HCW

I turned my attention back to Don Juan. "Squeeze my hand, man." I told him to take his mind off the pain. He pleaded not to be moved, he thought he was sliding down the hill even though he was laying still. I did my best to distract him and focus his mind to keep him stable. By now several more paramedic busses had arrived. I flagged some over and they strapped Don Juan on a body board to move him. I got out of their way and went around from person to person checking the extent of injuries, looking for broken bones concussions & the like. I had SCREAMED at paramedics, the first ones to arrive to take Rochelle. There had been so much activity. 13 people in various states of injury, so much running around that the first paramedic unit to leave w/ Rochelle in it had kinda wrecked into the second LEAD truck pulling out. They just powered past it and zoomed away full lights & sirens. When I was checking Rochelle, she was holding her hands on her head, rocking & crying. "Rochelle, move your hands out of the way, I HAVE to check your head." I told her. "Nooooooo." she said, "Ohhhh Nooooo!" She was always sooo stubborn. "ROCHELLE - - LET me SEE your HEAD!" I said a wee bit sternly. I have to check so I can tell the paramedics who's hurt the worst. Come on honey, let me see it. This is ME, let me see it ok?" She nodded. and I began to gently move her hands away. The skin on her head moved with her hands. I saw what I thought was her skull inside the slice. "WHAT hit you? I said. She pointed and said I think that thing hit me." It was a piece of the aluminum siding laying near her with some blood on it. That thing had literally scalped her about half of the top of her head, she was holding it together with her hands. I SCREAMED. "MEEDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIICCCCC! MEDIC! GET a medic OVER HERE - - - NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" They took her away first.

I turned my attention back to Don Juan. "Squeeze my hand, man." I told him to take his mind off the pain. He pleaded not to be moved, he thought he was sliding down the hill even though he was laying still. I did my best to distract him and focus his mind to keep him stable. By now several more paramedic busses had arrived. I flagged some over and they strapped Don Juan on a body board to move him. I got out of their way and went around from person to person checking the extent of injuries, looking for broken bones concussions & the like. I had SCREAMED at paramedics, the first ones to arrive to take Rochelle. There had been so much activity. 13 people in various states of injury, so much running around that the first paramedic unit to leave w/ Rochelle in it had kinda wrecked into the second LEAD truck pulling out. They just powered past it and zoomed away full lights & sirens. When I was checking Rochelle, she was holding her hands on her head, rocking & crying. "Rochelle, move your hands out of the way, I HAVE to check your head." I told her. "Nooooooo." she said, "Ohhhh Nooooo!" She was always sooo stubborn. "ROCHELLE - - LET me SEE your HEAD!" I said a wee bit sternly. I have to check so I can tell the paramedics who's hurt the worst. Come on honey, let me see it. This is ME, let me see it ok?" She nodded. and I began to gently move her hands away. The skin on her head moved with her hands. I saw what I thought was her skull inside the slice. "WHAT hit you? I said. She pointed and said I think that thing hit me." It was a piece of the aluminum siding laying near her with some blood on it. That thing had literally scalped her about half of the top of her head, she was holding it together with her hands. I SCREAMED. "MEEDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIICCCCC! MEDIC! GET a medic OVER HERE - - - NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" They took her away first.

I jumped into the bed and hooked under Jo's arms. Pulling I began yelling for help to get her out and then went to check Na^cy. Then I went to Don Juan; he was moaning loudly and bleeding from his hand and face. He cried out, "Helllp!" and I took his hand saying, "I'm here bro, just breathe, slow & deep. Breathe, slow & deep, Don't try to move..." Don Juan was in a LOT of pain, his hip was somewhat contorted and he said his left shoulder was out of joint. While comforting him again, Isurveyed the scene. It was gruesome. There were bleeding people and small puddles of blood scattered all around me. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle and moaning and crying I sorta faded into myself. The noise and movements all became muffled and slow motion again and I almost broke and wept - - again. Just then Steve said, "Don't worry. I'm not as bad as I look." he - looked - HORRIBLE. His face was streaked with blood like something out of a cheap horror movie. Thoughts of the BLOOD, broken bones, the twisted remains of the truck and shattered trailer, luggage, backpacks, and those ever present SACK LUNCHES(damn those things) converged on me and I felt my sanity slipping away. Steve's remark kinda made me laugh. He looked REALLY bad but he had this stupid SMILE on his face! The laughing snapped me back to reality.

