krys

Sudo - I do know of children such as your daughter. I've run into perhaps about a dozen or so that I had to deal with personally, and few parents were still trying at your stage of the game. You and your wife, and indeed the rest of your family have my deepest respect for your stand, for not backing down and not giving up. You probably have already done this, but if she were my daughter I would insist on a full complete medical exam including a screening by an endocrinologist. Hormones, besides those that rage in teenagers naturally can wreak havoc and can be adjusted. Another possibility might be a full and complete neurological exam by a competent neurologist. Things they know today are remarkable. I don't want you to go down another blind alley, but it might be worth a shot. Your child has been like this a long time, but I have seen more than one youngster over night change into an absolute terror, and upon exam, was found to have suddenly become diabetic. I just state this to reinforce the idea of hormones acting in strange ways, I think if your child was diabetic you'd have known it long ago. On another note: It is true that her record may be expunged at 18 but there is no guarantee that she will get there (to 18) without some other offense which will cause it to not be. There are situations, at least in NJ, where that is not true. Here, after a certain age, their behavior must be letter perfect...not even a traffic ticket. I do hope she can and will control herself after that age,and it would be good if she started practicing that now.

I agree about the public humiliation. What might be a good idea privately is not necessarily good for public consumption. Maybe then mom should stand on the street corner wearing a sign saying "I should have found a better way"! There was a time when parents were encouraged to let their children develop their own individuality and somehow that engendered permissiveness which spilled out and over into bad behavior. I'm glad to see things turning around. I'm also glad to see that our general surroundings encourage better behavior. There are still some wrapped candies and gum at supermarket registers, but they've removed the individual lollipops that my young children would like to have had a tantrum for. There are always going to be discussions about how children should be raised. And that's a good thing. At least most parents today are setting rules and boundaries and making their children responsible for their own behavior. "That's a good thing".....aka Martha Stewart.

Thanks guys! I'm really less anxious about the trip now...NOT!!

I'm not sure how bad that really is, living in the north east. But I'll say "whew", and leave it at that because I trust you and I know you know what you're talking about. Thanks for allieviating some of my fears.

We are leaving here....NJ....on Sunday morning. I expect the storm itself will be over, but I'm wondering about debris and wind along the way.

And we're leaving by car early Sunday morning for an area not too far from west Palm Beach for Thanksgiving. Rats!

Bramble: I did not have a middle school nearly as good as the one your children attend. Not even close. I couldn't get weekly reports if I asked for them. They had no midterms. Maybe this is why so many kids in our town had such a hard time in high school. I don't live there now, so I don't know what happens today. Some children are different from others. Some are harder to "train" than others. I went through a period of time when my daughter played her music so loudly that it rattled the fillings in my teeth. Discussions and pleadings led nowhere. So - I told her the next time her music was too loud and I asked her to turn it down and she did not respond I would flip the circuit breaker to her room for 1 hour. She tested me, and there was no power in her room for 1 hour. During the quiet period, I again explained to her how her music volume (not the music) bothered me and please cooperate because consequences would only increase. She got teen-testy and wanted to know the consequences. I told her that it would not be 1 hour, but 1 whole day. Things went along fairly well for a week or so and I guess she forgot our discussion. Well the day finally came when I asked her again to turn down the volume and she refused to do it and I had no choice because it bothered me to such a degree that I did flip the circuit breaker. She had to do her homework in the dining room, arrange for a friend to call her to waker her in the morning...she had to figure out a way to get her hair dried and curled in and out of our single bathroom while the rest of us were getting ready. It took that degree of her inconvenience before she got the message. I'm not advocating making a spectacle out of your kids for sport, but if the gentle way doesn't work, then maybe one needs stronger consequences to teach the lesson. I never liked my children being humiliated either. However, if kids don't get the message of responsibility, I would rather see them embarrassed as teenagers than floundering as adults. Bramble, I wish my children had that middle school. Their lives and their educations would have been all the better for it. But, when they were that age, 18 or so years ago, they didn't get the reinforcement at school to help me at home. I am so glad your children have a similar standard all the time.

I wish I would have thought of that when I needed it! Very creative indeed. Our kids always knew that we love them and supported them, and we made a distinct difference between them and their actions. I even used words that stated as much. When my oldest at about 4 started a bad whiny period, I covered my ears and said "my ears don't hear whining" and God gave me the where-with-all to hold out until she got the idea and used a normal tone of voice. It was over pretty quickly and whenever either of them started that particular tactic back up again....they got the same response, so we heard very little of that! I was less than a perfect parent! But - I know this kind of thing works. Don't we all base our decisions on the consequences of our previous actions?

Linda has given you excellent food for thought. The knife does cut both ways but one can be successful in one's own business. Consider a service rather than a product. A friend of mine made a fairly decent living running errands. She grocery shopped, took cars through inspection lines, brought clothes to cleaners and retrieved them. If you can acquire proper license and insurance, you can take older people to doctor appointments, wait with them and bring them home again. If you can find, or make a unique niche, you should do well.

I've really enjoyed this discussion. I've often thought I'd like to do something similar with some of my stitching (enhanced embroidery and Hardanger) but some pieces take so long that I hesitate to part with some of them for money. Gifts yes - money - not so sure. I can make some wicked candle wraps though! I've never done it, but I know I can...I've done all the basics individually.

I've been enjoying that place today. Not just the picture forum, but the gallery., What is the advantage of one over the other? Are we keeping both? Is there difference between them? I think I like the way the gallery displays things better, so please would somebody tell us how to get in there? Maybe that could get pinned to the top of the Picture forum?

