Shellon

on my way

http://bestinspections.us/chat/chat.html come check it out. 10 PM Eastern Standard Time; lets hook up and check it out, but open 24/7. General polite society, self policing for now, lets keep it cordial and casual.

Finally found this thread again. Excellent point Groucho. It should be a "individual and private journey", shouldn't it? Toxic relationships, toxic jobs, toxic faith; all should be examined privately, as well, and determined personally as to what is and is not in our own best interest. I didn't do the quiz in this thread, don't need to. And I appreciate the reality of growing older and stronger in my own ability to make my own choices and take my own actions. Nice place to be.

Box, you mentioned your surprise at what some are allowed to put on the internet anymore (put into my own words) and while that was part of what I'm talking about, I'm more speaking of how it hits us in our own lives when we read something that reminds us of something we'd forgotten, would just as soon forget, something painful, something hidden in the dark and deep crevices of our mind, so on. I understand that sometimes it can be good to have any or all of that re-surface, healthy even. Except for those that might not want to have their own personal scab ripped off with no fair warning. "Then don't turn on a computer" right? I understand that this site has been cathartic for many and I love that about it; it's brought out from behind the veil of secret alot of necessary secrets and subjects that are past due for discussion. I wonder if as human beings we might adopt for our own lives a "don't ask, don't tell" stance? Is that even possible. Is that another scab we've built from years of abuse at the hand(s) of a minister, someone with a title, a parent, an abuser. Then s/he reads something somewhere and the flood gates open up on their head with the pain and terror and whatever else has been stuffed spills forth. In the case of exposing some things with the goal of understanding further or even better gaining understanding for ourselves, then it's possibly a good spilling. Like most, I think, I want to choose and I no way suggest that it's ok for me to purposely trigger something for you, not in this medium of communication, certainly.

uhhuh

good question! This was 1984 and I've often wondered about Robert, much less about his creepy cool snake. Our daughter was just 2-3 at that time of watching snake eat mouse, so I was always happiest when she returned home w/ her dad every visit.

Annie ~!

Our most memorable fellah was very (very!) tall, answered to Robert and was Schrizophrenic. He'd be still and quiet one second and then the next he'd pop up out of his seat during fellowship and head for my kitchen and tip the sugar bowl, emptying most of it in his face. Then he'd wander around the house for a few minutes, rummage through the fridge or cupboards, ready for the coffee and cookies? Sometimes Robert would circle the kitchen/dining area and repeat whatever was being said in the fellowship before he returned to his seat. Finally he'd find his seat in our living room again. Sometimes he'd arrive in the middle of the day and just hang with me; never long, but long enough to consume his sugar from his bowl and leave as abruptly as he arrived. I started keeping an extra sugar bowl just for Robert so the rest of us didn't have to be served from the one he'd been licking. He had a very cool snake that he'd invite our oldest over to watch eat it's mouse from time to time. I forget what ever happened to Robert.

O M G Please send my new computer screen to Shellon R North P O Box justspatupmyfreshlymadeicedtea LOLOLOLOL And Jeff, babe, your spelling made it sound so much more German. Love you guys SNORK~!~!~!~!

Since the internet is the powerful thing that it has become and for some, the only medium of communication with most beyond our own safe and comfy existing, I'm thinking how much of a good tool it is/can be. For me I just have to keep my fingers out of the way of the hammer. I'm a realist, no getting around that and I'd just as soon deal with fact straight up and head on and get it out there and dealt with. However, having said that when someone in a website I frequent (yes maybe even this one) says something that triggers something in me, it can be even more powerful. If I'm wandering around my fave parenting site and read an article another parent writes that reminds me of something or someone I haven't considered in years or longer, it can be very startling. Then I have a decision to make don't I? If it's a person I'm triggered into remembering, I can then either enjoy the memory as one of fondness or remember him/her as the douchenozzle they were. Can I say nozzle here? It's not always and necessarily a bad memory and I'm not without belief that it could even be good to dredge up some old crusty cobwebs from time to time. I attended a hypnosis gig once and while I was but an audience member, thankfully, it did cause me to ask, silently lest I be noticed and invited, does that stuff really work? If you ring a bell or the chicken clucks, is it possible that it could invoke in another something distasteful, painful or even funny? Is it fair to say "you reminded me, damn you" or do we simply accept that it's going to happen and therein have to decide what to do with it?