I jumped into the bed and hooked under Jo's arms. Pulling I began yelling for help to get her out and then went to check Na^cy. Then I went to Don Juan; he was moaning loudly and bleeding from his hand and face. He cried out, "Helllp!" and I took his hand saying, "I'm here bro, just breathe, slow & deep. Breathe, slow & deep, Don't try to move..." Don Juan was in a LOT of pain, his hip was somewhat contorted and he said his left shoulder was out of joint. While comforting him again, Isurveyed the scene. It was gruesome. There were bleeding people and small puddles of blood scattered all around me. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle and moaning and crying I sorta faded into myself. The noise and movements all became muffled and slow motion again and I almost broke and wept - - again. Just then Steve said, "Don't worry. I'm not as bad as I look." he - looked - HORRIBLE. His face was streaked with blood like something out of a cheap horror movie. Thoughts of the BLOOD, broken bones, the twisted remains of the truck and shattered trailer, luggage, backpacks, and those ever present SACK LUNCHES(damn those things) converged on me and I felt my sanity slipping away. Steve's remark kinda made me laugh. He looked REALLY bad but he had this stupid SMILE on his face! The laughing snapped me back to reality.

Open the Window! Open the window! Another voice from the outside. I though maybe we were trapped but Kevin cranked down his window and we scampered out. I followed Kevin an went in the opposite direction as he. The first person I saw was Rochel*e Wajhnb##g (;)--> 'Wolf). She had cuts in her head and he har sheared away and blood flowing down her face and hands as she sat, moaning and rocking, moaning and rocking holding her hands on her head. There was moaning from every direction. I wheeled around and Looked right into Stephen Spielb@rgs bloody face. Then I froze and slowly panned the whole scene. My heart wanted to weep and sob SOOOO badly! Thought of personal guilt FLOODED my mind. There was NO time....No time for that. I bounded around the back of the truck and began to check injuries. There were people from the other truck pulling others out of the bed who were stuffed and stacked on top of each other in the corner up against the back of the cab. I looked down into the bed, there was Jo Phe!ffer stuufed in to the corner. Still I couldn't BELIEVE this was HAPPENING. Nancy was to my left with crying with blood all over her face, her teeth were bashed in so far you could hardly see them, looked like they were gone. AGAIN my mind wanted to freak.

Open the Window! Open the window! Another voice from the outside. I though maybe we were trapped but Kevin cranked down his window and we scampered out. I followed Kevin an went in the opposite direction as he. The first person I saw was Rochel*e Wajhnb##g (;)--> 'Wolf). She had cuts in her head and he har sheared away and blood flowing down her face and hands as she sat, moaning and rocking, moaning and rocking holding her hands on her head. There was moaning from every direction. I wheeled around and Looked right into Stephen Spielb@rgs bloody face. Then I froze and slowly panned the whole scene. My heart wanted to weep and sob SOOOO badly! Thought of personal guilt FLOODED my mind. There was NO time....No time for that. I bounded around the back of the truck and began to check injuries. There were people from the other truck pulling others out of the bed who were stuffed and stacked on top of each other in the corner up against the back of the cab. I looked down into the bed, there was Jo Phe!ffer stuufed in to the corner. Still I couldn't BELIEVE this was HAPPENING. Nancy was to my left with crying with blood all over her face, her teeth were bashed in so far you could hardly see them, looked like they were gone. AGAIN my mind wanted to freak.

