Thanks, but I think we get along so well partly because we are pretty far apart geographically. Somehow now that we've been apart, it feels right to be apart. If he ever asked me to come help him, I would.
When I was a wow, he fell and damaged his knee, requiring surgery. His mom and dad moved up north for six months to tend to him while he recovered. He said that's when he knew I was really gone, when I didn't come back to take care of him. I had gone wow the year our divorce was final.
This one of the first posts that I readbeing a newbie. As I have shared I belonged to a spin off group of TWI. But the ways were the same. We completely separated ourselves from our earthly families. No holidays, weddings anything got in the way of the church. Now I am separated from my daughter who still lives with the church and also divorced from my husband who still lives with the church. To top it off two of my sons that did leave with me are off on their own because of huets within ourselves because of the church.
Has anyone ever heard the shovel full that was attempted to be taught that IDOLITRY , was "anything the Holy Man of God could'nt have you give up, or give over to him", and FEAR that was any reason to not do what they wanted you to " IT"S JUST FEAR NOT TO ......................" . The contex i first heard it used in was when V*** Mc*** was trying to break someone up , and he raged, like he was inclined to when he could'nt get his way , or the TWI"s way , "IT"S JUST FEAR NOT TO LET GO OF HER FOR OTHERS", of course he was trying to get next in line but who cares about that. Three difernt times i heard that rotton minion use that on someone.
Then i would be reproted to headquarters and two of them would call and label you, and/or mark you to #1 punnish you thhrough disassociation, and #2 , get you out of their way if you were'nt going to cooperate;
so thaey had time to get done what they wanted, and get away with it, without getting caught.
bye the way , I WAS RIGHT , HE WANTED NEXT's.
And Way Corps , what do you think the oath of salt was for?
I almost forgot the most inportant part of all that , >>>>>>> "THE CURSED LOOKING BACK" TACTIC!
"Well if it happened last night it's a new day , and thats cursed as looking back!!!!! I"ll reproove ya sore!
This covered any thing from a fart in class , to raping your wife of course, and every Corps person was sworn to , (another WAYWORD), to ''Operate it".
Sorry almost forgot, guess it was cursed as looking back HUH!HUH!.
Geeeze connerron.... That is insane.... the evil in twi was a whole lot more subtle than that most of the time.
I agree and had to live with the anything that the mog *recomended* was law... it was horrible what we were forced to do in service to God because the mog deemed it necessary.
I'm a little hesitant to post, but I'm new to the forum here, though I've been reading for a little while. I'm a meticulous reader, and this thread really caught my attention, and makes me sigh for the past. I guess, by way of small introduction, I should tell you that I'm 36, in the midst of a nasty divorce that after 2 years seems endless, have 2 great kids and am a writer. I guess that will "out" me to anyone in my area who lurks and reads here, but I don't care anymore.
I was in the last PFAL run in my state, the year I was married, in 1995. My husband had been standing since the early 70s, faded for a while, got his first divorce, met and witnessed to me, then we started attending fellowships and married. We did the classes, I babysat for countless hours and we served in small ways as just normal, average, every-day believer-types.
I was young when I met my husband (2 years before I married him) and anxious to move away from my collegiate experiences into the real world. In other words, I was ripe for the picking. It all started subtley. First, when he was finishing his PhD, we were counseled that I should actually write it, since we were married and my long suits in language were far greater than his, it only made sense. As husband and wife, we were one, so it was ok. I wrote it. Somehow, in the following 10 years, it was never the right time to go back to school.
Three years in, I finally recognized my husband's behaviour as abusive. Getting up at 3am after water was thrown in my face, and ordered to scrub the bathroom grout again with bleach and toothbrush, was not exactly the sort of loving reproof I'd anticipated. So, I left him. I took a risk, stayed with friends, and three days later, my huband, our HFC and our BC/LC appeared at my job. They told me, quietly, that if I didn't quit and walk away right at that moment, and return with my husband then I would be irrevocably lost to the household. My boss was watching. They made the atmosphere very tense. When my boss fired me that afternoon, because my HFC told him in my hearing that being an alcoholic, I had no business working in a restaurant that served alcohol, I thought they'd won. I went home. (My boss fired me because I learned my husband had been making threatening calls to the restaurant, he confided that later, the "confrontation" was merely an excuse.)
We began marriage counseling. I was told over and over again that my inability to submit to the will of my husband was because I'd been sexually molested by my father and three brothers. I'm shamed even writing this...because nothing like that even remotely happened. My father and brothers are all fine, upstanding men. My BC (who later left TWI) received this information by revelation. Then he asked many prurient questions about my sex life with my husband...asking for graphic details. I told him to buy one of my books (it was a joke line becauses I write erotic and straight romance novels).