The only way this cluster of disabling defects happens is during the first trimester of pregnancy. Having rubella before pregnancy, or in the later stages doesn't produce this. Saying that the woman told her daughter all about it and how she should have aborted is an awful thing. However, nobody can imagine that she just came right out and stated all of this to condemn or criticize the girl from out of the blue. There must be a whole lot more to this story than the 8 lines of text quoted above. I can easily see such information being revealed after a series of questions and processing of this info as the daughter grew and was able to understand. I can easily see the child complaining, and rightfully so, "how did I get in this predicament"....or "why me" kind of thing. This probably began when the child was young and began to realize her deficiencies. I can see this as an evolution of a series of discussions over a period of time as the girl became older and more mature to understand it. I know this sounds like I'm making up a pretend story, but I have had discussions with my children over a number of things, like where do babies come from, among other things. And, I do agree that telling a child about the abortion thing is cruel at the least. However, suppose it came out in the discussions in the form of a question and the girl asked her mother...."if you knew.....would you have.....". In that case, it's a matter of judgment whether to be truthful or lie about it if that were the case. I just am not convinced that this mother really deserves the bad rap she appears to get based on 8 lines on text in a newspaper.

Your link worked for me! ...sadly a blockage in the patient's pulmonary artery stopped God's love, and a lot of blood.. This is one great example of a healing ministry isn't it? No winer it's a "Traveling "Ministry"...can't hang around too long with a record like this!!!

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but he's being accused of missing a disease diagnosis. The result of that failure, removed the mother's opportunity for choice if she wanted to use it. I think that puts things in a different light. I wouldn't condemn the mother for telling the daughter about this without more insight. I've had some very sensitive discussions with my own children in helping them come to terms with the reality of their adoption. "Why didn't my mother want me" kind of things, and others.I attended adoptive parents meetings, and when one of the adoptive parents was confronted with helping his teenager stay out of the drug scene, the counselor suggested he might think about telling the young man that he had in his genetic line (the boy) several alcoholic and drug addicted individuals, NOT to place blame, but rather to point out to the young man how careful he had to be because he is more susceptible than the family he lives with, and it would help remove some of the guilt the young man was facing. It was hard to do, but it was helpful to the young man because in fact, it did help alleviate his guilt. That's correct. However, it is possible to diagnose rubella with blood tests of the mother. If the woman was tested, and diagnosed, those defects would have been a foregone conclusion. I'm not trying to be argumentative or trying to pick a fight here. I am trying to point out that we only know what was reported in the paper. The complete story is almost never reported in such instances, and while such topics make great discussions and are great thought provokers, they sometimes cause us to judge something we may not have the right to judge.

I guess my spring was coiled up a bit too tightly; that's how it often is in jersey.

here is more.... I hear the radio say "major", this account says "very strong" I don't know what the difference is. read about it here

I just heard on the news that there was a major earthquake (about 6.9) in the Pacific and a tsunami was headed to Japan. hoping and praying....

I'm putting my 2 cents in here too to say I agree with everything that's already been said....only I didn't get to say it first. But it doesn't matter who says it first....it's most important that you know how much you are valued! Happy B'Day

The only comforting thing about this tropical depression is that it is improbable that it will become a hurricane. The water is not warm enough now to permit such a storm to form. Hurricane season ends in about 2 weeks and hurricanes that develop now are very rare.

She could even be his tutor!

And I wish assisted suicide was legal in all states. I see this as an individual's right to choose deferred several decades. I think of this in the light of the last 10 minutes of the film Soylent Green. I can't imagine myself in a situation where I would ever select abortion, but if I ever were in such a predicament, I'd like the opportunity to make that desision myself, not have it mandated to me. At the moment I don't see any conditions that would cause me to go down the suicide path, but I can envision such conditions in my mind. If I were of sound mind, and came to believe that my continued living would be so horrible for not only me, but my family to bear, I would like the option of making that decision as well, without any law binding my wishes. I would like to retain my dignity.

I agree it's dejavu! I wonder how well he can spit though!

Yes! What Ron said. In my view, most folks don't give this day the significance it deserves.

Much depends on your individual need and what's available where you are. I presently use cable for TV, computer and phone. One bill is nice and it's always the same. It is a sizable chunk however. With family living far away, and other friends moving a large distance soon, 34.99 for telephone use, no matter where, or how far is very attractive for us. Some will find a cell phone plan to handle long distance calls to be least expensive As more broadcasting is becoming digital I don't understand the need for a dish network. I understand the very large assortment of channels could draw many more viewers, but when I used a dish previously, it wasn't worth the cost because the dish was subject to so many local weather conditions. If you live in a rural area, dish networks may be your best choice. We don't use Com cast. I don't even know if it's available here. We use another cable service from Time-Warner. I know that our area was recently rebuilt in such a way that no user shares the same node as more than 250 others. This keeps quality high. We have used this cable provider since cable first came to our area more than 35 years ago and have always been satisfied with their service and repair record. Since the system has been upgraded, their service has gotten even better. I don't know if it's the cable provider only who gets this credit. I've seen a number of dishes go up in my neighborhood in the past few years, and quite a number of them come down after the first contract year. Whatever you're selecting, be sure to read and understand everything in the contract. Sometimes certain good looking advantages terminate after a trial period of time, and you will need to ante up more bucks to retain them.

There is absolutely nothing political about this except the motives behind the individuals who caused this boy's death. I have no idea what I would do if a child of mine died suddenly like he did; but I would hope I'd have the presence of mind to donate any and all organs and tissues which could be helpful or vital to someone else. This is my opinion, of course, but I can't imagine a greater tribute to the individual who died than to allow anyone who will benefit to use the organs and tissues that belonged to him.