Watered Garden

Actually, Mr. Garden and I had purchased a desk/work center for my new home business and this was the perfect opportunity for him to put it together. So it wasn't without benefit. I'm baking bread and the house smells so good. Actually, days like this remind me of my grandmother's house when I was a kid, except I just read instead of parking in front of the TV. She'd bake bread, my grandfather would skewer three chickens together and roast them, and we would eat them with gravy, mashed potatoes dripping with real butter, green beans, and something like pie or cake with ice cream for dessert. And that bread! The recipe is buried with my grandmother. She never really measured, just a little pan with a broken-off handle that she used for a flour scoop, then a handful of this, a dash of that....and she would rub the crust with a stick of butter the minute it came out of the oven. I always got the first slice, buttered and sugared. Those were the days........ WG

Waysider was no weakling; neither was I. We were doing the best we could. Toughen up? I thought God's people were to be tender and kindhearted. Who said we needed to toughen up? Someone who doesn't know beans from barium would be my guess. WG

We have a country porch that wraps around one side of the house and we have put bird seed out all along the rail. There are many very interesting birds that have suddenly become our best friends, finches, cardianls, some little sparrowy things. Last year a robin froze to death in one of my flower beds. I felt so bad for it. In Athens in 1978 we were very fortunate to have the hills to protect us so it was not so bad. Still, we lived in a little apartment on top of a hll and had to climb the icy hill when we couldn't get the car up. It was quite a mess for a week or so. According to Storm Team 4, this will be much better than that and we will be happily motoring around again by Monday, at least in Columbus. WG

For once, the weather folks got it right, and we have about 14 inches of snow with more coming, all day long. We don't have a 4 wheel drive vehicle right now, which doesn't really matter since we can't see the driveway. It is kinda fun. At least we didn't have to work today! People are reminiscing on TV about the Blizzard of 1978 here in Ohio. We were newlyweds in Athens, Ohio, and it was a mess! The wind speed here today does not quite qualify us for blizzard status, but there is a pile of snow on the ground, more in the air, and more coming. Anyone else remember the blizzard of '78? Or noticing a lot of snow now? WG

I went into FLO because I wanted to learn to serve and love God better, learn more about the Bible, and grow in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I was a pretty sassy little thing when I got there. My first house coordinator made it her business to "break me" whatever she meant by that. The second year definitely broke my heart. Mr. Garden and I went into FWC for much the same reasons, also thinking it would help our son to live in a more structured environment than two working parents could maybe provide. It broke all our hearts. You talk about toughening up? I beat that kid with every wooden spoon I owned, broke most of them on his hard little behind. It hardened his heart to be absolutely determined to do anything he could to get out of there. Why you ask? I was FORCED TO that's why. Children were to listen attentively, remember accurately and obey without question the first time every time. There was no margin for individuality. There was NO SUCH thing as ADHD. Only the rod of correction to drive out the devil spirits and force the child to submit. I never ate a meal there with children present where at least one child did not get dragged out and beaten severely. Sometimes they were taken outside so their screams would not disrupt the meal too much. Frequently, the poor kid just needed a break or a nap. Only children below kindergarten level were allowed to nap. My grandson is now 5 and he needs a nap sometimes. If you dared to want your child's individual needs given some individual attention, you were ruthlessly squashed. Your children were basically taken away from you and raised by strangers who IMO DID NOT LOVE THEM or care anything about them other than to force them into the mold of a silent wraith, walking the halls quietly in his place in the line, never daring to touch the stair rail or the wall for fear of being smitten with the ever present spoon. Some of these kids were tiny. One mother weaned her 13 month old son and put shoes on his feet the day she arrived - BOOM - no warning, just no comforting mother's breast, a stranger who could not nurse him and didn't understand the pain in his feet as well as his heart made him cry. #2. Did I see myself as a "victim getting victimized?" NO NO NO! I saw myself as a sinner who was not worthy of the privilege of serving with God's finest men and women - those who ran these programs. I saw myself as being weighed in the balance and found wanting. I saw myself as needing to become a better wife, mother, and woman of God. I saw myself as someone in danger of losing her salvation, of being a total failure, if I did not measure up to standards of FWC and especially if I could not get my son to measure up. #3, Sweep under the rug what we went through? The wrong teachings? The evil doctrines that were inculcated into our innocent seeking hearts and minds, who wanted only to serve and love God and instead were trained up to serve a self-serving counterfeit? Nope. I'll be more than happy to discuss FLO, FWC, the errors and the results as long anyone wants to read or listen. WG AND ONE MORE THING.... If any of you innies who have kids read this: This is not the right way nor the normal way to raise your children. They are more likely to become the loving, God-respecting, happy kids who obey their parents in the Lord if you raise them according to common sense and real genuine love and kindness and let them participate in school activities and play sports and stuff than if you are always beating on them and telling them to 'LISTEN REMEMBER OBEY'. Don't listen to your leadership about raising your children. Listen to your heart. Or take them to court and terminate your parental rights and let them be adopted by someone who loves them, so you can "serve the ministry that taught you the word and put God first instead of your kids." Yep. That was suggested to me in a different situation. WG

