A la prochaine

Only a brother would get away with asking such a question!!!

Outandabout, Evaluations...God I dreaded those, I hated them. I would usually come out of those feeling like I wanted a jump off the nearest bridge. We never seem to ever do it well enough or good enough or 'best' enough. There was this "MARK" we were all supposed to attain...it was elusive and impossible. We were supposed to be perfect...throughly perfected unto all good works... PERFECT, PERFECT, PERFECT...and if you happen to flub-up they made sure to let you know before you could even explain yourself...because explaining yourself only meant you were rationalizing your behaviour. Explaining what happened only meant you weren't meek. Explaining yourself only meant you 'didn't see it'. If you happened to say something to someone with no ill intent...they made sure to find something wrong with you and they way you intended to say it. And all or most of this was brought up during evaluations...every fault, every mis-hap...even unbeknownst to you ... it was brought up. Things that were told to the LC/BC... by others ... was brought to your attention. The biggest lie about the whole 'evaluation' thing was it was always done to BETTER your life. So you could see where you needed to grow. So you could reach the MARK. It did nothing but sink me under deeper. Our last evaluation, our loving leader R*ndy G*nn, started asking us how much time we spent with our earthly families. We lived in a town where both our earthy families (God I hate that term...i want to vomit just typing those words) lived close by. We sheepishly told him that my one daughter took piano lessons with my sister-in-law for free. He said...you need to watch that. He then asked me about my sister...who would pop-in periodically unannounced. He seemed to know more about her than I did. I then asked him how he knew this. He said that the BC of my area had told him. I said, "The BC has never mentioned any of this to me or that this was a problem." He than called the BC in and they agreed that they felt it was a problem and a terrible influence in my life. One that I did not see spiritually. My sister would come over to help with the girls, or take us shopping, or go for lunch...things that a mom at home appreciates ... just to get out and feel apart of the real world again. (especially when you're involved in a mind-bending, life encroaching cult). This was said that it was a terrible influence. I was asked about my health. I told them that I was recently diagnosed with a mild dose of asthma. I was told ... YOU NEED TO WATCH THAT. IT CAN GET OUT OF CONTROL. I felt evil for having this problem. We were also asked about our finances and our debts. Then he told us that our twig members were weak, that they were burdens in the household. That they weren't cutting it sorta speak. Then he said that we could no longer run a fellowship. That the people in our fellowship had to attend a fellowship some 30 miles away. (this included my elderly mother-in-law). And that we were not to attend the same fellowship as them. So we drove also 30 miles 2x's / week (plus another time for corps hook-ups) to attend fellowship. When all of this was done...my sweet,tender husband sat in his chair crying. I did not. I was angry. I was soooooooo angry. I couldn't believe how much evil could actually live in one human being's heart. I was numb. There's a taste of a corps evaluation for you!

Outandabout, I love your story. I know I'm repeating myself here...but I do. Glad to see you keep strange hours ... I do too. :D-->

Outandabout, I love your writing style. It's so well constructed. It reads so well!! I love all the details. I love how your details are just enough to give us a taste of what you were experiencing. I am just taken with your story. I find it most fascinating. I relate on so many many points. OH MY...LOOSING MONEY ON THE INTEREST! I cannot believe that HA actually had the balls to come out and publicly say that. SH!T!!! Still anxiously awaiting the continuation of your story.

You two are the cutest sibblings ever!!! But it looks to me that big sis' is getting a little bossy here... :D--> Texasone...I had big sisters ... I know exactly how it feels. ;)--> Outandabout...I'm just kidding! :D-->

Sweet Story ... keep sharing.. I love it!

OutinTexas, I can so relate to your story. I too was witnessed to by my older sister. But the scenerios were reversed for us. I was booted in 94, and she only left about 2 yrs. ago. It was a tough 9 years or so cause the time we were out and she was in, she never talked to us. She lived 30 miles away. Keep telling your story. I think it's wonderful that you've come here and shared your story. I've been trying to get my sister to come on board as well. I hope someday soon it will happen. RASCAL, Yes, it was barely an existence wasn't it.

Outandabout, Still waiting ... the suspense is killing me!!!

Outandabout, They were right??? OK...I know it's tempting to think that way and I completely understand that state of mind because I was under that delusion as well. BUT think for just one moment... If you had seen someone is the same pain/anguish/torment you were in...would you for one millisecond think,"Oh, there's someone in need...I think I'll go over there and verbally abuse them! That will surely pick them up and make them feel like a million dollars. God, I'm good!" I know for a fact that it would never in a lifetime cross your mind. Therefore, you were more christian-like than they'd ever hope to be in a millenium. You were a good person ... they were not. Bottom line. They chose to do what they did. That's what makes them weak. You were the strong one. You never succumbed to the hardness they insisted you should have to be the nazi they expected you to be. Applaud yourself Outandabout...you done good!