What Happened??? My journal reads: Yesterday while we were driving toward Tinnie to be let out for the trip home disaster struck. Kevin & I were in the cab of the white pickup riding along at highway speeds going over my LEAD evealuation. Kevin was driving and he was holding the eval form across the steering wheel with his hands at 3'oclock and 9'oclock, so he could read it. As he looked up & down at the road & then at the form asking questions we both noticed that he was having a little trouble keeping the truck going straight down the road. The wind seemed to pick up & it was a gusting crosswind. I kinda hesitated to answer the questions and at one point we both sorta looked at each other like... "This is pretty dangerous." I remember looking down at the seat between us as Kevin took the form and placed it down. The instant he looked away from the road the truck started heading off the road onto the right shoulder. Kevin started to take corrective action. (He pulled the truck to the right until all the wheels on the right side of the truck were in the gravel shoulder, including the trailer. We were bouncing but not ot badly.) Then we started to lose it. When he turned to the left to get the truck back all the way on the road the truck bounced violently. It seemed like when the trailer came back up onto the road it bounced up and to the left pulling the rear of the truck fishtailing it to the left with it. Kevin did a counter-steer to the left to correct the skid without hitting the brakes. We were still going about 50mph at this point. Then the truck whipped violently fishtailing now to the right. I remember thinking how rough it was but I never though we would CRASH!!! Right into a ditch on the opposite (left) side of the road. We drove right off the left side of the road into what had been open countryside. When I looked up out the windshield, I saw the ditch approaching then realized we were going to have a BAD accident. Everything was like slow motion in the movies. We smashed into the ditch and Kevin & I both flew foreward shattering the windshield with our heads upon impact. I remember growling "NNOOOOOOO GGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!" as glass splashed everwhere hitting me in my face, going in my mouth, ears, everywhere; never squeezed my eyes shut so tight in my life. Slow motion banging, that ugly "car chrash!" sound, helplessly bouncing like a rag doll, screams, shouting in a slow motion fade to black. My mind fades up from black to a chorus of moans and crying and shouting. I looked over at Kevin; he was bleeding from his head and hands. I turned to my right and started yanking on the door to get out. Things were back to normal speed now. "open the door! OPEN the DOOR!" Kevin yelled to someone I couldn't see. My door was trapped by the ditch. We were actually tipped onto the right side of the truck and it was hanging, stuck in the ditch like you'd stick a knife in the ground. All I could see out my window was ground and a small strip of daylight at the top. The cab of the truck was so severly smashed, we couldn't get out the front or the back windows.

What Happened??? My journal reads: Yesterday while we were driving toward Tinnie to be let out for the trip home disaster struck. Kevin & I were in the cab of the white pickup riding along at highway speeds going over my LEAD evealuation. Kevin was driving and he was holding the eval form across the steering wheel with his hands at 3'oclock and 9'oclock, so he could read it. As he looked up & down at the road & then at the form asking questions we both noticed that he was having a little trouble keeping the truck going straight down the road. The wind seemed to pick up & it was a gusting crosswind. I kinda hesitated to answer the questions and at one point we both sorta looked at each other like... "This is pretty dangerous." I remember looking down at the seat between us as Kevin took the form and placed it down. The instant he looked away from the road the truck started heading off the road onto the right shoulder. Kevin started to take corrective action. (He pulled the truck to the right until all the wheels on the right side of the truck were in the gravel shoulder, including the trailer. We were bouncing but not ot badly.) Then we started to lose it. When he turned to the left to get the truck back all the way on the road the truck bounced violently. It seemed like when the trailer came back up onto the road it bounced up and to the left pulling the rear of the truck fishtailing it to the left with it. Kevin did a counter-steer to the left to correct the skid without hitting the brakes. We were still going about 50mph at this point. Then the truck whipped violently fishtailing now to the right. I remember thinking how rough it was but I never though we would CRASH!!! Right into a ditch on the opposite (left) side of the road. We drove right off the left side of the road into what had been open countryside. When I looked up out the windshield, I saw the ditch approaching then realized we were going to have a BAD accident. Everything was like slow motion in the movies. We smashed into the ditch and Kevin & I both flew foreward shattering the windshield with our heads upon impact. I remember growling "NNOOOOOOO GGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!" as glass splashed everwhere hitting me in my face, going in my mouth, ears, everywhere; never squeezed my eyes shut so tight in my life. Slow motion banging, that ugly "car chrash!" sound, helplessly bouncing like a rag doll, screams, shouting in a slow motion fade to black. My mind fades up from black to a chorus of moans and crying and shouting. I looked over at Kevin; he was bleeding from his head and hands. I turned to my right and started yanking on the door to get out. Things were back to normal speed now. "open the door! OPEN the DOOR!" Kevin yelled to someone I couldn't see. My door was trapped by the ditch. We were actually tipped onto the right side of the truck and it was hanging, stuck in the ditch like you'd stick a knife in the ground. All I could see out my window was ground and a small strip of daylight at the top. The cab of the truck was so severly smashed, we couldn't get out the front or the back windows.

