shazdancer

We grew up. In any group, you will get a few who will idolize the leader, no matter what he says or does. But remember, the heyday of TWI was when it was full of kids who arrested their adolescence and maturation to follow the MOG. For me at least, the closer I got to the leaders, and as time passed, the more I could see the hypocrisy both in doctrine and in behavior.

Lifted, I was in the 6th Family Corps, 1979-80. Husband and I only did the one in-res year, by choice. Within a couple of years after that, we were out. I want to say how sorry I am that you were assaulted and that we were not aware about how much terrible stuff like that was going on. Had I known, we would have been out that much sooner, I suppose, because I would have said something. That year, I did quietly speak up to the children's fellowship leader over how I saw a mother hit her child repeatedly with a spoon while she reviewed her son's homework. So, while I didn't have the guts back then to stand up in a meeting and blast everybody, I did at least have the guts to say something. But while Wierwille was busy trying to show us how we didn't have a lot of spiritual understanding, we were missing the very real abuse of power and lack of pastoral care right in front of our noses, and for that I am very sorry. I will say that, at least in that Family Corps, there was no wide-spread knowledge about the sexual nonsense going on. I certainly didn't know, and my exhusband was shocked when he heard about it. And I think I know why. Many Family Corps people were older than Wierwille's "keeds" at Emporia, and he was desperate for the admiration and money that could come from the professional world. Moreover, he knew what he was doing was wrong, justifications notwithstanding. More mature adults wouldn't have put up with it.This was lockbox stuff, not because others couldn't "handle it" as he said, but because he knew it was wrong and it would have ended his whole organization, had it gotten out.

Here's a drive by from Shaz [waves hi]: It is all about the money. If they are worth $68M, that's over a million and a half to play with every year. Income from the current group is small potatoes but it doesn't matter. Work the Corps and staff like slaves, keep "research" or other services down to a minimum, and live off the dividends in perpetuity. The revs "on the field" are just ....ed because they aren't getting some of this largess and they aren't getting much adulation, either. Not to mention a lot of their buddies have left. Rosalie stops anything that smacks of upsetting the status quo because it might interfere with the gravy train. She's no Bill Gates, but it's enough to live on and she gets free housekeeping. All is fine as long as the operation stays small. No more World Over the World nonsense. No more new research. Just keep everyone in line, and dump anyone who threatens otherwise.

Enjoy some excerpts here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yabmXuDN5Zg I was out of TWI by 1985, or I might have been in this. Definitely dodged a bullet there. A couple of random thoughts for this thread: the lead dancer/choreographer had already put together a version of AOS back in 1979-80 with a different male lead. Backstage after the performance, I recall Craig asking the choreographer if "we" invented the flexed foot! No one more surprised than I was to later learn that Craig became the lead. Perhaps he thought he was cementing his position as a ministry rockstar. about this same time, asking if I could join Way Prod. as a dancer, I was asked if I knew anything about clogging, because VPW wanted cloggers (**sigh**) AOL was a production of amateur dancers with a lot of money thrown at stage sets and lighting. I give the choreographer credit for trying to fulfill LCM's larger vision with the cast she had, but she just didn't have the cast that could work at that level. The choreographer carefully put the better dancers in front of each group of devil spirits to give them someone to follow, but the longer they danced, the weaker it all got. Ditto the music. Maybe Socks can weigh in, but it seems to me that most of the professional-level talent was gone or going by then. The musical score is pretty repetitive and simplistic, nothing for John Williams or Leonard Bernstein to worry about. But there was also the problem that Wierwille wasn't much for complex music that didn't feature "rightly-divided" lyrics front and center, so there may have been a lot of pressure on the composer to not go too far afield. (Side note -- does anyone have any evidence, other than VPW's say-so, that he actually played an instrument? When he would warble with the singers or walk around snapping his fingers off the beat, it sure didn't look like it.) back when I first saw the video production, I was struck by how much the demons were glorified, both in having the better dancers doing those parts and in the length of time they were onstage. Dancers simulating sex seemed unnecessary, but giving HQ's fixation on all things sexual it is not much of a surprise, I guess. It was a part of the doctrine, this fixation on the devil, that I didn't buy even when I was in. What happened to "greater is he that is in you...?"

I found the parts of me that were vulnerable to falling into abusive relationships, and the parts of me I wanted to keep. Sometimes they are the same thing. But at least now I can forgive myself and move on from abuse, instead of endlessly trying to "believe better."

Hi Jim. I don't often swing by the 'Spot these days, but I did see this post and so I watched the program online. I have met the woman who left the church in the film. She and her husband have a good life together. She has written 2 books about her experience, and she helps others who want to leave the Amish church. She is very respectful of those who want to remain in, but it just wasn't for her. She craved education and choice, two things that are not readily available to Amish young adults, especially not to women. She also experienced abuse from family members. One of the difficulties in the Amish community, like TWI, is that there are not enough checks and balances on behavior. If the church elders are corrupt, there is no one to stop them. The inequality between all men and all women (not just husbands and wives) is also a problem. If a woman complains, she tends to be blamed. Like the Amish, TWI also tried to control its members (mostly those more committeed, such as WOWs and Corps) by restricting their behaviors, but without having them contained on a campus, it was largely impossible. Every society tries to regulate its own to the betterment of the society. Religious groups add the need to be more attuned to things of the spirit by their behavior. But it is sad when societies are constructed to benefit only a subset of the group at the expense of the rest. All people are fallible, including members of the Amish, or TWI, or any other group. But when there is no just way of dealing with evil acts, there is problem at the heart of that society.