When I tried to leave a second time...my husband insisted we go to one last fellowship together. I agreed. The HFC/LC at the time were living FAR from us, over 30 miles. We had come in one vehicle, my husband's. When we stepped in the house, only the LC and his wife were there. I was shouted at and verbally assaulted for 30 minutes. After I stopped looking like a deer in the headlights, I managed to croke out that I'd been lured there under false pretenses, and that if I weren't released at that moment I would use my cell phone to report to the police that I'd been kidnapped.
Things cooled off considerably. There were apologies and smiles all around. Like a moron...I stayed. My husband continued to be controlling, I hid it from my family, and we got new "counselors". Why I ever listened to people less qualified than even MYSELF about these matters, I just can't say for sure. I just remember feeling isolated.
I was then told to give up my career, it was suggested STRENUOUSLY, that anything I'd made financially be abundantly shared because my books had no spiritual worth, and have babies. I would be a better wife, I was told, if I had the contentment and challenge of raising children. I had two, two years apart. As soon as I realised 3 years ago, almost, that my husband would never change his abusive ways, and his reaction to our son's medical diagnosis of Autism was predictably to hit the roof, I insisted, finally, that he leave. He did, finally, and I've paid for it ever since in one way or another.
It was funny though....I was in the wrong, completely, until the moment my husband walked away from the ministry, then the same people who had condemned and berated me couldn't fall over themselves fast enough to court me, and tell me what a jerk he was. I was a fool, but I'm not any longer.
I have quietly faded from TWI, and really, no one cares about it. No one calls me, no one drops by now...I'm sure I'm not worth it to them. But, realistically, nearly 12 years, two kids, and a career in the toilet later...? I can say TWI didn't so much break my relationship up, as do its best to keep me in the worst relationship possible. Trusting people who might be skilled in scripture to be able to diagnose deep pathologies without any formal training in the areas that matter...seems a little off base to me.
Bless, you will find a lot of healing just being here, as Bowtwi says. It's not that misery likes company, but when you look and see the horrendous pattern that was being followed (as your own marriage did), you *know* you are not alone. Many of us have been through similar abuse and you have my deep sympathy.
LCM always hated writers and said they were full of ego. (That's probably because he himself had such a big ego.)
You could probably write some really good novels about what's happened (especially after you read some of the horrible stories on GSC), and expose the truth in your own special way. Do whatever it takes to effect your own healing.
You know it was funny...when I had books ready to be published, I was told it was "vain imaginings" on my part...yet, TWI cashed the checks we wrote without a problem.
My ex just phoned...he wants all his old TWI books and things...*sigh* Here we go again...now that our divorce is finally moving, he will repeat his pattern. Convince the new girl that he's a Godly-Guy, get her to fellowship, and the wheel will move.
I've gently explained that he can have his things, but not the kids. What joys of de-programming I may be faced with in future. However, starting this process has been good, and eventually, I think it will surface more fully in my writing.
My fella comes from a quaker background and occasionally still goes to meetings. I went with him, in Sheffield, when we were visiting his family in the UK. I actually started to sweat when I got to the meeting house, we were told such horrible things about the quakers in my HF. To my surprise, everyone was very nice and didn't push me or anything like that. It was so peaceful, that I fell asleep in the meeting (and hour of quiet reflection does that to me every time). My guy woke me up gently, smiled at me, then took me to the pub for a beer.
We still see everyone from Quakers when we are in the UK, and yet no one has the temerity to suggest that we're spiritual lightweights (or slugs), for not giving up everything to live the pacifist lifestyle.
A big difference.
Oh, and they didn't lecture me on the demonic symbolism of my tattoos, either :-)
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
7
5
5
4
Popular Days
Jun 27
18
Jun 29
18
Jul 3
6
Jul 9
5
Top Posters In This Topic
GT 7 posts
Dot Matrix 5 posts
Watered Garden 5 posts
mckeanj 4 posts
Popular Days
Jun 27 2006
18 posts
Jun 29 2006
18 posts
Jul 3 2006
6 posts
Jul 9 2006
5 posts
bowtwi
Thanks, but I think we get along so well partly because we are pretty far apart geographically. Somehow now that we've been apart, it feels right to be apart. If he ever asked me to come help him, I would.
