Exsie, I just want to say I love you, my friend. Your kindness and grace are a comfort. Thank you.
I don't want to argue about this anymore. I have enough headaches in my life already. I don't come here to get a headache or to be one to someone else...really I don't. Those who "get" my heart, thank you. Those who don't maybe never will.
You gotta understand , it was a different time. Sexual abuse was often not reported. Especially when it's subtle and confusing. Only recently have people who were abused by a parent or relative felt comfortable about coming forward.
I was never involved in the Way Corps, but I did go to college in the seventies. The term 'date rape' wasn't something I'd heard in those years( designated driver was another unheard of term back then too).
I knew lots of girls who got drunk, or had something slipped in a drink and ended up being date raped, though that was not a term we used where I went to school. I remember being warned by older college girls to stay away from parties on certain floors of the men's dorms(oh--drinking age was 18, too) because they had a 'scoreboard' for freshman girls. They would offer lots of free drinks then haul the drunk girl off to a dorm room.
I knew two girls who lost their virginity under really humiliating circumstances, one at a party, one at an outdoor concert--in public view--, and the idea of pressing charges never once came up. Where were their friends,? Bobbi Jo and I wondered. That was our big concern.
My best friend and I did have something slipped in our drinks once. Usually we were careful, we partied with a group of friends and watched out for each other. Lucky for us we had her older sister and sis's boy friend around. At the time we were flirting with some guys from England, though there's no proof they dropped anything in our drinks. We didn't call the police--didn't occur to us. But my dad did call the next day, after my friend's older sister talked us into getting to a doctor, just in case, since we were still out of it...police said there was lots of that happening.
through the years he would call me on the coach and hold my hand and talk to me (about my past and childhood sexual abuse)
he told me i deserved to be loved by a real man of god (instead of what happened to me as a child) and god wanted me healed, etc.
one time he said he would show me my beauty and asked me to remove my blouse, which i did (sorry), but then when he started to "admire" me, i said i'm sorry i can't do this, and i ran off the coach crying
he did not give up. it was still quite a while 'til he got me
All's quiet and well on Animal Farm with the Pigs now that more details were tortured out, an apology has been made for this one's very existence, and this one has dutifully thanked the Pigs.
Yep...whatever...whatever it takes to be right...and have the last word...and make the biggest insult one can think of making...and the biggest ASSumption...yep...whatever...especially so long as one is taking one's meds...whatever...yep...whatever it takes to get satisfaction...'cause otherwise one can't get none nowhere nohow...
This .... is getting old...whatever.
...said the Pigs...
...and if the sow's ear ain't a purse....don't grunt...whatever...
Meds? I don't take any. Have no need for them. Never have.
What about you?
Now for the record, I never asked ANYONE to tell ANYTHING that happened to them. I just defended the original poster cause you and a few others were being total a$$holes. I am now done with this thread. You, I don't really give a rats a$$ about Vyctoria, so you may feel free to say whatever you want from here on out. I'll just sit back and laugh at you.
I believe, instead, that people just don't accept first-hand and/or eye-witness testimony as 'real proof'.
(and this upsets cool waters)
Let me say VPW had plenty of that.. plenty and many just went along with no questions asked.
this is the internet cool waters , two decades have passed. Some have learned to think for their own self without the tactics used in twi.
sometimes folks use a little intelligence and to make up their own minds about situations. God forbid you STILL think that is a wrong concept or way of thinking .. you still have alot of cult group think crap rolled up in you .
and your abusive you call people pigs and names and try to head butt them off anything you do not want to read.
so dont read it.. but no you get nasty and accuse them of something or other.. who does that sound like as well ?
But, hey, I'm not the Queen of GSC or this thread...contrary to popular opinion...tee hee...so do whatever you wanna do...it's a free community here. :)
What is up with the tee hee Cool waters?
you may NOT be the Queen of GSC and trust me your not in my eyes.. but you still are a WANNA be .
Did you ever learn one darn thing from the experience because you out of many on this forum act just like so many did in twi.
just run off anyone who does not understand. It is about loving one another . Bull it is about control and having it all be what you want it to be your way .
I have been following this thread for a while now.
