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The 2006 Darwin Awards...


markomalley
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Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.

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Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up!

Any other contenders?

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I dunno, even being the cynical jerk that I am, I've never found any humor in "The Darwin Awards".

Firstly, they're quite often totally fabricated, and - even if they are true - are we that hard up for entertainment that we have to have it at the expense of the mentally disturbed?

O.K., I'm a spoilsport...

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"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists',

A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery

Guess that settles that question. :evilshades:

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I have a candidate. And this is a real story. It's totally true. It happened to me on Sunday afternoon.

But I have to give you some background. Hubs works PT. He's in a service industry and has a number of repeat clients, and some who only call once in a while and a few who call once. I am used to hearing different voices and some that I don't know on the phone and you would be right, if you assumed that if I didn't know the person, I would assume that hubs did.

Phone rings Sunday afternoon and I answer. The voice says Hello. I say Hello. It's a male voice. He says, "I'm William", I say "William what can I do for you". William says "don't you remember me, I had sex with you last nite after we were in the bar". I'm stunned and don't say anything.

In a half second while this registers, William says, "I forgot to ask you about your HIV status".

I submit him for the award because, He mis-dialed the phone and didn't realize I wasn't the voice of the girl he slept with but kept on talking. He had sex with an apparent "stranger" with no "protection" and never let the idea of HIV enter his mind.

BTW I'll tell you what I answered him after some time goes by so you can let this sink in. But I can't think of anything more stupid, and also leading toward potentially killing yourself than having sex with a stranger with no protection.

What's your take? Does this make him eligible?

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It doesn't make him eligible, because he's still around to reproduce. Risking death does not constitute eligibility. If memory serves, one actually has to die in the process, in order to protect the rest of the species from transmitting the 'stupid' gene.

What are usually a redneck's last words?

"Hey, get a load of THIS!!!" :biglaugh:

Guess I'm past you on the cynicism spectrum, George, cause I do find this stuff hilarious. I've done some pretty stupid stuff in my life and have lived to regret it.

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You're right Sushi - - the fact that he's still alive disqualifies him.

However....I'm still glad that I told him "I'm positive for HIV"! He got real nervous and slammed the phone down...never knowing he called the wrong number.

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I dunno, even being the cynical jerk that I am, I've never found any humor in "The Darwin Awards".

Firstly, they're quite often totally fabricated, and - even if they are true - are we that hard up for entertainment that we have to have it at the expense of the mentally disturbed?

O.K., I'm a spoilsport...

I am quite entertained at the expense of the metally disturbed! -_- But you're right, many of them are fabricated.
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Here's one that should (but won't) qualify:

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- A 6-year-old Florida boy who was accidentally left behind by his family after they celebrated his birthday at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant will temporarily remain in state custody.

A judge said the state Department of Children and Families will likely determine Tuesday whether Michael Emanuel can live temporarily with a relative.

Emanuel's family said they accidentally left him Saturday night and didn't notice he was missing until the next day. Each relative thought the child was with another family member.

Employees at the Boca Raton restaurant called police and the child was taken into state custody.

An attorney for the boy's mother told the judge there were 12 youngsters at the party and as they all piled into cars to leave, the boy was simply overlooked.

Source: WFTV News

Any more info on this one, Raf?

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