TheHighWay

When my father was on his death-bed -- after years of illness, too tired to fight the fight anymore -- the "comfort" that I got from my LC was, "It's not to late for him to believe to be healed." In other words, I was supposed to take what might be my last precious moments with my dad and preach to him about a ministry and the beliefs I held -- and he and I had discussed at length -- for 10 years already. I was still very much a waybot back then but at least I had enough heart left in me to ignore that bit of advice, and just let my dad know I loved him right to the end, no matter what. And yes, my hubby expected me to be all done mourning by the time I returned from the funeral. How utterly foolish. I've learned first-hand and through others that it takes the average person at least a year to completely get through the grieving process... each change of season, each new holiday, will bring with it memories and emotions you will have to deal with. There is no way to "make" yourself remember everything and deal with everything in a matter of days or even weeks. So I (apparently like countless other twiglets) mourned in secret.

CK ... thanks for relaying the info.

Jardinero, Check with Abigail... I just had to give up my space in her cabin... that might still be available.

QUOTE: How can these people sleep at night? I am reminded of an interview I saw with the actor Jason Isaacs, who plays such deeply evil villains as Col. William Tavington in The Patriot, and Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies. He was asked how he got into character to play such bad guys. His statement has stuck with me ever since. He said: All villains genuinely believe their actions are justified. He went on to say that as an actor the key of playing a believable villain was to understand what the bad guy considered to be his own "higher motives"... the reasons he gave himself to justify such normally indefensible actions. So, my answer to the quote is: They can sleep at night because they have completely and utterly justified their own behaviors as being "reasonable means" to accomplish their own "higher motives". Which also tells me there is virtually nothing they will stop at to keep their little empire alive.

Well, shoot... as they say, "Life happens" and something has come up for that weekend that I simply cannot put off and I will now not be able to attend. So close, yet so far away. Maybe next year. THW

Here's an interesting site on Randall Woodfield as well: http://www.charlespresspub.com/woodfield.html Creepy. Just creepy.

Brother Speed, Thanks for taking time to post here. And a big THANK YOU and your fellow service men and women for doing what you are doing!!! THW

You two look like you were made for each other. Thanks so much for posting these!!! May life treat you to all the best from now on...

While I don't appreciate being "sold-to" or "preached-at" I do want this forum to stay as open as possible, so let 'em post. (unless they get so offensive or derail so many threads as to be genuinely disruptive) I'm an adult. I don't have to read everything on this site. I simply choose to ignore the postings of those I've learned have an agenda I don't fit into. No biggie. I mostly feel sorry for them. Because (much like an old smoker who has finally quit) I believe my way to be much better.

Hehehehe... good one, mstar1

I'm a big fan of massage therapists and chiropractors... it makes sense to me that your spine and your muscles are pretty much the bulk of what makes up your body, so if they are "out of sorts" the effects can be dramatic and widespread. Years ago my son started having seering pains in his thigh -- so bad couldn't sleep and couldn't put any weight on that leg. We saw a myriad of doctors who shrugged their shoulders and put him through some painful and expensive tests and therapies. After weeks of this, a friend brought us to his chiropractor. ONE adjustment and my kid was hopping around playing like normal. It was a pinched nerve in his lower back. When I went back to each of these doctors to tell them what the problem turned out to be, were they happy to learn something new? To be better prepared to diagnose the next patient? Oh, hell no. They just sorta turned their heads and coughed as if to say, "well, if you want to take your kid to a quack..."

Agreed. Thank you both, Linda Z and Catcup for those posts. I purposely didn't express my opinions on this thread out of respect for the situation, but since its been brought up, I will add this much: Yes, Mrs. W's decision to stay with twi was a factor in my deciding to stay. ONE FACTOR of several. In the end, it was MY decision to stay with twi. I've decided it's unfair for me to blame her, because I think she was just as messed up by these people as I was, and coping the best way she knew how. I let friends, who were totally convinced of the "rightness" of twi even in its darkest days, talk me out of my decision to leave... a few times, in fact. Was it their fault they believed in twi, or my fault that I listened to them despite my own gut feelings? As for the woman, herself... I didn't know her well, but I was around her often and never saw her behave in an ungracious or unkind way. She made my time at HQ a little more enjoyable by her presence. And while I wouldn't have expected her to remember me from a ....-ant, I ran into her during my last visit to HQ and she greeted me warmly and asked how I was doing. I don't worship her, and I haven't forget that she made mistakes... plenty of them. But I do remember her fondly. Along with the other "good bits" of twi. It doesn't mean I've forgotten the rest. It just means I choose to deal with those issues at another, more appropriate time and place.

Wordwolf... yeah, silly me for being HONEST at a CHURCH !!! lol

I've attended a few churches since leaving twi and have always been turned off after just ONE meeting. Surprisingly, NOT usually by their doctrine. What makes my Red-Flag-O-Meter go off? 1 - recruiting agenda (more business than heart) The gal walked over to me, stack of cards in her hands. She handed me one. Without looking me in the eye, and without engaging me in any kind of conversation, or welcoming me in any way, she said, "I need you to fill out this card, please. I'll be back in a few minutes to collect it." [Gee, you make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.] 2 - manipulation and control The obligatory new-person card had only two options to choose from: -- I'm a born-again Christian, interested in becoming a member of your church -- I'm looking for answers in my life and would like to counsel with one of your pastors That's it: you are either in our club or you want to get into our club. 3 - negative narrow-mindedness While attending what I thought would be a nice, traditional Easter service, I was haranged with the message that if I didn't believe Jesus was God I was going to Hell. Period. You are bad, you are doomed, you are stupid... for an hour and a half. [Like those kinds of statements could convince anyone to rethink their beliefs. Real uplifting.] 4 - invasiveness When filling out the new-person-card I purposely didn't give them my phone number. The following week my koolaid-drinking-ex (the only one in the phone book with our name) got a phone call from the deacon of this church trying to locate me!!! [trust me, this fella got quite the return phone call from me.] I love the description of us being the canaries in the mines... I know I have a zero-tolerance for "show" without substance. All of these examples were from different churches...

