Watered Garden

Here's a thought, though not necessarily a brilliant one. Probably I'm just rationalizing. Let me begin by saying that I didn't have and therefore didn't keep copies of anything other than the books which we had purchased. We didn't leave until about 10 years post-fog. However, I can understand someone in that time frame keeping tapes. I don't consider myself eligible to judge that action. Y'see, we were PROMISED on that sacred green card, that after we had paid for and completed each PFAL class the first time, we could sit through that class as many times thereafter as we liked, free of charge. Then the great and mighty MOGFODAT declares these folks are no longer permitted that "privilege" so an individual who has just completed running a PFAL thinks, "Well, heck, I'll just keep the ones I've got and run it for grads free, and maybe others, too" I could understand that. I don't think people "in the field" who had faithfully stood with TWI and sacrificed and spent every vacation they ever took for YEARS going to Ohio or Rome City or Gunnison or wherever to serve, usually working their rear ends off performing some menial task, donated money for gifts for the Powers that Were, FELT like they were betrayed, THEY WERE betrayed. In many ways. And I think at that point, they couldn't necessarily see that they weren't serving God they were serving a pseudo-godly bunch of people who had only their own best interests at heart, not the people they "led,"and especially at that point, headed by a man who seemed to think he himself was the second coming of Christ. My husband was University of Life, which was not cheap. He only had one set of class tapes, which he had purchased and which were his to keep. But when he was kicked out of U of L for the heinous sin of being in debt, at least partly because of my diabetes, he was commanded to send the tape set back. Were they going to send him back his money? Of course not. We kept them anyway. He had been told when he signed up for U of L and paid for the first class that the tapes were his to keep. He told me after a while, after the pain wore off and the healing began, that I could listen to them or do with them as I wished. I didn't listen to them, not out of any sense of it being wrong, but because I couldn't bear to hear VPW's voice. I threw them out a few years ago, to make room in my closet for something more important. WG

Shifra said: " To go to the hospital for birth is like to go to the hospital for love-making. " I think that's a GSC classic! I have known this in myself for some time, but have only this moment verbalized it. As badly as we wanted a child, I know that I was so absolutely terrified of the birth process that I just couldn't retain a pregnancy. Never made it past the second missed cycle. There were a few medical problems that were taken care of by surgery, but the real cause of infertility was my fear of submitting a less than perfect performance as I gave birth. The other factor was living in a small university town in Ohio, where midwives AND THEIR PATIENTS were actually persecuted. This has happened in many states. I remember one woman who in fact I think lived in Ohio at the time who chose home birth. There were complications, she was taken to the local ER and made to wait (she couldn't deliver the placenta) an inordinate amount of time once she revealed the home birth. I suspect the real reason allopaths etc don't like home birth is economic. WG

RAF: HB from WG!!!! (can't post all those cool things, but I sure am wishing you a happy BD! WG

Rascal - that is NOT the way teaching hospitals are supposed to operate! I've never given birth, but my mom's experience with me was similar. She told me about it and said she wouldn't have been surpised if the window washer had dropped by for a look! I'm NOT defending teaching hospitals in general, but hopefully they are not all like that. We had patients where I last worked who wanted nothing to do with the residents. It was so noted on the chart, and those patients saw the attending physician only. Also had a funny experience with a little old lady who told a chief resident, an odious and odorous fellow as I recall, that she would rather die than have him do a pelvic on her - and he dictated it into the note! Three cheers for the little old lady! Stand up for your rights, women! Of course, she wasn't about to give birth. Those interns, students, residents, and their attending who did that to Rascal should be circumcised with a dully rusty penknife! WG

