TheHighWay

BikerBabe, thanks for your insight and explanation. I guess I never thought about it like that. People do back away when they are in an uncomfortable situation and don't know how to handle it. I guess that is human nature. I'm glad you have folks here you can confide in... I guess most of us here understand being isolated in a crowd and the need to vent sometimes! I'm glad you are doing better. I hope Freeatlast can find some relief as well.

My thoughts exactly, coolchef... I hope Free suddenly finds herself surrounded by such good people as I have had the priviledge to call "friend" and "neighbor"!!

Free... if your friends are judging you in their own heads, shame on them, but to go even farther and SAY something to someone else about it... sorry, but TIME FOR NEW FRIENDS!!! Seriously, I would rather be peaceful all by myself than surrounded by back-biting, unhelpful acquaintances. Do they even know what's going on with you? Geez, what's wrong with those folks? Even if they don't know what's going on with you, shouldn't their response be to ask if everything is alright rather than jump to judgement? You deserve far better than that!! By the way... my kid (15yrs) has no concept of putting things away... he'll do it if I point to something and say "put that away" but otherwise, whatever it is (dirty sock, clean sock, food wrapper, empty soda can, dirty dish, cd, ipod charger, old school papers, photographs, dorito crumbs...) could sit there for a month (oh, who am I kidding, it could sit there forever) and it wouldn't bother him in the slightest. I know this is just a phase (granted, a really long phase that will last until his mid-twenties) so rather than freaking out about the state of his room, my rule is that it is not allowed to spill over to the rest of the house, and when I tell him to bring me his dishes, empty his trash, gather his dirty clothes, or vacuum, he either does it without procrastination and a lot of attitude or he starts losing privileges, starting with his allowance. So far, that has worked pretty well.

If you think being 5 minutes early means you are late. If you go jogging, and calculate how many aerobic points it will be worth. If you feel the urge to have a driving buddy and a caravan on every road trip. If you make a point of clarifying the difference between Jew and Judean.

Sorry, I'm not getting your meaning here... no ______ requirements? ---------Financial? Class-level? Way-involvement? Wouldn't it just be a hoot if they had no twi-involvement requirements!? Weenie Roast, anyone?

Free, I agree, keep your negative ex and his hurtful comments OUTSIDE of YOUR environment. Just because he has rights to the kids doesn't mean he has rights to come inside your house!! I also understand your frustration about going from being a neat freak to a "not-so-neat-freak". I was positively obsessive about my house, and still cannot concentrate if there is too much mess around me. But, as I've taken on more things (house ownership, yardwork, school, multiple jobs) and as my health has taken a slight turn (cannot seem to keep my iron levels up so I'm always tired) I find I have neither the time, the strength, nor the will to worry about it. Yes, I have been positively embarrassed to have someone "pop" by and see the state of my home a few times. But I know I'm doing the best that I can. My home is not filthy, and it isn't unhealthy, but it is usually cluttery and certainly not spotless!! (I have a teenager and pets in the house, so sue me) So, here's the place I've gotten to in my mind to deal with it... anyone who comes into my home, knowing what is going on in my life right now, and thinks, "boy, she's a lousy housekeeper" just doesn't get what the really important things in life are all about. My kid is not judging me. My friends are not judging me. So why should I be judging me so hard? I kinda think God understands, you know? THW

Holy crap, Chaz... that's one of the funniest things I've ever seen!!!

Mr. Pipes, I think the world of your Mrs. and I've enjoyed my communications with her. But frankly, when you speak of Middle School games and then go all cryptic in your posts, well, I find I don't have a lot of patience. Either plainly say who did what, and who accused who, and what the heck all this muckety-muck is about, or say nothing. All Mrs.B's original post here did was stir the controversy. I'm terribly sorry if you and she got caught in the middle of some idiot's games, I truly am!!!! Unfortunately you would not be the first, and even worse, probably not the last. I would hope you could both rise above the petty stuff and keep posting... you both have things to contribute that others should hear. We don't want to see you go because someone else is being stupid.

Well, honey, if you aren't going to respond or even read our replies, what the heck is the point? Sorry, but you've only made yourself look bad here... not Paw.

If you think stringing chairs increases your spirituality. If you think the rod of correction mentioned in the old testament is a wooden kitchen spoon. If you look forward to spending your only vacation time camping with thousands of other people, stand in line for an hour to take a shower, and work for free, in a location where you KNOW you will sweat until you stink every day, and get rained out at least once before it is time to leave. If you think renting makes more financial sense than buying a house. If you think you should check every major decision you make with your leadership. If you decorate your house with pictures of leadership, but not your own family. If you choose not to attend a class reunion because of the hundreds of people who might attend once belonged to the way, and you might have to talk to them. If you cannot drive to headquarters for a SNS by yourself.

You, my friend, have started the next best thread to "The"... the most brilliantist bestest mistake ever made online.