Mark, I first spoke in tongues in a Catholic church. I was on my knees in front of a statue of the Virgin. I have family who are Catholic. They don't believe exactly the way I do, but they love the Lord. If I have ever made any allusions that hurt you I apologize. WG

Sushi, Where did you find that picture? It's hilarious! WG

So, since I wasn't physically present at the crucifixion of Jesus or the resurrection, I guess I should say He was ALLEGEDLY crucified and ALLEGEDLY raised from the dead? WG

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'll take a crack at it. I think for me at least, the fact that TWI leadership did not admit, when caught out, that the individuals who abused, be it sexual, mental, emotional, or physical, were wrong, is the big difference. I do acknowledge other organizations, be they churches, clubs, whatever, tried to keep abusive incidents quiet if someone filed suit, complained, whatever, and I agree that's not right. However, because "the Catholic church did such and such and so did TWI, so why are you picking on TWI?" is a deceptive question that drags a red herring across the trail of an honest inquiry. Here's something of an answer: Well, because two wrongs don't make a right. Because the RC church never impacted me personally. TWI did. If I had been a devout Catholic who was exposed to the sexual deviance of a priest I would be just as mad, hurt, shocked, horrified and pi$$ed off. But no priest of the RC church ever told me to choose between God's One True Ministry and my husband. No pope ever suggested to us we take our son out and beat him to death. No Pope ever behaved seductively toward me in a motel room. And as far as walking away: Anyone who thinks we could have, after years of classes, perhaps graduation from the Way Corps or a Fellow Laborers program or WOW or whatever, simply said, "Thanks but no thanks. I qut." and walked away without repercussions, without fear, without thinking that our lives were about to end, that we would become possessed, suffer physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and die a horrible death, doesn't know JACK dang about the human mind and how it works. Brainwashing is a perversion of the thinking processes, the ability to reason, the ability to choose. For several years after I was out, I defended TWI to all critics, including my own family. I was convinced that it was I who was wrong. In spite of the clarity with which I see now, then I just knew if I had had the courage to abandon our son, everything would have been okay. A day after we left TWI, I told my 14-year-old son, "I am going to die now and it's all your fault." I just knew that if he had knuckled under and been a good little Way-Bot, that my diabetes would have healed and everything would be lovely. I was convinced that if it wasn't for his rebellion and disobedience we would still be good little Wayfers. What I realized later was we were to be gotten rid of by any means available, as were so many who had been involved with TWI during the pre-Martindalian times, because we were considered "old wineskins" which could not hold the robust new wine of the present truth of Martindale's ministry. He sent his minions on a mission of destruction to weed out the old faithful standing believers and replace us with Martinclones. What church does that? Is that the norm for Baptists, Methodists, even catholics? I think not. WG

Rascal, Looking back on that incident, at first I felt stupid. When I came to WayDale and then to Greasespot, I adamantly defended VPW. I didn't believe the others' accounts for one minute, UNTIL someone wrote of him rubbing her back, telling he how special she was, how much he wanted to help her, and it was almost word for word! I will probably never be able to convey my regret at what must have seemed like hardheartedness, but in truth, I was just playing Cleopatra - Queen of Denial. I mean, this guy was about 58 years old! Honestly, If anyone ever tried something like that with MY daughter (if I had one) it would be Galatians 5:12, KJV for him. WG

I can't imagine that Billy Graham and VPW ever even met. Oh here's a good one: One time VPW visited a mental hospital. Of course, we all know that mental illnesses are caused by devil spirit possession. So these possessed people would see the Man of God, run screaming toward him, and just bounce off an invisible force field about 6 feet all the way around VPW. They would fall to the ground and crawl away in defeat because of his great believing. Oh and here's another good one: VPW said his mind was so renewed to the accuracy and integrity of God's Wonder Matchless Word that he could for days and days without sinning or breaking fellowship with God. WG

