TheHighWay

Lately I've been converting my paper copies of twi materials (yes, I've kept most things, as a sort of archive) to a digital format. And I realized that my set of "About the Way" articles is missing March and April of 1983. Since there are other errors on the index list (several articles in May of 1981 are included but not listed) I wonder if this was a mistake that happened in the HQ copy room and simply got perpetuated as more copies were made? Or did I manage to loose those articles? If anyone has a set, I'm looking for these dates: March 21, 24,28,31 1983 and April 4, 9, 11, 18, 28 1983 Also... I never gave it much thought, but the January 21, 1983 article says, "137th Paid Article"... I know how much it costs my office to place a two paragraph job listing... anyone know what VPW paid to have a weekly (sometimes daily) article placed in the local paper for three years?

I was still a newbie when the chalet was built and not aware of how the building of this thing was promoted. But, when I was in-rez (late 1980s) we were given a tour of the place and told that it was originally intended to be a new residence for VPW and Dotsie. He was gonna hang out there, and let the corps hang out there and fellowship. But after he spent a very short time there he decided he HATED it. He missed his own home and decided not to move afterall. (so much for thinking things through, counting the cost, revelation, etc.) So, now they had this big, expensive building standing empty. Most of us would say, "More room for the visiting corps!!!" But no, they decided that Craig and Donna now needed a place at HQ of their own, and Vic "gave" the chalet to them. Once Craiggers moved in, because they had little kids and all, they had to use more of the space themselves, and of course, they couldn't have corps breezing in and out, so, everything changed. The place became more and more of a fortress. Finally resulting in the entire wooded area being off limits to anyone but them. (so much for being good to the household) Typical of twi, they didn't inform people about why, or apologize, or act like they had falsely advertise, promote, fund-raise, etc. Nothing. Nadda. Zip. As for the maintenance nightmare, I know that the log-home company that provided it is still in business... did they not realize that the climate was completely different from where these logs originated? Or did the leadership of twi ignore their warnings?

I called it unraveling the bowl of spaghetti. I needed to go back and remember who I was before twi... - what did I like to do? what was I good at? - what did I hate to do? what was I lousy at? - why did twi catch my interest? what was missing in my life? - why did twi hold my interest? why did I stay involved after my interest wained? - what did I really believe in? what did I BS-to-get-by on? Then, I needed to figure out my place in the universe now... - Family? -- Thank goodness they were forgiving. I was certainly a pompous jerk to most of them. - Friends? -- I cherish the old ones. we have a history. New ones are hard to come by. - Trust? -- Nope. Not in organized religion. Never again. Not much in people, either. - Belief? -- Maybe. Still unsure what I think of God. Now I just watch and think a lot. - Happiness? -- Yes, I think so. There are ups. There are downs. But they are all mine. That led me to "What the heck do I want to do now?" - hobbies: creative things that make me feel like I've accomplished something that others can enjoy - house: YES!!! my very own! (well, me and the bank) -- paint, decorate, build, fix, mow, plant -- I love it! - job: much more freedom of type, hours, etc. - school: finally going back to get that long-put-off degree I'm still putting pieces together and filling holes in all of this... but I've come an awful long way in six!!! (wow, has it really been that long?!!)

I'm with Ex... I joined for good reasons. Was I scum? Not when I went in; just weak. Was I scum? When I came out; yes probably... definately was part of carrying things out I deeply regret to this day. Am I still scum? I sure try not to be. I've apologized to folks, given them my friendship, my kindness, my business, my genuine interest. I try to "do good" whenever it is within my power and be of benefit as much as I can, and feel that I do far more good today than I ever did as a corpse, for sure!!

Aleya, Thanks for the update. We will keep John, his family, and you in our thoughts and prayers. I am so glad to hear that you did break things off with him, and terribly sorry to hear yet another family torn asunder by hard-hearted beliefs and actions. May your life be blessed from this moment forward. TheHighWay

If you find definate info on the Mocks, please email me!!! I was in-rez with Gelina and she was TREMENDOUS!!! It would be wonderful to hear they were out of twi. Thanks, THW

I gotta go with: Success = self-contentment without harming others Right now, I have siblings that would consider me less than a success. And I definately consider myself a work-in-progress. But still, if my life ended tomorrow, I would consider myself a success because I have reached a point of daily peace and contentment. That doesn't mean I can't do better. It doesn't mean I stop trying. It doesn't mean I don't have bad days. It means, I am not all stressed out by my station in life, as I once was. I'm not terribly concerned about what other people think of me, as I once was. I've made mistakes, but mostly I think I've corrected them with decent results. I have time and resources to give to myself, my family, my friends, and even strangers. And I do. That is success.

