Shellon

No, he should not have been and there should never ever be such an amount of time as he or anyone should. As per the subject here, will he fall under the "he's a minister, so has more privelages" bullshi+? We, of course, don't know.

The state of Kentucky does not have laws forbidding sex offenders, convicted or otherwise, from being ordained. Not the only state that fails in this area. He was convicted of the molestation of one child and another victim surfaced, but the victim couldn't, didn't want to, testify so it never got prosecuted. Clearly understandable from the childs point of view. Will he re-offend? The recitivism rate for sex offenders is staggering, so if it were my call I'd say no question, no doubt and I'd not be shocked to learn of another offense in the last 8 years since he's been a free man. So a minister should be held accountable, what about a minister that already wasn't?

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2173189/lifetime_sex_offender_ordained_as_minister.html?cat=7

A church in Louisville Kentucky just ordained a convicted sex offender. They want to "give him the chance he's deserved". And yes, of course celibacy isn't necessary applicable but I think that monogamy certainly is assumed because the man is a minister.

I wonder if people often hesitate when a minister/ministry, etc is part of the problem is because of that, exactly. Shame, maybe and still that allegiance to the one who hurt, regardless if it's ill placed. Any victim will so often not get help, not tell, not seek assistance for so many reasons, not the least of which is "how could you let that happen?" Right or wrong, it's Reality or Stockholm Syndrome or Fear or Shame or whatever it is for that particular victim. Even and maybe especially if it's his wife ~!

ha, love the P C story And in the story of the 15 y/o, I do not think it was his wife's fault for "letting herself go" which is such another soapbox of mine and certainly not the fault of the 15 y/o. In his case, he had a double edged responsibility as a 'man of God' AND the adult in the situation. In a marriage, anyone can find excuses to make other excused to do stupid stuff that, does very much indeed, ruin many lives. But some have more accountability.

:) Watered Garden I love that story as well ~! As it should be, eh? Again, this subject, certainly between a man and women considering marriage and perhaps more so if one is in a ministering position, they have to talk to each other. Before they dress up for a wedding. I think I can understand why a woman might not tell her betrothed about child hood sexual abuse, even if I find it dangerous that she doesn't. If she can't trust him, then who? Sadly, I understand that, again as a realist, that's so not the case in the majority. I also am easy to understand if he's a minister or their plans are that he will be in short order. Would it be easy for her to assume that when and if she does get the courage to tell him, he'd obviously understand, point no fingers at her and help her heal? I think it would, especially given our cultural "but he's here in God's stead" thinking. She might think she's safe, whenever she tells him. If the sexual part of their marriage is suffering as perhaps a result of her memories, but she can't tell him, all he's got is his imagination and fears; and if he asks her "what's wrong" but gets "nothing" in response but something clearly is......... And, one might suggest, that is the time, eventually that he (minister or not) might justify his own actions of finding someone who will share so fully with him. And then made worse if she has all those old and crusty beliefs that 'he's a minister and has needs'. Blech

I doubt she's suggesting it's the woman's fault, still or then. What I expect is her point is that often women might consider the stereotype that a minister would not put sex as high on his list of needs as another, perhaps he'd have hangups that would free her from having to participate her own self. Aren't we taught from a very young age that the minister is very nearly celibate; or suggested, at least. And consider the Priests who are supposed to not do such things; I can see where a young woman who has her own issues with sexual matters could consider that any man who professes himself one of God would not put her in a place to have to deal with them. I remember the churches we used to wander in and out of when I was growing up and while I never considered anything they said in terms of sexual issues, I did believe that a minister was supposed to consider his wife a gem, his treasure and he loved her unconditionally, period. Wouldn't that allow a young woman comfort in believing that her own minister husband would do the same to her, no matter what happened to her body, how much she didn't enjoy sexual relations, if that were the case? Certainly if she took those vows with him and ESPECIALLY if the conversation of sex never came up before some other minister type person said "I now pronounce you..." then she finds out he does, indeed, want, hope, expect her to be as sexually interested as he, she'd be in a fix huh? Still doesn't make it her fault if he uses his capacity as minister to go outside his marriage and as stated, I don't think that was Tzaia's point.

Yes, Watered Garden, and of course under the umbrella of the Man Of God. I don't know, I find myself the realist, man of God or man in the moon; anyone who is going to go outside their marriage can find a reason, an excuse to do so. We've discussed here about how it's tweaked somehow when a minister, pastor, preacher (whatever the title) uses that to impress, entice, lure, oppress, frighten, promise...... Agreed, she does present it more as 'accept responsibility', which is refreshing, isn't it?

I've read this book by Dr. Betty Price. I'll not really offer an opinion except that the story seems to be the same; a man of God often seems to believe he has more rights than others. The attached article gives a pretty adequate story about the book. My link

hee hee, ummmmm.......yeah, hee hee

Q-tip.... LOLOLOLOL

To your freedom......

I had just taken my daughter to school and was working on homework at the kitchen table, news on in the background like every morning, mostly background noise. Sat and watched for awhile and all I wanted to do was go get my daughter from school, travel to where my oldest daughter and her family lives, gather everyone up and just be sure I had my babies with me. Called my Marine brother and woke him up instead since he was 3 hours behind me in time, then we just watched together until I couldn't stand it anymore and then I did go pick up my elementary aged daughter and kept her home the rest of the week to just be able to see her constantly. Sunset memorial moment around our lake tonight...........

Understood

I suspect the original poster of this thread, in his/her boredom, felt they had a legit question for us. There have been relationship forged and built here. Friendships that are still strong after many years. Births celebrated, deaths grieved, marriages, divorces, school, books published, stories finally told, freedoms attained, homes purchased, moves prayed for, lives gained and lost in more ways than what shows on the surface, we cry together, we laugh together, we pray for each other. Life happens here.

Every time this subject comes up, I'm confused. This is American, is it not? Can't we frequent any website we wish? Who cares why someone is still here, who cares what websites anyone hangs at? Do you care what news sites I visit every day, or parenting blogs or what I write, read? When I have to answer to anyone as to my reasons for being anywhere.........well, I'm not doing it. It's no one's business but mine, period.

I would agree, Kimberly, but would also add it's about power and control. If the bully, child or adult, has little to no power in his/her home or other circumstances, they surely can and will get it somewhere. For bullies like TWI and others of that nature, they can use their victims own already low self esteem/doubt/home life/circumstances to gain access to their achilles heel. My daughter's bully in 7th grade took her as a victim because she stood up for the original victims. Which, perhaps as Jeff is suggesting here, happens frequently at places on the internet as well. It's such a multi-faceted circle. I have seen instances where the bully does respond favorably to care and concern, kindness and absorbs that much needed attention and love, much like your story and I love it when that happens. Much is taught in the home. A child who is abused at home knows only that, needs a place to release his/her own anger and they certainly can not on their own bully. In a nearby school system, there have been FIVE suicides in 2 years where the children had been bullied and finally had enough; such tragedy and,I think, so avoidable if those with the better power and control over situations had listened and believed and acted. Not to be confused with laying the blame on parents/administrators.

My apologies, I didn't mean to turn this into a 'I'm leaving the joint'. That's not the case and I see, now, how it might look like that. I just meant to say that it's nice, around here, to get compliments once in awhile; encourages one to continue to stick around. Back to the program......

Thank you, Geisha. I closed my myspace account, so please PM me the link to your kid's song there and I'd love to listen !