Raf

TEN PUNS 1. A vulture boarded a plane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess stops him and says sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger. 2. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world. 3. Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much--and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils. 4. Two Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 5. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar and announces I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. 6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist, and refused to take Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication. 7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour, and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. 8. A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and is named Ahmal. The other is sent to a Spanish family and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, They're identical twins for Pete sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've see Ahmal!! 9. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. The florist went to them and begged that they shut down. Again they refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, destroyed their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close, he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. 10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. And finally... there was a person who sent 10 puns to some friends in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.

If you can't name another movie that man was in, I'm going to slap you senseless. WordWolf? Come on, man, surely YOU know. I mean, it's not like he's a master of disguises who can blend into any country in the world, speak a dozen languages, or simply disappear... With any luck, you've got the next three links already...

What's our vector, Victor?

Oh fer Pete's sake:

baaaaaaaah baaaaaaaaaaaah baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh daahdaaaaaaaaaaaah (boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom)... 2001 A Space Monotony

Does it end here?

Or maybe we just came to a sane conclusion once we DID do that.

Double Indemnity is a classic. Great film.

Actually, the phrase I remember coming up over and over again was, "Now I know this doesn't agree with what I've taught on this subject before..." One other area of disagreement is whether was acting in error when he tried to sacrifice Isaac. Geer does not think Abraham misunderstood God at all, whereas Wierwille thought Abraham misunderstood the command. I'm not sure either way.

I've stopped contributing to CES and no longer request/receive their tapes. I haven't really listened to a tape in well over a year, so I decided to stop pretending I was really a supporter just because I dropped a dime in the coffee can every now and then. Just being honest.

Ah, Moony beat me to the coffee. Let me know if you need a refill.

This doesn't quite seem appropriate for politics or for the gallery/reading room, but I'm okay with being overruled on that. I saw "Inside Man," this weekend, and before it started there was a trailer for a film called "United 93." It's about the fourth plane hijacked on Sept. 11. I, for one, will be among the first in line to see the film, although I must admit, it's the first time I ever cried at a trailer. Maybe it won't be as "good" as the two minute clip suggests, but I'm expecting something really, really powerful here. What do you think? Is it too soon for a dramatic movie about Sept. 11? (Yes, I know there was a TV version already made. Sorry I missed it. But somehow, it's not the same as the big screen).

Wha? Huh? Shouldn't we Floridians be hibernating this time of year?

These are really funny: http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml (Example: I'm not fat: I'm pregnant with ice cream's baby). Warning: some of these are REAL offensive. You've been warned. No complaints allowed.

Traxx

Hawk's Crest. White or red, It's never let me down.

Lots of birthdays reported today (I'm assuming the birthdays are real, and not just because it's April Fool's Day). Rhino, HCW, Flay Minion... There are others, but, Happy Birthday All!

If a song's been covered by another band, then either artist is acceptable for the game. For example, "I Feel For You" would be acceptable from Chaka Kahn or from Prince; "I Think We're Alone Now" would be acceptable from Tommy James or from Tiffany. However, if the remake has a changed lyric and the changed lyric is part of the clue, then only the remake counts. "He was just 17, you know what I mean" would have to be "I Saw Him Standing There," by Tiffany, not "I Saw Her Standing There" by the Quarrymen. Why I remember all those old Tiffany songs, I have no idea. Anyway, THE has spoken.

As a society, we pay for the things we encourage. If we're asking stay-at-home moms to repay their education costs, we're saying we don't value educated stay-at-home moms. We prefer them with basic high school diplomas, at most, and when the kids have more complicated questions, our answer is, "ask dad when he gets home." I have no problem with kids asking dad. I have no problems with kids asking mom. I voted no.

It's more than a third, Allan. See you there!

I'm not sure Dooj got it. I am sure Topoftheworld got it. Dooj, you be the judge. I say, give it to topsy.

This is bad, but I wasn't expecting to chime in...

Yes. At least, I think it is.

And whatever happened to the middleman?