When I was a wow, he fell and damaged his knee, requiring surgery. His mom and dad moved up north for six months to tend to him while he recovered. He said that's when he knew I was really gone, when I didn't come back to take care of him. I had gone wow the year our divorce was final.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
grand-daughter
This one of the first posts that I readbeing a newbie. As I have shared I belonged to a spin off group of TWI. But the ways were the same. We completely separated ourselves from our earthly families. No holidays, weddings anything got in the way of the church. Now I am separated from my daughter who still lives with the church and also divorced from my husband who still lives with the church. To top it off two of my sons that did leave with me are off on their own because of huets within ourselves because of the church.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
so sorry grand-daughter
((((((((((((( many hugs )))))))))))))
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Patriot
If A=B, and B=C, then A=C
God is His Word. "The Ministry is the Word and the Word is the Ministry".............
(Scary thought, eh?)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CONNERRON
Hello;
I just had a comment.
Has anyone ever heard the shovel full that was attempted to be taught that IDOLITRY , was "anything the Holy Man of God could'nt have you give up, or give over to him", and FEAR that was any reason to not do what they wanted you to " IT"S JUST FEAR NOT TO ......................" . The contex i first heard it used in was when V*** Mc*** was trying to break someone up , and he raged, like he was inclined to when he could'nt get his way , or the TWI"s way , "IT"S JUST FEAR NOT TO LET GO OF HER FOR OTHERS", of course he was trying to get next in line but who cares about that. Three difernt times i heard that rotton minion use that on someone.
Then i would be reproted to headquarters and two of them would call and label you, and/or mark you to #1 punnish you thhrough disassociation, and #2 , get you out of their way if you were'nt going to cooperate;
so thaey had time to get done what they wanted, and get away with it, without getting caught.
bye the way , I WAS RIGHT , HE WANTED NEXT's.
And Way Corps , what do you think the oath of salt was for?
thanks,
connerron
Edited by DooWapLink to comment
Share on other sites
CONNERRON
Hello:
I almost forgot the most inportant part of all that , >>>>>>> "THE CURSED LOOKING BACK" TACTIC!
"Well if it happened last night it's a new day , and thats cursed as looking back!!!!! I"ll reproove ya sore!
This covered any thing from a fart in class , to raping your wife of course, and every Corps person was sworn to , (another WAYWORD), to ''Operate it".
Sorry almost forgot, guess it was cursed as looking back HUH!HUH!.
Thanks for your time,
connerron
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Geeeze connerron.... That is insane.... the evil in twi was a whole lot more subtle than that most of the time.
I agree and had to live with the anything that the mog *recomended* was law... it was horrible what we were forced to do in service to God because the mog deemed it necessary.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
QuietThinker
I'm a little hesitant to post, but I'm new to the forum here, though I've been reading for a little while. I'm a meticulous reader, and this thread really caught my attention, and makes me sigh for the past. I guess, by way of small introduction, I should tell you that I'm 36, in the midst of a nasty divorce that after 2 years seems endless, have 2 great kids and am a writer. I guess that will "out" me to anyone in my area who lurks and reads here, but I don't care anymore.
I was in the last PFAL run in my state, the year I was married, in 1995. My husband had been standing since the early 70s, faded for a while, got his first divorce, met and witnessed to me, then we started attending fellowships and married. We did the classes, I babysat for countless hours and we served in small ways as just normal, average, every-day believer-types.
I was young when I met my husband (2 years before I married him) and anxious to move away from my collegiate experiences into the real world. In other words, I was ripe for the picking. It all started subtley. First, when he was finishing his PhD, we were counseled that I should actually write it, since we were married and my long suits in language were far greater than his, it only made sense. As husband and wife, we were one, so it was ok. I wrote it. Somehow, in the following 10 years, it was never the right time to go back to school.
Three years in, I finally recognized my husband's behaviour as abusive. Getting up at 3am after water was thrown in my face, and ordered to scrub the bathroom grout again with bleach and toothbrush, was not exactly the sort of loving reproof I'd anticipated. So, I left him. I took a risk, stayed with friends, and three days later, my huband, our HFC and our BC/LC appeared at my job. They told me, quietly, that if I didn't quit and walk away right at that moment, and return with my husband then I would be irrevocably lost to the household. My boss was watching. They made the atmosphere very tense. When my boss fired me that afternoon, because my HFC told him in my hearing that being an alcoholic, I had no business working in a restaurant that served alcohol, I thought they'd won. I went home. (My boss fired me because I learned my husband had been making threatening calls to the restaurant, he confided that later, the "confrontation" was merely an excuse.)
