Jade Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When the Mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?" "Yes", the Mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "That's great," said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be sh**-outta-luck if he needed glasses." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmiller Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SafariVista Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Gee, Little Johnny should perhaps get that spanking for his potty mouth?!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Strange Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Jade, Jade, Jade... what are we gonna do with you?!? here's one for you... Three third graders, a Catholic kid, an Italian kid and a Hillbilly kid are in the playground at recess. One of them suggests that they play a new game. "Lets see who has the largest weenie," he says. Okay." They all agree. The Catholic kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the Hillbilly kid whips his out. It is by far the biggest. That night, eating dinner at home, the Hillbilly kid's mother asks him what he did at school today. "Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book .. And dur ing recess, my friends and I played 'Let's see who has the largest weenie." "What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother. "Well, me, Michael and Anthony each pulled out our weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm a Hillbilly. Is that true, Mom?" Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're eighteen" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SafariVista Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 oh my.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmiller Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 9 of the best years of my life, were spent in third grade! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bone Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Three third graders, a Catholic kid, an Italian kid and a Hillbilly... The other kids say its because I'm a Hillbilly. Is that true, Mom?" Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're eighteen" Tom - that joke is truly inspiring - it shows you just how far a Hillbilly can go if he really applies himself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sprawled out Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 wait a sec--the Italian kid wasn't catholic??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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dmiller
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SafariVista
Gee, Little Johnny should perhaps get that spanking for his potty mouth?!?!?!
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Tom Strange
Jade, Jade, Jade... what are we gonna do with you?!?
here's one for you...
Three third graders, a Catholic kid, an Italian kid and a Hillbilly kid are in the playground at recess.
One of them suggests that they play a new game. "Lets see who has the largest weenie," he says.
Okay." They all agree.
The Catholic kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.
"That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer.
Not to be outdone, the Hillbilly kid whips his out. It is by far the biggest.
That night, eating dinner at home, the Hillbilly kid's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book .. And dur ing
recess, my friends and I played 'Let's see who has the largest weenie."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Michael and Anthony each pulled out our weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say its
because I'm a Hillbilly. Is that true, Mom?"
Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're eighteen"
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SafariVista
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dmiller
9 of the best years of my life, were spent in third grade!
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T-Bone
Tom - that joke is truly inspiring - it shows you just how far a Hillbilly can go if he really applies himself!
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sprawled out
wait a sec--the Italian kid wasn't catholic???
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