Raf

I've had West Side Story on the brain recently, as you could tell. I'm PRETTY sure Romeo and Juliet played out over more than 24 hours. Could be wrong, though.

Boy meets girl, kills her brother, has sex with her and dies for her within a period of roughly 24 hours.

Yeah, the challenge is, most of the decent lines in this one are giveaways. That last one should at least clue you in to the genre. "You read way too much Twilight." "That's fiction, okay. This is real. He's a real monster and he's not brooding, or lovesick, or noble. He's the f------ shark from Jaws. He kills, he feeds, and he doesn't stop until everybody around him is dead. And I seriously am so angry you think I read Twilight."

Hook Dustin Hoffman All the President's Men

"My name is Darth Vader. I am an extra-terrestrial being from the planet Vulcan!"

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I hear crickets. Okay, next clue: "I don't need an invitation if there's no house."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. That doesn't narrow it down. That's like, mini-golf and sushi."

George, are you thinking of The Night Stalker?

By the way, you got the right show (Woody Woodpecker) but the wrong specific cartoon. "If Woody had gone straight to the police..." was a different short. But yes, it was Woody Woodpecker. Aside from his laugh, Woody did not speak in the Dragnet spoof episode (featuring THE BAT!) And of course, for some reason, no one mentioned Dark Shadows.

Giovanni Ribisi That Thing You Do! Steve Zahn

The Addams Family Next: "The story you are about to see is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." Bonus: "The story you are about to see is a BIG FAT LIE! No names have been changed to protect ANYBODY!"

13 Going on 30

No one wants a fella with a social disease. Actually, in hindsight, I believe the repeated word is "trouble," not "problem." My bad. "The trouble is he's lazy." "The trouble is he drinks." "The trouble is he's crazy." "The trouble is he stinks!" "The trouble is he's growing." "The trouble is he's grown!"

You said "new show," so I thought you were posting a mashup. My error. I do not recognize the line either.

"The problem is he's lazy." "The problem is he drinks." "The problem is he's crazy." "The problem is he stinks!" "The problem is he's growing." "The problem is he's grown!"

Kate and Leopold

Wrong game

And you would be correct.

24 We were introduced at a wedding, kids. Let me tell you the whole story. Um, sit down. It's gonna take a while.

Annie A kiss can be even deadlier, if you mean it.

Clarification on the "ex-husband" comment. My marriage is thriving. We have two beautiful boys and we're dedicated to each other. My wife is my life (and a major reason I no longer have the time to post here as much as I once did). I was married and divorced before I ever connected with Waydale or Greasespot Cafe. Thanks to everyone for the kind words, and I'm glad all that stuff helped break people free. But as long as I was writing them, I was still bound, in a lot of ways. Now I admit it and am free from it. Isn't it? I thought I told the story many times: took the class in 88 and was out in 89, but spent the next six years as a devoted member of an offshoot, so it's not like I left entirely. Now, the fact that Wierwille taught something makes me kind of giggle a little, but I put no stock in it.

Batman Forever "Stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you!"

heh heh heh

Yes.