"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
"I actually do think that Wikipedia is an amazing thing. It is the first place I go when I’m looking for knowledge, or when I want to create some."
"Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'."
"Which brings me to threat number one: gravity. It is not enough--it is not enough that everyone in the mainstream media is against this President. Now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon? 'Course, I've known about gravity's liberal bias ever since my tenth grade science teacher, Mr. Stamp, dropped a bowling ball and a feather in a vacuum. Bowling ball should definitely have won. There's only one way that feather could keep up: affirmative action. Point is, we've lost gravity to the liberals, folks; but inertia, I hope you're listening! You of all principles of physics should know to stay the course."
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
...
"S...? What about senior partners? There would be nothing wrong with me, lusting, say, after... you? Would there?"
"Go subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit. Add to that list, S....(me)"
(on phone) "I'm very angry that your mother paid us a surprise visit.....No, I don't hate your mother; I don't know your mother. I hate surprises!"
"Do you know that periwinkle is also an intracoastal mussel?"
"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll wing it."
"Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, distinguishing them from the rest of the general population. And that is, somebody wants them dead."
"What about my Probe? Exactly what image was that suppose to transfer, 'cause all I'm getting is paper dress, metal stirrups and legs a-kimbo. Exactly what was the thought process behind that marketing coup? (Impersonates a Ford marketing exec) Say Bob, what's a metaphor for an invasive, somewhat humiliating procedure 'cause we really need something to compete with the Chevy Speculum."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
"Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work."
"I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!"
"Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes."
"Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!'
" 'James Buchanan' is not anywhere. It's in Bensonhurst, which is in Brooklyn, which is where I spent four degenerate years as a student. You know how rough that is? The gangs there don't use guns. They insert the bullets manually."
"So nobody did it. I think we should put a candle in the window, because the last time this happened, three wise men came from the east."
"I feel like this is just the beginning. Today, Buchanan, tomorrow, who knows? Governor Barbarino, Senator Barbarino, Emperor Barbarino!
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
673
121
199
484
Popular Days
Dec 7
18
Nov 29
14
Nov 9
12
Sep 5
12
Top Posters In This Topic
GeorgeStGeorge 673 posts
Raf 121 posts
hiway29 199 posts
WordWolf 484 posts
Popular Days
Dec 7 2006
18 posts
Nov 29 2006
14 posts
Nov 9 2006
12 posts
Sep 5 2006
12 posts
Popular Posts
Raf
Wow. This one's been dormant for a while... "Uh I've just been handed a news flash. The word "Canada" is unrhymeable. It's easier to - I don't know - get drunk and try to climb a bull
WordWolf
I'll go with "Trust no one" being an X-Files quote.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
Right you are.
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Ok, here's a quote we haven't done before......
"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Thomas Loy Bumgarner
Jeff Foxworthy from Blue Collar Tour, or from Seinfeld. Has to be a comedian, or could be George Carlin.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Seinfeld is the only series you mentioned.
It's not Seinfeld.
For free, I'll throw in that it's not Foxworthy or Carlin either.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
"I actually do think that Wikipedia is an amazing thing. It is the first place I go when I’m looking for knowledge, or when I want to create some."
"Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'."
"Which brings me to threat number one: gravity. It is not enough--it is not enough that everyone in the mainstream media is against this President. Now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon? 'Course, I've known about gravity's liberal bias ever since my tenth grade science teacher, Mr. Stamp, dropped a bowling ball and a feather in a vacuum. Bowling ball should definitely have won. There's only one way that feather could keep up: affirmative action. Point is, we've lost gravity to the liberals, folks; but inertia, I hope you're listening! You of all principles of physics should know to stay the course."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bulwinkl
Sounds like Colbert Report to me
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
"The Glenn Beck Show"?
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Bingo.
The "flag" was Colbert's comments about never seeing race- people tell him about it and he
supposes they're correct...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bulwinkl
"How can you ban red meat?"
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
I know I've heard that exchange.
"King of the Hill"?
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bulwinkl
ahhh nope
"How can you ban red meat?"
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bulwinkl
"How can you ban red meat?"
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
...
"S...? What about senior partners? There would be nothing wrong with me, lusting, say, after... you? Would there?"
"Go subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit. Add to that list, S....(me)"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
"Boston Legal"?
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bulwinkl
you got it George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
(on phone) "I'm very angry that your mother paid us a surprise visit.....No, I don't hate your mother; I don't know your mother. I hate surprises!"
"Do you know that periwinkle is also an intracoastal mussel?"
"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll wing it."
"Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, distinguishing them from the rest of the general population. And that is, somebody wants them dead."
"What about my Probe? Exactly what image was that suppose to transfer, 'cause all I'm getting is paper dress, metal stirrups and legs a-kimbo. Exactly what was the thought process behind that marketing coup? (Impersonates a Ford marketing exec) Say Bob, what's a metaphor for an invasive, somewhat humiliating procedure 'cause we really need something to compete with the Chevy Speculum."
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Is this "the 4400"?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
No. Right network, though. It's a current show.
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
"Invasion"?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
Sorry. I'm going to be out of town for a week. It was "In Plain Sight."
Please, someone take my turn.
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Ok, let's see.....
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
Edited by WordWolfLink to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
Edited by WordWolfLink to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
"Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work."
"I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!"
"Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes."
"Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!'
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
"Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work."
"I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!"
"Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes."
"Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!'
" 'James Buchanan' is not anywhere. It's in Bensonhurst, which is in Brooklyn, which is where I spent four degenerate years as a student. You know how rough that is? The gangs there don't use guns. They insert the bullets manually."
"So nobody did it. I think we should put a candle in the window, because the last time this happened, three wise men came from the east."
"I feel like this is just the beginning. Today, Buchanan, tomorrow, who knows? Governor Barbarino, Senator Barbarino, Emperor Barbarino!
You know, Julius Caesar was an Italian."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.