Watered Garden

Well, Sky, I'm sure a lot of them are, if not all. There was a time when I would've considered it; comfortable old shoes, even if they are leaky and pinch your small toes, are still comfortable old familiar shoes. I expect for some people, especially those who were leadership in TWI, getting out there in the big bad world was scary as could be. Now, I wouldn't touch a splinter with a ten foot pair of tweezers. They are just the same-old same-old in a different package. WG

As long as it didn't open any avenues for accusations against GSers or especially Paw et al of slander.....I for one want to stay out of this one from now on. I have always told the truth on this website, but I sure as God made little green apples don't want anyone who wronged me to know who I am from my posts. There's no profit in that, especially since they were so sure of their own righteousness. I think a can of worms has just been opened. WG

A direct quotation from the article: "The couple is sympathetic to people in debt, realizing American culture teaches and encourages it. They understand that medical conditions and unexpected setbacks happen and are not necessarily anyone's fault. The goal of the ministry, Gary said, is to make people aware of the conditionings that can financially imprison them and the liberation of living a different life." Well golly sixty! So if some hapless soul in their fellowship is diagnosed with cancer, they would never dream of asking "Do you understand what it is THAT YOU DID that caused this to happen to you?" If someone's paid for ancient vehicle falls apart, they are not going to be REPROVED FOR NOT BELIEVING FOR ITS HEALTH? Oh, look! A flying pig! WG

At the ROA 1995 every active WC on the field was put on staff and sent home to interrogate each of their subjects regarding every intimate detail of their lives. They of course had no access to our bank accounts, but they did know we had flown to Ohio when "everyone else" drove their cars for a four to five day trip. They demanded to know how we could afford it. Well, the answer was simple: We had a very very good credit rating and we put it on a credit card. We weren't a LOT in debt; this was a year after we had paid off my hospital bills (the fact that I even had hospital bills was strong evidence for spiritual weakness and unbelief). But the new region coordinator/limb coordinator, Rev. RS, was very ambitious to weed out the unbelief and spiritual weakness in the region, and the jackfoot BC was very ambitious, period, and worshipped LCM and wanted nothing more than to be just like him. This was the year when all homeowners were commanded, on penalty of M&A, to sell their homes immediately. No car payments were allowed, either. Each in turn was quizzed and interrogated until the truth was told of shortcomings, independent thinking, and disregard for the great and glorious wonders of the present truth. Oh, and about those 401Ks? In 1994-95 that was strictly forbidden. When we sold the Pepsico stock, we had lots more money than we needed to pay the bills, so we opened IRAs, which I realize is not quite the same as a 401K but it was still a never-never-no-no. We just didn't bother to tell MiniMog about it. They helped us get set up back here in the heartland when we left. WG

They used to shave the kids' heads, burning the bedding to get rid of any nits. Any kid who came to school with a raw, naked scalp was subject to ridicule. This was years and years ago. Thank God we never had that problem, thought I remember being at some kind of fellowship where a little kid came and sat on my lap and kept scratching at his head. A friend was there, 2Life I think and kept giving me these strange looks. Afterward when I found out the reason for the scratching was this kid had LICE, I about died. I think I left my clothes outside and used about half a bottle of shampoo. Never did see any of the little creepy-crawlers, but felt itchy just the same. WG

It seems to me they are trying to sound a little "mainstreamed." I think their sympathy for those in debt is a little overstated. I never got anything but hard-core grief from TWI. We had to sell stock in Pepsi-Co to pay hospital bills because we didn't have insurance when I was diagnosed with IDDM. This after getting screamed at by the MiniMOG for owning stock in the first place. On the other hand, the little WC queen who was our twig leader had elective surgery and wrote it off to Medicaid. Different rules for the elite, I guess; we were not offered that option by the MiniMOG of the hour in that city. The last year they had the ROA, we were ordered to attend. Never mind we didn't have any money and I had been diagnosed with IDDM and a long car ride would be a bad thing for me. So we used a credit card to buy airplane tickets and went, stayed with family, and truth be told, spent as little time at the ROA as possible. Later on, we applied to go to WIB. Well, as our finances were investigated it was discovered by the detectives of TWI that we had (GASP!) used a credit card and were in DEBT! The stuff hit the fan and spread all over the place. How dare we use credit cards and then expect to be allowed the privilege of attending WIB? Who did we think we were! Well, they knew who we were, we were Ananias and Sapphira all over again and they had no idea why God hadn't struck us dead. "Hey, you know what, we never tried to hide the fact, and besides you TOLD us we had to go!" That as you may guess, fell on deaf ears. The money was returned to us (how nice) along with an ABS check upon which I had written the wrong month. That was also an exceeding great sin. Did I understand what a huge inconvenience that was for everyone concerned, including Mr. HA himself? That was such a worldly thing to do! Who in hell did I think I was? Once again, weighed in the balance and found wanting. And I have a word for Ms. Martin: We own a home and pay a mortgage because THAT IS WHAT WE DECIDED WE WANT TO DO! And you know what, Cookie? When we are dead and gone, our child can raise his family in this house, and his children can remember when they played on our porch! Who says you have to rent? Who says you have to have a cult telling you what to think, say and do, anyway? WG

