I just don't have the attention span I used to have and this whatever you want to call it, surfaces rather fast when it comes to meeting people...
I usually don't do myself an injustice by not paying attention, cause I usually learn from you, but one can lose me real fast. I don't suffer fools' well I suppose.
Perhaps its my work? Some days it's high speed and other days it crawls, and again this carries over to my personal life as well.
I know of one maybe two people I can call friends, and unfortunately for me, I haven't seen them in over 30 years...but I guarantee you, that if they asked or if I'd ask, we would be there for each other in a heartbeat.
Honesty as you mentioned is the key for me too.
Two rules apply here: 1) Don't lie to me & 2) don't steal from me
Other than that, the rest usually takes care of itself...oh and #3:...please use a deodorant.
Ya know, I was born and raised in a very small southern town. The kids I graduated from high school with are the same kids I was in daycare with, went to kindergarten and church with. We were like one huge family, closer to some than others, but we mostly all pulled together to help each other.
I grew up taking for granted friendships and being a friend. I have always tried to be a good friend and going out on a limb, doing whatever my "friend" needed or wanted. It was a rude awakening to realize that everyone doesn't treasure friends like I do/did.
I was so lonely in TWI because I knew those folks wouldn't help me and didn't care about me, really. One of my "friends" in TWI was left in prison for days because the BC wouldn't bail her out and told everyone who called to check on her that he was taking care of everything. It's a long story, but she should have NEVER been in prison to begin with. Even the Moynihans ignored the situation, left her in there and didn't even check on her when she was released. It took her roommate coming back to town three days later and "bucking the system" - going against the BC's commands and bailing her out.
If I had known, I would have bailed her out, but the "closed system" of TWI made sure nobody who would help her knew about the situation. This, despite the fact that she "turned me in" several times for going on the internet, saying things against TWI leadership, etc.
I wanted to help people so many times, but had my hands tied by my ex.
Now that I'm free from TWIt brains, I am able to help folks when I want to. I've reconnected with quite a few friends and THOSE are the true friends - those are the folks who I can call at 3am if I need help. My neighbors have done exactly that a few times over the past two years.
Sadly, though, experiences like we had in TWI have the potential to jade us. It has, on the other hand, taught us to be more discriminating about who we share our lives with and how much we give to certain relationships. I'm still too trusting and too open with folks, but I reckon I subscribe to Tom Strange's signature, "I'd rather have something to regret than nothing to remember."
There's nothing like having someone to support you when you're down, to share in your joys when you're up and to "be there" when ya feel like talking about anything.
I value my old and new friendships with people.
Recently, I caught an old friend in a lie. She knows how I feel about lying
I wasn't angry, just disappointed. Makes me wonder if she's lied to me about other things... makes me distrustful of her now.
By nature, I'm an open book and easy to get along with. There's never any reason to lie.
Can't expect acquaintances to conduct relationships on "friendship rules". I'm thankful to the ones who have acted in the capacity of a friend when friends were unavailable. Still, bounderies need to be limited with acquiantances.
The acquaintences I know let me take cuts in the grocery store (my lack of time is common knowledge in my community). When discovering I'm $1.00 short to buy a gym uniform while standing in a line at school, they offer a buck (which I repay). They seem like nice people but they are not my "friends". I would never bear my soul to them under any of the circumstances that define our acquaintance. I learned this the hard way.
I thank God every day for my friends, but rarely pray for the acquaintance... hmm.... maybe I should.
I'm so glad my friends don't subscribe to that notion either or many of them wouldn't be my friends any more. ^_^
I can be pretty stupid sometimes and so can they. The awesome thing about great friends is, we know all the dirt, all the warts, where all the bodies are buried and love each other anyway. :wub:
It takes many acts of kindness to build a friendship, but only one stupid act to end it.