According to their nonprofit status, "donors" to PFAL should only have been able to deduct the portion of the donation that was beyond the cost of materials. When I took PFAL, the cost was $65, roughly the retail price of the books and syllabus, so it should not have been advertised as a donation or tax deductible. Ooops.

Then, Sky, maybe you'll get a kick out of this. We had graduated as Recognized Corps (1 year in-res), but were sent to Phoenix instead of a staff assignment because hubby was drinking and there was a Limb leader going there who would undershepherd him. The guy who was supposed to help him refused to, and only lasted 6 months. So we basically had zero help, or even supervision. Two Limb leaders later, I get called in to meet with him -- I suppose he was trying to get a handle on what kind of leadership types he had. He wanted me to fill out a set of those 15-minute schedules. I looked at them, then handed them back to him and refused, saying I was Recognized Corps and not required to do that kind of thing. He said something like "Dr. didn't really want there to be a Recognized Corps," but I just said that was our understanding when I went in. I tried to be polite, but I also had no interest in doing something so inane with someone who didn't even know me. Silly.

Once I realized that my marriage was based on his false pretenses (he never intended to love like Christ loved the church, Gal. 5), and once I realized that God didn't call anyone to an abusive marriage, but to one of peace (I Cor. 7:15), I had no religious qualms about getting out of the marriage. It wasn't easy, but it was one of the smartest choices I ever made. The alcoholic ex-husband continued to drink, continued to abuse, and emotionally destroyed the next person he married (according to her daughter). He didn't destroy me or my kids.

The additional pressure with being in a fundamentalist Christian group is that a woman leaving her marriage is seen as sinning against God. "Husband is head of the wife" and all that. Mentally and emotionally, it is also difficult if all her friends and confidants are in the church. No one to give perspective, no examples of women with successful, happy, and peaceful lives outside of the belief system she is surrounded by.

PM'ed you. -- Shaz

John, perhaps the question here is "what is a 'true believer?'" For one example, in the Catholic religion, most American Catholics have long since adopted the use of birth control other than the rhythm method, but would still call themselves Catholic. Every doctrinal point does not define them, but at the core, they consider themselves Catholic. Rome might wish they were more devout, but basically they are happy to have the flock show up at Mass once in awhile and throw a buck in the plate. The same goes for most other religions. Not every Mormon wife wears religious undergarments, not every Baptist believes every non-Christian goes to hell, and so on. TWI, on the other hand, became much more insistent that their followers adopt every bit of the dogma, even when the articles of faith seemed to change from month to month during the Craig years. (Original sin, tithing, allegiance to the MOG, and debt come to mind.) Worse, the organizational structure seemed to support ratting out anyone who did not conform, and those who were ratted on were kicked out, sometimes without so much as a shred of evidence. During the Weirwille years, I knew of plenty of believers who didn't buy every piece of the doctrine. Heck, I didn't, either. But I was willing (for a time) to stay with the organization, because overall, where else was I going to go where anything close to this doctrine was preached? So I and many others stayed, hoping to make changes from within, or to reason with people one at a time. So the basic difference, socially, between TWI and other religions is one of tolerance. I find it interesting that the "kinder, gentler" TWI kicked in when it was clear that a rigid stance threatened to destroy the organization. Can't have that -- too many people on the payroll.

I actually agree with johniam in part (don't faint, John ;) ). If you were in a Twig back in Wierwille's day, you were pretty much left alone. Even WOW Ambassadors and Fellow Laborers weren't controlled much at first. But the closer you got to the MOG, the more cult-like it became. At first, there were only a few Corps grads or clergy running things, so their impact on Joe Believer was minimal. Too many people, too few dictators. But as more and more "leaders" moved out from root locales, they brought with them what they thought was the right way to run things, which was to emulate the micromanaging MOG.

Sky, if you tell the story of the microcosm well, people will understand that it stands for the macrocosm. No need to shove a moral down people's throats. :) Why were 190 clergy assigned to HQ? IMHO, because they should have been the most loyal to Wierwille, so he was hoping to have better control over his staff -- he wanted yes-men, not people with actual needs. (Which is why he shut down the Senior Corps.) If he'd played it right, he would have had minions to care for him and do his bidding in his old age even if he wasn't the board president anymore. Remember, narcissists tend to be lazy. What he didn't count on was that clergy actually thought of themselves as leaders, able to make decisions and get "revelation" on their own, from Craig on down. He also didn't realize that the top clergy didn't like him much. No surprise -- he was demanding, insulting, capricious, a drunk, and an adulterer. No wonder he went off to Gartmore when it became apparent that he couldn't control the mess at home, a mess of his own making.

I've had an interesting life, no doubt about it, some of it very rough. Did the dance thing for over 25 years, hard work but rewarding. Got to where the body wouldn't let me do that anymore, so went to grad school and am 8 years into my second career, doing well. Left the drinker on "the field" where they sent us, later married another TWI-er who was messed up (I just can't pick 'em), divorced him , too. Raised my kids alone. They are grown up now and are AWESOME, and smart, funny, well-liked, and kind. No question, life is so much better out of TWI. I met some very good people, and I met some jerks. Now, I got out in '85-ish, so I wasn't "in" during the Craig years. (I was like, "WHO is the new prez? You're kidding! Seriously?") So I'm talkin' about TWI under Wierwille. LIFE IS BETTER OUT -- MUCH, MUCH BETTER. And my kids are reaping the benefits of being raised mostly out. They are not tied to having to live up to the whim of a cornfield preacher in Ohio or his legacy.