Bramble

Thanks ladies! It is a little weird to be having more problems with clothes at this age than I did at 16. That magazine looks great, and affordable! Who is the author of Something More?

I got to thinking about this reading the other 50 something thread. I'm close to fifty, and I have gone through alot of changes in the past 4 or 5 years, after we left TWI. The most stressful change to my husband has actually been my weight loss, which you'd think he would like, because in the looks department it is certainly an improvement--I weigh about 50 lbs less than our last year in TWi. Never once, in all our years in TWI, did we have a discussion about my clothes! Now I never know what I should wear--do I look frumpy? Dress too cute? Is this too low? Is this too young? too tight? too baggy? I wish there was a fashion magazine for 50 something women. For our anniversary last year we went to a big city, to some clubs with music.I picked out an outfit, black jeans, boots, a red patterned gauze top(floaty) over a black lacy(close knit lace, too) tank top. Everything was covered! Some things by 3 layers! I looked good, but not like I was going to a branch meeting. No skin showed! I figured it was appropriate for our evening--a nice staek house, then clubs with bands... Hubby still hasn't decided if he liked it or hated it. I guess I should stick with sweatshirts. Then my sis gave me a red sheer blouse for Christmas--because I already have the tank to wear under. "Who gave you a see through shirt???" I didn't even try to explain that you're Supposed to wear something under. I have never had the guts to wear that, even though sis has a white one just like it and wears it to work. I can figure out my work wardrobe--it's the casual and dressy stuff I'm having a hard time with. I'm at an awkward age.

For years TWI leadershi+ has felt comfortable going through innie's medicine cabinets, sock drawers, and detailed family budgets. I can see that to them, messing with someone's mail would be no big deal. Except it is against the law. OOPS.

One area where spouse and I have seen Way Brain at work is when one of us makes a *gasp* mistake--like leaving the butter out, or leaving the hose running. Locking yourself out of the house.Stupid things. We can sure get bent out of shape about that stuff. A mistake!! Where's the attention to detail??? I see YOU made a mistake! It's like one stupid mistake is going to bring down the sky. We've come to realize that kind of stuff is nothing to foam at the mouth about. Life is waaay to short.

Heck, with more full time leadershi+ with expense accounts, they can delve even deeper into the lives of the innies. Seems awfully leadership heavy for so few followers. 3000 followers need a couple hundred leaders to oversee them??? Well, they are getting what they're ABSing for.

Disturbing AND scary. There are churches like The Presbyterians, I think, that do not try to accept this as a good thing. I disgusts me that I once followed the TWI partyline on this stuff.

Don't really know--I think it is some type of hormone, Vickles. I ran across the info while surfing perimenopause. Sis and I have both noticed 50 something women who seem to be wild and crazy where men are concerned, having wild ladies nights out etc. I think a factor would be that the kids are older, so mother's have more freedom and time.

I read somewhere that some women have an increase in natural DHEA during perimenopause, and so have an increase in their sex drive. If that should coincide with the hubby being less interested, I can see that would cause some strain, mid life crisis etc.

People exiting the Way are not going be able to control what their spouse believes a few years down the road. They might find their own beliefs change over the years. I think new exWay people should realize that happens, and that it does not have to be an automatic divorce, like it was in TWI. They don't have to draw the line in the sand, love is bigger than that. TWI was actually very pro divorce, unlike some other religions. We were taught that love IS conditional, marriage is conditional, the household is conditional--heck, the priveledge of passing out the song books was conditional. The Way taught us to hate and fear Other Beliefs, that people who held those beliefs led awful lives full of sin and consequence. They were demonized, villified. I have not personally seen that since I left the Way, in the lives of people around me. I see all types of people leading good and decent lives, with times of sorrow and times of joy, and they hold all types of religious beliefs. Those who show kindness, compassion, who give a damn about others seem to do all right, whether they are exway, RC, whatever. They tend to have friends and family that love them. The people I see who truly have awful lives are those involved in drugs, alchohol, abusive situations(including TWI) or have mental illness or other mental health issues. I've seen selfish, self involved people who don't seem peaceful or happy...but I can't point to their religion as the cause of that.Saw those folk in TWI, too. Every TWI leadership,and many ex TWI leadership would counsel my husband to divorce me, wrangle custody of the kids from me, due soley to my beliefs. Yet we manage to be happy together. Our kids are not out of control misfits, we don't argue all day long...we were far more miserable back in our Way Daze when we were like minded.

This is one of the reasons we got rid of all our old TWI stuff. Some we ebayed soon after we left, but other stuff we kept around...who knows why. Then one day we thought about our kids finding this stuff, perhaps after we died or something(we were cleaning out Grandma's house at the time) and decided to get involved in the group mom and dad were into. Yucky thought!

http://answers.org/satan/brown.html The author sounds unstable to me.