I disagree...it wasn't a friendship to begin with if it only takes one thing. I thought I had my first true friend these last few years. I bent over backwords for her and cut her slack all the time. I did one thing wrong (at least wrong in her eyes) and she refuses to talk to me now or be my friend. She was no friend at all to begin with.
"Friendship" as a concept was ignored in twi because the concept cuts across religious affiliations.
So sorry for the breaking up of friendships caused by twi. Friendships don't break because of time, but because people's hearts are broken, which is what twi did to people. A perfect example is as Belle spoke of where people cannot exercise their friendly compassion for one another.
I thank God that my three close friends stuck in and out of twi -- although I surely tested their friendship by my ridiculous twi mind set.
I did a study on friendship when I was in twi and could not find twi affiliation in there.
The concept of friend is very biblical. Even wicked Haman had his friends.
Another topic that is close to friendship is blood brothers. A girlfriend and I did this (we were about 12 I think), and even though it's been over 50 years since I have seen her (both moved away from that neighborhood), I pray for her and wish her well upon every remembrance.
p.s. I think soldiers develop strong friendships because they have their lives on the line for one another, and this goes beyond rank. I am very thankful for the US Marine Corps for teaching son Paul how to be a true friend.
Recommended Posts
oilfieldmedic
Man, its gotta' be my old age or something...
I just don't have the attention span I used to have and this whatever you want to call it, surfaces rather fast when it comes to meeting people...
I usually don't do myself an injustice by not paying attention, cause I usually learn from you, but one can lose me real fast. I don't suffer fools' well I suppose.
Perhaps its my work? Some days it's high speed and other days it crawls, and again this carries over to my personal life as well.
I know of one maybe two people I can call friends, and unfortunately for me, I haven't seen them in over 30 years...but I guarantee you, that if they asked or if I'd ask, we would be there for each other in a heartbeat.
Honesty as you mentioned is the key for me too.
Two rules apply here: 1) Don't lie to me & 2) don't steal from me
Other than that, the rest usually takes care of itself...oh and #3:...please use a deodorant.
God Bless, Love ya!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
Good topic, SOGWAP! :)
Ya know, I was born and raised in a very small southern town. The kids I graduated from high school with are the same kids I was in daycare with, went to kindergarten and church with. We were like one huge family, closer to some than others, but we mostly all pulled together to help each other.
I grew up taking for granted friendships and being a friend. I have always tried to be a good friend and going out on a limb, doing whatever my "friend" needed or wanted. It was a rude awakening to realize that everyone doesn't treasure friends like I do/did.
I was so lonely in TWI because I knew those folks wouldn't help me and didn't care about me, really. One of my "friends" in TWI was left in prison for days because the BC wouldn't bail her out and told everyone who called to check on her that he was taking care of everything. It's a long story, but she should have NEVER been in prison to begin with. Even the Moynihans ignored the situation, left her in there and didn't even check on her when she was released. It took her roommate coming back to town three days later and "bucking the system" - going against the BC's commands and bailing her out.
If I had known, I would have bailed her out, but the "closed system" of TWI made sure nobody who would help her knew about the situation.
This, despite the fact that she "turned me in" several times for going on the internet, saying things against TWI leadership, etc.
I wanted to help people so many times, but had my hands tied by my ex.
Now that I'm free from TWIt brains, I am able to help folks when I want to. I've reconnected with quite a few friends and THOSE are the true friends - those are the folks who I can call at 3am if I need help. My neighbors have done exactly that a few times over the past two years.
Sadly, though, experiences like we had in TWI have the potential to jade us. It has, on the other hand, taught us to be more discriminating about who we share our lives with and how much we give to certain relationships. I'm still too trusting and too open with folks, but I reckon I subscribe to Tom Strange's signature, "I'd rather have something to regret than nothing to remember."
Snow Cone??
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
Medic-----Youv'e got my vote!(Though it's mighty tempting to rotate that deodorant rule into the #1 spot.) BTW---Welcome home.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sushi
The difference between an acquaintance and a friend:
An acquaintance will help you move.
