I don't think we should fault anyone who wants to stop a bad habit and turn over a new leaf...[i should get a point for each pun - and one for the nun ]...
I don't think we should fault anyone who wants to stop a bad habit and turn over a new leaf...[i should get a point for each pun - and one for the nun ]...
That's right T-Bone... she's a changin' her ways... one peek, and a drink... now she's looking for more!
Wow - that's how bad my observation skills are - I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out Tom! And I guess you telling about it would make you a stool pigeon.
Wow - that's how bad my observation skills are - I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out Tom! And I guess you telling about it would make you a stool pigeon.
Three young nuns who worked the Catholic hospital were in the pew waiting to go into the confessional....
The first nun entered and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned. While performing my duties as a surgical assistant, I unexpectedly SAW a man's private parts. And while I know that there is nothing sinful in that act as I was doing a needed work, what I have to confess is that... it gave me unpure thoughts." The priest was a kindly old man who understood the emotions of young women and said simply, "Say 10 Hail Mary's sister, then go wash your eyes in the fountain of holy water in the courtyard".
The second nun entered and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned. While performing my duties as a nurse, I had to TOUCH the private parts of a man. And while I know that there is nothing sinful in that act as I was doing a needed work, what I have to confess is that... I LUSTED after him, father! Oh, how I lusted!" The kindly priest was a little more disturbed at this nun's confession but still remembered the passions of youth. He thought about it and then said simply, "Say 20 Hail Mary's sister, then go wash your hands in the fountain of holy water in the courtyard".
So the two nuns were out in the courtyard beside the fountain. One splashing her eyes the other washing her hands. And though they were nuns, they started to do what all women are wont to do... they started gossiping between themselves what the third nun could be confessing. All of a sudden, the tranquility of the courtyard is disturbed as the third nun comes barging in rather loudly and saying, "Move aside girls!! I've got to gargle!"
Two crack heads were standing on a corner one night trying to solicit some drugs when a nun passed them by. Seeing the two wayward youths, the nun stopped and went over to talk to them. She advised them that they were doing something very wrong and that they should go home and stop doing drugs.
One of the crackheads just smirked at her and turned his head...but the other listened intently and said "you're absolutely right, I'm going to heed you're advice"
When the nun left, the one crackhead asked his pal..."why did you agree with her?"
...He replied, "Any friend of Batmans is a friend of mine"
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topoftheworld
ROFL!
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SafariVista
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dmiller
Naughty Nun!!
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T-Bone
I don't think we should fault anyone who wants to stop a bad habit and turn over a new leaf...[i should get a point for each pun - and one for the nun
]...
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SafariVista
That's right T-Bone... she's a changin' her ways... one peek, and a drink... now she's looking for more!
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topoftheworld
It was a hot day outside..so the three nuns decided to take off there clothes and bolt the door to there church.
Since there was stain glass windows, nobody could see inside, and the door was locked.
The nuns were busy doing renovations when a Thud Thud Thud hit the door.
The shocked nun ran to the door and pulled her clothes up over herself, when she asked "Who is it"?
The reply from behind the door was "Its the blind man".
The 3 nuns looked relieved when they heard he was the blind man, no sight no problem they figured, and let him in.
Upon opening the door, in entered a burly man in coveralls and said "Holy crap sister-nice knockers!! ... Where do you want your blinds? "
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SafariVista
whooooo whooooo....
After that, they all headed for the BAR!
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topoftheworld
Priceless!
Hope they weren't kicked out of their order for that!
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Tom Strange
...it was a while before I noticed those were barstools!
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T-Bone
Wow - that's how bad my observation skills are - I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out Tom! And I guess you telling about it would make you a stool pigeon.
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SafariVista
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Sudo
Three young nuns who worked the Catholic hospital were in the pew waiting to go into the confessional....
The first nun entered and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned. While performing my duties as a surgical assistant, I unexpectedly SAW a man's private parts. And while I know that there is nothing sinful in that act as I was doing a needed work, what I have to confess is that... it gave me unpure thoughts." The priest was a kindly old man who understood the emotions of young women and said simply, "Say 10 Hail Mary's sister, then go wash your eyes in the fountain of holy water in the courtyard".
The second nun entered and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned. While performing my duties as a nurse, I had to TOUCH the private parts of a man. And while I know that there is nothing sinful in that act as I was doing a needed work, what I have to confess is that... I LUSTED after him, father! Oh, how I lusted!" The kindly priest was a little more disturbed at this nun's confession but still remembered the passions of youth. He thought about it and then said simply, "Say 20 Hail Mary's sister, then go wash your hands in the fountain of holy water in the courtyard".
So the two nuns were out in the courtyard beside the fountain. One splashing her eyes the other washing her hands. And though they were nuns, they started to do what all women are wont to do... they started gossiping between themselves what the third nun could be confessing. All of a sudden, the tranquility of the courtyard is disturbed as the third nun comes barging in rather loudly and saying, "Move aside girls!! I've got to gargle!"
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GrouchoMarxJr
Two crack heads were standing on a corner one night trying to solicit some drugs when a nun passed them by. Seeing the two wayward youths, the nun stopped and went over to talk to them. She advised them that they were doing something very wrong and that they should go home and stop doing drugs.
One of the crackheads just smirked at her and turned his head...but the other listened intently and said "you're absolutely right, I'm going to heed you're advice"
When the nun left, the one crackhead asked his pal..."why did you agree with her?"
...He replied, "Any friend of Batmans is a friend of mine"
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