"A wart on the body of Christ"

[I Love Bagpipes]

I read the following this morning, and was.....hmmm....sobered. It brought to mind LCM's rantings about people being warts or pimples or _________ as their part of the body of Christ. I ws never marked and avoided nor did I ever endure one of LCM's rantings face to face. (Those of you who did are stronger than I.) Yet, I took personally the public rantings and would think of myself as that wart or pimple or _________.

The following sobered me (I think) because it drove home the REALITY of what folks endured and the damage it can evoke; the damage is real. It can be repaired and that takes time, plus other stuff. The damage/influence not only impacts the victim, but also the "bystanders."

Excerpt (The italics are mine. The bold blue is what reverberates strongly with me.)

"..........Over the next hour I was subjected to taunt after taunt.

........After that hour with him, having sustained countless piercing jabs of disdain and egged on by his mockery, I felt caught in a vortex of self-doubt, exhausted at swimming against the undertow...........

I also felt enraged--not merely angry, but incensed to the degree that I wanted to hurt someone or something.

The combination of self-doubt, exhaustion, and fury fulfilled what he said about me and seduced me to turn my back on what I knew to be true. Compromise seemed better than the prospect of facing his cold, venomous mockery. The effect of his contempt was to make me feel weak and deluded.

Contempt...intimidates and controls....intensifying our flight or fight exponentially. In provoking us to retaliate with contempt or kill desire with numbing shame, it violates and destroys.

One reason for the extraordinary power of contempt is that it isolates us as unlovable....

...Contempt is a poison [that] mocks our desirability: "No one wants you. ....You have no place with us. So just leave or bow down and serve us."

Contempt isolates its victims by branding them unworthy of love.......Mockery draws a line in the sand, separating its victim fromthe crowd. On the other side of the line is the in-group, laughing (leader's ring); near them is the silent crowd (seduced followers) that will not risk stepping across the line to stand with the victim in his isolation.

Part of the power of contempt is that it reverberates in the heart long after the words are spoken. Beyond the scornful words, the contemptuous question echoes, "Why can't I get the thoughts out of my mind?"

....."What is wrong with me that an innocuous remark can spiral me into the throes of cracking like a broken pot?"

This is the unholy leverage of contempt: it renders desire foolish and painful, leaving the soul susceptible to the influence and control of others. Contempt then offers the option, "Join us or die. Be like us or face even greater mockery." The weakened, isolated, and exhausted heart is apt to give in to the force of contempt and join the ranks of the arrogant."

End excerpt (from The Cry of the Soul).

This excerpt summons much emotion and thought within me, and at the same time clarifies the seduction. I was a perpetrator and a victim (makes my stomach turn). :( I was part far too long of the "silent crowd" mentioned above. Seduction is a reality.

Gosh......I'm so thankful that forgiveness, healing, and the open arms of God and His people are also a reality. :)

And I'm thankful for GSC and all the connections God has brought to me through this place.

[FreeAtLast]

Thanks for the post. It puts into words what many of us have really been thinking, only couldn't find ways to explain.

[Twinky]

Too right, Bagpipes.

That's if you were even worthy of contempt - you might recall sometimes people were made to feel unworthy even of that.

(Self)Condemnation is a bedfellow of the contempt which is described.

All this from a "ministry" that was keen to tell us that there is therefore no condemnation... and then proceeded to put so many of its people exactly there.

I'm very thankful for GSC and its denizens, wise or wacky!

[templelady]

It's been my experience that people who are contemptuous of others are usually jealous of some facet of the person being held in contempt's life.

For example a type A business man might be contemptuous of the guy next door who works 9-5 , and turned down a managerial position because it would cut into the time he spends fishing with his sons.

While contempt comes out of the business man in actually it is anger and envy he feels that the guy next door gets to relax and spend so much time with his kids

[excathedra]

excellent bagpipes, thank you

[Lori]

Bagpipes,

Yes I've been one of the victims mentioned in your post. That is EXACTLY how I felt!

Thanks for sharing. Your perspective is highly enlightening!

[SafariVista]

Bagpipes, wonderful post!

TWI spends too much time comparing the Bible to 'their own' lives, as if today's life and each individual would have to 'fit' into some past written senario. Is life just a bunch of 're-runs'?

It seems the point of the ONE BODY, is that we all work together, and the brains of the operation would be Christ... and even THAT they couldn't get right... they've cut themselves off from a whole world of Chirstians.