When you tell your story tell it the way you want George. Until then SHUT UP about telling me how to tell mine. I am paying RESPECT to a girl who LOST HER LIFE behind this. What's a few extra minutes of YOUR's worth compared to that. Please. Pull you pants up the moon is showing on your "dark and stormy foot."

DUO time... I always hated how TWI always had to do "the same thing only different." JUST BECAUSE Outward Bound and other similar programs called the end of their sessions time to reflect on the experience "solo's" LCM said we HAD to call our's "DUO's." We're not out there solo, its a DUO cause its you AND God, you're not alone! I was like "shut UP Craig. That's stupid, no matter how you look at it you are ALONE, solo with God...idiot." At any rate Kevin had told us that our LEAD evaluations would be longer during OUR Duo's than usual because they were instructed to discuss this BS w/ us concerning our future w/The Corps. The did the evals in alphabetical order, I was last. Kevin came by and asked me, since they already knew me, etc., if it was OK w/ me, (since the evals were going even longer than expected) that we could do my eval in the truck on the way to be dropped of tomorrow. It turned out that way. My eval wasn't done & we had packed up to leave. We headed out for the road in two trucks. Each truck had about 15 people in it. Our truck was a big Ford Pickup. We were pulling a trailer that the LEAD staff had built out of wood framing and aluminum siding. It was about the size of a small U-Haul and had all of the luggage, back-packs & sack lunches for the 30 of us in LEAD 104. Grrrrr..... We loaded 13 people in the bed of the pickup. Kevin & I sat up front and aonther girl, sat on my lap as we rode away. When we got to a doing the evaluation Kevin asked the girl if she could hop in the back w/the other folks. The other truck followed behind us as we went down the road again.

DUO time... I always hated how TWI always had to do "the same thing only different." JUST BECAUSE Outward Bound and other similar programs called the end of their sessions time to reflect on the experience "solo's" LCM said we HAD to call our's "DUO's." We're not out there solo, its a DUO cause its you AND God, you're not alone! I was like "shut UP Craig. That's stupid, no matter how you look at it you are ALONE, solo with God...idiot." At any rate Kevin had told us that our LEAD evaluations would be longer during OUR Duo's than usual because they were instructed to discuss this BS w/ us concerning our future w/The Corps. The did the evals in alphabetical order, I was last. Kevin came by and asked me, since they already knew me, etc., if it was OK w/ me, (since the evals were going even longer than expected) that we could do my eval in the truck on the way to be dropped of tomorrow. It turned out that way. My eval wasn't done & we had packed up to leave. We headed out for the road in two trucks. Each truck had about 15 people in it. Our truck was a big Ford Pickup. We were pulling a trailer that the LEAD staff had built out of wood framing and aluminum siding. It was about the size of a small U-Haul and had all of the luggage, back-packs & sack lunches for the 30 of us in LEAD 104. Grrrrr..... We loaded 13 people in the bed of the pickup. Kevin & I sat up front and aonther girl, sat on my lap as we rode away. When we got to a doing the evaluation Kevin asked the girl if she could hop in the back w/the other folks. The other truck followed behind us as we went down the road again.

Its not for drama Geo. This stuff relates to what happened...