My son called back. She was at day care; the grandson had thrown mulch at one of the other parents and is in deep trouble. Another nail in his coffin. I am sure she and her mother will have him drugged within an inch of his life as soon as they find a doctor with less integrity. She told my son she "is going to" get him put on her insurance. she will call him back. I told him what NOT to tell her, namely that I am getting a job to help pay for this dental work, or that I would am extremely angry. I want him to ask her what progress has she made? Has she asked her boss (who runs the ice cream stand downstairs from her apt. and NOT hard to get ahold of. Does she have them and hasn't filled them out? Has she filled them out and is waiting to hear? I doubt she has even asked for them. It would be so much easier to let him get an abcess later than spend ten minutes filling out the f-ing forms now. He's in pain, he's not eating well. I just don't know what to do. I am so amazed. I worked full time most of the time my son was growing up. I traveled to and from work, came home, cooked home cooked meals, cleaned the house and had time for twig. She works part time, her apartment is messy, and she eats fast food most of the time. And she doesn't have time to see to her son's dental care? GIVE ME A BREAK! WG

I've never met her, but I know what her function is, to make sure the grandson is properly represented. I would expect her to be fair and honest. I would approach it from the angle that there is this problem and maybe she has some insight or suggestions on where to find assistance. I probably wouldn't tell her about my other concerns, lest I be accused of moral pontificating. My other resource would be his pediatrician, who is a niece-in-law of mine and a smart cookie. I did call my son and mention to him my concerns, which are also his. He is going to call her. We'll see. WG

Thanks so much, guys. I am sure there is help out there to be had. The FDIL is NOT reluctant to go on Medicaid, she left without completing the paperwork because she had an appointment to get her hair done! She is always meticulously groomed, and not cheaply, either. My grandson has had NO new clothes this summer in spite of the increase in child support she gets. We bought him sandals which he wears every single day. She may not want social services to know he still sleeps with her or that she has two other people living with her in a 2 bedroom apartment, excluding the occasional "gentleman friend". I think if she doesn't put him on her available insurance, I am going to call the guardian ad litem, whose sole interest is supposedly grandson's welfare. I can be confident of my son's support. He would love to get custody some day, but that is like pulling hen's teeth. Rocky I especially appreciate your insight. WG

Pond, I nice thing to do for the grands, which we have done for ours, is a 529 account. I don't know that they are called that in your neck of the woods, but I think every state has one. It is a savings account specifically for college. Anyone can contribute to it once it is properly set up, either as a one time gift or as a payroll deduction. We have been putting in $40/month for 1 1/2 years and it is already up to $3000. It gathers interest. If the child reaches college age and decides not to go, you can cash it in for 10% fee and go on one heckuva vacation. WG (PS thanks for the prayer)

I will but not right away. I have to go shopping for clothes to wear to job interviews and get my Zyrtec refilled so I don't sneeze in the middle of one! I am gonig to try to get my son to talk to her tomorrow when he picks up his son for the weekend. I didn't really want to enter the part time old fart job market just yet, but I feel she leaves me no choice. Even if she does get him dental insurance, there will be a copay and she won't want to be bothered with that. I am really, really pi$$ed off at this young woman. Pray I don't say anything that will make matters worse. WG

The county where she lives is pretty assidulous about taking care of its kids, especially since errors are always brought to glaring light by the press. It is one of the fastest growing counties in Ohio. Also she herself has involved the courts from time to time, since she only works part time and wants more child support and less involvement with anyone else. She lives in a nice two bedroom apartment. Originally it was her and her sister. She can't afford $600/month rent by herself. The sister moved in with her boyfriend. Her mamma moved in. The child at age 4 sleeps in a king sized bed with her. She met some guy on a phone dating service called Lava Line. He lived in IL, she had him come over to OH and live with her, her mother and my grandson for two weeks. Since the second bedroom belongs to her mother, God knows where the little guy slept while he was there. He used her car while he lived there, and apparently proved to be not so nice and she asked him to leave and he moved on to another state. Then she dated a foreign guy from the Middle East. I don't know that he lived there but he sure seemed to know his way around the apt. Her mom, by the way, doesn't much like me and thinks I am a stick-in-the-mud. Right now, the sister is taking a hiatus from her stud, so she moved in. They moved the mother in with the FDIL and grandson so sister can have her own room. The $900 crib that makes into a day bed and then a full size bed ithat we gave them when they were married has been taken apart and shoved in the closet. I offered to store it, since he obviously is never going to use it and sleeps with his head on mommie's bosom at age 4, which I have been told by sociial workers is considered incestous whether any overt activity is happening or not. She won't give it up. This shocks the he11 out of me. I am admittedly old, stodgy, not with-it, and go to church (gasp!) but if I had so much as held hands with some guy in front of MY mom, I would have heard about it. And did. And this chick moves some guy she doesn't even really know in with her and that's fine with her mother. It scares the he11 out of me. Some handsome, sexy stud who was a serial killer or rapist , or God forbid, a pedophile, could move right in with her. I don't think the county would do anything about it, either. As long as my grandson is not beaten within an inch or his life, raped, or worse, she is the mamma and can do as she pleases. I really don't give a rat's nose if Medicaid would cover his dental work. She CAN get insurance to cover it, but doesn't WANT to pay the money to do it, and considersdit a great inconvenience brought upon her by me, the interfering former mother-in-law. But we have spent a LOT of money taking care of things for our grandchild that she won't or can't. And if I act on any or at least much of this, I will lose him forever. WG

