vickles

Ex, I totally understood what you were saying, you expressed yourself very well. mini me Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

I would like if its ok with you all to get back into the subject instead of this side fighting. So what other ways can we give at thanksgiving? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

I didn't say you need to leave MJ, I said stop screwing with me. As I said your beliefs are great but not everyone can spend time with their relatives and not every one deals with the same thing the same way. It neither makes them right or wrong. You have not walked in my shoes nor anyone else here. As I said its great what you believe but its not like that for everyone. And if they don't do what you do there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It sounds like you have great stress levels. I applaud you and your resilience. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Obviously you haven't ever given outside of the family to understand what I"m talking about. Why do I have to be with family on thanksgiving just because you 'think' its family time? We do get together as a family just not during holidays. In fact I'm going out 3 thousand miles to see my family this summer. Everyone is traveling out there. Maybe your just not getting what this whole thread is about. Its not about you. Or how your coping with how important it is to be with YOUR family. I'm talking about what people do to give on the outside. You have completely missed the point. I don't want to be mean mj but can you just leave it alone? Maybe your having a bad day or whatever but please leave it alone. Its really great you have a wonderful family and everything and that you love to spend it during the holidays and you think that giving is putting up with certain things with your family. But not all of us here have that privilege be it being too far away or a death in the family. Not all families deal with things the way yours does. More power to you and your family. It doesn't make it right or wrong. Your beliefs are different. You believe that its very important to be with your relatives. Thats great!!! But to judge that others should and that it is that time of year that everyone should be together is not right. Is there some rule book that says we have to be with our relatives for thanksgiving? Where are the rules, I would love to see them. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Gosh mj, go find someone else to screw around with will ya? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

aawwww ex, I really am thankful to you. You understand my heart. And the experience of the tremendous loss of my family. Although it was many years ago it still will always be there. He was my brother and hurt and changed my life but I think of my mother and the loss she had. I don't know if I could even function if it was my own child. We don't get together for the holidays out of respect for my mother and how hard it is on her. Not to mention that I"m about 3 thousand miles away. I really am working on with my kids how important it is to be able to give. I think nowadays a lot of people only think of themselves and never get out of the me thing. Right now my kids are teens and I've taught them from babyhood that giving is so important. But as you all know teens are very selfish and I"m still working with them so that they know how important it is. Plus this is a great way to do something as a family. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

I am usually a nice person but don't feel nice right now... Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

I remember when I first left my ex and didn't have money for christmas. The church we went to brought so many gifts that it filled half the room. The kids and I had the best christmas ever. I will always hold that year dear to my heart. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Oh, and btw, MJ, I was being facetious about you and your perfect family. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

I loved the movie 'Pay it Forward"!!!!!!! I cried my eyeballs out. I loved how it showed how it effected a lot of lives. This was a true story. Sad though the end of it. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

You know mj, what I said had nothing to do with my family not getting along. My family and I are very close. As I mentioned we had a death in our family and its very hard for us to get together at that time. It is too stressful on my mother. The reason why its so stressful for her is that she feels the need to serve and be the hostess and she can't handle that at that time of year. I'm so glad you have such a great and healthy family. But please don't put me in a category. And you know it kind of makes me mad because I'm talking about giving and how important it is to not just look at the thanks part but the giving part. That is the context of the thread not getting into how great your family and how great YOU are. And how other families don't function as well as your own. And you know what? If a family can't get together because it does not function well is it any right of yours to judge just because you have that such a perfect family? I also said that thanksgiving time is a great time for me to show MY kids the aspect of giving. Thanksgiving is looked upon as giving thanks for what you have. I'm looking at it as giving to those that don't have. Of course you can give any time of the year. But obviously you never been around people that don't have on THEIR level. They would like families and homes and such. What about the kids? Anyways, I hate the way you judge people. Just because YOU have such a great life doesn't mean that everyone has. Does that make them wrong because you don't live that way? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

wow, colleen we do think great things. You totally understand what I was trying to bring up in the other thread, thanks. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

nll, you are so right. When I was doing foster care that was the biggest time I recieved kids. It was so sad. IT can be a hard time for families. I think the pressure is on because society has made it so that people believe that that is the time that we are to enjoy and be a perfect family. That perfect family thing does not exist. But that is what I believe. I try and make it a comfortable time for my kids. I don't get together with relatives. The main reason is that I live too far away. But another reason is that its just too hard on the whole family. I had a brother that died several years ago and its hard on my mom during that time and if we all get together it puts too much stress on her. Its better to get together when its not a holiday. For my family at least. It has helped greatly with my kids to be able to get out and help others. The focus is not on the family but others. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Thanksgiving is coming up and several years ago I wanted to teach the kids the giving part of thanksgiving so we would volunteer on that day. I had concentrated on the thanks part for so long that I had forgotten the giving aspect of it. We have a lot to be thankful for and its always good to look at but what about the giving part of it? I thought maybe this thread could be about what you do in life that you give? I am really interested in hearing how or what you do and how it has changed your life or others. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

did you find the balloons? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

I miss his humor. --> Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Abigail, I have a daughter that suffers from bipolar and anxiety disorders but one of the things they are looking at also is aspergers. She has a problem with doing things on paper and she does not do well socially. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Happy birthday chinney, Hope you have a good year!!! Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

yes ralph he is, I heard he is back in new jersey and out of twi. PI me and I will tell you who has more info. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

oh dot, that is so healing. After this can we release balloons? Maybe we can put some notes in them? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Thanks you all for responding. Its interesting from the posts received that its only a few new people and one of the responses said that the few that were new were at a meeting had to stop and ask questions because it was assumed that they had the same background. I'm assuming a lot but it sounds sort of sad, doesn't it? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

karmic, I'm asking if there are people in these exway fellowships that have not been in twi. If there is it would be nice to know and what they are teaching and how they are bringing the new ones in. The offshoot I checked out at one time had just all exway people in it. I think new people would keep things more fresh and alive, don't you? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

hey, I was wondering if these offshoots have new people that have never heard of the way? Is it all exway people or are they actually getting new people to these fellowships. If they don't have newbies, why not? If they do what is attracting the new people? Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

MJ, I know how scarey this may be for you but.... If you do decide to go....who knows someone there might know of a job for you. I don't think they will be looking at how much of a mess you think you are but if they truly are your friends and love you they will be happy to spend time with you. It sounds like it could be a very healing time for you. If you just can't do it have you thought about maybe e-mailing this person flying in and seeing if they would like to go out for a cup of coffee or tea or something? I appreciate your honesty with this mj, you are not the only one that goes through these thoughts and feelings. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

Thanks, rachel, I knew he has been ill for many years and would like to contact him and tell him how much I appreciated him when I was in his Wow family. Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!