Oh hell yeah, no doubt. It's not all about TWI and in fact, for me personally, TWI is minimal on the list of "crapola" I bought under the trust umbrella. It was but one of the poisons. What I understand, now, is that I can and should trust. Everyone, no. Everything, no. All the time, no. It's a process of knowing and understanding and gaining control over what we allow. That is the pleasure part for me. I get to choose and I love realizing that it's ok for me to choose, freely.

Jeff, thinking about your post and reading it several times, it took me a little while to understand and finally get to the place where you said you can "at least know the risks" and then make your decisions. That's a good point and due consideration given where we've all been and why we ended up there. Or here, or over there.... For me, personally, the stuff I ended up in that took me to place(s) of lack of trust weren't without my own accountability and I accept that, even 15 years in The Way Ministry. So, having said that and understanding your point, I agree that we can take from those experiences and carry the learning into new and hopefully better instances, circumstances and experiences and follow the 'fool me once, shame on you...' standards. For me, it's an almost daily healthy practice to remember how much something hurt or recall how much I invested before I found the exit door. But that isn't without it's benefits too, eh? I'm also reminded that it's not just me who has to be cautious, but to remember that I, too, have to prove myself and that should be acceptable too. If I want others to know me, trust me, invest their emotions, perhaps. :)

Jeff, you mostly know how I feel about this rassin frassin bunch of smellholes. Especially as it pertains to your heart and what it did to your marriage and relationship with your boy. What I am proudest of is your tenacity to confront their nasty, to deal with their ugly, to stand up against their evil. Since our stories are different in their losses and yet similiar in their strengths, I'm comfortable in sharing your pain and celebrating your victory over what they would have be your downfall. Talk about 'in your face' ~! :)

I'm struck by how we have to trust. If you and I are going south on our 127 highway here and I choose to pass you, I have to trust that you're going to notice my actions, not cut to your left in front of me and you have to trust that I'm going to complete the entire passing before I return right and we go along on our merry ways. I might never meet you in person, I might never know you, but I've chosen, at that moment, to trust you. And if I'm on 127 south, I've got my daughter with me, thereby changing the trust to a higher level of need. I went to my Chiropractor this morning and mentioned that I'd been in a roll over accident about 4 years ago and he was none to happy that I hadn't mentioned that before in his intake information to treat me. Was it because I didn't trust him with the information? Was it because I forgot? Yes, and my reasoning made perfect sense to me. But of people in my world that I might do well to trust with such trauma, it would certainly be him. Here we trust each other with TWI stuff, some daily understanding and learning, maybe a peek of private. We learn what works for us, specifically, and what doesn't, but we get to choose.

Yes, Bramble, and therein lies the good part of it all. The not knowing offers a certain amount of comfort and convenience whatever the situation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0

I totally get it, but then I'm a mom of daughters. One puts everything ~! ~! ~! on her facebook, myspace, twitter, etc and so on. The other one doesn't even own a cellphone, have a myspace or facebook page, thankfully. The article didn't surprise me. How uncool to tell the story on facebook later after all the drama was done, better to get the OMG's right away while they can enjoy it. Personally, I'd take the device, and equip them, instead, with a simple 911 phone, but I'm sure these girls are continuing to tell their dramatic tales on facebook and everywhere.

:) I remember those first's. Felt weird for about 2 seconds then not so much. Doing things YOU want to do for a change, when YOU want to do them, amazingly wonderful.

I've missed you too ~! How are things? We really need to catch up, huh?

LOL Watered Garden, it's past tense for poop but we can't say shi...poop here. HA! www.shellonnorth.com