Brilliant post, Shaz. Dead on!! 1 - it was good in the beginning 2 - we believe in commitment 3 - we think if we try hard enough we can make it work 4 - we don't see that we are the ones doing all the trying and giving, while fonzi just takes and manipulates I agree that this woman has options, but have you ever tried to convince one of these gals they CAN leave when (for whatever reasons) they are convinced they CAN'T? It's like putting a druggy into rehab against their will, or trying to show the facts about twi to a kool-aide drinker. It just doesn't work. They can't see it. My sister is currently in a destructive marriage. He doesn't hurt her physically but he has destroyed her self-confidence and sense of self-worth as a person. People warned her before she married him. She didn't listen. People warned her as things got worse. She defended him. Currently she is miserable day in and day out. (At least she's admitted that much. It's a start.) He controls her every waking moment. Still, she won't consider leaving him. Basically, her sense of self-worth has now been tied to making this stupid marriage work. I think that's what all these guys do. It puts them in total control. And I feel completely helpless because she is not ready to take the steps necessary to walk away, now matter how much help I offer her. What does it take for any of us to realize we are up to our neck in sH!t and get the heck out? I was in a destructive marriage. I knew I was in a destructive marriage. And yet, for years, I was also unwilling to get out of it. For all the reasons listed above. Somehow, these women have to see outside themselves... something bigger, something more important. For me, it took seeing the impact on my kid. I could tolerate almost anything for myself, but when I saw it destroying my kid I said enough was enough. Does this woman have anything she feels more strongly protective about than herself? I'd focus your arguments for her leaving this dangerous and immature guy on those!! In my sister's case, her kids are all grown and gone. She has family and friends who would support her, but so far it isn't enough of a pull for her to do the hard work of leaving the guy: knowing you have to start again from nothing, deal with the embarrassment for having made such a bad decision, and trying to rebuild your trust of yourself and other people. That's HARD. It's SCARY. And sometimes its just easier to stay put.

Okay... how can they say they didn't have a NO DEBT policy, if they had a NO DEBT sing-along-the-way song??????? OMG!!! That one musta come down after I left.... geez. As far as Way Productions, SafariVista is right... "stiff as a board professional" was the rule of the day from the late 80s on!! Of course, this started at HQ and it took time to eventually spread out to the campus locations and then to the field. I performed repeatedly with a group at Emporia in the 80s, and it was a blast. I mean, they expected you to be professional and do your best, but some of the most moving moments I've ever experienced happened on the Kenyon stage. Then I performed in various groupings on the HQ auditorium stage and you had to worry about being PERFECT the whole time. Craig himself would watch rehearsals and critique (yell, spit, debase) everyone on stage. There was far more concern about getting everything RIGHT, than putting any heart and soul into the performance. -- ask any musician, you can get all the notes right and still put on a horrible performance because there is no fire, no emotion --- People that I knew in previous years, who were really great folks, later became stiff and plastic, on stage and off... clearly afraid to express anything unique or genuinely artistic for fear of being "confronted". By that time, lcm was demanding that way prod write songs based on his key doctrines and teachings. Anything else that was written was pretty much dismissed as being "egotistical" and "off". I know of some great spiritually moving music that was produced on the field, and the performers were completely trashed by the leadership because they did it on their own, without official twi sanction. Ted (choir director) was an okay guy, just no backbone... he got sucked into the whole corporate-twi mentality... I once asked him for a favor (music-wise) one friend to another, and received a terse letter in reply instructing me to make the request through the proper twi channels. Nick Maxson (the organ guy) appears to be a nice guy on the surface but has been a twi sellout as long as I've known him (1983)... trading genuine concern for people for pushing the corporate line. Kudos to his organ-playing... that's quite a skill... but to me he is a candy shell filled with twi crap. Jeffrey (the piano guy) was one of the nicest men I've ever met, in or out of twi. (I hope he hasn't changed!!) Just very kind and genuine: he and his wife and kids... good people!! It kills me that folks like him are still sucked in by twi. The Singing Ladies, Mike Martin, etc. -- mostly these folks are examples of people who had great heart and talent, who have been squashed and molded into little performing twi-bots. Boring music, boring performances, rude on and off stage because they are "busy, important people" don't you know... For anyone who hasn't seen way prod in awhile, doesn't www.thewayinternational.org have some of the performances streamed on their site?