I like Shock Top and also Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale. WG

Actually my WOW year got me out from under my family's thumb so that was a good thing! I lived with the branch coordinator, an interim WC person who quickly made me aware of the bottomless divide between herself, an illustrious member of the most elite group on earth, and me, a humble peon not even an Advanced Class grad. There were so many times when she just would tell me I could not possibly understand something because I wasn't WC. Of course, I was the one who did all of the cooking and cleaning, managed the finances, and was given the privilege of paying out of pocket for any extras. I just thought she was an aberration. She did get in trouble later on, because someone at a meeting of WOW vets at a summer camp ratted her out that everyone was required to call her "Miss Lastname". At least we WOWs who served her were. She got a personal call from VPW telling her in no uncertain terms to knock it off. (Mr. Garden was at the summer camp meeting and said VPW about blew a gasket on that one, yelling at HA and BW about it). I should have known better, but in retrospect, I'm glad I stayed in so I could meet Mr. Garden and marry him two years later. We did run a lot of classes that year. I hope we did some good. I remember personally a couple of incidents where I was able to pray for someone, i.e., minister to them, with positive results. (Of course I got REPROVED for that because I hadn't had the Advanced Class and prayed for someone's healing. The fact that the individual's headache left her immediately was apparently irrelevant.) I think for me personally it was a success because I hung right in there in spite of living with Miss Hoity-Toity, kept my personal commitment to God NOT TWI, and was somewhat better able to handle life itself than before. WG

I believe it was before VPW died that LCM published an article, or perhaps a series of articles in the Wmag "The Tithe Doth Still Provide" or something like that. I seem to recall he used this immortal phrase in that article first. As others also recall the 10% became an ironclad law under the reign of terror. I remember a struggling young couple with little kids who desperately wanted to tithe and more but just couldn't. I told them that God respected their heart if they gave a dollar or gave or their time or whatever they could manage. Alas our noble twig leader had already chewed their butts and told them if they didn't cough up at least 10% to not bother, because God would not honor them or DO anything for them, and that God would not spit in their direction, etc. I told them I didn't believe that. I told them you don't buy God's favor or protection or love. They reiterated their conversation with the twig leader, little banty rooster that he was. Thankfully they never ratted me out to him. He would've had a snitfit. WG

One of the funniest things I ever saw in FLO was when we were weeding in the garden and a friend of mine, working in a row filled with potato plants, rose from a squatting position straight up about four feet in the air, shrieking like a banshee! She was incoherent with fright and when I came over to check things out, there was a ring snake about 14 inches long coiled in a potato plant, as stunned as she was. I picked it up behind its little head and moved it over to a field next to the garden to hunt for its insect lunch in peace. But a charging box turtle! Good grief! Few things in the garden scare me. I even leave the giant spiders with their black and yellow bodies and black patent leather legs alone as long as they are doing their job. One time in NC, I had my reluctant eight year old son out weeding with me, and was explaining why we do things the way we do, when he stopped my hand. A couple inches away was a mama wolf spider, babies on her back, front legs raised to protect them. After I calmed down my insides, I was able to calmly identify her and we watched the babies as she scurried away to find safety for her brood. Sprout has had a soft spot in his heart for wolf spiders ever since, even though they do bite and can be kind of poisonous but not lethal. We have garter snakes by the handful out here, but I think we are too far north for wolf spiders. Now a tarantula, that would be another story..... :unsure: WG

And then of course the Buckeyes clobber the Wolverines every November! WG

Do you think Bucks would mind if I ate one too? WG

When I was working I printed out the lyrics to this song and had them up on my bulletin board to remind me there were better and more important things in life than whatever I was doing at the moment. WG

