Hello fellow forum members I'm new

[Noni1974]

Hello I'm Noni1974,

This site was recomended to me by someone on another fourm.I'm an EX-Jehovahs Witness or as we are commanly called EX JW.I've been told there are some simularitys between your former religion and mine.I'm here to read and see what they are.I've never heard of your religion before so I have some catching up to do.

Well heres my story.I was born a JW.My Mom is third generation and my dad is second but was not raised as one he and his father converted at the same time.I have one brother who shunns me and one sister who shunns me.My Mom's family totaly shunns me unless a family emergancy comes up then they are polity and speak some but not much.I'm concidered an Apostate.

I'm lucker than most because my parents still talk to me everyday and I'm very much in there lives.I got baptized to please my family because it was expected of me.I was 18 or 19 I've all but blocked it out.I hated going door to door but I used to do that because I was expected to.I never really felt right or accepted by my congergation.I always felt like an outsider.I had few freinds growning up.I was not allowed to accociate with other kids my own age unless they too were JW.All I really wanted was to be free to be me and not feel like I have to hide my true personality from people.I stopped going to the Kindom Hall when I moved out of my parents house.But due to things happening I had to move back about 6 months later.My Mom told me I HAD to go to the meeting if I wanted to live in their house and I had to follow the rules.I told my Mom that day I felt trapped by their expectations and I wanted out.She went to the elders and told on me.I wrote a dissacoiation letter the next day.I mailed it to the Kindom Hall.The Elders tryed to call me and talk me out of it.I would have non of it I told them I said what I wanted in the letter and I have nothing more to say.I was 23 at the time.I was allowed to move back in with my parents but I made sure they didn't run my life anymore.I stayed with freinds as much as I could just to get away from them telling me I'm wrong and going to die.

I am now 31 and my parents respect me even if they don't like it.I remind them I'm under no obligation to follow the rules of a religion I don't belong to.Nor do I allow them to degrade my morals.We have finnaly found a happy middle.I now am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend of almost a year.My parents even like him.I found the EX JW disscussion boards around this time last year.I've been learning things I never knew happened.

But I'm intersted in learning about others also thats why I'm here.I want to know as much as I can about mind controlling cults.I want to see if I can find how to get people out.

Feel free to ask any questions if you want I'll answer to the best of my abilitys.But remeber I've been out for 9 years and a lot has changed.I try to keep up but there are always things I'm learning for the first time.

[dmiller]

Noni -- welcome to GreaseSpot. :)

You are one of the more level-headed posters on JWO.

I'm thinking you will fit in here just fine.

If you have any questions to ask of us -- please feel free to do so.

Our horror stories and yours will seem eerily similar.

Here's a cup of coffee for you.

You're always welcome at the Greasespot Cafe.

(PS -- your story sounds like MANY here already).

Edited August 8, 2006 by dmiller

[Noni1974]

Thanks Dmiller I didn't mention your name because I didn't want to get you in trouble for showing me this site.But I'm happy to be here.And yes I am one of the more level headed people at JWO.LOL

[dmiller]

Thanks Dmiller I didn't mention your name because I didn't want to get you in trouble for showing me this site.But I'm happy to be here.And yes I am one of the more level headed people at JWO.LOL

I usually don't get into trouble here. :)

I take the middle road often since (while opinionated), I am willing to learn from others.

Would that that would be the case with all here, but it's not.

And neither is it the case elsewhere.

Mebee that is why I get along over on JWO as well.

Color me *non-confrontational*.

I enjoy hearing all three sides of the story!

[Tom Strange]

sooo.... it was dmiller that gave away our little secret!

we'll have to deal with him "out back" later about that!

welcome Noni...

[Abigail]

It was a pleasure meeting you in Chat. Welcome to the cafe.

[FreeAtLast]

Noni, welcome. It'll be nice to have another vantage point. Now we need to find an ex Mormon. I have had their missionaries at my door and I don't turn them away just because I remember how I felt when I got turned away going door to door. But recently I had to tell them to stop coming. It sucks hours out of your life.

Glad to have you Noni. Glad to see you are breaking the bonds of control

[oldiesman]

Welcome Noni.

My ex-brother in law who was once heavily involved in twi, converted to jw a few years back.

He now has essentially shunned all of us.

Last time I left a message on his phone, I asked him to read "Crisis of Conscience".

Haven't heard from him since.

[Noni1974]

Welcome Noni.

My ex-brother in law who was once heavily involved in twi, converted to jw a few years back.

He now has essentially shunned all of us.

Last time I left a message on his phone, I asked him to read "Crisis of Conscience".

Haven't heard from him since.

Good book I read it.It opened my eye to the way things were really done not the way everyone thought they were done.I'm not suprized you haven't heard from him.He's marked you as an opposer and won't risk his faith to talk to you.

Thanks everyone I've got a ton of questions but I'll try not to bore you with them.

[Happyasaclam]

Noni- welcome.

