Shellon

Happy Birthday Topof :)

love ya strange dude

I completely agree, Pond. What I'm adding is that we consider others lives too. My example of children/adult, etc was just that, example. I would be re-miss to jump your head if you said something I didn't agree with, but would be better to consider the 'why' of our disagreement.

I have two children, both girls. One is 26, the other one is 13. They are about as differant as night and day; completely unique people. The oldest one is my waterloo and if I say things harshly to her, she hears me completely and can relate to that. In fact that is the only way to interact with her 90% of the time. She also is very direct with me. My youngest is more gentle and laid back and if I were to be harsh with her, it'd send her into a pile of puddle. She can't relate to it. With her I have to present things in a question format, to allow her time to digest it and think about it. They are both my kids, both amazingly wonderful young women, but I can't approach either of them like the other, it's just fact. However, they both approach me the same way. Direct, simple, right to the point, honest. I insist on it. We here at this place are like that, I think. And I think it behooves us all to consider more than what we see on the surface. What is the other person's background, what are their standards and beliefs. What kind of shi tty day did they have that they might need to bite my face when normally they wouldn't. What might they be dealing with that we don't even have a clue about, how might we consider more than what we read, how might we help them instead of biting back, no matter how badly we would like to. Kindness, empathy, human-ness. If you're a teacher, you have 22 students in one room and not one of them are the same. One needs more attention and more discipline, which takes time from the other 21. Two are fighting over something that seems stupid, but it's not to them, so you have to take more time from the other 20 to deal with that. One has a ton of bricks on his back cuz of things going on at home, another just lost his mama, yet another just moved here and is scared. You go home at the end of the day and have a good cry or a good yell but you'd never ever ever let those kids see that frustration, ever. That's the way I see GSC alot of the time. We could do much better to take care of each other if we considered the whole picture. I understand that we're not going to know everything about each other, we're not going to hear the kind of day someone had who appears to be acting ugly hearted. But we can consider it! We might take a little bit of time out of our own busy stuff to really look, really listen, really think about what they said, read between the lines, ask questions, wonder 'hmmm that's not like them' or "wow, what's bringing that on?" My background is of strength and advocacy, I was raised to be a strong woman and stand up for myself no matter what. However, I have to get my poop in a group first and consider with whom I'm debating. What are their strong points, where did they come from, am I prepared to be fair all the way through. If not, I better shut up and wait til I am. And if I'm not willing to, I'm going to be eaten alive and have no business crying about it; I knew. I might have only one thing going on today and however critical and important that one thing is to me, the other person might have 17 things today. My one thing isn't going to be very critical to them. They might not even think of me today while I'm hollaring about whatever it is, wishing they'd listen to me and do it my way. There is no my way here. There is no your way here. It's not an option. Perhaps when we have a point, we write it down somewhere else, save it, think about it, really consider how it might be received. Do we really want that other person to hear it as harsh, is that other person one we've noticed doesn't receive harshness well? What about talking to that other person privately and begin with something more gentle. Regardless, listen to them, give them the same exact courtesy you're asking of them. Don't just react, but really consider what they're saying, really read it a few times, digest it, consider the persons heart behind it. Look beyond the written words, ask questions. Walk away from your computer before hitting the Add Reply button, go for a walk, read something in the news about a mama who'd just lost her child or old friend that have re-connected after a 30 year estrangement, then ask yourself some questions. If you're still willing to take on what might come from your words, hit the damn button. Be also willing to take on what they say in response back. Why not? What's been going on lately isn't working, obviously.

Thanks Lifted, I usually don't express here, you're right. Like you, I think, I tend to follow the rule of "if you can't say anything nice, shut up" I just don't see the point in poking, shoving, repeating myself til I and the one I'm trying to convince pukes. It doesn't have to take so long to realize when the other person isn't interested in what I have to say. It only gets embarassing, I look the fool. No thanks. One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I got EVER was last year when I was told by a dear friend "You need to shut up and listen for a change". It took some humbling to swallow but once I did, I was stunned and thrilled at what I'd been missing by not listening, by jumping before I knew the facts and by not considering the other person. Since then my blood pressure is much better!

It's amazing and shameful to me how Wierwille still gets to do this same kind of shi t even now. He wins some more. Anyone who's been around here for more than a day or three knows better than to stoop to this nonsense. Why try to MAKE someone hear us? What is the point in FORCING someone to consider our point? Gawddamn, if I have to work this hard to convince someone of my point, it is time to realize it aint gonna happen. Beg another to listen, why? Because the point is so wonderful? Scream louder so someone will hear it more? Naw, people will just cover their ears to drown out the screaming. Say it over and over and over and over because surely they'll get it the 12th time? What a time waster. Knowing what is being said is going to hurt someone, even accidently, and still saying it.........well I got nothing for that one. Sigh, what a shamefully waste of the use of what this site is for

I just started Wellbutrin today, we'll see how that goes..............