First, Thank you Excath! for even sharing a little tiny bit - I never expected it, nor was I looking for it.
I doubt that anyone who is speaking on this thread today wants to accuse anyone of lying about sexual abuse. I feel strongly that each person in this little riff has good intentions.
Can we all (ALL) take a deep breath and rmember that the real enemy is not flesh and blood. Furthermore, the enemies of the past (VPW, LCM and their minions) will get what is due them.
when he was dead and gone, i did suggest to craig how loving it would be NOT to continue to follow in his footsteps and to stop that kind of stuff (i thought of craig as a a bit more meek and i knew he had been raised up by the father in the word dah dah dah) he wiped the floor with me. oh well
i have only ever had a problem with a spiritual father man of god type using that position especially when the person shared their heart and soul fully about their background and how screwed up they were
What a couple of amoral, manipulative and vicious opportunists.
I have been following this thread for a while now.
First, Thank you Excath! for even sharing a little tiny bit - I never expected it, nor was I looking for it.
I doubt that anyone who is speaking on this thread today wants to accuse anyone of lying about sexual abuse. I feel strongly that each person in this little riff has good intentions.
Can we all (ALL) take a deep breath and rmember that the real enemy is not flesh and blood. Furthermore, the enemies of the past (VPW, LCM and their minions) will get what is due them.
Please?
{{{{dooj}}}}
That deep breath came for me today in the form of very good friends who had no clue how far into this I had gone.
You are right, I do believe, that people on this thread had good intentions. I didn't care. My heart was so hurt...not for me at all...'cause everything that's been said here to me has been said to/about me here...in the past...so often that I really don't 'hear' it these days. But for those who could not bear to stand up under the scrutiny....and the blame...whether real, imagined, self-inflicted, or what...and the fear...and the sorrow...and the memories. It was ripping my heart apart to think of what it must be like on this thread for those who lived through it all. I just couldn't stop. I knew I was running out of control. I knew I was going way, way, WAY overboard. I knew I was just not in my right mind with it all. But I couldn't stop. My hurt was that big in me.
But my very good friends...who knew nothing at all about this thread, and knew nothing at all about how they were helping through my own tunnel...they came to me in droves today and kept me in a good place of love and friendship.
Finally I was able to realize my own hurt and pain of being put through the 'prove it beyond the shadow of a doubt that you were not pimping out your daughter' over and over and over again by twi (who told the DA to suspect me of doing such a thing!).
But I also realized the pain of knowing that my precious little girl...my precious, innocent little girl of 7...was grilled unmercifully by an 18-member grand jury in just this same manner...because twi had told the DA all sorts of nasty chit about me...and here is my precious little girl having to face down 18 sneering, condescending, insulting adults...all by herself...all by her freakin' self!
This thread triggered all of that in me.
And I was gone.
I am sorry for pouring all of that pain onto undeserving people. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am not asking for understanding. I am not asking for anything here. Just recognizing that there were people on this thread undeserving of that explosion.
This is an explosive subject, even if what is felt inside is absence (or emptiness if you prefer). It musters memories, flashbacks and such a mired of control issues one might go insane before first touching the keys.
This forum has and has had first hand accounts of the ways of 'the way'.
I understood Eagles intent I thought so was not of the same read as some where. But I also have seen this happen regularly so doubtful anyone was surprised by it.
I'm thankful no one asked me to relay 'hell's bounds' in this thread. I'm proud of excath because I think more needed to be said. I think it will free her. I speak from where? MY OPINION! But I speak what my heart feels.
We know each other, we know the signs, and we know the forgiveness given afterwards. Strangers don't. I think it is for them that we try to maintain some balance. Not perfection, after all why are we here to begin with. Because we need or just feel attached in a way that wouldn't consider wandering off. Whatever, we are here being faithful to each other (for the greater part) to learn and grow. The details that bring it on should be considered and engaged in perhaps, for me many a time I got clear vision on a matter by way of someone's words here.
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excathedra
i just wrote this to eagle in a private message and i would be willing to extend this to others
just give me a little time if i don't get back to you immediately
i may have to type it in word first.....
.
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Linda Z
Exsie, I just want to say I love you, my friend. Your kindness and grace are a comfort. Thank you.
