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A LC publically sharing about how watching a soap opera (Y&R) brought him closer to his wife and understanding her better. (She was a bitchy drama queen- maybe it did explain her!)

I really think it did. It was the first time in my life I felt accepted. I had gone to different churches over the years, but even as a young child I was able to realize when something (religion, church-wise) was not for me. When I was about 17, I was witnessed to by a couple who taught me an eastern prayer that was supposed help me get whatever I wanted. At first I was excited about it, as if it would be a magical cure for my life. I agreed to go to a meeting with them the next day. I went home that night and practiced the prayer I'd memorized. It was in a language I didn't know. The more I recited it the heavier my heart became. I kept looking at my bible sitting on my desk and I didn't want to do the prayer anymore. I did want a magical cure to my life, I did want things. But it hit me how selfish the prayer seemed, even though I didn't know what I was saying. But the motive was all wrong and I felt like I was betraying God. So when they called me the next day to arrange to pick me up, I told them I'd changed my mind. They both tried talking to me, but it ended with me saying "I agree I may not know what is right,but I do know this is wrong." I didn't let them pressure me, tempt me or guilt me into going to the meeting. I went from being the kind of person who believed in my freedom to choose my beliefs-to devoting too many years of my life to the craziness of twi. Even when I knew it it was destroying me. twi had given me acceptance after being treated like an outsider. twi had won my loyalty so I stood by them even though it screamed insanity to do so. The wowzies that witnessed to me were young and fun. I couldn't wait to be around them. They gave me the friendship and validation I desperately wanted. Besides being horribly bullied, my home life wasn't so great. I did have a family that loved me and I try to remember the good things when I think about it. But my parents had a lot of problems. They didn't pay attention to me and were not very encouraging. They didn't even open my report cards, did not care or notice if I was ditching school. I think they were releved I immediately went wowzie, because it gave me somewhere to go and something to do that would not require any effort on their part. Again, they did love me but they were too involved in their own problems. So yes, I do think a lifetime of being bullied and abused along with the problems at home had a huge effect on my involvment with twi. I also think if twi hadn't come along I would have grown up as people do and figured things out. Because after twi, I did. twi caused a huge detour on my way to self discovery and healing. OK- Long enough post!

You'd have to have OCD to think stringing chairs mattered. Glad you figured a reasonable solution.

Java Jane, It's understandable to me, I went along with the same crap they fed me. I look back on people I was unkind to, truly thinking I was being bold spiritually- thus helping them. Yikes. I cringe now when I think of it. I was loyal to the wrong people. I let go of some people that would have been true friends. I hope you don't mind me asking but, is your relationship with your parents restored? What you previously shared about your brother stayed with me. I still think about him and pray for him.

I don't remember really. But now that you say it, I am reminded of my Mother. She would always tell me "Oh they are just jealous of you". Those words didn't help and certainly didn't bring any comfort. Yeah right. Everyone was jealous of the girl who was beat up, tortured and verbally abused. Who wouldn't wish to be that? LOL. I guess she didn't know what to do. But like you, it did make a big difference the twi people were nice to me. At first.

Thanks for sharing that. Going from being the designated peace maker in my family growing up to immediately joining twi- I totally understand what this means. Standing up for myself has been a learning process, but I really do feel stronger the more I do it. And free.

Makes total sense to me. I was deeply insecure too. I was one of those kids who was unmercifully bullied and abused from grade school all the way through high school. I was lonely and desperate for love, friendship and acceptance. I felt safe with them because they were Christian. Too young and damaged to even have a clue about my core self, so I too bought into their definition of who I should be. It never really fit.

Hi Watered Garden, Nice to hear your point of view. I've missed your posts, have you been gone or did I just not see them? :)

I feel sick. Is that guy OK now? I hope so. I heard the loyster was bitter about how he was treated. I wonder if those who still defend him know about this stuff.

No. But ironically about a week or two before 9/11, there was a live SNS teaching from HQ. The guy teaching used the World Trade Center as an example of having a strong foundation because the 1993 attack didn't completely destroy the buildings.

LOL. Did you send them an official letter? When someone we were sponsoring in the corpsey was dropped, we would get a letter about their spiritual weaknesses. Talk about slander. They sent out slanderous tapes and letters about people. They could dish it out but they couldn't take it. If they had to endure one tenth of what they put other people through they'd all be curled up in a permanent fetal position.