Happy Birthday BikerBabe Hope your day is wonderful!

I never considered planning my funeral, etc., until my husband died a young man at 35 and we had no idea what the heck he might have wanted, save for a few comments here and there he's made. And it didn't make any differance anyway since TWI did their thing. That changed my tune real quick. A couple of years later I wrote it all down, got it notarized, witnessed, all that. I also have a minor child so I was happy to set up guardianship for her too, as well as finances for her care. I'm glad I did it. It's not fun, it's a little tough to write some of it, but I figure it'll make things a little less stressful for my kids or my brothers if I die while my youngest is still a minor. Also, just because I tell my kids if they put me in the ground whole I'll find them and scare the bejeezus outa them, doesn't mean they'll actually cremate me unless it's in writing, legal. I highly recommend everyone have their wishes, funeral desires or specify no funeral, whatever they want. Hell, my information even gives a few contact numbers for this place.

I hear people giggling............ But you're welcome Hap!

Thanks Hap, I needed that this afternoon! :)

Police have to err on the side of caution, especially with all the citizens who do carry weapons now and do react. Or those that had one bad experience with a cop and therefore all cops are bad. I carry and if I get mouthy and at all troublesome, that handgun is not going to serve me in my favor, it being in the vehicle. Yup, remain quiet, cooperative and let them do what they do. I was with a friend once who got stopped and she got downright beligerant. I was sure we were both gonna get three hots and a cot for at least the night. The old 'I pay your salary' anger isn't going to cut it. And if there really is a problem in my neighborhood I want them to be checking on things, even if it's pi ssing people off in the process. I wouldn't want their job, that's for sure.

It's really not about that. It's about these men using the penis as a weapon. These women didn't necessarily find either of them attractive or within their standards of the kind of man to go for.

Everytime I read something about that damn wooden spoon I cring with the memory of using it myself on my oldest. It was always a firm tap, until one time when she was five years old. I was trying to get her to follow some impossible instruction and was using the spoon on her tush. It was more than a tap after a few times. She put her hand on her butt and the spoon broke some blood vessels in her little hand. I might have broken my sweet girls hand! I broke every wooden spoon in the house and never used one again. Even now I can't cook with one. The child forgave me in her five year old way and we moved along in life but today, 21 years later, I can see that little hand.......... :(

Good luck Raf! Will love updates from time to time if you want to give them.

Are you serious?????:blink: You are trying to blame victims for what happened to other victims? How DARE you? You have just set women back at least 30 years, minimally. Not to even mention those here who took YEARS to even tell us, who they trusted to believe them and assist them. We tell these women, everywhere not to be afraid, and you come out with this feces, this puke? Wow, stunning, just stunning and what a sad sad shame for you.

HA, yeah, lets do that next time. Good point, though, sheesh, can't people just put on their big girl panties and deal?

ROFL, cracks me up what we waste our valuable time on

I have a huge pin I wear when I give of my free time in the community that says "Don't yell at me, I'm a volunteer" Since the staff word has been deposited, remember Paw and the moderators volunteer their time to this mess, not a dime is exchanged. Frankly, the issue should be a closed one. Bumpy is diggin the attention, but bullies do. Lingo is diggin the attention, but every bully has a special pal, one who is scared of them and feeds their frenzy to avoid their wrath. Personally, to be laughed at like that should be only embarassing to them.

I'm puzzled, really I am. I fail to understand why in the world one or two posters feelings, opinions, whereabouts, etc., are more important than others. To offer that someone does NOT know what they did to require some action here is just silly. When we, humans, are in a pickle somewhere, we damn well KNOW what we've done to deserve it. I mean, please, come on. We're a dysfunctional family around here that somehow works. If someone doesn't want to be functionally dysfunctional enough to get along within some reason, that's really ok. Just do something else. Amen. If you don't do your part in keeping the boat rowing in some kind of reasonable direction, don't be pi$$ed off about losing your oars. And don't waste time crying about why, who, what, when, how. Of course s/he knows exactly what was done wrong. Cristamighty, I feel like I know and I wasn't even there, clearly didn't give any attention to it and honestly, don't care. It's been done and said, deal with it.

Happy Birthday, it was wonderful to talk to you and catch up. Nice to sing to you even. I'm sorry for that.

I have no opinion about Johns letter, now or the first one. I am curious that he referred to The Way International through out the letter as the shortened TWI version. I don't know.........just strange to me

Happy Birthday Lori! Enjoy the day

A little differant entertainment combo'd with a little of my favorite beverage

Cool kid As an Advocate in the school system for mentally, emotionally and physically challenged kids, I love this. Love that he plays like everyone else! http://www.heraldleaderphoto.com/2008/05/31/