The FDIL comes from one of the most dysfunctional families I have ever seen. I don't want to go into it here. She has a 19-year-old brother who has NEVER been to a dentist. She did drink some milk and take prenatal vitamins when she was pregnant, but she doesn't like much except fast food. She laughs at me because I make home cooked meals all the time. She needed a root canal when she was 20 and has never gotten it. The dental folks at OSU said his dental disease was caused by poor diet, lots of sugar, and poor hygiene. He is to drink nothing but white milk and tap water. So the next day he has a big bottle of grape juice, a candy bar, some fruit bit (jelly) type things and sweeted applesauce in his lunch. I had picked him up, and I threw it out, and called her - that was all she had and I guess it was inconvenient to run to the grocery. He has never liked to drink water. We kept him Saturday and Sunday last weekend, and of course I, being a tight-lipped, straight-laced, rule-obeying, tight-a$$ (in her view) gave him white milk and mostly water. He drank the whole glass of water and was praised to the skies. But I majorly doubt he gets it at home. Y-all, he was on Medicaid last year. She needed to reapply in January of this year but "didn't have the time" to go fill out the damn forms. I suspect last week she didn't finish filling out the forms because she had a hair appointment at the salon where her mom works. Much more important to get your hair dyed some new color when you are bored with being a blonde. She didn't used to be like this. When he was a baby, she was afraid to leave him with me, because I hadn't handled a baby in many years. She was very solicitious. But she has discovered the party life, and has different men staying over on a short term basis. I guess her priorities have changed. I am so appreciative of your advice. He does have a guardian ad litem from the days when she was suing for sole custody and never to let my son see his child, which she didn't for over a yaer. I am going to get my son to ask her about the insurance papers she allegedly was filing to put him on her insurance, and if she has not, I think he and I will get in touch with the G.A.L. I cannot imagine having a child in pain and saying "NO WAY am I paying for that!" My son has a hearing the end of this month regarding his child support. IF he makes it through this one I am probably not going to be as meek and humble around this young woman. If he doesn't make it through, I will have to be nice as this is the only way I will see my grandson. She has total control. I suspect she has played us for some time. Her sweetness started to melt once I retired and didn't have as much money. She is getting regular child support now and won't spend a dime of it on her son. She is getting over $400 a month more than she was and of course she only works part time. We have been between a rock and a hard place with this young woman for a while now. Her mom moved in with her and they are both big time partiers. The baby needs to be with his dad IMO. Dad is working, has a lovely fiancee who adores the little guy and vice versa. Oh and Pond, my husband teaches, and he has seen kids who live with their grandparents sent right back to mom after she gets out of prison for selling drugs. I want my son to have at least joint custody, but I doubt the mom lets it happen without a fight. The child is her trump card to get what she wants. He is eligible for Medicaid, but it is a hassle to fill out the papers, according to her. WG Thanks again, WG