Grrrrr..... LEAD 104 was the first group to go out of Emporia that year, the 11th Corps graduating year and 13th Corps first in-residence year. My journal reads: October 5/82 I'm going LEAD! Again! I'm blessed to be going so soon, in the pacesetting group - Now is the time for me to really break through... The installation has happened (August '82) I was one of only three full time photographers covering the events. Frank Cardullo was the fourth. It was great working with those guys... I felt like "less than the least" of photographers yet there I was, right up front with some of the best. Frank, David Savatteri, Bill Pancoast and myself. Seems like yesterday, we were shooting one of the biggest events in ministry history, now here I am about to go LEAD. ---------------------------------- I had spent about 35hrs & 10 min on the road with my partner Esther Cabrerra. Ester is a cute Colombian born little 13th Corps girl who, on our trip was hungry, like ALL of the time and constantly had to go to the bathroom! Drove me a little bit crazy but overall we had a goof trip. I liked Esther, she was cool. We were among the last ones to get there though, whew! We made it. After we all got there we had our first meeting with Donnie and the staff that would be taking us out on the session. This time Donnie's younger brother Kevin was leading the session but Donnie ran the opening meeting. Donnie told us that we were a "special" group. While we were thinking something like Yeah! Pacesetters, first out of the blocks & crap like that Donnie said, "... but not for the reasons you're probably thinking...." He went on to tell us how he was told were were all "hand-picked" for this session. Reason being that the line on all of us was that we were all "recommended" that we probably shouldn't have been allowed back in residence after our interim year. The 13th among us were considered to be "weaker." What had been a happy, jubilant group of tired giddy people turned into a really serious, somber, even angry bunch. Donnie kept talking, sayinghow he knew quite a few of us personally and couldn't see why any of those he knew were considered "weak." Continuing on he said that this crap didn't surprise him cause it happened a lot. He said he was told to challenge us & see who would "break." "I'm gonna challenge you all right, but not to break you. You gonna show 'em how LEAD 104 is not just a bunch of misfits, or "weak." We'll show them how you are among the BEST the 11th & 13th have to offer. He said how this dang ....ed him off. Because of that he came up with a theme cheer for us. We sat around the campfire circle and with flames flickering lighting our faces he said. "Repeat after me.... He had us say it over and over, WITH ENTHUSIASM! Emphasize THESE words, say it LOUDER! GROWL like you MEAN it!!! He had us going like a foobal team before they take the field. At first I was sayin' to myself. "I'm not sayin' that. Sounds pretty stupid to me." He kept saying stuff like, "You gonna let them say you're weak? YOU'RE not WEAK. you're not the WORST, you're the best!" Show 'em Show 'em NOW! LOUDER! Make the trees shake!" I guess we showed 'em. We had a really great session. We were LOUD, rowdy, got in trouble together, excelled in some stuff together. Rooted like crazy for small girls (like Rochelle) to get up some crazy mad climbs. Donnie said they had to do experimental stuff on us like adding extra days, hiking longer than they ever did, beign the first session ever to go on the opposite side of the mountain, climb climbs the staff had not even rated yet, etc. We hiked to the summit of Mt. Sunset from the opposite side of the mountain in full packs, stuff like that. We got to name the climbs in honor of our being the first LEAD group to climb them. During the session whenever we'd say LEAD 104 someone would say "GROWL when you say that mister!" Then we'd say our theme like the three stooges did the "Niagra Falls" thing. We had more fun than a barrel of Corps monkeys. GRRRRRRRRR........