A friend will help you move a dead body.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
LOL Sushi. That reminds me I've been meaning to call you.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Amazingrace
Nice thread.
There's nothing like having someone to support you when you're down, to share in your joys when you're up and to "be there" when ya feel like talking about anything.
I value my old and new friendships with people.
Recently, I caught an old friend in a lie. She knows how I feel about lying
I wasn't angry, just disappointed. Makes me wonder if she's lied to me about other things... makes me distrustful of her now.
By nature, I'm an open book and easy to get along with. There's never any reason to lie.
Can't expect acquaintances to conduct relationships on "friendship rules". I'm thankful to the ones who have acted in the capacity of a friend when friends were unavailable. Still, bounderies need to be limited with acquiantances.
The acquaintences I know let me take cuts in the grocery store (my lack of time is common knowledge in my community). When discovering I'm $1.00 short to buy a gym uniform while standing in a line at school, they offer a buck (which I repay). They seem like nice people but they are not my "friends". I would never bear my soul to them under any of the circumstances that define our acquaintance. I learned this the hard way.
I thank God every day for my friends, but rarely pray for the acquaintance... hmm.... maybe I should.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Stayed Too Long
It takes many acts of kindness to build a friendship, but only one stupid act to end it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
krys
Right you are STL, indeed!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
Me too, ex. :)
I'm so glad my friends don't subscribe to that notion either or many of them wouldn't be my friends any more. ^_^
I can be pretty stupid sometimes and so can they. The awesome thing about great friends is, we know all the dirt, all the warts, where all the bodies are buried and love each other anyway. :wub:
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SafariVista
Nerve zapping topic for me right now...
I have a lot to say... but not the energy to say it...
I don't understand how a 'FRIENDSHIP' can be miss-used greatly, if it's a two way friendship.
I also think some of the friends I thought I had in TWI are still bewitched by a cult mentality... and it is painful :(
Link to comment
Share on other sites
oilfieldmedic
Thanks Waysider...I tend to agree about the deodarant too
BTW I am back in paradise again
Link to comment
Share on other sites
qtana
I disagree...it wasn't a friendship to begin with if it only takes one thing. I thought I had my first true friend these last few years. I bent over backwords for her and cut her slack all the time. I did one thing wrong (at least wrong in her eyes) and she refuses to talk to me now or be my friend. She was no friend at all to begin with.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
krys
I'm not sure we're all talking about the same thing when we use the term "friend".
Maybe we should have an extra category in here so that we have close friends - friends - acquaintances.
We all have many that we might call friends instead of acquaintances, but very few we are really very tightly connected with.
Maybe that's where our different perspectives come from.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SafariVista
So, Alabama is Paradise? Hope you're doing well
Link to comment
Share on other sites
oilfieldmedic
uh...no, unfortunately I am back in Baghdad...Alabama-paradise? Nawww!
Edited by oilfieldmedicLink to comment
Share on other sites
Kit Sober
"Friendship" as a concept was ignored in twi because the concept cuts across religious affiliations.
So sorry for the breaking up of friendships caused by twi. Friendships don't break because of time, but because people's hearts are broken, which is what twi did to people. A perfect example is as Belle spoke of where people cannot exercise their friendly compassion for one another.
I thank God that my three close friends stuck in and out of twi -- although I surely tested their friendship by my ridiculous twi mind set.
I did a study on friendship when I was in twi and could not find twi affiliation in there.
The concept of friend is very biblical. Even wicked Haman had his friends.
Another topic that is close to friendship is blood brothers. A girlfriend and I did this (we were about 12 I think), and even though it's been over 50 years since I have seen her (both moved away from that neighborhood), I pray for her and wish her well upon every remembrance.
p.s. I think soldiers develop strong friendships because they have their lives on the line for one another, and this goes beyond rank. I am very thankful for the US Marine Corps for teaching son Paul how to be a true friend.
Hopefully,
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.