Anyone with a first name of Catheter needs to go away; preferably to some dark dark place.
I was named after my maternal grandfather Foley Catheter....And there has been talk that Northumberland County Utilities is going to run power to our rural area of town - perhaps in a year or two - so at present where I live is a fairly dark place...Is RumRunner your first or last name - or your only name? Single names are easy to remember - I think that's why a lot of show people do that. I have a cousin that's doing that rock and roll stuff at a lot of pubs - he plays the bass, likes a lot of the Police tunes and goes by the name Stent.
The Chrome Fender Dents and Edible Steering Column are wonderful ideas – but I fear the Edible Steering Column may encounter a problem – I anticipate horrendous temporal confusion over the expiration date of any perishable items. Imagine someone purchasing a jug of milk on October 26 with the stamp "Use by November 1." The person immediately time-travels to November 2 via my illustrious machine. If perchance the time traveler got sick for whatever reason – many investigators would naturally point to the out-of-date milk. With a name like Spoilsport I'm sure you catch my drift. An Edible Steering Column is a dandy idea though – perhaps it would be wise to have the buyer sign a waiver at the time of their purchase. I will contact my uncle Cannula Bailey who is an attorney of sorts – he may be interested in drafting such a document for a nominal fee.
I have to be forthright with your other idea of an "air conditioned time machine." Indeed – besides the fact that something like that is utterly preposterous – surely the stuff of science fiction fantasy – there is also the delicate balance of my time travel formula to re-calculate. "Air conditioned" indeed! My machine will draw 786 amps from the electrical outlet for every time-traveling-minute of operation. Any change in one of the variables of my formula could have enormous impact to the exact chronological drama of it all! How much power would your "air conditioning" machine require?
I must confess, I was put up to that post by my dear friends Porgy Tirebiter and Mudhead.
They are both students (like me!) at More Science High School.
My post must remain short as I am running somewhat late for the school pep rally where
Principal Poop will be the featured speaker. The theme of the rally is "shoes for industry/shoes for the dead."
We all have plenty of school spirit.(I keep mine in the rumble seat.)
Well, I'm late for my philatilist club meeting and I haven't yet finished helping Porcelain,the upstairs maid,
make the bed.
As to the viability of your time machine I must pose the following question:
"How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?"
And now I must repair to my place of residence---------firesigntheater.com
Sincerely
Nick Danger, Private Eye
Dear Mr. Danger P.I.
Do take good notes at your pep rally – your message really caught my eye mentioning "shoes for industry" – perhaps there's a tidbit or two of technological tips I could glean from. Several years ago I experimented with time-traveling boots. But alas, they proved to be too clunky for such a precision-demanding endeavor as walking around the space/time continuum. It could wind up being a nasty trip if you don't watch your step. I believe they worked in an erratic sort of way – occasionally one of my socks would come up missing – from the very pair of socks that I wore in the time-traveling boots! I imagine these missing socks are now floating about [fourth dimensionally speaking] in some space/time/hose zone layer. My time-traveling boots were invention number 483.
I thought I put that project totally to rest when – hello - one night I was watching a video of Michael Jackson as he did his moonwalk. I marveled at how he seemed to just slide effortlessly backwards – then like a thunderbolt it hit me – sliding backwards - - or forwards in time! The reason some of my socks disappeared – was it something about their molecular structure? My next invention [number 484] pursued that avenue – trying knee highs, crew, athletic and argyle socks. Also experimented with individual-toed socks to afford one greater articulation in controlling the exact second of time targeting. Furthermore, I installed time-flux flooring in my laboratory to facilitate the sliding requirements of the time-traveling socks. Any barriers to the de-time-ification of the sock wearer would begin to collapse as the socks themselves approach the threshold of 299,792,458 meters per second [or a mere 1,079,252,848.8 kilometers per hour] across the time-flux flooring. This invention is held in abeyance due to a mix up by the flooring contractor. I specified an actual hardwood flooring for its timeless beauty – and he installed some cheap laminate. I will resume experimentation after I disassemble my time-flux wiring harnesses from the faux floor and put in the real stuff.