I don't want to argue about this anymore. I have enough headaches in my life already. I don't come here to get a headache or to be one to someone else...really I don't. Those who "get" my heart, thank you. Those who don't maybe never will.
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excathedra
thanks you too
and i realize i should just post it again here
instead of being all private messaging
love ya linzee and everyone else
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excathedra
adultery affairs those words probably are why i shrink even though no one means harm whatsoever
my apologies to you all
i have no legitimate reason to be mysterious
he, meaning veepee, spent a lot of time holding my hand and counseling me
i told him my entire sordid history
i was looking for help and real love and i looked up to him
but when he told me he could help me (man with a maiden), it scared the scrap out of me
this went on for some time
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Bramble
I was never involved in the Way Corps, but I did go to college in the seventies. The term 'date rape' wasn't something I'd heard in those years( designated driver was another unheard of term back then too).
I knew lots of girls who got drunk, or had something slipped in a drink and ended up being date raped, though that was not a term we used where I went to school. I remember being warned by older college girls to stay away from parties on certain floors of the men's dorms(oh--drinking age was 18, too) because they had a 'scoreboard' for freshman girls. They would offer lots of free drinks then haul the drunk girl off to a dorm room.
I knew two girls who lost their virginity under really humiliating circumstances, one at a party, one at an outdoor concert--in public view--, and the idea of pressing charges never once came up. Where were their friends,? Bobbi Jo and I wondered. That was our big concern.
My best friend and I did have something slipped in our drinks once. Usually we were careful, we partied with a group of friends and watched out for each other. Lucky for us we had her older sister and sis's boy friend around. At the time we were flirting with some guys from England, though there's no proof they dropped anything in our drinks. We didn't call the police--didn't occur to us. But my dad did call the next day, after my friend's older sister talked us into getting to a doctor, just in case, since we were still out of it...police said there was lots of that happening.
I
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excathedra
by some time i mean a few years
through the years he would call me on the coach and hold my hand and talk to me (about my past and childhood sexual abuse)
he told me i deserved to be loved by a real man of god (instead of what happened to me as a child) and god wanted me healed, etc.
one time he said he would show me my beauty and asked me to remove my blouse, which i did (sorry), but then when he started to "admire" me, i said i'm sorry i can't do this, and i ran off the coach crying
he did not give up. it was still quite a while 'til he got me
i know this sounds surreal..... believe me.....
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excathedra
one of my college undershepherders went away (very odd) we were so close
i kept asking where she was
told she was at headquarters but it was said with a "ssshhhhhh"
she came back after a few weeks but we weren't allowed to talk about it
one of the girls finally told me she had a breakdown and went to headquarters to get healed
a bit later i was told the truth by my friend, the reason she had a breakdown had to do with being on the coach with veepee
and then this lovely woman told a dear friend of mine very recently what happened
but i knew already
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excathedra
gotta go now, but i want you to know i don't "need" to tell this for attention or anything
thanks
just i was there and now i'm here
like so many of us
.
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ChattyKathy
That was brave.
Thank you excath.
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T-Bone
Excathedra, I think you are an exceptionally strong, courageous and resilient woman!
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CoolWaters
All's quiet and well on Animal Farm with the Pigs now that more details were tortured out, an apology has been made for this one's very existence, and this one has dutifully thanked the Pigs.
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Bluzeman
Whatever, Vyctoria.
Rick
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CoolWaters
Yep...whatever...whatever it takes to be right...and have the last word...and make the biggest insult one can think of making...and the biggest ASSumption...yep...whatever...especially so long as one is taking one's meds...whatever...yep...whatever it takes to get satisfaction...'cause otherwise one can't get none nowhere nohow...
This .... is getting old...whatever.
...said the Pigs...
...and if the sow's ear ain't a purse....don't grunt...whatever...
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Bluzeman
Meds? I don't take any. Have no need for them. Never have.
What about you?
Now for the record, I never asked ANYONE to tell ANYTHING that happened to them. I just defended the original poster cause you and a few others were being total a$$holes. I am now done with this thread. You, I don't really give a rats a$$ about Vyctoria, so you may feel free to say whatever you want from here on out. I'll just sit back and laugh at you.