Ahhh.. flat stanley lost his whereabouts and his passport too. :(--> The passport was cool when i read it ...to see everyone's signatures and comments. I hope it shows up! I think we need a prayer vigil for stanley

Outandabout, Oh my...I have been reading for the past hour at least(I'm a slow reader) and I came to the end of page 2 and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh you haven't finished.... come back come back...i feel like i've lived your whole life in these few hours. i so relate to you and your twi lifestyle. i got into twi at 15 and lived 'on the streets' for years it seemed as well. moved 14 times in 7 years. it must be very healing for you to write this. it's been healing for me to read it as well. i want to know who hubby ended up being... i love a good love story. Scout, reptiles. hee hee

Outandabout, Yes, it is amazing that we were reduced to such thinking!! To think that we were praying to God to not be abused. God must have been crying in heaven to see such a mess. It was the complete opposite to what TWI claimed they taught. Remember they taught that Righteousness was being able to stand before God without any sense of sin, fear or guilt. Sheeshh......again.... did they ever miss that mark!!! luke John and Ringo too!

OUTINTEXAS WELL HOWDY PARDNER!!! Welcome to the caf?BR>Glad you enjoy the menu! :D-->

A few of you mentioned TWI and it's unchristian like way. I just listened to this song written by an NON-TWI person gasP!!! and I think these words are some of the most beautiful Godly inspired words I have ever heard. This is sung by Alison Krauss and written by one of her band members Ron Block. Enjoy :)--> ------------------------------------------- A LIVING PRAYER (Ron Block) In this world I walk alone with no place to call my home But there's One who holds my hand The rugged road through barren lands The way is dark, the road is steep But He's become my eyes to see The strength to climb, my griefs to bear This Savior lives inside me there In Your love I find release A haven from my unbelief Take my life and let me be A living prayer my God to thee In these trials of life I find Another Voice inside my mind He comforts me and bids me live Inside the love the Father gives In your love I find release A haven from my unbelief Take my life and let me be A living prayer my God to thee take my life and let me be A living prayer my God to thee ------------------------------------------ this line: He comforts me and bids me live Inside the love the Father gives sends shivers down my spine. TWI so missed the mark -->

Hope, Great thread. I remember my very first corps advance I attended. Just to give a bit of history here...I entered the corps but only lasted 1 yr. I got into trouble for everything. I was not necessarily the aggressive type who mouthed off to leaders, but just the opposite. So I think leaders took advantage of that fact, and pounce on my head at every given chance. After that fiasco, I did end up marrying a corps person (who by the way I still love dearly cause he was NEVER a NAZI!!!) so here I was again in the a corps environment. Now, back to the corps advance. I for weeks before the event, cried each night and told my husband I did not want to go. He could go alone and I would be fine to just stay home. He could not understand why I felt this way. Finally through much anguish, I told him the reason why I felt the way I did. The reason was that I felt I would get into trouble and be yelled at publicly for something I'm sure they would find I was doing wrong in my life. I did attend the weekend and nothing of the sort happened. But, that was because some beautiful people like (Sky ;)-->) ran it. I felt I had been conditioned like one of Pavlov's dogs.

Happy Birthday Jardinero my friend!!! and congrats on the new job - you certainly deserve it girl! (ok...who picked the music? -->)

OK... so this thing about the broken leg is another story made up to make lcm look like he walked on water? is that it? Even my hubby said he had heard the story. Dove, funny.

Alfie, hahahahahhahhahhahhhhhhahaahahahahahha!!!!

Mr. H, YOU ARE A FUNNY MAN! (tho, i must admit...your avitar to me looks like a woman??? -->) Is it just me?

OK, Talking about LCM and his so called football career, I remember being told that at one point LCM broke his leg during a game but played the rest of the game with a broken leg. Is this true?

OK...i know i'm a little behind here with my response...but i must say something just the same. Socks you posted on page 1 of this thread. It's been about 2 days since I read your posts and i'm still laughing...i'm dying here!!! thank you thank you thank you. your summation of leadership and their arrogant ways was priceless!!! it's so great to be here on gs when i stumble across such things. makes my heart sing! :D-->

If it's not about this Sky, it's not about anything! thanks for your story. it healed me.

Georgio, OH MY GOD!!! georgio...i'm flabbergasted...how absolutely f*ckingly stupid...oh my god.......!!! That limb leader had the brains of a shoe horn!

Oaksie, --> Where does it end?

Steve, EXACTLY!! Thank you for the lovely compliment. When I was done walking in the wow parade, one of the guys in another wow family, hugged me in tears and said, "Thank God it's over!" My sentiments exactly.