I dated a standing JW for over a year while I was in TWI - if you can imagine how THAT went! It was earlier in TWI history and during a time that was not quite so draconian for me. But for him ... he had to totally hide our relationship. His folks knew nothing of me .... he lived at home, but I could not call him there. We were spotted once at a restaurant and he about had me dive under the table. The stories he would tell about how he had to report in on this and that ...made me wonder why in the world he could consider this organization of God (excuse me, of Jehova). Then, The Way gradually made the Witnesses seem like pre-school from what I knew. I thought at the time that I would NEVER be involved in a group that made me chart my witnessing activities, answer to elders on every little detail of my life, hide relationships from parents, etc.

One day, it dawned on me that this was exactly where I found myself and worse. It will be fun comparing control stories.

Clam

[coolchef]

noni welcome to the cafe

[Noni1974]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome.

I'll tell you all a little more about my life.I'm a taxi driver from Cleveland, Oh.I was born in Dover, Oh.I grew up poor.My family has lived in cock roach infested trailers in Florida.My Mom is in a nursing home at the moment.Doing well I'm glad to say.I have 27 first cousins all of them shunn me.I have 2 aunts and 1 uncle bye blood still alive.All shunn me.I have 3 aunts and 1 uncle bye marraige all shunn me.My grandfather is still alive he shunns me.I have 2 uncles and 1 aunt and my grandma who have passed on.

I have my Mom and Dad thats about it.I have a really close friend who I call my sister.I really think of her as family.I helped her get off drugs and the streets.I'm not religious which is normal for EX JW's.My life was so controlled before I don't want to even think about religion.JW's only talk to other JW's so I was told who I could have as a freind and who I couldn't.I was told what to wear.How to style my hair.What music I could listen to.Where I could go.But I have to say my family weren't the worst bye any means.Other parents were way more controlling than mine.I at least was allowed to go to public school.Most JW kids now are not allowed to go to public school now.Most are home schooled.I was not allowed to join clubs at school or go to most school events.I was not allowed to joing sports teams or compete with anyone.I was made to go to 5 meetings a week it's only three days a week but the have two diffrant meeting on the same day.Lke Snday would be the Public talk and the Watchtower study then Tuesdaywould be the Bookstudy that one was an hour long meeting studing one of the WTS many books.Thursday would be the service meeting and someting eles but I for the life of me can't remeber what it was.But it was two hours total long.

Then of course there was the feild service.You had to put in an avarage of 15 hours a month.If you didn't you were considered spiritually weak and not shunned but not invited to go places like partys or picinics.

Got to go for now!!!!!!

[waysider]

Sounds like you have had enough "shunning" to last a lifetime. I'm glad you are here and I'm gaining lots of insight on JW from your posts.

[Happyasaclam]

((((((Noni))))))) - Know this, Noni, tho we may never meet, you have friends here! It may take some time, but you will grow to LOVE your life outside of the cage you were raised in. Cherish your best friend and your time with her. Look for support in unsuspecting areas of life, the unusual kind gesture in a normal day. A truely loving God would not lock you up and throw away the key. You are free ... at last!

You will not likely ever gain the love of your family that shuns you ... but God does not shun you. He rejoices at a new life that was saved and that did not grow bitter from the pain caused by His adversary. That's a lot better than any party or picnic that did not include you!

Clam

[Thomas Loy Bumgarner]

Noni, welcome. It'll be nice to have another vantage point. Now we need to find an ex Mormon. I have had their missionaries at my door and I don't turn them away just because I remember how I felt when I got turned away going door to door. But recently I had to tell them to stop coming. It sucks hours out of your life.

Glad to have you Noni. Glad to see you are breaking the bonds of control

Dear free, Templelady/Mo is present Mormon/Latter Day Saints who often posts here. Thomas

[Thomas Loy Bumgarner]

Noni, welcome to the cafe. check out my profile for background info. Simply put, TWI was baptist/reformed-presbyterian/pentecostalist-charismatic/adventist(including Plymouth Brethern and JW)/Unitarian/Bullinger/Word of Faith(Kenyon)/ and both Herbert and Garner Ted Armstrong; all gave influence to The Way International. Hope this helps you. Agape, Thomas

[Noni1974]

((((((Noni))))))) - Know this, Noni, tho we may never meet, you have friends here! It may take some time, but you will grow to LOVE your life outside of the cage you were raised in. Cherish your best friend and your time with her. Look for support in unsuspecting areas of life, the unusual kind gesture in a normal day. A truely loving God would not lock you up and throw away the key. You are free ... at last!

You will not likely ever gain the love of your family that shuns you ... but God does not shun you. He rejoices at a new life that was saved and that did not grow bitter from the pain caused by His adversary. That's a lot better than any party or picnic that did not include you!

Clam

Thank you.I've been out of my cage for 9 years now and I love my freedom more everyday.It's not always easy to be alone.But I have my parents and my friends when I need suport.I would love to reconnect with my other family who shunn me but I value my freedom more.I would never go back to being a JW.

Good news is I called one of my Aunts who has shunned me monday to get a phone number and she talked to me like a normal person.She told me about her daughters getting married.She told me about the man my cousins marrying.She told me she looks forward to seeing me at my family reuion satuerday.I told her I was bring my Boyfriend and she said she looks forward to meeting him.We had a real conversation that did not center around anything JW related.I'm in shock.I'm wondering if my family relationship is going to finally be about family and not about being a JW.I hope so.But I know I can't put any hope or faith in them until I see it .