Last night I spent several hours with a good friend who can keep up with me when it comes to colorful conversation. But we were in one of Kansas City's swankiest dining rooms...and her pre-teen daughter was present. Not a single vulgarity, act of rudeness, or any other form of 'off-color' activity crept into the merriment.
To me, it's important to know with whom you are conversing.
Via this thread I found out that someone who normally does not say a thing about anybody's 'off-color' conversation is really bothered by such conversation. I wish the person had said something before...they would have been spared being made uncomfortable around me...at least on my part.
I think people who object to the types of things discussed here would prefer to silently withdraw rather than make others uncomfortable by voicing their objections. That's part of friendship, IMO. You treasure the times together, but if things get a little risque, and it's not your cup of tea, then you graciously excuse yourself and leave everyone else to the fun.
After leaving TWI, I was initally uncomfortable around those situations. But working with the kinds of people I did, I had to learn to get along and not be preachy. I know when to stay and I know when to leave, and I hope along the way that some have learned from my example.
I don't want anyone to be fake around me. I care most about people being real, and people who expect that out of me as well.
BTW, I got pretty good at cussing like a sailor: I just have learned when it's appropriate and when it's not.
I like "I don't give an airborne rodent's derrierre (sp?)" myself.
I'm not a big fan of public vulgarity, I think most people can be a little more respectful in public places. but for me it's more the attitude than the actual language. Like, this is me, who cares what you think. With freedom, comes accountability.
What has really bothered me lately, though, is not vulgarity, but the phrases, "my baby's daddy" or "my baby's mama". I recently worked with a young woman (geez, I'm only 44, and I can't believe I'm using that phrase!) and she went into a lengthy discussion that would make Maury proud. Who's baby's daddy was making babies with who's baby's mama. I mean, a half dozen condoms would have prevented the entire conversation.
I don't know, maybe it's growing up on the back edge of women's lib and equal rights and all, but that terminology seems so...demeaning. I mean, if you're going to refer to yourself as someone's baby's mama, why not just introduce yourself as a hole? or a womb? If that's your only identification as a woman, being linked to your reproductive abilities, what can that really say about your self-esteem?
Before anyone gets up in arms about having babies outside of marriage, let me say that is not what I am concerned about. I know there are a number of reasons why people have children outside of marriage, and they're just not any of my business. What I am getting at is the self-perception of mostly young women who don't look at themselves as an entire person, taking responsibility for their actions by their language. I.e.; I had a relationship with someone and we had a baby as a result. We are no longer seeing each other and I am raising my child on my own.
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CoolWaters
Well, Y, disagree. So what?
Last night I spent several hours with a good friend who can keep up with me when it comes to colorful conversation. But we were in one of Kansas City's swankiest dining rooms...and her pre-teen daughter was present. Not a single vulgarity, act of rudeness, or any other form of 'off-color' activity crept into the merriment.
To me, it's important to know with whom you are conversing.
Via this thread I found out that someone who normally does not say a thing about anybody's 'off-color' conversation is really bothered by such conversation. I wish the person had said something before...they would have been spared being made uncomfortable around me...at least on my part.
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watersedge
who defines the "color" or path of any conversation?
to speak freely is a gift............it yields no fear
when someone is afraid to speak openly they are afraid to be themself
and that will always cause conflict, deserved or not
ps the "twit brain" picture is cool
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topoftheworld
I think people who object to the types of things discussed here would prefer to silently withdraw rather than make others uncomfortable by voicing their objections. That's part of friendship, IMO. You treasure the times together, but if things get a little risque, and it's not your cup of tea, then you graciously excuse yourself and leave everyone else to the fun.
After leaving TWI, I was initally uncomfortable around those situations. But working with the kinds of people I did, I had to learn to get along and not be preachy. I know when to stay and I know when to leave, and I hope along the way that some have learned from my example.
I don't want anyone to be fake around me. I care most about people being real, and people who expect that out of me as well.
BTW, I got pretty good at cussing like a sailor: I just have learned when it's appropriate and when it's not.
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excathedra
haven't read the thread, but i'm figuring i'm an offender
but i don't think i'll do jail time
mwah mwah mwah
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dmiller
There's that four letter word again! Arghhh!
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wwjesuslaughat
I like "I don't give an airborne rodent's derrierre (sp?)" myself.
I'm not a big fan of public vulgarity, I think most people can be a little more respectful in public places. but for me it's more the attitude than the actual language. Like, this is me, who cares what you think. With freedom, comes accountability.
What has really bothered me lately, though, is not vulgarity, but the phrases, "my baby's daddy" or "my baby's mama". I recently worked with a young woman (geez, I'm only 44, and I can't believe I'm using that phrase!) and she went into a lengthy discussion that would make Maury proud. Who's baby's daddy was making babies with who's baby's mama. I mean, a half dozen condoms would have prevented the entire conversation.
I don't know, maybe it's growing up on the back edge of women's lib and equal rights and all, but that terminology seems so...demeaning. I mean, if you're going to refer to yourself as someone's baby's mama, why not just introduce yourself as a hole? or a womb? If that's your only identification as a woman, being linked to your reproductive abilities, what can that really say about your self-esteem?
Before anyone gets up in arms about having babies outside of marriage, let me say that is not what I am concerned about. I know there are a number of reasons why people have children outside of marriage, and they're just not any of my business. What I am getting at is the self-perception of mostly young women who don't look at themselves as an entire person, taking responsibility for their actions by their language. I.e.; I had a relationship with someone and we had a baby as a result. We are no longer seeing each other and I am raising my child on my own.
Anyway, that's my rant.
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