Last spring I asked for and got a compost bin for my birthday! It is the throw-it-in kind and has soil, leaves, grass clippings and lots of veggie scraps, some coffee grounds etc. None of the varmints have visited it and it does smell kinda composty and leafy. Of course now it's winter and I don't quite know what's happening, but making a couple of treks out back with the compostables anywya. A couple of years ago I took a soil sample to the closest OSU extension for testing and came back with a pH of 5.6!!! Very good for blueberries, deadly for anything else. We lime every spring, especially the asparagus which like a pH of 7. We have a lot of black raspberries which we are going to move this spring to the garden. A brother-in-law who is a landscaper gives us big bags of composted mulch and raked up leaves and stuff from his customers, which we allow to "work" for several months and then till into the garden. We had a nasty year last year but I am looking forward to lots of tomatoes this year. I like to can them. We did have a strawberry bed around a buried propane tank, however, we changed vendors and the tank and strawberries are gone and we have a lovely firepit! We have thornless blackberries that are delicious to man and puppy alike! Our older grandson likes to help me pick berries, but then he has an empty bowl and a sticky face! This spring since Mr. Garden will be working with above mentioned brother-in-law, I am enlisting my daughter-in-law to help out. I will grow green beans, tomatoes, and the berries. Also some basil and so on. Hopefully LOTS of basil. It's easy to grow here. WG

Man, I haven't made latkes for so long! I think I will this weekend! WG

We buy a brand at Costco called Mountain High. I don't think it is Greek, but it sure is good. I used it today to make linguini with clam sauce. 1 bunch green onions, chopped 4 garlic cloves, minced 8 oz sliced baby Bella mushrooms basil salt free Spike splash of white wine 1 1/2 cups plain yogurt 2-3 tablespoons corn starch parsley, dried or fresh, mostly for garnish but you can sprinkle some in when you add the basil and Spike 1 pat butter or Pam if you are really into dieting grease skillet with pam or Pam or butter, your choice. Add the veggies all at once and saute until some of the moisture starts to cook out of the mushrooms. You can add a little clam broth if they seem to need it. Add a splash of white wine. Add the seasonings in also. Drain 1 can of clams, but leave the broth in the other one and dump them in. Cook on low heat as everything starts to blend in and it starts to smell out of this world. In a small bowl mix the plain yogurt and the cornstarch. Blend into the clam-veggie-wine mix and allow to thicken on low heat. In the meantime of course you will have boiled water and added the linguine or pasta of your choice, along with whatever side dish you prefer. A crisp green salad is optimum, IMO. This is quick, easy and very tasty. Of course you should drink the rest of the wine with your meal! wg

Blue always was my favorite color! WG

You forgot to add the wheat berries! :)

Today was actually very good. The subject was "confession". Now Mark, it might interest you that the original Catholic church confession was not only to confess one's sins to another individual (priest) but one then received instructions for penance, which comes from the same word as repent and was to have one do something that made one think over one's sin and repent of it. (I realize you knew that but I thought it was neat anyway). That's what confession and penance was all about. We confess our sins to God but then we should also confess to one another. (about panicked on this one; if everyone stood and confessed in turn, it could make for a VERY long service!) But it was about being honest with God, ourselves, and one another. I thought back to TWI and how we were taught that after one did Rom 10:9-10 sin was just broken fellowship, and "gee, sorry Dad" and on our merry way we went. So many times I think we (I will include myself here since I am a sinner) kind of used this to blow off our sinfulness. I know a couple of guys who practiced that big time - and we know who they were! Probably more than one. I think a lot of my problem is that this guy wants to make it and keep it real, and part of my perception of what is real is still seen through TWI-colored glasses. I don't like to think of myself as guilty of any sin any more - I mean, I had all the classes more than once! I do think that attitude was promulgated amongst the higher ups; else why have an affair, and then another affair, and then another and another and.....eventually one's conscience is seared with a hot iron so much that it forms scar tissue, which can feel nothing at all. I talked to him at length after the service. There was a verse he had used that is really neat in the Amplified Bible which I shared and then we just talked. He did not blow me off at all but I got undivided attention and further explanation of a question or two I had. I think now what he was talking about was guilt that leads to godly sorrow and repentance. I was quite heartened. WG JeffSjo Your description of worldly sorrow versus Godly sorrow is so perfect! I think I've been wallowing a little too much in worldly sorrow - "Oh I'm such a worm! that kind of stuff! Golly I think I just confessed something! Thanks guys! WG

And Amen from me too!

