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Name that TV Show [EZ quotes only]


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"Wow, look at all these people playing right now!"

"Yeah, it's bull crap. I bet half of these people are Koreans!"

"Whoever this person is, he's played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past two years. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life."

"How do you kill that which has no life?"

"We can't give the Sword of a Thousand Truths to a newb!"

"If you had a chance right now to go back in time and stop Hitler, would you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him because I think he was awesome, but YOU would, right?"

"I'm just going to stop playing."

"When Hitler rose to power, there were a lot of people who just stopped playing. You know who those people were? The French. Are you French, Clyde?"

"No."

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, Clyde?"

"Okay, all right, I'll do it!"

All of those were from the World of Warcraft episode.

"Congratulations! You played Guitar Hero enough to score one million points!"

The Guitar Hero episode.

"Dolphins and whales were framed by the real bombers. A chicken and a cow."

"Chicken and Cow? CHICKEN AND COW?!"

"CHICKEN AND COW USED POOR DOLPHIN AND WHALE AS A SCAPEGOAT?! THIS IS OUTRAGE!"

The Japanese have been killing dolphins and whales for decades. Apparently, the US government

told them a dolphin and a whale were the bombers of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

So Stan had them be shown a pic of a chicken and a cow piloting the Enola Gay,

so now the Japanese wipe out chickens and cows. Now they're normal like us. ;)

"Hi, Billy Mays here for the little Country Handy Pillow. Are you tired of sitting in limbo? Lost somewhere between planes of existence? Well now there's a product that can help you--"

The "limbo" episode. Michael Jackson refuses to move on. Other celebrities are stuck

waiting for him, like Billy Mays...

"'....I love you all, but I have to move on. I'm going to Somalia to be--to be a pirate'? Oh, sh*!"

The Somalia/pirates episode. Cartman leads some kids to Somalia to become pirates.

IIRC, this episode is called "Fatbeard."

"Who is Mysterion?"

"Who is The Coon?"

The episode is "The Coon." Cartman's a raccoon-themed superhero. Another hero, Mysterion, appears in

South Park- another kid whose a dark vigilante of the night, a dark knight, so to speak.

Mysterion could be any of dozens of characters. Someone's narrowed down The Coon's identity

to Cartman, Rich Villanch, and Harvey Fierstein.

"I'm not doing it. Being in a dance group is totally conformist."

"Yeah, I'm not conforming to some dance-off regulations.

"I'm not doing it either. I'm the biggest non-conformist of all.

"I'm such a non-conformist that I'm not going to conform with the rest of you. Okay, I'll do it.

"Great!"

".....Whoa. I think we just got put in our place.

"Yeah, we just got goth-served."

The "You Got Served" episode, with Stan trying to form a dance group to compete with another town.

One of his dancers is one of those goth kids.

"The Disney purity ring venture will most likely now prove a marketing bust, as Mickey returns to Valhalla to slumber and feed."

The Jonas Brothers/Disney/Purity Ring episode. When Mickey Mouse's scheme is revealed, he goes on

a flying rampage like Mothra or something.

"....Bugs Bunny and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around till long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us."

"I'm supposed to be in school right now, but instead I have Snarf, Popeye, and Luke Skywalker all ....ed off."

Both from the 3 part movie, Imaginationland.

"It's like a half-man, half-bear!"

"And half-pig!"

Also from Imaginationland, but ManBearPig earlier appeared in the episode

with his own name.

"I'm pretty sure killing Jesus is not very Christian."

"The Hare Club for Men."

The DaVinci Code spoof. The great secret Randy Marsh and others keep is that Peter, the first

Pope, was a rabbit ("Peter Rabbit"), as seen when examining "The Last Supper".

Their secret group, which guards one of his bunny descendants, is called

"the Hare Club for Men."

At one point, the counter-cult (which is inside the Roman Catholic Church) comes out of hiding

to wipe them out, and tries to convince Pope Benedict XVI to follow their advice.

He stops entirely when Jesus himself shows up and demands they stop-

and the conspirators imprison him and plan his execution (again.)

Pope Benedict gets to say that killing Jesus is not Christian.

"That kid's got as much hope as Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays."

"This is too big a mystery for me, I think we better call in the Hardly Boys!"

"Oh no, not the God d*--"

"The Hardly Boys: two young whippersnappers with a taste for solving mysteries. The Hardly Boys in: The Case of the World Trade Center Conspiracy."