Rick
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CoolWaters
Last word.
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pond
Did you ever learn one darn thing from the experience because you out of many on this forum act just like so many did in twi.
just run off anyone who does not understand. It is about loving one another . Bull it is about control and having it all be what you want it to be your way .
you can be the queen trust me .
how about believing that first hand testimony?
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CoolWaters
I remember saying something like if the sow's ear ain't a purse, don't grunt.
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WhiteDove
:blink: :blink: :blink:
Ohhhh Psalmie is not going to like this Cool........
Hope you enjoy your mashed potato shampoo.........
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doojable
I have been following this thread for a while now.
First, Thank you Excath! for even sharing a little tiny bit - I never expected it, nor was I looking for it.
I doubt that anyone who is speaking on this thread today wants to accuse anyone of lying about sexual abuse. I feel strongly that each person in this little riff has good intentions.
Can we all (ALL) take a deep breath and rmember that the real enemy is not flesh and blood. Furthermore, the enemies of the past (VPW, LCM and their minions) will get what is due them.
Please?
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Cynic
What a couple of amoral, manipulative and vicious opportunists.
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CoolWaters
{{{{dooj}}}}
That deep breath came for me today in the form of very good friends who had no clue how far into this I had gone.
You are right, I do believe, that people on this thread had good intentions. I didn't care. My heart was so hurt...not for me at all...'cause everything that's been said here to me has been said to/about me here...in the past...so often that I really don't 'hear' it these days. But for those who could not bear to stand up under the scrutiny....and the blame...whether real, imagined, self-inflicted, or what...and the fear...and the sorrow...and the memories. It was ripping my heart apart to think of what it must be like on this thread for those who lived through it all. I just couldn't stop. I knew I was running out of control. I knew I was going way, way, WAY overboard. I knew I was just not in my right mind with it all. But I couldn't stop. My hurt was that big in me.
But my very good friends...who knew nothing at all about this thread, and knew nothing at all about how they were helping through my own tunnel...they came to me in droves today and kept me in a good place of love and friendship.
Finally I was able to realize my own hurt and pain of being put through the 'prove it beyond the shadow of a doubt that you were not pimping out your daughter' over and over and over again by twi (who told the DA to suspect me of doing such a thing!).
But I also realized the pain of knowing that my precious little girl...my precious, innocent little girl of 7...was grilled unmercifully by an 18-member grand jury in just this same manner...because twi had told the DA all sorts of nasty chit about me...and here is my precious little girl having to face down 18 sneering, condescending, insulting adults...all by herself...all by her freakin' self!
This thread triggered all of that in me.
And I was gone.
I am sorry for pouring all of that pain onto undeserving people. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am not asking for understanding. I am not asking for anything here. Just recognizing that there were people on this thread undeserving of that explosion.
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excathedra
((((((( cool ))))))) i understand
you take care of your precious heart. i love you
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CoolWaters
Thank you, {{{{ExC}}}}. That means a whole lot coming from you.
I love you, too. And you take care of your precious heart.
We'll get by with a little help from our friends...maybe...and if not...well...we got that love in our hearts regardless of it all, huh?
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ChattyKathy
This is an explosive subject, even if what is felt inside is absence (or emptiness if you prefer). It musters memories, flashbacks and such a mired of control issues one might go insane before first touching the keys.
This forum has and has had first hand accounts of the ways of 'the way'.
I understood Eagles intent I thought so was not of the same read as some where. But I also have seen this happen regularly so doubtful anyone was surprised by it.
I'm thankful no one asked me to relay 'hell's bounds' in this thread. I'm proud of excath because I think more needed to be said. I think it will free her. I speak from where? MY OPINION! But I speak what my heart feels.
We know each other, we know the signs, and we know the forgiveness given afterwards. Strangers don't. I think it is for them that we try to maintain some balance. Not perfection, after all why are we here to begin with. Because we need or just feel attached in a way that wouldn't consider wandering off. Whatever, we are here being faithful to each other (for the greater part) to learn and grow. The details that bring it on should be considered and engaged in perhaps, for me many a time I got clear vision on a matter by way of someone's words here.
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