Apologies to my Twig Forthcoming

[Eagle]

A lot has been said for TWI to apologize for past abuses to its followers that gave up so much to serve the organization. I don't see that coming. But in retrospect, as a former Twig coordinator who followed TWI to the letter, offending so many, and watching my fellowship dwindle from 15 to 2 to finally zero, I realize that I, too, was a part of the problem.

There were those that needed special attention in my fellowship and I decided instead to teach what was ordered ignoring the special need in God's Word for that person. When a local leader told me someone had to attend another fellowship instead of my own because of geographical reasons (or for the fact the local leader saw that other twig dwindle due to abuse), I ordered (did not advise or suggest, but ordered) the believer to attend the other twig.

When I had good music in the twig and was ordered to turn it off in favor of the Way Orchestra or Singing Ladies of the Way, I complied, even if the believers had heard the music a thousand times before.

I stopped my own research into the Word of God, which drew a lot of people for hearing something fresh in favor of leaders banning research and ordering teachings from PFAL collaterals over and over again.

I confronted people on "sin" instead of letting them bear a burden in their soul. It became Judgment Day before the appointed time when attending my twig.

The twig died because I let it happen. I can't even blame TWI. Ultimately, these were my decisions.

To those that I offended in my twig fellowship in Worthington, Ohio from 1988-1992, I would like to extend my sincerest and deepest apologies. You deserved better. As one who was trained in the legalism after the POP, I must accept the fact I let myself be convinced of this abuse as a tool to "spiritually" build believers. I let this happen. Instead, the twig fellowship was like a sandy erosion along a beach, good believers lost in the tide, needing a lifeboat to get back.

I have sworn never to let anyone convince me to spiritually abuse another person for the rest of my days. I know everyone from the fellowship is fine now, checking back on them through friends of mine. And I can only wish God's greatest blessings on them. But I have a hard time forgiving myself for it.

And that is my penance.

Eagle

[dmiller]

Eagle --- you're *good people". ;)

Twi didn't deserve the heart you offered.

[T-Bone]

Kudos to you, Eagle – that is a very courageous and loving thing to do…When you talked about forgiving yourself – I thought of some of the dumb things I’d done while in TWI [all in the name of Christianity]. I thought of the scars we have from our self-inflicted wounds [sins] – some I don’t think will ever go away. Perhaps they are to remind us of our humanity, our fallen nature – a healthy reminder lest we get prideful. And maybe these scars help strengthen our conviction that we will NEVER make a mistake like that again! I also think they give us a real connection with others that have done something similar and are now remorseful – and need a friend to talk things out with and figure out how to make amends.

[waysider]

Eagle-------- As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.--------(I got them there words from The Holy Book!)

[Eagle]

Thanks for the comfort, all.

I began to feel bad about it when I realized people stopped coming by. My first thought might have been what "they could not handle" or something like that...but instead I remembered thinking they can't ALL be wrong...and sat down and reflected on each individual that left.

I was too embarrassed to apologize then. I think I might have sent apologies a couple of years back on a thread. Can't remember. So just in case, here it is. Perhaps it is the best therapy I can think of.

Eagle

[Belle]

(((((Eagle)))))

We were all duped and we all thought that we were doing right. :( I've apologized to those I can but the rest are still afraid I'm possessed.

My first thought might have been what "they could not handle" or something like that...but instead I remembered thinking they can't ALL be wrong...

Would that more people were as astute as you are. :) TWI would be a lot smaller than it already is.

[Eagle]

Belle:

I forgot about the "possesso" people. You're right...can't get past that. Apologies there don't sink in. Can't figure them out.

Eagle

[shazdancer]

I can remember when VPW suggested that people teach the PFAL materials in Twig. (And of course, a suggestion was supposed to be taken as a command!) Musta been around 1980 or even before.

I remember thinking that was for people who didn't know what to teach, or how. I just kept on going with what I thought people needed/wanted to hear about. And taught that abundant sharing was sharing of your abundance. And had communion whenever I thought it was needed.

I think I would've eventually been kicked out 5 times over, if I hadn't walked away first!

Regards,

Shaz

[Eagle]

Shaz:

O independent one...they needed you more than all combined. Had they done what you did...the ministry would have doubled.

If anyone could have given me proper "reproof" back in those days, you could have.

Looking back...I became...so anal...

("Don't move that coffee cup out of the sunlight...there are devil spirits in the shadows!..."

Eagle