Radar, exactly!! A "corporate" apology would mean nothing. REAL healing would only come from a personal, individual, genuine apology. I'm not holding my breath.

Wow... what a wonderful letter. Thank you for your courage and integrity to compose and send such a letter to the leadership of the way international. You make very logical and valid arguments (both factually and spiritually). No wonder Rosalie Rivenbark didn't respond to you. She cannot, and keep her throne as it is. She clearly loves her power and position more than she loves God or His people. Thanks, also, for posting the letter here as further proof to others of the loving and concerned confrontation that has repeatedly been given to TWI's leadership, and has repeatedly been ignored (or worse). (like John Richeson's letter) It guess it's nice of them that they didn't respond by immediately "mark and avoid"ing you, as they did in the past. But if that is the "big" indication of how much kinder and gentler twi has become these days, I'll pass, thanks. Now your future can be whatever you want it to be: no longer dictated by the unbiblical rules and regulations of twi. Congratulations! Enjoy the freedom you were meant to have.

Hopefull, I'm so sorry for what you have been through. Please know many of us here think you are terrific, and are glad you are part of Greasespot!! To a certain degree, I understand what you are going through... I left twi, my husband, and my job all within a single year. Granted, these things were not so much taken from me, as given up by me (although it was no less sudden or scary). The bottom line is, I suddenly had very few friends or social activities. I felt so very lost and alone. And I have had an amazingly hard time re-establishing these things in my life. I live in a town with a different church on every corner, and I have considered many, many times trying to join one. But I know that I am not interested in the very thing that draws these people together (the doctrine) so I won't go. I tried joining the community choir and dancing clubs, but found that people in these groups stay close to those they arrive with. But, I have recently started to seek out social clubs that "force" people to interact... scrapbooking groups, bunco clubs (dice game), card clubs, etc. If you share resources, move seats, play against several opponents, etc. then you have more of a chance to actually talk and build friendships. So far, I haven't found the "best buddy" I'm looking for, but I've gotten out of the house and had a lot of fun, too. I don't know if these ideas will help, but just know I'm thinking about you!

I second Belle's suggested list for future interviews!!!

Thanks Jung and Freud for stopping by... and thanks for this post. So often, people fade off the boards and we never know why. Closure is good, even in the little things.

I was at Emporia when VP died. They had a special meeting in the room above the cafeteria to inform us. They cancelled classes for a few days. We had a memorial service. I was in a group that sang at the service. "Surreal" definately desribes my experience. Most of us had absolutely no idea he was even sick (although I later heard from a friend who was WOW and she said they had been told he was ill and to pray for him). At the time, that kind of secrecy lent credibility and an aura of "man of god" to the whole thing... stupid me. I've never heard the of details of what happened at HQ at the time, but didn't Craig talk about everything they did in his 17th corps rant (aka 1st class-thingie where he went off about Chris Geer being possessed)? If I rememer right, Vic dictated everything he wanted... where to be buried, when, how, who speaking, singing, etc.

Dorky Dippinbiscuits, reporting for duty!!

