I had planned to stay out of this thread but anyone who knows me knows what kind of mama I am. I can't stand it, I gotta get in. I am WELL aware Sam can take care of herself and answer your questions or comments without any help from me.
Samantha's visit to the Way Woods/TWI was considered and set up totally by her, but the permission request, etc. was not because of Mr McMullan, rather in spite of.
I have been well informed at every step of the McMullan vs TWI goings on. I knew what was fixin to happen,when, by whom and what the consequences might be.
This is/was because my late husbands remains were there, making it my business as well as the business of his children.
Perhaps many of you also know that Sami's father's entire family is still in TWI. That requires her to look at things with a little differant lens than you or others might. She doesn't want to purposely take action that might harm whatever relationship she might enjoy with them.
Having said that it was me who instructed her on the goings on and what might be a good way to approach her visit. Mr McMullan had not yet been to court nor had any new rules or regs been established.
Did I want my child have her visit turn into a media mess or have her be denied access because she failed to extend a common courtesy? Of course not, and her asking permission to visit was a small thing to have to do so that she might have a nice visit.
I'm sure none of you here would think it too much to ask in order that your child might be able to visit their loved ones grave site. Would you say to them "No, that place is evil and you are not to visit there, I don't care if you never get to visit your fathers/mothers burial site" ?
Sami didn't leave TWI. I, as her mother, did and being a 17 year old child, had to go with me. Surely you can see how that makes things differant for her and how TWI might see her through a differant lens as well.
She was a child, she wasn't consulted about us leaving, she didn't even know about it until the very last moment when she learned not only were we not going to fellowship anymore, but she was also leaving her home, friends, school and moving across the country. This only a year after losing her father.
TWI knows this and the blame and responsibility is entirely on my shoulders; I accept that and I'd do it almost exactly the same if I had it to do over again.
This is also a young women that only recently has been told everything else involving TWI. At the time of her visit to the Way Woods, she knew little, if anything, about their past presidents legal troubles, nor did she really know enough about why we left.
With that in mind, understand her desire was simple. She wanted to visit the place where her father's remains were buried on the day of the 5th anniversary of his death, period, the end of story.
TWI was gracious to her as well as me when I called them to ask what to do in regards to her visit. That is when we learned that she'd need to work out a time, where to park, how to get an escort, etc.
I was very proud of her during this time, as I always am. She was quite gracious herself, she carried herself with the pride of a strong young woman paying respect to her father's burial site, his memory and she offered respect and kindness to the place, the organization that invited us to have him buried in a place he loved so much.
Sami invited myself and her sister to make this visit with her. I declined because of the reasons I've stated here; it is me that would be a problem for TWI, not Sami. I declined for her sister because I couldn't be there to oversee the then 7 year old child's visit to a place she wouldn't remember to stand over a piece of campfire where she'd told her daddy is buried.
My children are also the reason I was not by Mr McMullans side during his court dealing with TWI. Their fathers death is a very painful reality in their lives, made more so by the inability of TWI to understand and be honest about it. The reality of his death is also made managable by TWI being willing to not punish them because of my actions. What if we'd been in the court room as witnesses, what if we'd aired our private business to prove some point? Would they then be as welcome? I suspect not.
Samantha and Kelly have had to pay for the sins of their mother in every other regard.
If they have to work out an appointment to visit their fathers burial site, then so be it. Sami is right, it's private property. Our friends who are still in TWI also have to work out times to visit the way woods to visit their loved ones burial site; they can't just wander over.
I understand the promise made by the man who started the whole thing. I understand about the amounts of money given to maintain it. I paid my share and know it's not fair. But life is like that sometimes; it stinks but they get to make the rules about this one and my children and me will comply if that's what we have to do so that they can visit the place where a great and wonderful father was laid to rest.
I'm thankful that you can't understand what that must be like, it means you've not lost someone you loved as much as these girls loved their father.
Had he been invited, before his death, to have his remains buried there, he would have unquestionably said yes. He loved those woods, TWI or not. He spent alot of time, skipping main events at ROA, sitting at that campfire area, all alone. He was 'at home' there for some reason.
Regardless of his wife and children one day no longer being involved, the woods was loved by him and he'd be button popping proud of Samantha for her maturity, guts, and gracefulness when she deals with those that she has to in order to visit him.
I know I am.
:)