Okay let me try this again. At my request my former daughter in law and I took my grandson to the pediatric dental clinic. He is 4 years old with 10+ cavities and needs over $2000 worth of fillings (price includes general anesthesia. F-D-I-L says no way she can afford that. She doesn't want the hassle of signing him up for Medicaid and may or may not decide to get him on her insurance for dental. She simply stated "No way am I paying for that!" The chlid's teeth are painful to him. There are certain foods he doesnt' want to chew. I am actually going to get a part time job so I can pay for his care in case she simply blows this off. She doesn't seem to much care, except that my bugging her about it is an irritant. My son would love to help but has lots of bills to pay. My question is: First of all, is it common to just let baby teeth go like this? My parents dragged me to the dentist all the time, but I was an only child and perhaps somewhat cossetted. Second, if this young woman continues to neglect her son's dental distress, do we have any legal recourse? My understanding of Ohio law is that as long as he has a roof over his head, clothes to wear and food to eat, that is all that matters normally. However, if there is illness involved and she deliberately neglects that, it can be a matter for CPS to investigate. When I worked at the cancer hospital, there was a mom who didn't want her small child treated for cancer as she would have to have him there at 7 am and she liked to sleep until at least 11 am. We called CPS and she changed her mind quickly. Thanks for any and all suggestions and advice. WG

Kind of decided not to post this. Don't know how to erase the whole thread thing. Sorry. WG

I bet that big shepherd dog never chases HIM again!

Catcup - that was wonderful. Acts in Action! WG

I have am bivalent feelings about grocery shopping. There is a local chain called Buehler's I always loved, everything fresh and not too pricy. One of my relatives still shops there and called it therapy. However, since we moved, it's too far away. So we go to another local market, almos t as far away but much cheaper and also with fresh veggies, fruits, and a really nice meat counter. Also the small grocery in our tiny town has good deals on chicken and meat sometimes. For paper goods and cleaning supplies we go to CostCo. Gotta watch every penny now that one of us is retired. Takes a lot of the fun out of it, if there was any to begin with. I make a strict list and menu and take it along. Spouse grabs a cart and runs through the aisles. I select items from the list an d menu, and throw into the cart whatever I can if I can catch up with him, and that is that. WG

The first year my husband and I were married, there was a strike at Ohio University by the municipal workers' union. This meant that the cafeterias at the campus were closed. Several students were fellowshipping with us, so my husband and I organized the married folk and those who had their own apartments, to pitch in and feed them. Several nights a week we had the whole twig over for a pitch-in supper. We "ate bread from house to house" with gladness and thanksgiving, and it was fellowship in the truest sense of the word. Then, the snotty little interim WC branch coordinator found out about it, and it came to a screeching halt because, according to him, we were not "moving the Word" and there was no "outreach." Too bad he wasn't around during the time of the Book of Acts. He could have set those apostles, like Peter, John, James, and later Paul, straight. We had a lot of great times at 2Life & husband's house too, including a toga party she still has pictures of. WG

I felt like the two times I did it we should have been called 'Bother Patrol." I mean, I could see the reasons for having someone walking around in a semi-purposeful manner at night in case some townies wanted to do something inappropriate, but to have to check the floss chart, etc., was just bothersome to me and to the potentiially, but blissfully snoring, unflossed. WG

Well we actually got a good bit of rain the past couple of days. I went out and picked about a dozen Romas and a few smaller round ones, Better Boys I think. I have not been impressed with the Better Boys this year, but then they were hard to find at the nurseries. My Celebrities are looking better, and I think I have an heirloom tomato, a Mr. Stripy, that's going to do all right. My grandson eats tomatoes like candy! I think I am going to get all the green tomatoes off the plant that was attacked by hornworms and let them ripen in the kitchen, then pull the plant out, as it isn't looking too good. But things are looking up in Garden's garden! WG