Has there been any news? How is she doing? I've been thinking about her and her family every day...

Okay, Digger apologized... you guys know there's always more to the story than just one line... I know Digger, and he has a huge heart... this was NOT about age, looks, etc.!!!!

Sudo... it will indeed be great to finally meet so many folks face-to-face!! Jelly? Did someone say jelly? Okay... now I'm hungry for some jelly donuts!!!

I'll be there, with the kiddo.

"The Rod of Correction" aka the friggin wooden spoon... This subject just makes my blood boil. I never knew GB was that kind of bully. I just knew I didn't much like him. But there I was, the child-less corps stooge at the Indiana campus who over-used the rod because I was told to and didn't know any better (thankfully only twice but it was twice too many and still haunts me!!!) And I later became the mom who realized that while the first "tap" with a spoon was SOMETIMES necessary, usually it was not. My child was the sensative, intellectual type who would immediately be beside himself after the first swat, and he wouldn't be able to process a thing you said to him until you calmed him down. So, at home I wouldn't use it at all, and constantly battled with my ex about it. He told me we needed to toughen our son up, and train him not to be so sensative. At twi gatherings I used the rod only lightly (for show) and got reproved because I didn't "follow through" (meaning I would just talk to him after the first swat). They just couldn't get the fact that he was ALWAYS, even as a toddler, the kind of kid who responded extremely well if he understood WHY you wanted certain behaviors from him. A little explanation, a little understanding on his part and he was good as gold... still is that way. But if you just order him to do stuff with no explanation he gets frustrated and angry and upset and resentful. (a lot like me, I guess... lol) But they didn't like that. I was forever being told I rationalized with him too much, and that I should be training him to "simply obey". I was told to use the rod "firmly" and repeatedly until he was submissive enough to hear what I wanted to tell him. HAH. Each swat just drove him closer to the edge of an all-out freak. And then they would tell me that he was testing me and that if I "gave in" he would learn that disobedience led to victory. I had to out-last him. (hence the stories of adults flicking or swatting kids for hours on end!!!) --- this from the people who's kids turned out to be the most bullying, vindictive, taunting, arrogant teens I've ever met --- You know, experience has taught me that kids come hard-wired with certain personality traits, and you are foolish if you try ignore that. You teach a sensative kid not to be so sensative by building up his own self-esteem. Then he has the inner strength to withstand the criticisms, mistakes, and obstacles that are a part of every-day life. All the swats did was belittle my son and eat away at his self-esteem. His father would order him to "control his emotions" so he would bottle up his frustration and swallow his tears only to have it all explode at some other time (usually way out of proportion). It's taken being away from his dad half of the time (aka divorce), and some counseling, and a lot of self-esteem building, but he's now a mostly normal, happy kid... who's still on the sensative side and responds better to reasoning than to orders. I'm so VERY sorry for you kid-corps who were at the mercy of such ignorant, arrogant bullies as GB !!!!

Jeff... thank you for letting us know. Please keep us posted on any details you get. Thanks!!

She's Home!!!!! Landed Safe and Sound at Edwards Air Force Base in California a few minutes ago. Yea!!

CW, TWI had some folks that would have been hard to get along with in any situation, but in my experience, there were far more really, truly nice people who got involved. Frankly, twi rewarded "strength" (ie- being a hard-@$$ jerk) and "single-mindedness" (ie- sticking your nose way up into people's business looking to find the current trendy problem in order to confront and purge it from your area so you could make yourself look good.) This didn't encourage "difficult" people to change, but did encourage "decent" people to become more hard-edged. So, to answer your question, I blame the structure and system that was twi.

Bliss, at this point it sounds like you are doing the right things. I would only add that I think you are right not to overwhelm your husband with too much, too soon. If twi has been his support system for a long period of time, and you overwhelm him, his instinct will be to "run and hide" within his support system. It's just human nature. You want to coax him out, not scare him back in.

Cowgirl, Here's my very broad generalization of American politics... Left (left-wing) = Liberal = Democrat Right (right wing) = Conservative = Republican The die-hard liberals reputedly think most conservatives are narrow-minded religious zealots who believe in big business and want to control everything with their wealth. Conservatives say they just believe in having strong standards that don't move with every wind of change, and that the smaller the government, the better the opportunities for all Americans to improve themselves. The die-hard conservatives reputedly think most liberals are socialists-in-training and believe that a one-world-government (with themselves at the helm, of course) is the answer. Liberals say they are open-minded enough to recognize that the world changes, so rules must change with it, and that's the best way to show kindness and serve mankind worldwide. In my opinion, the truth is somewhere in the middle, and that's the beauty of the American system... the political bodies may swing far one way or far the other way, but ultimately they tend to balance each other out in the long run.

I agree... he was too "left" for me, but of all the anchors, he was the one I liked the best. You definately got the sense that he was a good guy. He will be missed.