I believe that when mankind fell, it opened up sickness and disease to come into the world. I do believe that God will use whatever means necessary to get our attention. I don't think God makes us sick, but I think He pays very close attention to how we handle sickness. Here's an example: I was secretary for seven years to a female doctor who treated cancer patients, many of them women with breast cancer. These women loved her and clung to her and trusted her throughout their treatment. So many of them came in broken and fearful and left uplifted. Why? Well first of all this woman doctor has a strong belief in God, and second - she had the same disease herself and survived. She had been there, done that, lived through the pain and the fear and the despair and not only survived, but come out stronger.She was the strongest woman I will ever know, because she had taken the sourest lemons of life and made lemonaide that I believe actually glorified God. I believe that God gives us the strength to survive and overcome all obstacles if we rely on Him and His goodness and grace. Kimberly, a lot of the stuff that went on, Secrets of the Vine for example, happened in the previous church, with the previous minister and his wife running the show. The Ladies "Bible Study" run by her had all these classes on Prov 31:10-31 which makes me want to barf to this day, and she was the one who hammered all the time on submission, subjection and obedience. I really don't think the new guy is like that, but I still am not happy with the situation. Maybe I will be later. I think I take it too seriously. One of the problems I see with complementarianism is that I think it CAN drive a wedge between the husband and wife if they have not both been raised that way. I will write more later. Gotta get dressed and go to church! WG

Thanks so much for your replies. Mark, I will check out your website sometime this weekend. So much of what I see is what I would call performance-based Christianity rather than faith-based Christianity. I think performance-based drives me to guilt. Yeah, I probably do need to keep the house cleaner, but sometimes I just have something to do like play with the dog or read a good book. Which brings me to..... I really don't like to read the Bible any more!!!!! I can never decide whether what I'm reading is right, or whether someone else's interpretation of it is right, or whether TWI..... and then I feel guilty because I don't read the Bible. I think sometimes what I'm looking for is someone to just say, "Hey, God knows you aren't perfect and He loves you anyway." I know that Godly sorrow leads to repentance, rethinking your actions, evaluating your sin and asking God's forgiveness and then working toward changes. But what I'm talking about is the guilt I feel about stuff I didn't even have control over, and especially not measuring up to the standards of TWI, even though we left in 1996. Those standards of perfection are still there, rattling around in my head and making me wonder if I'll ever get it right. WG

The young minister in our little fellowship started a new series of sermons on Sunday. This first one was out of Genesis, the fall of man, and was about guilt. He talked about people having a heart of stone, of being cold, and how they do that because they've been hurt and they don't want to be hurt again so they just get to the place they don't care anymore. In a lot of ways that described me. I don't feel that way to ward off the righteous feelings of guilt that I should and deserve to feel, but because I've had so much damn guilt thrown in my face for the past 19 years or so I can't stand it any more. TWI: my house wasn't clean enough, my son wasn't perfect enough, I wasn't submissive enough, you all been there done that, right? Then I was diagnosed with diabetes, and the first time I am around a socalled woman of God she wants to know, "Do you understand what it is THAT YOU DID that caused this to happen to you?" So I'm obviously guilty of some horrendous sin and God had to smite me with diabetes to punish me. Then there's the thing about our son is being a jerk because I am insufficiently submissive to my husband. (Actually he was being a 13 year old!) Then we are told to "get rid of him" and told if we are separated from TWI, all he11 will break loose in our lives and our spirit will die and then our body. So fast forward to 2007. I think I'm over the guiltiness pretty good and the new church that preceded the present one runs a Sunday School class called Secrets of the Vine and this class teaches that all sickness and disease come from God for the purpose of scourging those who are not bearing sufficient fruit in their lives. I went off the deep end for a while on that one. Now this new fellowship. Guilt. Adam and Eve. Well, Eve really. Women are stupid they get deceived easily. I'm guilty of being a woman. I mean, isn't there enough stuff around to condemn yourself over without churches/fellowships/whoever heaping more on you? Is it Biblical for Christians to go around feeling guilty and being told all that? I thought the blood of Jesus Christ cleansed me from my sin when I repented and got saved and all that. But nowadays it seems like I am being condemned on every side. WG

I learned and continue to learn to be very suspicious of any religious organization and to be very distrustful of anyone in a pastoral position. That includes former pastors of former churches we attended AFTER TWI. No offense to anyone who reads this who is a minister, including a TWI minister. I just don't want to be fooled again. WG

After we left the WC Mr. Garden had the devil's own time finding a decent job, until one woman believed in him and paved the way for his interviews with the higher-ups. After we moved back to Ohio it was somewhat better, but not so much. Myself, I just don't talk about it. I agree, it is embarrassing to say the least. I did discuss my former involvement with a psychologist during therapy. He was horrified. WG