Dear Sigmund, Your posts ring true to me. I know for a fact Craig worked at Bally's in Toledo as a personal trainer. I went there and saw for myself. It was within a year of his being tossed from his throne at twi. At that point, his personal bio (which all the personal trainers wrote and printed themselves) was a perfect picture of the Craig I knew while living and working around him at Emporia and HQ... while the other bios were printed on plain white paper and spoke in terms of "I did it, I can help you do it, too", his was completely highlighted in yellow, filled with corny jokes, and clearly the writings of someone with a hefty ego. (there is an old thread here somewhere where someone actually got a picture of the top half of his bio) I do not doubt you have recently encountered a man who seemed "broken" and "lost". He had it all. He lost it all. That's gotta hurt, whether you were the biggest scumbag on the face of the earth or not; whether you did it to yourself or not. But is it true remorse? I seriously doubt it. I believe that people CAN and DO change, but I believe they must first come to a true self-realization. It's easy to say something bad happened, and blame others. It's much harder to admit what part you played, even if it was just that you were manipulated by a manipulator. To really conquor our past, and move on, I think we must ask ourselves, "why did I join this group? what was I hoping for? why didn't I see/heed the warning signs? why did I stay as long as I did?" --- if the shoe fits, people, if the shoe fits --- You have to admit to yourself that you made mistakes; even if those mistakes were out of innocence, naivete and good will. -- Let's face it, some of us simply made the mistake of trusting the wrong people. The man you describe sounds to me like someone who is still wallowing in the "why me?" stage of hurt, not someone who is facing the hard truth about himself. But, your posts have made me think a little deeper about Craig's situation than I ever cared to before: 1) Freud says he got the sense that Craig was "underemployed". As stated by another poster, a good job at UPS (or wherever he is now working) is not a bad job for the average Joe. But if Craig still has a sense that he "should be" SOMEBODY, then he will definately feel that he is underemployed. And, if he dares to think about what his life would have been like without twi, I'm sure he knows that with a college degree under his belt he probably could have at least risen to middle-management in some company and be making more than he is now. 2) What about Donna... what the heck kind of wife stays in her comfy home, with her comfy job and her comfy friends, forsaking the man she is still married to? Make a real choice, woman... either you love the guy and care about him (ie- go BE with him and help him through this) OR you don't care a whit about him, only about propping up your own image (ie-divorce the guy, already!!!) --- Freud refers to her as Craig's "ex-wife"... Freud, did Craig refer to her that way, or is that your assumption... I thought they were still married, just living separately? --- if they are still married, that's gotta be playing with his brain! 3) If twi is still supporting him in some capacity, as has been speculated here (with some supporting evidence: the big-wig twi doctor and the deed to the house; his visits to Gunnison), then how can he truly dismiss everything he was taught to be and do? In his own mind, if he had truly done wrong wouldn't they sever all ties? And what is the current leadership telling him to justify their two-facedness... we really do support you, Craig, but our lawyers won't let you be king anymore? You really messed up, Craig, but since you were once God's man we cannot raise the back of our hand to you? How can he make a clean break, if they don't let go of him? At any rate... I would go with the words of Ronald Reagan: trust, but verify. I am one of those that was "outed" by the WayGB because I posted on a forum. My local leadership confronted me with copies of my posts. They threw me out of their ministry, I lost a job over it, and it was the final straw which broke up my marriage. If you have more encounters with L. Craig Martindale, and you feel you can help him face up to his past and find genuine healing, go for it. But at all times protect yourself and your family, and watch your back. You don't really know what's going on with this guy...

(I've moved this comment to the newer thread on this topic)

Sprawled Out, I would agree with you that this place is insular and biased in some respects. But on the other hand, that's what many people need when they are first leaving twi. I'm not saying they need the rest of us to do their thinking for them, but those of us that have gone before tend to make good sounding boards for the newly-free. It's like an AA meeting... it is a safe haven to expose your crap as you figure it out. Good and bad. And no one can accuse us of all thinking the same here at the Cafe!

I didn't feel ambushed in the foundational class ONLY because of friend of mine took it before me, and I knew what was going to happen. Besides, I had belonged to a youth group at my church that actually "dabbled" with SIT years previous. So, even though my class was one of those that started with five and dwindled down to me, all alone, when session 12 came I stood right up and SIT with the grads, no problem. They were SO excited, almost jumping up and down and patting themselves on the back for how confidently I had manifested. Then one of them asked me if I had been nervous. I said, "Oh no, I've spoken in tongues for years now." You should have seen them deflate. I really felt bad that I had told them. However, when I signed up for the intermediate class the following summer, no one bothered to tell me we were going to have to INTERPRET and PROPHECY!!!!!! I found out in the car on the way to session one. I held it together (barely). I didn't want anyone to know I was completely freaking out inside. I did manage to manifest but I don't know how, since I was shaking and my throat was squeezed so tight I could hardly swallow. And then, the next day at one of the excellor sessions, the @#$!#$! branch leader called on me to SIT/Interp three times in a row. Here I was, this newbie, already feeling pressured, and he goes and does that. To this day, I have no idea why he did it, but it really upset me, and I could tell it made everyone else in our group uncomfortable as well. People started messing up after that. Somehow I felt responsible, even though I wasn't the one in charge, and I hadn't messed up any of the times he had called on me. Jerk.