Rascal, you ask "What is the norm?" When I was a WOW and VPW came to town, he stayed in a motel room and Ted F. stayed next door. My WOW sister was 4th WC and spent some time at the motel with VPW and I was to pick her up at a certain time, which I did. VP sent her next door with Ted and talked to me one on one. He didn't make any overt sexual overtures at all. He was only wearing pajama bottoms, but they were well fastened. He did get me to lie on the bed and he rubbed my back and told me I needed to have more confidence and invited me to apply for the Corps and all. (This was modus operandi for him but of course I didn't know it then - he was the same age as my dad). Is this the norm? Was he indeed counseling a mere child of God in a Father-in-the-Word manner? Here's how I figured it out: I attended a church for several years, one of whose pastors was about the same age VPW was then. I tried to picture in my mind Pastor X counseling a young single woman in a motel room lying on a bed with no one else in the room and him wearing only his pajama bottoms. I knew for an absolute certainty that this good man would NEVER NEVER NEVER dream of doing such a thing! He counsels people in his office, with a third party present if it's a woman, and he is likely as not wearing a suit! THAT is the norm. The Bible says to avoid even the appearance of evil. That includes everyone who has confessed Christ as their Lord, minister, choir director, MOGFODAT, king. This stuff was used to build the myth of the specialness, the uniqueness of the MOGFODAT. It's kinda like gilding a turd with melted gold. It may look special, but it's still .... and it still stinks. WG

There was NOTHING normal about our TWI experience, IMO. My out-of-TWI experiences have been similar to yours. We left a church because of some major differences between where they were heading and where we wanted to go. A little sadness, no hard feelings, still see some of these folks and love every one of them. People come and go at our present church. We love them and pray for them and chat when we run into one another. No recriminations. No condemnation. NO M&A. Another point I'd like to address is questions. I am one who wants to learn the truth and not from any VP clone or worshipper. Therefore, if there's a Sunday School class and I have questions I ask them. If the first answer doesn't settle the question, I ask another one. I can be borderline obnoxious about it. I have assured my pastor that I am not trying to start an argument but just need clarification. He thinks I am a good student. A bit different from "you don't need any answers. Just speak in tongues." Or "Who are YOU that YOU would question the man of God?" Or "It is impossible to obey God without first obeying your leadership." This pastor has said three words, more than once, that have earned him my respect. Guess what they are? "I don't know." He doesn't know everything. I love that. When did you hear either MOG I or MOG II admit they didn't know? When we left TWI I felt terrible anxiety and fear. I was convinced God was going to smite me dead because a little ant said it was impossible to exist outside the household of faith. Contrast this: I ran into a woman who used to attend our church (with her husband). I mentioned I hadn't seen them for a while. Turns out they just wanted more formal and traditional worship and we usually do a contemporary service. They weren't angry, it was a difference in taste. We still love them. They still love us. Imagine me sticking my nose up in the air and turning my back on her. How would that glorify God Who wants us to be all one body? Love is normal, IMO. Kindness is normal. Judgment and condemnation are not supposed to be a part of the Body. To paraphrase Paul Simon, "When I look back on all the crap I learned in TWI, it's a wonder I can think at all." WG

Oh and I forgot, the L&K where those of us who could stopped for a real breakfast on the way to work has changed identities a few times also. That was the one time in my life when I could pretty much eat what I wanted and not gain weight. The food we ate was organically grown, extremely healthful and highly nutritious, but there just wasn't enough of it. One poor fellow used to beg for seconds and thirds, and even occasionally go around to different tables toward the end of the meal, almost literally begging. I think he worked in the stove factory. Between the sleep deprivation, lack of adequate nutrition, hard work, lack of medical attention, and depressing incidents, it's a wonder any of us survived. WG

Is he serious? Lest we forget, VPW smoked Kool Shorties and drank Drambuie. WG

I remember the times our oh so beloved legalistic BC overslept. By the way he was a napper too, according to Mr. Garden, who was the house coordinator where he snoozed away, and took he also 30 minute showers. R.H.I.P., I guess. My first house coordinator limited us to 5 minute showers, only if we had long hair and needed 2 extra minutes to shampoo it. I drove the 20 miles, too. Then back to Limb to a scrumptuous meal of wilted mustard greens. The Friendly's closed a few years ago, The Wayside is now a Marathon (but with Crispy Creme doughnuts) and the Wagon Wheel has undergone several metamorphoses. Me, I just sleep under the mohair throw, a few miles east of those apartments. Oh, yeah, forget the morning run - there's a Grace Brethren church where the cow pasture used to be. With a cross on it. Delicious irony. WG