We began marriage counseling. I was told over and over again that my inability to submit to the will of my husband was because I'd been sexually molested by my father and three brothers. I'm shamed even writing this...because nothing like that even remotely happened. My father and brothers are all fine, upstanding men. My BC (who later left TWI) received this information by revelation. Then he asked many prurient questions about my sex life with my husband...asking for graphic details. I told him to buy one of my books (it was a joke line becauses I write erotic and straight romance novels).
When I tried to leave a second time...my husband insisted we go to one last fellowship together. I agreed. The HFC/LC at the time were living FAR from us, over 30 miles. We had come in one vehicle, my husband's. When we stepped in the house, only the LC and his wife were there. I was shouted at and verbally assaulted for 30 minutes. After I stopped looking like a deer in the headlights, I managed to croke out that I'd been lured there under false pretenses, and that if I weren't released at that moment I would use my cell phone to report to the police that I'd been kidnapped.
Things cooled off considerably. There were apologies and smiles all around. Like a moron...I stayed. My husband continued to be controlling, I hid it from my family, and we got new "counselors". Why I ever listened to people less qualified than even MYSELF about these matters, I just can't say for sure. I just remember feeling isolated.
I was then told to give up my career, it was suggested STRENUOUSLY, that anything I'd made financially be abundantly shared because my books had no spiritual worth, and have babies. I would be a better wife, I was told, if I had the contentment and challenge of raising children. I had two, two years apart. As soon as I realised 3 years ago, almost, that my husband would never change his abusive ways, and his reaction to our son's medical diagnosis of Autism was predictably to hit the roof, I insisted, finally, that he leave. He did, finally, and I've paid for it ever since in one way or another.
It was funny though....I was in the wrong, completely, until the moment my husband walked away from the ministry, then the same people who had condemned and berated me couldn't fall over themselves fast enough to court me, and tell me what a jerk he was. I was a fool, but I'm not any longer.
I have quietly faded from TWI, and really, no one cares about it. No one calls me, no one drops by now...I'm sure I'm not worth it to them. But, realistically, nearly 12 years, two kids, and a career in the toilet later...? I can say TWI didn't so much break my relationship up, as do its best to keep me in the worst relationship possible. Trusting people who might be skilled in scripture to be able to diagnose deep pathologies without any formal training in the areas that matter...seems a little off base to me.
But, I *am* 36 now...and a lot less naive.
Thanks for listening,
QThinker
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bowtwi
Good morning. QT - welcome to GreaseSpot!
Your story sounds like what so many of us have lived. You're at the right website.
There is much healing to be had here. I'm glad you found us!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Twinky
QT
Bless, you will find a lot of healing just being here, as Bowtwi says. It's not that misery likes company, but when you look and see the horrendous pattern that was being followed (as your own marriage did), you *know* you are not alone. Many of us have been through similar abuse and you have my deep sympathy.
LCM always hated writers and said they were full of ego. (That's probably because he himself had such a big ego.)
You could probably write some really good novels about what's happened (especially after you read some of the horrible stories on GSC), and expose the truth in your own special way. Do whatever it takes to effect your own healing.
Twinky
Link to comment
Share on other sites
QuietThinker
Thank you, Twinky and Bowtwi :)
You know it was funny...when I had books ready to be published, I was told it was "vain imaginings" on my part...yet, TWI cashed the checks we wrote without a problem.
My ex just phoned...he wants all his old TWI books and things...*sigh* Here we go again...now that our divorce is finally moving, he will repeat his pattern. Convince the new girl that he's a Godly-Guy, get her to fellowship, and the wheel will move.
I've gently explained that he can have his things, but not the kids. What joys of de-programming I may be faced with in future. However, starting this process has been good, and eventually, I think it will surface more fully in my writing.
My fella comes from a quaker background and occasionally still goes to meetings. I went with him, in Sheffield, when we were visiting his family in the UK. I actually started to sweat when I got to the meeting house, we were told such horrible things about the quakers in my HF. To my surprise, everyone was very nice and didn't push me or anything like that. It was so peaceful, that I fell asleep in the meeting (and hour of quiet reflection does that to me every time). My guy woke me up gently, smiled at me, then took me to the pub for a beer.
We still see everyone from Quakers when we are in the UK, and yet no one has the temerity to suggest that we're spiritual lightweights (or slugs), for not giving up everything to live the pacifist lifestyle.
A big difference.
Oh, and they didn't lecture me on the demonic symbolism of my tattoos, either :-)
QT
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.