But, on the lighter side... if what they're saying is true... that would make Mr. Wierwille & Ol Craig... nothing more than a big, brainless 'Donkey's Icky Crinkled Korpusel'

[DogLover]

Good post, Bagpipes! There was a person in my past ... a previous principal ... that also fit that description very well ... the contempt, the mockery .. all a part of her plan ... to me as well as to others. It's nice to be able to read something and relate it to something that has been bothering you, whether it was TWI (which, as you know, it was for me, too) or outside of TWI. One thing, though ... I stood up to the B---h outside of TWI with a courage I lacked while in TWI ... but perhaps developed after going THROUGH that in TWI ... in any case, I'm glad to be out of TWI, glad to be teaching for a different principal ... but rather horrified that the principal I mention now oversees student teachers ...EEK!

Just musing ... DogLover

[I Love Bagpipes]

Dittos to the comments.

I think the author aptly describes the confusion that folks feel in these type scenarios. It helps me in the process of identifying the snare in which I was caught in twi.

That's if you were even worthy of contempt - you might recall sometimes people were made to feel unworthy even of that.

(Self)Condemnation is a bedfellow of the contempt which is described.

Gosh Twinky....I have thought that about myself. :blink: Probably if I would have gotten a one-on-one face melting session, I would have literally melted on the spot. :(

Doglover....I like your musings...all the time....written and spoken.

I wondered about why I wrote REALITY in all caps. I mean, it seems I would know it is a reality without having to read it (over and over) somewhere. Yet, sometimes I wonder if I am making stuff up. This has happened to me on quite a few occasions (especially in the leaving TWI process) and I will ask the person with whom I am involved, "Am I making this up?"

Ex10 pointed out that perhaps one reason I (and others) wonder that is because (in our culture) we are so busy getting to the next thing, that we don't take time to process. We move to damn fast with too much info/stuff to process.

Anyway, it's nice to know I'm not making it all up. :)

[Lori]

My "face melting" session was in front of the Limb Coordinators and their assistant fellowship coordinators after they supposedly confronted me the first time. ( This "first time" eveyone in our branch was confronted in a "special meeting", but no names were mentioned.) I highly question this. If they're not going to directly confront an individual one on one, what makes them think they can proceed to the next step? After all, who were they talking to?

During this "face melting", the Limb Coordinator's wife told me she had me figured out the very first time she met me, "within minutes". She's the same person who asked me that very day we met if another believer in my fellowship was a lesbian! They went on to accuse me of many more things.....they humiliated me, degraded me, and verbally assaulted me with little or no foundation for what they did.

The presumptuousness was so startling, all I could do was sit and wonder if it was really happening. These other people that were in the room were my friends. It was so embarassing! Of course, they weren't saying anything! I don't think they could believe it either.

She "bragged" during this confrontation they were often sent to areas that needed cleaning up.

It was so hurtful that I couldn't face her again. It felt like someone took a 9" dagger and stabbed me in the heart with no mercy. She's been known for a fiery temper, as she's done her "deed" with others, too. Often, in front of onlookers. She would make slanderous remarks even in teachings about other leadership. (some were still with twi and some weren't, and let's not forget talking about believers who just recently left) This was during teachings! She seemed to take the lead when it came to her husband. He just went along with her.

We moved to Cincinnati, and got back involved with twi, only to find it wasn't much different here either. I was spared the harshness, though. My ex and I divorced in 2003.

I just don't know how twi would allow someone like that to be "leadership", all the while hurting believers. (which is what she accused me of) TWI received at least one letter from another believer informing them of what this couple had done to him on a previous assignment. She even told me that! So it wasn't like they didn't know.....

It's been hard for me to write about it. It's been 8 years, and it still hurts. I feel better about myself now, and I've come to the realization she didn't know what she was talking about.....

I wonder how she'd respond if someone did that to her?

Maybe someone did, and that's why she does what she does........

Edited October 6, 2006 by lori

[Abe]

Thank you bagpipes. Yes I'm too very thankful for GSC. Its given me the boost that I needed. Bigger and more loving, energetic, electric, than any Energy Drink, coffee, or sugar drink ever could.

I was sooo happy when I got in the Word in 1982 and sooo happy when I left Twi in 2002. God loves us so much. I'm getting back to the man I've always wanted to be.

What has happened to LCM; ruined his family, publicly disgraced. He deserved all of it.

I just want to help others like that one special person helped me at one time.

[I Love Bagpipes]

Abe, I too am finding my "first love" again...and my heart. It's nice to not be alone on this journey, as I know many folks were who left TWI awhile back.

((((Lori)))) I hope that as you are able to process (whatever that means for you) that the pain dissolves. I wonder if the lady of whom you speak is still in twi? Whether she is or isn't, I hope she has seen/sees the error with which she was manipulated and has changed. Look forward to meeting you in TX!!!!! (Cram that keyboard in your suitcase... )