Lest you think I forgot – to answer your question "How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?" I shall refer you once again to my time-travel formula. When the velocity and acceleration vectors converge in the appropriate dimensions coinciding with the centripetal force – stuff happens! This centripetal force has the potential to whip the time traveler around in a circular path – going in circles – and with enough speed the time traveler will get nowhere fast!
I was named after my maternal grandfather Foley Catheter....And there has been talk that Northumberland County Utilities is going to run power to our rural area of town - perhaps in a year or two - so at present where I live is a fairly dark place...Is RumRunner your first or last name - or your only name? Single names are easy to remember - I think that's why a lot of show people do that. I have a cousin that's doing that rock and roll stuff at a lot of pubs - he plays the bass, likes a lot of the Police tunes and goes by the name Stent.
Nome of the above TB that name is from an old 70's Robert Hunter album. I used it so someone I know on here would recognize me right away.
For yea verily, it came to pass in a time long forgotten and in a place never seen by many that a gathering of upstarts from the tribe of ---------Firesign Theater----- did indeed climb aboard a wonderous time machine and travel into the future. Those who have ears to hear can still,to this very day, hear them proclaim for all the world to hear:"I Think We're All Bozos On this Bus."
And so here I humbly remain,still--------Waiting For The Electrician(Or Someone Like Him)
RumRunner - - that is a cool name and where you got it from is interesting too – I looked up Robert Hunter – what impressed me was finding out he was into bluegrass music in the early 60s playing the mandolin and upright bass.
And on a personal note my grandpa [upon who's steps I'm standing in my avatar] was a fisherman by trade and during prohibition would ship mash from Canada.
Waysider, thanks for bringing in a taste of Firesign Theater! I remember discussions with my high school buddies about this comedy troupe – along with other heady discussions like - if you could only have five albums on a deserted island what would they be? And interesting to read in the Wikipedia link below that some admirers referred to them as the Beatles of comedy.
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RumRunner
Anyone with a first name of Catheter needs to go away; preferably to some dark dark place.
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T-Bone
I was named after my maternal grandfather Foley Catheter....And there has been talk that Northumberland County Utilities is going to run power to our rural area of town - perhaps in a year or two - so at present where I live is a fairly dark place...Is RumRunner your first or last name - or your only name? Single names are easy to remember - I think that's why a lot of show people do that. I have a cousin that's doing that rock and roll stuff at a lot of pubs - he plays the bass, likes a lot of the Police tunes and goes by the name Stent.
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waysider
"anyone named Catheter should go away"
Yes,friends, now you really CAN go away in a brand new Bailey Time Machine.
It's been fully factory air conditioned in our fully air conditioned factory.
Complete with chrome fender dents and an edible steerng column.
Now let's take a look inside your new home,shall we?
Sincerely,
Ralph Spoilsport
(Ralph Spoilsport Motors)------------Firesign Theater
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T-Bone
Dear Mr. Spoilsport,
The Chrome Fender Dents and Edible Steering Column are wonderful ideas – but I fear the Edible Steering Column may encounter a problem – I anticipate horrendous temporal confusion over the expiration date of any perishable items. Imagine someone purchasing a jug of milk on October 26 with the stamp "Use by November 1." The person immediately time-travels to November 2 via my illustrious machine. If perchance the time traveler got sick for whatever reason – many investigators would naturally point to the out-of-date milk. With a name like Spoilsport I'm sure you catch my drift. An Edible Steering Column is a dandy idea though – perhaps it would be wise to have the buyer sign a waiver at the time of their purchase. I will contact my uncle Cannula Bailey who is an attorney of sorts – he may be interested in drafting such a document for a nominal fee.
I have to be forthright with your other idea of an "air conditioned time machine." Indeed – besides the fact that something like that is utterly preposterous – surely the stuff of science fiction fantasy – there is also the delicate balance of my time travel formula to re-calculate. "Air conditioned" indeed! My machine will draw 786 amps from the electrical outlet for every time-traveling-minute of operation. Any change in one of the variables of my formula could have enormous impact to the exact chronological drama of it all! How much power would your "air conditioning" machine require?
Sincerely scientific,
Catheter Bailey
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waysider
My Dear Mr. Bailey
I must confess, I was put up to that post by my dear friends Porgy Tirebiter and Mudhead.