The 911 conspiracy episode.

"What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!"

Who else but Cartman would say that? This was the episode that Mrs Cartman desperately tried to

fix Eric's behavior. After he puts "Nanny 911" and "SuperNanny" in the sanitarium,

she turns to the man who succeeds- Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer.

We actually learn a lot about Cartman's behavior, and get a cameo wave to the old movie

"Altered States" as Cartman actually becomes a better person.

"Because they're people and you're a towel."

"YOU'RE a towel!"

"No, I'm a big book publisher whos not the least bit interested in your stony memoirs, you're a towel."

"Towelie" is the only towel on television. He wrote his memoirs.

"I'll sue you! I'll sue you in England!"

Tom Cruise threatening to sue the South Park characters at the end of the episode where Tom Cruise

won't come out of the closet, leaving Stan with no access to his own closet.

(He ends up with Travolta and R Kelly in it, too-after they try to talk him out.)

It's also the episode, IIRC, where Stan becomes the leader of the Scientologists by accident.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Since Katie (Gen-2) is apparently having some sort of brain surgery (Godspeed, Katie), I'll jump in:

"How long've you been in the tow business?"

"Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was an engineer, fact of the day."

"As in trains?"

"Space shuttles."

"I went back to check on my own, personal files, and they've been classified. I mean, my files."

"It's not my fault that there are things about yourself that you're just not cleared to know."

"Yeah, I'd hate to stumble across something that if I told me, I'd have to kill me."

"I figured it all out. I know what you're up to."

"In regards to...?"

"I know that you have a device that can... create a wormhole, or, uh, bend time, or make you invisible... or a wormholing, time-bending, invisibling device, that shields you from the mind."

"Yes, he said "invisibling"."

George

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"How long've you been in the tow business?"

"Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was an engineer, fact of the day."

"As in trains?"

"Space shuttles."

"I went back to check on my own, personal files, and they've been classified. I mean, my files."

"It's not my fault that there are things about yourself that you're just not cleared to know."

"Yeah, I'd hate to stumble across something that if I told me, I'd have to kill me."

"I figured it all out. I know what you're up to."

"In regards to...?"

"I know that you have a device that can... create a wormhole, or, uh, bend time, or make you invisible... or a wormholing, time-bending, invisibling device, that shields you from the mind."

"Yes, he said "invisibling"."

I probably shouldn't have started this,since I'll be out of touch until Monday evening, but feel free to go ahead!

George

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"I'm sure you were great in the last town you worked in,"

"America, Fargo. I was a US Marshall, my last town was America."

"Smart mice. IQ's through the roof. Little varmints used vector formulas to keep me off their tracks."

"How'd you catch them?"

"Smart cheese."

"How long've you been in the tow business?"

"Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was an engineer, fact of the day."

"As in trains?"

"Space shuttles."

"I went back to check on my own, personal files, and they've been classified. I mean, my files."

"It's not my fault that there are things about yourself that you're just not cleared to know."

"Yeah, I'd hate to stumble across something that if I told me, I'd have to kill me."

"I figured it all out. I know what you're up to."

"In regards to...?"

"I know that you have a device that can... create a wormhole, or, uh, bend time, or make you invisible... or a wormholing, time-bending, invisibling device, that shields you from the mind."

"Yes, he said "invisibling"."

George

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This is a current show, on cable.

"SARAH's gone HAL on us!"

"Thank you for making me and my dad a part of your family. I promise to do my share of the chores, and I'll try not to blow up the world if you don't."

"Taggart said the combustion was caused by meson particles coming from a solar flare. I'm no astrophysicist but I don't think there are a lot of solar flares inside a house."

"I'm sure you were great in the last town you worked in,"

"America, Fargo. I was a US Marshall, my last town was America."

"Smart mice. IQ's through the roof. Little varmints used vector formulas to keep me off their tracks."

"How'd you catch them?"

"Smart cheese."

"How long've you been in the tow business?"

"Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was an engineer, fact of the day."

"As in trains?"

"Space shuttles."

"I went back to check on my own, personal files, and they've been classified. I mean, my files."

"It's not my fault that there are things about yourself that you're just not cleared to know."

"Yeah, I'd hate to stumble across something that if I told me, I'd have to kill me."

"I figured it all out. I know what you're up to."

"In regards to...?"

"I know that you have a device that can... create a wormhole, or, uh, bend time, or make you invisible... or a wormholing, time-bending, invisibling device, that shields you from the mind."