I hope your child is better now.

Getting reamed for not believing to have good weather was really stupid. They need to watch Bruce Almighty to see what happened when he moved the moon.

If I revealed what he ranted about, people would scratch their heads. It was ridiculous. But sadly it changed the life of somebody else forever, and not in a good way. At the time, I wasn't strong enough to stop it. BTW- I was never M & A. But the lunch time rant tape about me that was circulated to the other root locales and feild leadership had a profoundly negative effect on my life for a long time.

They used to tape them in case Loyster got revelation. Sometimes if he ranted on for a couple hours he would end up by patting himself on the back then say he wanted a tape sent to the other "campuses". Sometimes it would be sent to leaders or all corpsey on the feild. I know this because I was once the subject of one of these famous lunch time rants. It was well over an hour and sent to all the "root" locations and leaders on the "feild".

I once skipped lunch and took a nap. Nobody caught me. It was awesome. LOL.

I thought I was part of something important and Godly. But now I know I was only watching inept leaders throwing temper tantrums to avoid doing any real work. We should have called all of them a Waaaaahmbulance. Big immature egotistical self serving cry babies who did not serve God or God's people. Only served themselves.

They would be hard pressed to rant and rave about the lack of good stewardship or slothfulness in the lives of others if this ever got out. Everyone else is always wrong or possesed..... Yep. Can't admit a twileader had a wreck because it would make yelling and screaming at someone for accidently crossing in front of a stage seem stupid.

No Wierwilles around and it has gone splat. Bet they don't say that now......... Oh yeah, the revelation must have changed. You're welcome. btw, I love dogs too!

The good thing about the internet is, if somebody claims to have been an amazing football player it now only takes a minute to find out if it's true. One leader I knew had been in a band for a short while. There was even an album. I don't know what label if any, had signed them. But it was really bad, don't think many bought it. He held on to an old record player so he could relive his glory days. I had to refrain from cringing when he played it. Even w/out him going into the corpsey he would have never been a succesful musician. He hadn't played or practiced in years, but it seemed like he held on to this belief that he had sacrificed fame and fortune to serve the one true God. He acted all noble about it. I alternated between feeling sorry for him or wanting to laugh. He held up himself and his short lived, unremarkable music career as an example to the rest of the household. The last time I heard him teach, he was still bringing it up twenty something years later.

Posted 22 December 2011 - 01:12 PM Yeah Yeah Yeah. Just like the Loyster could run a fortune 500 co, Hi Co Caravan could make Nashville, all Waaaaahcorpse can immediately walk into at least middle management upon leaving full time staff......Yada Yada Yada.... Hey that would make a funny thread. What other delusions of grandeur were there that people claimed to give up to serve twi?

I remember the insanity of the "itineraries". I could actually just sign your post with my name, as the experiences are almost identical.

Yeah Yeah Yeah. Just like the Loyster could run a fortune 500 co, Hi Co Caravan could make Nashville, all Waaaaahcorpse can immediately walk into at least middle management upon leaving full time staff......Yada Yada Yada.... Hey that would make a funny thread. What other delusions of grandeur were there that people claimed to give up to serve twi?

LOL. How true. I have always liked Christmas. But for a long time, I pretended not to, because of my involvement w/ twi. I led a Christmas "double life". :blink: I found ways and great people to spend Christmas with and have fun. Then I would return myself to the sour pusses. Any twi HO HO I experienced was dry, dull and depressive and usually concluded with a gift presentation being made to an arrogant, inept and unkind leader. We would applaud as if they really had blessed our lives all year. Their egos were fed, our hearts were starved for the kind and loving festivities non twi people were experiencing. I will never waste another Christmas again if I can help it. (And I'm not talking about gifts. I'm talking about wasting time with Miserable Comforters). I love the cheerfulness, colors, scents, sights, sounds and tastes of Christmas. I like how people try to be nice. I like gathering with kind people and the warmth and coziness we all share. I like wrapping paper and how pretty it is, the smell of a Christmas tree and the bright happy lights. I love it and I say Merry Christmas as much as I can. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

If it wasn't so tragic it would actually be funny. It was all so stupid when you look at it on paper.