I've posted this before, but this thread about "decompression" might be a good place to repeat it. The day after I was booted (M&A) from twi, I was leaving my house and I walked out into the neighborhood street where my car was parked, and I stopped dead in my tracks... I looked down the road, and followed the trees upward with my eyes, and saw the sky, and I actually felt the lid coming off the box that I had been living in... it was like the world itself went through the physical transformation of becoming bigger, and I felt that change go right through me! I hadn't even been thinking about the ministry, or having been booted, when it happened. I was just running out to get groceries or something and BOOM. I know that sounds strange, but the only way I can explain it is that it was such an instantaneous emotional awakening to that fact that my world had been so small for so many years, and that I was no longer confined to that box, that I felt it physically. I will never forget that sensation.

I'll just "ditto" what Belle said... My story and hers are extremely similar, and I went through almost identical stages of change, including my work situation being an open door for new ideas and self-esteem. I'd say my genuine questioning started about half-way through my corps training and grew at a very slow rate over the next 5 years. The amount of doubting/questioning started increasing over the next 5 years (the late 1990s). The "snap" came with the Allen lawsuit, and finding WayDale. Thank you, Paul! My son once asked me why his father (die-hard twi-let) would get so angry about some subjects. And I told him that if there was a paved road going through life, his dad saw the road divided right down the middle with solid white on one side, and solid black on the other, with a fence dividing them. In his mind, you were either on the white (right) side of a subject or on the black (wrong) side. You could not really straddle the middle because there was a clear separation (the fence). And once you knew what was on the white and what was on the black, there was no point in even discussing an issue. It was settled. I told my son that this perspective is what makes his dad feel in control of his own life, and comfortable with the world around him. And that if he understood that about his dad, he could get along better when these subjects came up. I went on to tell him that while I once looked at things that way, I now see a road with a thin strip of white on one edge of the road, and a thin strip of black on the other edge, with the whole rest of the road appearing gray; no fences in between. I told him that some things were absolutely wrong, no matter what. And some things were absolutely right, no matter what. But that most things in life needed to be judged by the individual circumstances. Therefore what is right in one situation may be totally wrong in another. It's not that there is no right or wrong, but that when you put all the individual blacks and whites (of all those individual decisions) together, it appears from a distance to be gray, which makes it easy for short-sighted people to say that the gray area is a sea of indecision and "anything goes" lawlessness. I told him that in my opinion it takes more effort to live in the "gray" world, because you have to look closely at each situation, think about all the issues, and make a decision for each and every thing. The solid black/white view is easier because you make one decision for one issue across the board and you are done. And if there are negative consequences, it's not your responsibility because you were on the white side. You did the "right" thing. Period. To paraphrase Albus Dumbledoor: The time has come when we must all choose between what is right, and what is easy.

Thanks for the update djs... I wouldn't have been so shocked if I had realized they were now "just" branch coordinators. I thought they were still at a root locale... guess time flies by when you are actually enjoying your life, lol. When did they get assigned to Dayton? Who's running Gunnison?

I had a ministry wedding. It wasn't too bad, but that was the early 80s so things weren't so harsh yet. There was that pesky two-week, no-wedding window before and after the ROA. Twi didn't want any conflicts for their clergy, and that is understandable. I wanted to wait a few months but the fiance insisted we get married as soon after ROA as possible. But, this was back in the days of actual relocations for corps, so we had a few people who got last-minute assigment changes at the Rock, and they were trying to plan and move, and other friends were in college and they were trying to get back to school, and of course the fiance and I were from two different states and had to fly in lots of relatives. Yikes, what a scheduling nightmare. That, and the believer-made wedding cake that had yellow and blue icing on it, even though I had told them my colors were burgundy and pink... ???? I never did an answer about how that happened. lol. No, it was actually a very nice event. None of my family was treated badly, and my dad (a sarcastic anti-religious guy) actually hit it off with our twi minister. I was amazed. But I was on the edges of a few 90s engagements and weddings. Harsh, legalistic, hurtful, lifeless affairs.

Yeah, but remember their reasoning for the standing: it shows respect for the WORD of GOD that the teacher is going to present. Uuuuummmmm.... yeah. (maybe that argument would have been more convincing if the teacher's head didn't visibly swell every time we stood for him, and if he actually taught the WORD instead of a rehashed hashing of Martindale's retelling of Vic's interpretation of what some other Biblical scholar once taught in the 1950s.)