My first (and second...since they were the same man) husband was gay. I dunno know if that was the cause of our divorces, though. TWI messed heavily in our marriages...HEAVILY. I often thought throughout the years that I could have coped with him being gay. I dunno, though. I was pretty put off about no sex in the marriage. Maybe if I'd been more prone to cheating or something...
So I dunno.
Oh yeah...he passed away several years later...and I remarried several years before...so I really dunno.
I think the teachings had more to do with it than anything else. My ex was extremely obedient and took everything to the extreme (OCD-like, if you will). He wanted so much to be the 100% perfect husband according to TWIt standards and would go to all kinds of extremes to achieve that impossible goal. It made him a great husband on paper, but a very difficult one in "real life".
When I finally broke from TWI it was only a matter of time before things went downhill far and fast enough for divorce to become inevitable. Of course, all it would take is a word from the Moneyhands and he would jump. If they even hinted at divorce being the best option, then that's what he was going to do. I suspect, too, that the Moneyhands weren't the only ones "coaching" him on how to "handle" this unruly, disobedient wife.
Before we got married we had agreed to have children and, after hearing so many TWIt teachings on not letting "the world" raise you kids, he decided - without any consideration from me - that we weren't going to have any children. Broke my heart, but now I see that it was a good thing that we didn't have kids even if it means I may never get to realize that dream. Not having to fight over custody and how to raise our children made the divorce so much easier.
i'm sorry that you haven't realized your dream as yet, but you're right--it would've been a never-ending nightmare if you had kids and your ex was still in. that's what they call bittersweet, i guess.
Being involved with TWI affected whom I married as well as why I divorced
I wasn't myself. I considered guys, I would not have considered AND when married to a perfectly okay handsome guy, I allowed TWI interference to change the way I saw him and ultimately the way I felt.
That is a shame because he really was harmless and I was harmful.
I ran things through a distorted filter. My example of a "man-of-God," something I wanted at the time, was a Cr8g like idiot.
Funny, but if someone were kinder or more gentle and pastering it was not "okay" it was as if only crazy prophet types were acceptable. I dunno, if all this was the confused slant I was on, or many other girls felt this way.
But this fine man to whom I was married, was a kind soul. He reached out to people in a whisper. He did not shout or rant. Somehow, I allowed myself to think he was a "poor" example...
Geez-- of what?
So, if he yelled and screamed he would have been a catch?
I was long gone from TWI when I got divorced. I do think my involvement in TWI was a factor in marrying the wrong person, though. I graduated from the Corps and was single and it seemed like some people went into panic mode over it. I was fine being single, but other people seemed very concerned about getting me married off. I kept finding myself in contrived situations where some single guy would show up for equally contrived reasons... very awkward. I think I finally succumbed to the idea that I needed to get married on their timetable and married the next guy that showed an interest based on the theory that any two believers can make a marriage work that kept showing up in teachings at twigs or tapes, etc
I suspect my ex was gay and that wasn't a major factor in the divorce. The deal breaker for me was his meanness and unhappiness that probably stemmed from him trying to be someone he wasn't...and the job losses and periods of unemployment that resulted from that...
Ending the marriage was the best thing for both of us and I hope that someday he finds peace about who he is. I have no bitterness towards him and would let him stay at my house if he ever had reason to come to my city. The sad thing is, he married another woman within a few months of our divorce. I have nothing but compassion for her.
I was married in the 10th Corps. Got divorced during the interim year after about 4 years of marriage. Stayed single through the 14th Corps, married about 3 months after graduation. Now, been married 20 years.
Go figure, she hasn't run me off yet. Lord knows there's times I wish she would. And of course, days I'm glad she hasn't and days I hope she won't.
Either way, I don't think I'd ever marry again if this one didn't work. I might live with a girl, but I wouldn't marry her.
If I become available, I'll let everyone know. Trust this, if I become available, odds will favor it being my fault.
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oilfieldmedic
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excathedra
nice thread. thanks.
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sharon
:wub: my ex, is my best friend....
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Ca_dreaming
Sorry never experienced it....
Been married 23 yrs this Sept.
My husband is my best friend,
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Dot Matrix
Been divorced and remarried
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watersedge
yeah.........been there and done that
once and that was an "ouch"
too many bad walls got built cause now i don't want to commit to anything
that causes pain and that keeps me away from any kind of
relation
fear factor revealed
it would be nice to "trust" someone in my life again, yet if i can't "trust"
myself what is it really worth? the walls built were by me, to keep anyone away
from my center, to not allow anyone to invade a space that is for me. that alone tells
you i'm selfish.....for me!!!!!
i live by a code and it's NOT davinci
it is F.A.R.T.
free
acceptinting
real
true
mama told me life was like a box of chocolate
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sprawled out
i thought there were a lot of us.
i wonder what the percentage is, of divorced ex-wayers compared to the "norm?"
how many would say that they're involvement in the way contributed to the demise of their marriage(s)?
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Shellon
I would say that being involved in TWI contributed to the death of my husband which was of course the death of my marriage too.
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CoolWaters
My first (and second...since they were the same man) husband was gay. I dunno know if that was the cause of our divorces, though. TWI messed heavily in our marriages...HEAVILY. I often thought throughout the years that I could have coped with him being gay. I dunno, though. I was pretty put off about no sex in the marriage. Maybe if I'd been more prone to cheating or something...