They are both students (like me!) at More Science High School.
My post must remain short as I am running somewhat late for the school pep rally where
Principal Poop will be the featured speaker. The theme of the rally is "shoes for industry/shoes for the dead."
We all have plenty of school spirit.(I keep mine in the rumble seat.)
Well, I'm late for my philatilist club meeting and I haven't yet finished helping Porcelain,the upstairs maid,
make the bed.
As to the viability of your time machine I must pose the following question:
"How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?"
And now I must repair to my place of residence---------firesigntheater.com
Sincerely
Nick Danger, Private Eye
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T-Bone
Dear Mr. Danger P.I.
Do take good notes at your pep rally – your message really caught my eye mentioning "shoes for industry" – perhaps there's a tidbit or two of technological tips I could glean from. Several years ago I experimented with time-traveling boots. But alas, they proved to be too clunky for such a precision-demanding endeavor as walking around the space/time continuum. It could wind up being a nasty trip if you don't watch your step. I believe they worked in an erratic sort of way – occasionally one of my socks would come up missing – from the very pair of socks that I wore in the time-traveling boots! I imagine these missing socks are now floating about [fourth dimensionally speaking] in some space/time/hose zone layer. My time-traveling boots were invention number 483.
I thought I put that project totally to rest when – hello - one night I was watching a video of Michael Jackson as he did his moonwalk. I marveled at how he seemed to just slide effortlessly backwards – then like a thunderbolt it hit me – sliding backwards - - or forwards in time! The reason some of my socks disappeared – was it something about their molecular structure? My next invention [number 484] pursued that avenue – trying knee highs, crew, athletic and argyle socks. Also experimented with individual-toed socks to afford one greater articulation in controlling the exact second of time targeting. Furthermore, I installed time-flux flooring in my laboratory to facilitate the sliding requirements of the time-traveling socks. Any barriers to the de-time-ification of the sock wearer would begin to collapse as the socks themselves approach the threshold of 299,792,458 meters per second [or a mere 1,079,252,848.8 kilometers per hour] across the time-flux flooring. This invention is held in abeyance due to a mix up by the flooring contractor. I specified an actual hardwood flooring for its timeless beauty – and he installed some cheap laminate. I will resume experimentation after I disassemble my time-flux wiring harnesses from the faux floor and put in the real stuff.
Lest you think I forgot – to answer your question "How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?" I shall refer you once again to my time-travel formula. When the velocity and acceleration vectors converge in the appropriate dimensions coinciding with the centripetal force – stuff happens! This centripetal force has the potential to whip the time traveler around in a circular path – going in circles – and with enough speed the time traveler will get nowhere fast!
Sincerely,
Catheter Bailey
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RumRunner
Nome of the above TB that name is from an old 70's Robert Hunter album. I used it so someone I know on here would recognize me right away.
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waysider
For yea verily, it came to pass in a time long forgotten and in a place never seen by many that a gathering of upstarts from the tribe of ---------Firesign Theater----- did indeed climb aboard a wonderous time machine and travel into the future. Those who have ears to hear can still,to this very day, hear them proclaim for all the world to hear:"I Think We're All Bozos On this Bus."
And so here I humbly remain,still--------Waiting For The Electrician(Or Someone Like Him)
Sincerely
George Tirebiter
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T-Bone
RumRunner - - that is a cool name and where you got it from is interesting too – I looked up Robert Hunter – what impressed me was finding out he was into bluegrass music in the early 60s playing the mandolin and upright bass.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Hunter_(lyricist)
And on a personal note my grandpa [upon who's steps I'm standing in my avatar] was a fisherman by trade and during prohibition would ship mash from Canada.
Waysider, thanks for bringing in a taste of Firesign Theater! I remember discussions with my high school buddies about this comedy troupe – along with other heady discussions like - if you could only have five albums on a deserted island what would they be? And interesting to read in the Wikipedia link below that some admirers referred to them as the Beatles of comedy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firesign_Theatre
and here's an interesting write-up of them by Leonard Pierce
http://www.thehighhat.com/PopsClicks/004/f...gn_theatre.html
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