"Yes, he said "invisibling"."

George

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Sarah Jane Smith Adventures?

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That's one I'd never heard of. After googling, it appears to be a BBC show. This one is American.

"Jo, Jo, Jo! Don't shoot the prisoner. Don't."

"How about I just wing him?"

1 "Okay, what do you mean, they're stupid?"

2 "I mean, stupid. Like, like (acts 'stupid') stupid."

1 "Carter, you can't catch stupid."

3 "This may be my favorite conversation of all time."

"Besides, extracting AL26 from moon rocks would require a highly sophisticated process, you’d have to be especially trained…"

"You mean like everyone in town?"

"Gotcha. I’ll check it out."

"SARAH's gone HAL on us!"

"Thank you for making me and my dad a part of your family. I promise to do my share of the chores, and I'll try not to blow up the world if you don't."

"Taggart said the combustion was caused by meson particles coming from a solar flare. I'm no astrophysicist but I don't think there are a lot of solar flares inside a house."

"I'm sure you were great in the last town you worked in,"

"America, Fargo. I was a US Marshall, my last town was America."

"Smart mice. IQ's through the roof. Little varmints used vector formulas to keep me off their tracks."

"How'd you catch them?"

"Smart cheese."

"How long've you been in the tow business?"

"Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was an engineer, fact of the day."

"As in trains?"

"Space shuttles."

"I went back to check on my own, personal files, and they've been classified. I mean, my files."

"It's not my fault that there are things about yourself that you're just not cleared to know."

"Yeah, I'd hate to stumble across something that if I told me, I'd have to kill me."

"I figured it all out. I know what you're up to."

"In regards to...?"

"I know that you have a device that can... create a wormhole, or, uh, bend time, or make you invisible... or a wormholing, time-bending, invisibling device, that shields you from the mind."

"Yes, he said "invisibling"."

George

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Figured it was SyFy channel. Funny thought it was Warehouse 13 or Sanctuary, or even Haven.

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  • 4 months later...

Let's get this started again.

"It's not illegal to cheat a cheater."

"Don't be so gullible next time."

"Look who's talking. You thought that sleeping together meant I loved you."

Matt's really different. He's just so..."

"Blind."

"I was gonna say warm, genuine and completely..."

"Without sight."

George

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  • 2 weeks later...

"I hate funerals. Pretending to mourn for someone you despise. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not me, I like pretending."

"Now that we know that Monica left it all to charity, I kinda feel like maybe she was just misunderstood."

"Really? I feel like maybe she was just a b-tch."

"Okay, the main air ducts lead to the central system. From there I can take any branch and drop into the lobby. It's about a 20-plus foot drop so... I'll probably break my leg - maybe both, but that's okay. This is good. This is a good plan. Somebody uh, give me a screwdriver."

"It's not illegal to cheat a cheater."

"Don't be so gullible next time."

"Look who's talking. You thought that sleeping together meant I loved you."

Matt's really different. He's just so..."

"Blind."

"I was gonna say warm, genuine and completely..."

"Without sight."

George

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"Danny, welcome to the family."

"Excuse me, what?"

"If I catch you looking at another girl, take a poison pill, because I'll kill ya."

"Do you really think you should have your feet up on Big Ed's desk?"

"Big Ed's probably at a luau right now patting down Don Ho, but don't you worry, ladies. Big Danny's here."

"Oh, my God. The boss isn't gone five minutes, he's already gone mad!"

"Do you know what it's like to have Big Ed Deline breathing down your neck every second of the day?"

"Well, yeah."

"That's right. I forgot. He did catch us in bed. It was fun. We should do it again sometime!"

"I hate funerals. Pretending to mourn for someone you despise. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not me, I like pretending."

"Now that we know that Monica left it all to charity, I kinda feel like maybe she was just misunderstood."

"Really? I feel like maybe she was just a b-tch."

"Okay, the main air ducts lead to the central system. From there I can take any branch and drop into the lobby. It's about a 20-plus foot drop so... I'll probably break my leg - maybe both, but that's okay. This is good. This is a good plan. Somebody uh, give me a screwdriver."

"It's not illegal to cheat a cheater."

"Don't be so gullible next time."

"Look who's talking. You thought that sleeping together meant I loved you."

Matt's really different. He's just so..."

"Blind."

"I was gonna say warm, genuine and completely..."

"Without sight."

George

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • modcat5 changed the title to Name that TV Show [EZ quotes only]

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