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Ron goes to the doctor


Ron G.
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I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time outdoors, like hunting, fishing, camping, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

No, I don't, I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said, never

He asked, "do you shoot machineguns, play with pyrotechnics, incendiaries and hang out on the Tom Bowers website.

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a ....??"

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I got a call from my doctor. He said, "George I've got some bad news for you, and some even worse news."

"Oh Gawd, Doc, give me the bad news first, maybe I can work my way up to hearing the worse news" I replied.

"Well, I don't know how to say this nicely, but you've got 24 hours to live" the Doc said.

"Good Lord!" I shouted "What news could be worse than THAT!"

"Uh, I meant to call you yesterday"

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