Kind of bumping this up instead of starting a new thread on "sleep deprivation." It's pretty well accepted and known throughout the world that sleep deprivation is a form of torture. After three days and nights of sleep deprivation, hallucinations set in followed by psychosis, eventually by acquiescence. Now in FLO we were to sleep from 12:00 AM to 5:00 am, a grand total of 5 hours of sleep. However, in 1974 when I was in WOW training, the eminent physician/psychologist/MOG HRA informed us that the human body requires a maximum, mind you not a minimum but A MAXIMUM of 4 hours sleep out of every 24 hour period. I actually heard a woman 6th WC grad teach this as part of the Prov 31 virtuous woman thing, many years later. I've heard other non-TWI women teach on this regarding the potential slothfulness of a Christian woman who sleeps in really late, lolling in bed until around 5:30 AM! For years I have felt great guilt at my slothfulness. It started on the WOW field, although my WC WOW sister assured me with much scorn that HRA himself got far more than 4 hours sleep out of every 24 hour period. Continued throughout FLO, to WA where I heard the aforementioned woman teach, then on to my present church after hearing a woman teach on being a woman after God's own heart until last Sunday, where our young associate pastor taught on "rest." He strongly encouraged those of us who were yawning in the congregation to go home and enjoy a GUILT FREE NAP. I did so. I enjoyed it immensely. Mr. Garden, who takes a completely guilt-free nap whenever he feels like it, rejoiced at his rested, grump-and-guilt-free wife. Yes, I am free from guilt at napping. I now snuggle down in the big lounge chair underneath my grandmother's Scottish mohair "throw," its fuzzy shagginess more comforting than anything I know other than angel's whisper, warm and soft, and in the resultant peaceful environment, snooze away. But I wonder, do others remember that guilt heaped upon us. Waysider and I have reminisced about the shock of being ripped from our warm beds and forced to hurriedly dress and drive 25 or so miles to the outer limits of Ohio countryside to be ranted at by a napoleonic madman over nothing, dismissed from the program as having been weighed in the balance and found wanting, only to be reinstated after sufficient humiliation had been heaped upon our exhausted and unsuspecting souls. I remember hearing of some hapless 4th WC guy who got so sleep deprived he dozed off during a run and fell into a ditch. I remember hearing of my former WOW brother E.O., who during the 7th WC crawled into a fresh hole he had dug for tree planting, and had a nap safely hidden away until time came to plant the tree, when he was fortunately discovered before being buried alive underneath a sapling. Was this a side effect of a rigorous program, or a deliberate attempt at torture to brainwashing? In my second year of FLO I sort of suspected the latter but I was too tired to do anyting about it and I just wanted to graduate and marry Mr. Garden. WG

Probably the answer should have been "not one more milimicron of a nanosecond". What a piece of work he was. So sorry y'all had to go through that. WG

God bless you, Dot. Sophie and I will miss you. You are an absolute treasure. WG

IF this guy was still alive, he could be writing scripts for "24". WG

I remember the name - who wouldn't? I vaguely remember the conspiracy theory around the Jonestown massacre and it having something to do with some international dustup. I sort of filed it away in the same file as the TWI exposing WaterGate and the Pope's aircraft carrier. Jonestown WAS weird, I'll give you that. Did anyone ever find the leader's body? Had he shot himself or was he MIA? I definitely don't think he drank the Kool-Aid. WG

White Dove, I absolute did not mean to touch on any nerve or to generalize. When I lived in Charleston I worked at St. Francis Xavier Hospital which at that time was run by the Sisters of our Lady of Charity and Mercy and they were the kindest people on earth. I just thought a black cross was a little harsh. Perhaps it was in her culture or an important part of Church Doctrine, I don't know. Maybe it was indeed all she had. I just thought a little brighter memorial might have helped the kiddies. From the boy's age, he had already made his First Communion and would have been going to heaven, I would imagine. WG

I voted. my voter name is Sophie Maxx, the names of my two fur people (one is gone but the other remains). WG

Just really something she would want to remember all her life. Too bad the nun didn't have much of a heart. Flowers would have been wonderful, maybe with an object that represents his interests in life, i.e. a baseball or soccer ball, or musical instrument or something. How sad for the children. My son is all grown, sort of, and I still pray for him and concern myself with him every day. WG

I'm really aware it's not healthy behavior, but I haven't gotten to the point I know how I should handle it. Several years of being told you are always, without exception, wrong, wrong, wrong and you simply must obey to the best of your ability (which is never enough) took their toll. I expect some day I'll learn how to handle being screamed at but until then I just tend to walk away. WG