Ditto to the above posts... I've really enjoyed reading what you have written. Thanks for giving us ways to keep in touch. Hope the drama in your real life decreases, too. THW

Coco, my servant, is DEAD ! Sorry, Out There, someone beat you to it: 1.BMP

Reading through the strange and wonderful "Mrs. Wierwille's Poodle" topic made me realize something... WHY greasespot cafe is important . Why do we ex-twiers need to be here, dredging up and discussing every little bit of twi-stuff in our memories? Why must we discuss what others might think are silly bits of fluff from way too long ago to care about? Why can't we just stick to really important subjects or better still, just let it all go? BECAUSE... all each of us has is a piece or two of the puzzle. You can't see the real picture if you only have a couple of pieces: A reproof session you sat through at HQ. A strange altercation between two leaders. A mandate that came through your area... by themselves they have SOME meaning, but it also leaves a whole lot of questions! So, you post your questions here, and you start getting related stories, from folks who lived at a root locale or across the country from you, or in a foreign nation, and the gaps in the whole picture start to get filled in... OHHHH, that reproof session at HQ happened because of a certain incident at a certain limb, and because of that reproof session at HQ, a letter went out to all the believers on the field, and all the leadership was told to crack down... Now the whole process becomes clear. You can clearly see the begining, middle, and end of a situation and it paints a pretty clear picture of how twi functioned, and how the leadership behaved. Voila!!! Understanding!! Resolution!! And EVERY piece of the puzzle, no matter how insignificant it may seem as an individual piece, is important in light of the big picture. Greasespot is just a big, flat dining room table where each of us brings our few pieces of the puzzle. Together we sit and lay our pieces out, and match the colors and patterns and edges, and before you know it, the big picture takes shape before our very eyes. And understanding takes place, and healing happens. Welcome to the table, everyone!!!

Watered Garden, Can you give us a time frame? When did you see the dog? When did vp say he hated it? Thanks! THW

Why is something that might have happened 25 years ago important to resolve today? Because every question answered, every thought laid to rest, every issue resolved, is one more piece we can never think about again. As long as it is still a question, hanging there... well, it is going to keep popping up in our minds asking for an answer. -------------------- I got involved in twi in 1982. I never once saw Mrs. with a dog of any kind, nor heard her speak of having a dog. But I've also learned of many things said and done before my time, so it is quite possible she did have a dog. I do know that the security guys routinely shot (with a gun, as in dead, killed) the barn cats when there were too many because they were feral and too hard to round up and wouldn't make a good pet even if they did.

I remember them getting rid of children's fellowship "ex cathedra" from lcm, but I really can't remember all his reasons. Anyone remember if it coincided with his getting angry at the guys who coordinated most of the teen activities? Craig got VERY jealous over how much the teens loved these guys and how it took away from his own glory, so he came up with some lame excuse for axing teen summer school and the teen stage at the Rock. He also blamed the guys in charge. (so typical of him) But yeah, the poor little tykes then had to sit through all the adult meetings. Not only regular fellowship, which in our area they kept to under an hour, but it was 2-3 times a week. But the worst was the SNS phone hookup... it was boring as crazy for the adults, how did they expect toddlers to stay engaged??? (Idiots.) No question the kids don't get much out of an adult meeting. Mine says his dad is always shocked at his lack of biblical knowledge. Just can't understand why his kid doesn't know basic biblical principles after attending fellowships his whole life. Hah!

Boy, that says it all, doesn't it? It took me a couple of years to really get that message into my kid's head post-twi.

Oh DEFINITELY "Father and Child"... absolutely loved that song.