So I dunno.
Oh yeah...he passed away several years later...and I remarried several years before...so I really dunno.
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Belle
I think the teachings had more to do with it than anything else. My ex was extremely obedient and took everything to the extreme (OCD-like, if you will). He wanted so much to be the 100% perfect husband according to TWIt standards and would go to all kinds of extremes to achieve that impossible goal. It made him a great husband on paper, but a very difficult one in "real life".
When I finally broke from TWI it was only a matter of time before things went downhill far and fast enough for divorce to become inevitable. Of course, all it would take is a word from the Moneyhands and he would jump. If they even hinted at divorce being the best option, then that's what he was going to do. I suspect, too, that the Moneyhands weren't the only ones "coaching" him on how to "handle" this unruly, disobedient wife.
Before we got married we had agreed to have children and, after hearing so many TWIt teachings on not letting "the world" raise you kids, he decided - without any consideration from me - that we weren't going to have any children. Broke my heart, but now I see that it was a good thing that we didn't have kids even if it means I may never get to realize that dream. Not having to fight over custody and how to raise our children made the divorce so much easier.
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sprawled out
i'm sorry that you haven't realized your dream as yet, but you're right--it would've been a never-ending nightmare if you had kids and your ex was still in. that's what they call bittersweet, i guess.
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Dot Matrix
Being involved with TWI affected whom I married as well as why I divorced
I wasn't myself. I considered guys, I would not have considered AND when married to a perfectly okay handsome guy, I allowed TWI interference to change the way I saw him and ultimately the way I felt.
That is a shame because he really was harmless and I was harmful.
I ran things through a distorted filter. My example of a "man-of-God," something I wanted at the time, was a Cr8g like idiot.
Funny, but if someone were kinder or more gentle and pastering it was not "okay" it was as if only crazy prophet types were acceptable. I dunno, if all this was the confused slant I was on, or many other girls felt this way.
But this fine man to whom I was married, was a kind soul. He reached out to people in a whisper. He did not shout or rant. Somehow, I allowed myself to think he was a "poor" example...
Geez-- of what?
So, if he yelled and screamed he would have been a catch?
I screwed up. I hope he is well. I wronged him.
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Scout Finch02
I was long gone from TWI when I got divorced. I do think my involvement in TWI was a factor in marrying the wrong person, though. I graduated from the Corps and was single and it seemed like some people went into panic mode over it. I was fine being single, but other people seemed very concerned about getting me married off. I kept finding myself in contrived situations where some single guy would show up for equally contrived reasons... very awkward. I think I finally succumbed to the idea that I needed to get married on their timetable and married the next guy that showed an interest based on the theory that any two believers can make a marriage work that kept showing up in teachings at twigs or tapes, etc
I suspect my ex was gay and that wasn't a major factor in the divorce. The deal breaker for me was his meanness and unhappiness that probably stemmed from him trying to be someone he wasn't...and the job losses and periods of unemployment that resulted from that...
Ending the marriage was the best thing for both of us and I hope that someday he finds peace about who he is. I have no bitterness towards him and would let him stay at my house if he ever had reason to come to my city. The sad thing is, he married another woman within a few months of our divorce. I have nothing but compassion for her.
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topoftheworld
{{{Dot}}}
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FreeAtLast
was married 12 + years and divorced now for 4
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Radar OReilly
WOW H!!!!
Over all of your inhibitions already?
ROR
BTW..........AWESOME PIX, YOU LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER
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FreeAtLast
Radar,
thanks for the compliment. Hope you have been doing well girl.
What inhibitions did I have? Are you referring to anonimity on the G-spot.
I guess I only cared before if my big bro caught me out here but I don't give
a rat's butt anymore.
I haven't been around for a while so I thought I would come out here and check
the place out. I had pretty much buried the Way stuff in the back of my sub conscious
and didn't want it to re-surface, but lately I have been thinking about it more and piecing
things together for myself. Trying to figure out what I believe and it feels more comfortable
being out here now. I just try to avoid doctrinal threads and threads where anger surfaces
I gotta process these things in my own way.
This is probably info for another thread but the past 4 years my life has completely
changed considering that the Way was really all I knew. But I am a survivor girl
so no more inhibitions.
pop me an email sometime and let me know what's up. It's on my profile.
Free
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Siouxzahn
Once married, once divorced. :)
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dmiller
Siouxzahn --- Welcome to GreaseSpot. :)
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DamitJanet
Divorced and why are we doing this??? <_<
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Tom Strange
Doing what?
(is that the restaurant on the top of the spire in Las Vegas?)
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notinKansasanymore
Sioux: Welcome! Cup of coffee?
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YIdon'tgotochurch
I was married in the 10th Corps. Got divorced during the interim year after about 4 years of marriage. Stayed single through the 14th Corps, married about 3 months after graduation. Now, been married 20 years.
Go figure, she hasn't run me off yet. Lord knows there's times I wish she would. And of course, days I'm glad she hasn't and days I hope she won't.
Either way, I don't think I'd ever marry again if this one didn't work. I might live with a girl, but I wouldn't marry her.
If I become available, I'll let everyone know. Trust this, if I become available, odds will favor it being my fault.
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DamitJanet
The restaurant at the top of the Stratosphere is called "Top of the World." <_<
(Now I gave myself away.)
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