advice or opinions needed

[Sunnyfla]

I hope it ok to post this topic here :blink:

I work with someone that could possibly be a nice friend. But, I think she just wants me to go to her church.

I remember being like that when I was in twi. I befriended people just to get them to twig. I really hated doing that and I don't appreciate anyone doing that to me. It feels so insincere.

She makes a point to find me to eat breakfast or lunch with her and talks about everyday stuff. She'll do this for a few weeks or so, then invites me to her church, which happens to be at least 45mins North of me.

I like her because she's not into gossip or speaks ill of anyone, which in todays society in very refreshing.

She also knows that I used to be in a cult. But, she obviously doesn't realize that I use to use the same tactics to get people to come to church with me.

She's been involved with the Church of Christ all her life. In fact, it's her family history. It's all she knows and of course doesn't believe it has cult behaviors. Just like how we used to be.

She's invited me several times within the past year. Each time I give her an excuse of not going. I really don't want to be rude to her.

I've heard from people who got out of that religion that it's a cult and very mind controling. I have also found this website.....

www.ex-churchofchrist.com

It's reminds me of twi. It's a little freaky.

I don't know guys... I know I'm going to have to eventually sit down with her and make myself more clear about how I feel. I recently told her that I KNOW how it feels to really want someone to attend church with you and that you feel the need to help that individual see the light.

But again... she clearly does not understand where I came from.

Sorry to make this long, but only you guys could help in this situation.. I hope.

Thanks, Frances

[George Aar]

Maybe I'm the wrong one to be giving advice Sunny, but I really don't see the problem.

Hell, just get HONEST with her. Tell her just what you've said here.

Geeze Pete, it makes my head spin the amount of hoops we jump through so as not to say anything that anyone might find the least bit abrasive. Gawd, just tell the truth...

[Tom Strange]

Dear Wondering in Florida,

yeah. what George said, be honest...

And while you're at it, did it ever occur to you that this could just be "all in your head"? ...the part about her 'motive' being to recruit you to her church I mean.

To me it sounds like she's genuinely interested in you and wants to take it to 'the next level'... and since her church is such an integral part of her life, she wants to experience that with you... (I've heard there are women out there like that)... if you can deal with that experience, great... if not, let her know...

Either way, as George said, just "put it out there" and let her know where you're coming from... where your doubts and concerns are...

From what you've written she sounds like a nice human. If you feel like taking it to the next level as well... do it.

Dr. Tom

[Sunnyfla]

Thank you Dr. Tom and George :)

I didn't want my post to be too long, but what I didn't explain was that she is convinced that her church is the right one. She never wants to hear what others have to say about thier churches or beliefs. She's never mean about it, but she has a way of knocking other beliefs and the way people do things at their church down.

So, it's not just in my head. She has in the past played the ignor card a few times to me when I didn't go to something she has invited me too. In other words, barely speak to me or make any conversation. So, you see what I'm saying?

I'm sure she likes me and would like me involved in her church to be on more common grounds maybe, but I feel that if I do tell her how I really feel then that will be the end of our nice talks and hanging out times.

I hate loseing friends over religion :( It certainly brings back bad memories.

Wond--ering

Edited August 18, 2006 by Sunnyfla

[bliss]

My dearest sunny fla

TRUE FRIENDS DON'T LEAVE because of religion.

Pray for her, like Job did his friends. Tell her that you enjoy her company as a friend and sister in Christ. Tell her that you do not want to go to anything that reminds you of abuse in the name of God.

Like Nike says, Just do it!

If she departs and doesn't want to talk with you, keep talking to her, or just pray. All you can do girl.

I agree with the brothers...................be honest. Maybe she'll start questioning her beliefs .....who knows?

"Friends don't let friends join cults".

love

bliss

[Sunnyfla]

Thanks Bliss,

I will pray for her and the situation. That was good about not wanting to get involved with anything that reminds me of abuse in the name of God. I will talk to her.

Thank you my dear friend

[Tom Strange]

I have nothing else to add but... good luck!