A big guy ties up his Rotweiller outside of a bar and walks in. He is sitting there enjoying a couple of beers when another small man runs into the bar and says who owns that Rotweiller outside. The bug guy at the counter says I do. The small man says well, your dog is dead. The big guy says what, how did he die. The small guy says, my dog killed it. The big guy says what kind of dog can kill a Rotweiller. The small guy says I have a Chiwawa. The big guy says how could that happen. The small guy says well, he got stuck in his throat!
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
2. Pilot -- "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
10. "Last one off the plane must clean it."
11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!
12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
THE STRING AND THE SPOON: A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired ABC Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the> > kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.
I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
(not exactly a clean joke)
-------------------------------
The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in
my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If
they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're
welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and
then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and
going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and
groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh,
oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got
my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with
her back against the wall.
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there
in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over
the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her
little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,
breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.
Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in
yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so
there must be a lot of toys inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,
when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
A big guy ties up his Rotweiller outside of a bar and walks in. He is sitting there enjoying a couple of beers when another small man runs into the bar and says who owns that Rotweiller outside. The bug guy at the counter says I do. The small man says well, your dog is dead. The big guy says what, how did he die. The small guy says, my dog killed it. The big guy says what kind of dog can kill a Rotweiller. The small guy says I have a Chiwawa. The big guy says how could that happen. The small guy says well, he got stuck in his throat!
A big guy ties up his Rotweiller outside of a bar and walks in. He is sitting there enjoying a couple of beers when another small man runs into the bar and says who owns that Rotweiller outside. The bug guy at the counter says I do. The small man says well, your dog is dead. The big guy says what, how did he die. The small guy says, my dog killed it. The big guy says what kind of dog can kill a Rotweiller. The small guy says I have a Chiwawa. The big guy says how could that happen. The small guy says well, he got stuck in his throat!
'Hey, Mom,' asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not!” she said.
"If you do," he went on,
"I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
"Well? What did he say?"
He said,
"Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow." ~
An old man walks into the doctors office and the lady attendant asks him "what are you here for". He says" it's my penis". She blushes and says "next time you come in the office try to be a little more discreet because we have other people sitting here in the waiting room'.
So a couple of weeks later the old man walks back into the office and the attendant asks him "what are you here for". He says "it's my ear". Then the lady asks him "what seems to be the problem". The old man says "I can't pee out of it".
An old man walks into the doctors office and the lady attendant asks him "what are you here for". He says" it's my penis". She blushes and says "next time you come in the office try to be a little more discreet because we have other people sitting here in the waiting room'.
So a couple of weeks later the old man walks back into the office and the attendant asks him "what are you here for". He says "it's my ear". Then the lady asks him "what seems to be the problem". The old man says "I can't pee out of it".
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeepers temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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waysider
"If ignorance is bliss
Why come it is more people ain't happy?"
"Why Come It Is?"------------Dr. John
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dmiller
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement.
When his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Montreat.
As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine.
Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
"Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.
A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.
The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo
and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down
he was surprised to see who was driving.
He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.
He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know
that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies.
I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
"The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?"
The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president."
The young trooper said, "Not, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus
because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur !!!!!
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SafariVista
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polar bear
A big guy ties up his Rotweiller outside of a bar and walks in. He is sitting there enjoying a couple of beers when another small man runs into the bar and says who owns that Rotweiller outside. The bug guy at the counter says I do. The small man says well, your dog is dead. The big guy says what, how did he die. The small guy says, my dog killed it. The big guy says what kind of dog can kill a Rotweiller. The small guy says I have a Chiwawa. The big guy says how could that happen. The small guy says well, he got stuck in his throat!
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coolchef
How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
You block it's nose!
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topoftheworld
I love airline humor.........
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
2. Pilot -- "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
10. "Last one off the plane must clean it."
11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!
12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
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dmiller
Top ---
Hey -- Bill Clinton needed an exercise program, so he decided to jog daily.
His route took him right past a corner where a hooker stood every day.
Whenever he ran by -- he would pause and ask -- "How much?"
She replied $50 dollars. Bill said "I'd give you five", and kept on running.
This happened on a daily basis for a while,
and then one day Hillary decided to join Bill on the run.
Bill (to himself) is thinking "I hope that hooker isn't there today".
So he and Hillary go jogging, and sure enough,
there's the hooker ahead of them at the corner.
Bill is dreading running past her with Hillary at his side,
hoping she wouldn't say anything ---
but the hooker just laughed as he went on by saying:
"See what 5 bucks will get ya??!!"
:P :P
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topoftheworld
:) :) :)
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Kit Sober
THE STRING AND THE SPOON: A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired ABC Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the> > kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.
I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
(not exactly a clean joke)
-------------------------------
The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in
my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If
they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're
welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and
then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and
going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and
groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh,
oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got
my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with
her back against the wall.
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there
in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over
the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her
little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,
breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.
Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in
yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so
there must be a lot of toys inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,
when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
another "Middle Wife" comes along.
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coolchef
kit way too cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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polar bear
You never know when a Kodak moment might pop up.
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Kit Sober
Or a kodiak moment for those who bear with us.
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polar bear
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, that's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
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Sudo
Farmer-wanna-be Sudo bought two horses, but could never remember
which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail
of one horse and that worked great until the other horse
got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and
looked exactly like the other horse's tail and 'ole Sudo
was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested Sudo notch the ear of one horse. That
worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a
barbed wire fence. Once again city slicker Sudo couldn't tell them
apart.
The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height.
When he did, Sudo was very pleased to find that the white
horse was 2 inches taller than the black.
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goldcurlylocks
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goldcurlylocks
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washingtonweather
K- Sudo--gotta den'ist joke
Guru goes in for dental work, Dentist asks him does he want the novacaine, Guru says - "No, I transcend dental medication!"
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polar bear
Okay=since we're into medical jokes=
An old man walks into the doctors office and the lady attendant asks him "what are you here for". He says" it's my penis". She blushes and says "next time you come in the office try to be a little more discreet because we have other people sitting here in the waiting room'.
So a couple of weeks later the old man walks back into the office and the attendant asks him "what are you here for". He says "it's my ear". Then the lady asks him "what seems to be the problem". The old man says "I can't pee out of it".
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goldcurlylocks
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Sudo
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeepers temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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SafariVista
What a fun, early morning read... enjoyed all the jokes :)
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waysider
Grandpaw, we got a new kitty cat!
(Oh, that's nice!)
It's a boy cat, wanna know how I can tell?
(OK.)
It's got whiskers!
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Sudo
Safari and Waysider,
Then one more that I was sent just today. Funny how I get these kinds of things in e-mail :blink: .
A man goes to his dentist because he feels something is wrong with his
mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for
you six months ago is completely corroded. What have you been eating?" The
man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made
some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious: Hollandaise
sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything -- meat, toast, fish,
vegetables, you name it." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the
problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly
corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and
this time I'll use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.
The dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like
chrome for the hollandaise!"
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Kit Sober
Sudo, Terrific. Thankyouverymuch.
:)
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