Tonto and Lone Ranger

[Shellon]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for

the night. After they got their tent all set up, both

men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and

says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you "Kemo Sabe?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are

millions of galaxies and potentially billions of

planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in

Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a

quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's

evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and

insignificant. Meteorologically , it seems we will

have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you,

Tonto?"

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe,

you dumber than buffalo crap. It means someone stole

tent."

[dmiller]

Sound sleepers!!!

[J0nny Ling0]

Good one!

In the accent of joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon as "Leo". "Okay Okay! I got another Lone Ranger joke. Okay okay!!"

"Okay! The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses up a very narrow canyon. As they look ahead to the top of the draw, Both men see hundreds of indians with war paint, painted ponies, complete with bows and lances up on the rim. Then they look up to the right to the top and see hundreds more indians all looking just as menacing. They look up th to the left and see...the same thing! They both whip their heads around and look down the canyon only to see the same grim picture of hundreds of hostile looking indians seemingly bent on mayhem.

The Lone Ranger then looks frantically at Tonto and says; "Tonto! What are we gonna do about all those Indians!?" And Tonto, stone faced looks at The Lone Ranger and asks; "Waddya me mean we whiteman?"

[topoftheworld]

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to relieve himself. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush, pulls down his pants ,and then screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis! Go to town and ask the doctor what to do."

So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake! What do I do?"

The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim."

Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?"

Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"

[dmiller]