who you can help. Take time to be thanful that you weren't raised in TWI - so although these relatives are mean and ornery - they aren't your parents! Pray for them - if you can yet.
Many of us are willing to help - Godspeed your journey to healing!
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bliss
Well, at the moment it is a Baptist Church. It took us a llllllloooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggg time to go to a ''service''.
God lead us there through a ''coincidence'' , to a Sunday school class. We went to the class every week and it drastically changed our lives. We've been studying the book of Romans for over a year! (and we didn't even have to PAY for it, imagine that!)
But in a very humbling, praiseworthy way............not in a ''knowledge puffs up '' way.
And, no, we were NOT taught to have a ''personal relationship'' with Jesus in the Way. We were taught to look at ''his example'' and follow that. That is how we ''make him lord''.
Needless to say, I didn't know him and therefore really and truly did NOT make him LORD!
I think the bottom line for you is to think about whether or not you want to hang out with the family or not. Do they live near you?
What do your parents think?
Just remember your idenity is in Christ, you don't need anyone to validate who you are and who you serve.
(no matter how much ''bible'' they know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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Watered Garden
Just wanted to add my welcome. Feel free to ask about anything here. Some folks will jump down your throat, perhaps, but we are all passionate about whatever we do or don't believe, and basically goodhearted.
My husband and I have attended a Grace Brethren church since 2001. They teach the Bible straight up, and are very humble. Fairly similar to Baptists in a lot of ways.
It's been my experience that you find all sorts of people in any church you attend. Just gotta lovve 'em whatever.
Enjoy your coffee!
wG
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Sunesis
Motherof2, the behavior you mentioned is so very, very typical of TWI. You must realize, TWI is a cult. Also realize, you are never, ever, going to change them or talk them out of anything.
Of course you are born again - but to them, anyone outside of the "household" is suspect. They believe, truly, they are the only ones "really" walking with God. Sadly, they do not know Christ. Way people are taught that the "Word" takes the place of the "absent" Christ. Thus, they worship the "Word" and pick it and nitpick it to pieces. They are puffed up with knowledge, yet, have no love (See I. Cor. 13).
When you are with them, don't even try to bring up the Bible, Christ, etc. with them unless they ask. And then, are they asking because they truly want to know, or do they really want to argue?
The only thing you can really do is pray for them for God to open their eyes.
Most of us, even the most loyal and hardheaded got out because God worked in our hearts. Maybe some things had happened and there were doubts forming, whatever, it is a spiritual move of God.
Keep them in your prayers. Your walk and joyfulness in Christ is a witness. If one ever starts having doubts, they'll know who they can talk to. Until then, I really would make any discussions with them re the Bible and Christianity off limits, because, for now, to them you are "possessed" or allowing "evil spirits" into your life. Don't be mad about this, have compassion, they live in a narrow box and cannot see out.
God will break the chains that bind them when and if they desire to get out.
Hope this helps.
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potato
I'm going to add my 2 cents about anger here.... yes, it can eat you up and even destroy you, but it has it's proper place in the process of acceptance. do not deny it. there is nothing ungodly or evil about being angry, as long as you're working toward a way to deal with these people where they don't get under your skin.
I'm going through the same thing with my ex. he sounds pretty much exactly like your uncle and treats his family like it seems your uncle treats you. he doesn't care about their hearts, he just wants them to toe the line so that he looks good because he got them "saved" and in the One True Household, as it's been called.
I've been hit, called names, yelled at by leadership for hours, my children emotionally and physically abused thanks to twi's influence. the turning point in my life that made escape possible was making a few friends outside twi. maybe if you can get your aunt out with a few other people away from your uncle, you might get a better idea of what's really going on.
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SafariVista
Dear Motherof2~
A very, very warm WELCOME to you!
With love,
Safari
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Javajivey
Hi, Motherof2,
I'm new to this site also; been around a week or so. I left TWI in 89 but returned to a group of ex-TWI people here that was not run very differently. I left them 7 years later. Took 3 years off to do my own personal "cult recovery" time, reading my Bible, figuring out what was true and what was not. Since 1999 I have gone to a non-denominational church.
One of the previous posters (or more) mentioned that at least for us, getting to know Jesus Christ as our Lord was a big step. TWI did not let the Lord Jesus be the head of the church. There is great peace and comfort in finally realizing that "He that cometh to me will I in no wise cast out." (Sorry if I quoted that slightly off.) ANyway, my point is, churches are good if they glorify Him as Lord. He is a lot more real to me than he used to be.
Like other previous writers, I also sortof gloss over the "God in three persons" bit when we sing it at church. And this time of year I brace myself to hear the story about how God in Human Flesh was born. Aarrgh. Other than that, I like my church because there are lots of other Christians there who I can love and who love me. ANd that is what it's all about.
Being mean to people like your relatives are is not love. Although we were taught to love in TWI, all we saw in example was leaders who ruled by fear and intimidation, who set themselves above others in the body of Christ, etc....Not love.
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Vyctorya911
Welcome to GSC! There's plenty of room for you! I was in the Way for about 6 years with my now ex husband. His mother had left TWI years ago. Because of that he rarely saw her. When he did it was only for the holidays. And when he did there was always a disagreement about "the ministry." I tried many times to get him to accept her & just love her without it mattering what group she did or did not belong to. He never would. He was so engrained with their doctrine he could not see the truth or logic in it.
Those in that group are embedded with fear of "disobeying leadership." I know week after week I had to hear crap about those who'd left & all the "bad things" that happened. Their leaders know exactly how to exercise control & keep it.
I encourage you not to give up on your family. When they do see it for what it really is, they'll need your love to get out & stay out.
Vyctorya
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motherof2
its so weird as i think about things in the past that are coming to mind..well, my cousin was in jail this summer and i happened to ask my uncle via email(dont know why because he is a grown man at 22) if my dsd could visit him andd my dad is not from twi..my uncle replied..NO.it it my choice i am the Father. exactly like that...crazy, huh? i said...whoa..thats pretty creepy...and he is creepy, but he can be very charming too...for the most part our other relatives dont get along that great with him..i think THEY (from twi) even see through him.
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