I worry, I call the school all the time. I check and double check stuff all the time, I run them to the doctor when I can't tell if they are a little sick or really sick. I still make sure they wash their hands before supper. I check their homework, I check the computer history(they don't know I do this.) I give them my cell phone when they go to the movies with friends--just in case. I won't let them swim far from shore in the local muddy bottom lake... I figure if something makes me uncomfortable concerning my kid, then maybe there is something wrong, or some potential for things to be wrong. Since they are my responsibility to raise, I go with my comfort level. Sometimes my kids do complain about me being over protective(which I don't think I am!) I tell them at least they know thier mom gives a damn. My husband is comfortable with my level of vigilence and shares it. I'm glad he is not into the whole 'my believing will keep them safe' stuff. Now, that would worry me!

My marriage was almost a ministry activity. I think the things that saved it from that was that my husband never had any desire to control me--it is not his nature at all. He's a team player kind of guy. And he likes me to be happy. The head of the household, which we believed in, was never any big deal to us--he didn't want to make decisions that caused me more work, or made me unhappy, so we talked everything out. Another saving grace--hubby's parents were completely different people in temperament, politics and religious views, yet they were very happy together. BTW, I saw plenty of TWI women control their marriages through the magic of tattling to leadership when their spouse did something 'off the word.' Hubby and I thought they were nuts! How could that possibly make a marriage better? Then thier spouse would look for things to tattle on them about--sheesh. We had plenty of interference in our marriage and family life by leadership as it was--neither of us had any desire for more. After we left TWI (about a year or so later) we realized we were changing in doctrinal beliefs, and not necessarily in the same directions. We decided beliefs would not be an issue to fight about in our marriage, we could each have our own, we could be free to change. That area of our marriage has changed very much, but living the TWI lifestyle wasn't something we loved or wanted to continue doing, anyway. We let our kids explore other beliefs, go to churches etc. One church group we did stop two of them from attending, since the two were coming home with an ugly attitude of 'We're Christian and you're Not' stuff, causing trouble with their other sibling and with neighbor kids. That elitist attitude is not welcome in our home, it causes division. I feel sorry for the people who couldn't be married to a Trinitarian or what ever...my way or the highway is an ugly way to live, knowing a change in beliefs would mean the end of your marriage. Wow.

I looked for myself and I was not there. :)-->

It must have been Dave Arneson that I met. I was pretty sure it was a Dave! Thanks.

Was this the PFAL grad who was involved in Dungeons and Dragons? I met him once in CA but couldn't remember his name. http://www.cbc.ca/story/arts/national/2005...14.html?ref=rss

You might try checking out the local hospitals. They hire all kinds of staff other than medical. Pay might not be really high, but you have access to all the great benefits like health/dental insurance and 401k(or 501, I forget), sick and vacation hours. I loved working for a large hospital(in their daycare.) I had the family on my health insurance, and it was the best insurance we've ever had.

My kids went for a few years after we left TWI when they were in grade school. They enjoyed it. The ones they went to were very well organized and had a 'camp' feel with lots of crafts and games.

My husband only allows kosher salt in the house. It is like doctrine or something. I guess it is that much better. I'm a low sodium gal, myself. The diet from Hell, according to my husband.

My husband certainly sidetracked his career in order to 'do the Word'. He had several great job promotions that would have taken us to cities with out fellowships. In the nineties there were only about 4 cities in the state we lived in that had active fellowships, so he turned them down. Had to stay where the Word is hot and all that. He does have an opportunity coming up, which means a big move, and we're glad about that. It is odd visiting my many cousins, most of them are near my husband and I in age, and seeing the houses they now have, the types of jobs they have, how little they've moved around etc--we're still in a 'starter' home, and glad to even have that! As far as the idea that we need to hush up about non way like beliefs, I say if an innie would rather stay in, and live with abuse, than go out into the big wide world with Trinitarians and Hindus etc, then they have bigger issues than can be fixed on an internet forum.

Um, there are competing organizations. Pagans have Spiral Scouts http://www.spiralscouts.org/metadot/index.pl, And isn't there a conservative Christian scouting group? I remember buying one of my kids an expensive khaki shirt and badges when they were involved in a church group several years ago.

Thanks CFW! I'll try that.

Okay, I read this. Now I'm going to try speaking in tongues: "Beep Beep Boop Boop." Yup. I'm possessed. :o--> Vickles--maybe your family had the spirit of Backbone.

Vickles, I bought some seeds on ebay--some of the less common ones. I've also ordered from Heirloom Seeds http://www.heirloomseeds.com/herb.htm Others I got at Walmart or nurseries around town. I'll try the Greek Oregano!

Feverfew is a medicinal tea herb, good for headaches. But I'm growing it mainly because it fits toward the back of my garden and has daisy like flowers. Soapwort is a pink ground cover that can be used as a mild cleanser. My oregano doesn't have much flavor, so I'm thinking of getting a different variety. I tried to grow stevia--a natural sweetener-- but it won't grow in our ph soil. Maybe I'll grow some in a pot!