I'm ashamed to say that I was one of those twi parents who was told how to raise her kid. And I'm even more ashamed to say that I actually tried to obey them. For a few years. But it broke my heart. And it didn't work. Abigail said, “wooden spoons everywhere”. Yes, that pretty much describes it. I was expected to have one in my pocket or in my purse at ALL times. I was even expected to provide a wooden spoon at each adult’s table setting at dinner time, so they couldn’t reach across the table and “tap” my kid. Now, generally speaking, my kid didn’t get hit hard with the spoon, but it was just this aura of CONSTANT correction. Every stinking little stupid childly thing the kid did got a tap or nudge with the stupid spoon. I remember thinking, “who the heck could possibly live up to these standards, even an adult? Let alone some little kid who was like, 5 or 6 years old !!!” So, I began holding back. But still, I questioned myself. Who was I to disobey the teachings of the MOG? What if I was wrong and ruining my child for life? I honestly agonized over this stuff. The Word says use the rod... but the rod doesn't work with my kid. All he needs is a word of comfort, a word of explanation, a word of encouragement, and he'd be good as gold. But then, I'm disobeying God... I didn't consciously come up with a plan, but the result of my inner conflict was that I did just enough for show to keep everyone convinced I was really trying to raise my kid their way, but privately and as much as possible, I dealt with him in my own way. And I definitely got in trouble over it. With my husband. With leadership... It got to the point where I dreaded going to fellowship because there was no doubt in my mind the TC would find something my kid was doing wrong, that was unlearned or disrespectful or openly disobedient (which of course got brought back to my bad parenting skills). -- now, we are talking things like falling asleep in fellowship because it ran past his bedtime, or snuggling close to mommy when he should have been paying attention to the TC, or that he didn't look the TC in the eye when he talked to him, or he didn't sing loudly enough and didn't know the words to all the songs -- Oh My God!!!! What I'm trying to say is that I was still scared of them. Scared of doing it wrong. So I did enough to appease them when I should have told them to go to he!!. And even though I moderated his treatment, my son was still raised in the middle of all that stress and high demand crap. His father loaded it on him. Expected him to never spill things at the age of six! Expected him to obey every command without questioning, at a time for a kid that is all about questions. And he wondered why his kid didn't greet him joyfully but either ignored him or reacted in fear. (well, duh) I remember my son getting yelled at because the toilet at the bc’s house overflowed when he flushed it… I was told I should have been in there with him (HUH??? He had been going to the bathroom by himself for a YEAR) and that he didn’t handle the situation right (he immediately ran and got the wife who lived there). That was just one of many, many, many incidents . I began making up ANY excuse to stay home and keep the kid with me!! Sometimes the spouse let us stay home, but mostly he didn't. When my kid finally got old enough that I could literally see the pressure building up in him, and knew it was going to ruin his life, that was the final kick in the rear to send me packing... left twi, left the marriage. Gave my kid a new start in a lot of ways. And the results were an almost immediate "decompression" back into a normal kid again. Thank goodness I got out long before my kid was a rebellious teenager! I know of people being counseled to send their kids away rather than let them reflect badly on the household!! (yet the leadership's kid, who was the snarliest, rudest bully of a kid never ever got called on the carpet for his bad acts... of course not!) edited for typos

Not to derail, but Chas, I GOTTA hear that story!!! I can remember sitting through plenty of lcm's dinnertime rants but frankly, they have all blurred together. None more distinguishable than any other. Staff rant #1, don't work hard enough: check. Staff rant #2, aren't spiritual enough, check. Field Corps rant #1, too distracted by the world, check. Field Corps rant #2, have their heads spiritually up their rear ends (see rant #1), check. In-Rez Corps rant #1, don't know our retemories, check. In-Rez Corps rant #2, on time means corps time, check. Paranoia rant #1, believers communicating with copouts, check. Paranoia rant #2, spiritual weakness providing open door for devil spirit attacks against the ministry (and Craig personally), see rant #1, check. Paranoia rant #3, devil spirits afraid of men who wear guns, check. Instructions: pick your favorite rant, pick something out the window or on the birthday board to stare at until you want to scream (or yawn) then change focus... window... board... head table... window... board... head table... OR, simply stare solemnly down at the table in front of you to make those around you think you are taking everything in and pondering it in a very serious manner. That was how I handled most of the dinnertime rants. I can tell you that being a server at the head table was no fun, either... You had to try to coerce folks from the crowd to sit up there when there were empty chairs, and most didn't want to... then, you had to know all the likes and dislikes of the royalty, and god help you if you got it wrong! And you had to know who was going to arrive at which door and when so you could open it for them just as they arrived. (wouldn't want them to wait, or better yet use the public door like everyone else). Nevermind that you were supposed to be getting the food and drinks ready. And if Craig went on a rant and food started getting cold, somehow it was our fault for not timing things right. And of course, we were charged with setting the spiritual environment of the head table... who knows how we could help bless the mog if we greeted him graciously enough? I was always in condemnation over that stupid job... it completely stressed me out trying so hard not to blow it every day, but I knew I was supposed to be extra-blessed for being around the leadership. Good grief, Charlie Brown. The funniest part to me, though, was that all the dishes and silverware at HQ went through a heavy-duty steam-clean scald as they were cleaned. Killed all the germs, dontcha know. But it also left spots. So at the head table, we took a slightly dampened rag and polished everything. Granted we did it with freshly-washed hands and freshly-washed cloths, but I still felt like we were dirtying up the head table dinnerware, lol.

And may I say your doffed hat is accepted and appreciated!!

I had no idea of the Cultural Center in New Bremen... of course, I was pretty much a newbie at that point. There is just no end to the information you get here at the cafe!

That's the place!! Thanks for the website.

According to some old Way History documents I have the Fine Arts and Historical Center was purchased in 1974 and was located in Sydney, Ohio. I remember taking a tour of that building. It belonged to some rich old guy who had it built for his family with all the best materials money could buy at the time. Lots of things that you can't get much anymore like curly/tiger maple, and things imported from Europe. I remember Doc Vic saying he was so impressed that a man wanted his family, the place where they lived and played and grew up, surrounded by the very best, and that's why Vic wanted to buy the place. At the time (1987) it was being used for weddings and other big social events within the ministry. I don't remember what year it was sold but I believe it was around the same time they dumped the airplane and other large items.