I always ask my doctor when he prescribes a new med if generic is available, and if so, what he thinks of it. He's a pretty smart guy. Back in the day, when I was taking a hormone drug to try to get pregnant, I was told NOT to accept a generic because it wouldn't work as well. I've also taken on one occasion a popular generic muscle relaxant that didn't work at all. As far as generic foods, it's strictly hit and miss. Some are fine, some I wouldn't feed to the groundhogs in the back 2 acres. WG

In Charleston, SC, we lived for a few years in a snooty, upscale subdivision. The woman across the street and down one house took an intense dislike to our dogs, who as a general rule minded their own business, but the big boy, Brandy, had in fact once "claimed his territory" on her shrubbery before I retrieved him. If she saw us out in the front yard with our dogs she would come over and scream and complain that they were ruining her yard, when they weren't even on her side of the street. One day while we were at work, "someone" opened the back door to our garage, where Brandy and our other dog, Haifa, resided. The "someone" then called the dog catcher, gave our address as hers, and stated there were two stray dogs hanging around her house and would he please come get them. Now my dogs don't normally wear collars at home because they wear a collar ring in the fur around their necks, so Brandy and Haifa were naked. So they did look like stray dogs. I know all this because that very evening the dog catcher came back to report the incident to me, and learn if he had made a mistake in leaving them. When he pulled up, they were both lying on the front porch. Brandy, being a friendly sort, came down to greet him with tail wagging. Haifa, being rather shy, simply ran around the back and went back into the garage. The catcher figured it out, and put Brandy back in the garage with her, then shut and locked the door. The next morning, Brandy marched straight over to the woman's front yard and "claimed his territory" again, only in a much more obvious manner. My husband stood and watched and laughed. The woman never spoke to me again, and I made a point of locking the doors so she couldn't repeat her performance. Crimes against pets and children are just the cruelest. WG

I've never had a cat, but my Labrador retriever, Sophie, can tell when I'm sick or upset. After 9/11 when we couldn't contact our son, I was very upset, and she always came over, grunting in distress, pushed me over with her front paws and curled around me, much as a mother dog will curl around her pups. She did that with my husband a lot too. She's 14 now, and won't be around much longer. I sure hope she's waiting for me when I get wherever I'm going next. WG

I only did it twice and neither time was I told to make the unflossed serve the flossed in that manner. The first time I did it with a guy who actually wrote down the names of the unflossed, gently tapped on their door and asked them, then checked them off. The second time was with a legalistic little WC 19th lady who made sure everything and everybody was decent and in order. I think she actually woke up the unflossed and made them go check their names off. I should have gotten there first. Hey, I can appreciate the benefits of nightly flossing. However, I think anyone waiting until midnight or later to ask me had I flossed would have deserved a knuckle sandiwch - floss after eating THIS! Of course little wuss that I was, I would have figured God would tell the Great Rev WC if I lied about flossing, and I'd get struck by lightning in the lunchroom or something. So, Shifra, I'm not much help. I thought the whole floss chart was pretty ridiculous. I'm pretty sure people lied and got away with it. And No JohnIAm no one did a gum exam on the potentially unflossed to make sure they didn't bleed. I'm surprised, though. WG

YIPPEE! I have spent more than a week in a hospital all hooked up to stuff! It sucks! Glad you are going home where you can heal. Love ya's, WG

Oh indeedy we were required to floss. After proper instruction by a FWC19 who had been a dental hygienist in a previous life the lists went up and we had to floss each night before beddy-bye and be sure to check our names off. For bless patrol, I was paired both times with a 19th, so could not do what I wanted to do, which was just check the list and check off anybody who hadn't checked themselves. I was absolutely outraged by this invasion of privacy. I also didn't like having my room inspected, including in the drawers to make sure the clothing was properly stored therein. Our shifts begane at 11:30 PM and ended at I think about 5:00 AM, maybe 4:00 AM. At any rate, we got enough time to go lie down on our bed and drift off to sleep before presenting ourselves, brighteyed, bushy-tailed and fresh as a daisy at breakfast. There was no excuse for it. Sleep deprivation doesn't make you a stronger believer, it just makes you crazy and tired. WG