Grrrrr..... LEAD 104 was the first group to go out of Emporia that year, the 11th Corps graduating year and 13th Corps first in-residence year. My journal reads: October 5/82 I'm going LEAD! Again! I'm blessed to be going so soon, in the pacesetting group - Now is the time for me to really break through... The installation has happened (August '82) I was one of only three full time photographers covering the events. Frank Cardullo was the fourth. It was great working with those guys... I felt like "less than the least" of photographers yet there I was, right up front with some of the best. Frank, David Savatteri, Bill Pancoast and myself. Seems like yesterday, we were shooting one of the biggest events in ministry history, now here I am about to go LEAD. ---------------------------------- I had spent about 35hrs & 10 min on the road with my partner Esther Cabrerra. Ester is a cute Colombian born little 13th Corps girl who, on our trip was hungry, like ALL of the time and constantly had to go to the bathroom! Drove me a little bit crazy but overall we had a goof trip. I liked Esther, she was cool. We were among the last ones to get there though, whew! We made it. After we all got there we had our first meeting with Donnie and the staff that would be taking us out on the session. This time Donnie's younger brother Kevin was leading the session but Donnie ran the opening meeting. Donnie told us that we were a "special" group. While we were thinking something like Yeah! Pacesetters, first out of the blocks & crap like that Donnie said, "... but not for the reasons you're probably thinking...." He went on to tell us how he was told were were all "hand-picked" for this session. Reason being that the line on all of us was that we were all "recommended" that we probably shouldn't have been allowed back in residence after our interim year. The 13th among us were considered to be "weaker." What had been a happy, jubilant group of tired giddy people turned into a really serious, somber, even angry bunch. Donnie kept talking, sayinghow he knew quite a few of us personally and couldn't see why any of those he knew were considered "weak." Continuing on he said that this crap didn't surprise him cause it happened a lot. He said he was told to challenge us & see who would "break." "I'm gonna challenge you all right, but not to break you. You gonna show 'em how LEAD 104 is not just a bunch of misfits, or "weak." We'll show them how you are among the BEST the 11th & 13th have to offer. He said how this dang ....ed him off. Because of that he came up with a theme cheer for us. We sat around the campfire circle and with flames flickering lighting our faces he said. "Repeat after me.... He had us say it over and over, WITH ENTHUSIASM! Emphasize THESE words, say it LOUDER! GROWL like you MEAN it!!! He had us going like a foobal team before they take the field. At first I was sayin' to myself. "I'm not sayin' that. Sounds pretty stupid to me." He kept saying stuff like, "You gonna let them say you're weak? YOU'RE not WEAK. you're not the WORST, you're the best!" Show 'em Show 'em NOW! LOUDER! Make the trees shake!" I guess we showed 'em. We had a really great session. We were LOUD, rowdy, got in trouble together, excelled in some stuff together. Rooted like crazy for small girls (like Rochelle) to get up some crazy mad climbs. Donnie said they had to do experimental stuff on us like adding extra days, hiking longer than they ever did, beign the first session ever to go on the opposite side of the mountain, climb climbs the staff had not even rated yet, etc. We hiked to the summit of Mt. Sunset from the opposite side of the mountain in full packs, stuff like that. We got to name the climbs in honor of our being the first LEAD group to climb them. During the session whenever we'd say LEAD 104 someone would say "GROWL when you say that mister!" Then we'd say our theme like the three stooges did the "Niagra Falls" thing. We had more fun than a barrel of Corps monkeys. GRRRRRRRRR........

"Thirty six hours and rides to get there." 36hrs and rides to get there was sort like a mantra that Dave B. one of the WCC's at Emporia would use to help motivate us to hitchhike the miles from Emporia, KS to Tinne, NM. The program "required" that we hitchhike in teams of two or three on a predetermined route from campus to campus. The groups were either one guy & a gal or two gals & a guy. They told us for "safety purposes" their would always be a guy with every girl. We were given the 36 hours to get to the pickup spot in Tinnie, a $10 bill for each person (so as to not be stopped by police as a vagrant) and a sack lunch which had "enough" food for the 36hrs. LEAD was "an adventure in believing," we were told as we were to hitchhike accross the country in a certain amount of time and come back with the $10. If you didn't make it to Tinnie in the specified time the LEAD staff was instructed to feed you and send you right back to the campus you came from. The trip itself was quite an extreme experience in and of itself and an interesting story. Maybe later. The accident happened when we were on our way AFTER the LEAD experience to be dropped off for the hitchhike "home" to the campus.

"Thirty six hours and rides to get there." 36hrs and rides to get there was sort like a mantra that Dave B. one of the WCC's at Emporia would use to help motivate us to hitchhike the miles from Emporia, KS to Tinne, NM. The program "required" that we hitchhike in teams of two or three on a predetermined route from campus to campus. The groups were either one guy & a gal or two gals & a guy. They told us for "safety purposes" their would always be a guy with every girl. We were given the 36 hours to get to the pickup spot in Tinnie, a $10 bill for each person (so as to not be stopped by police as a vagrant) and a sack lunch which had "enough" food for the 36hrs. LEAD was "an adventure in believing," we were told as we were to hitchhike accross the country in a certain amount of time and come back with the $10. If you didn't make it to Tinnie in the specified time the LEAD staff was instructed to feed you and send you right back to the campus you came from. The trip itself was quite an extreme experience in and of itself and an interesting story. Maybe later. The accident happened when we were on our way AFTER the LEAD experience to be dropped off for the hitchhike "home" to the campus.

L.E.A.D 104 L.E.A.D. For those who don't know, was a class taken as part of The Way Corps cirriculum. LEAD the acronym stands for Leadership, Education, Adventure, and Direction. It was a program designed to be like "Outward Bound," a popular Christian based outdoors adventure program which challenged people to stretch their physical limits and have a singularly personal experience with God in a nature setting. The goal was to enhance a personal relationship with Christ. The LEAD Outdoor Academy was TWI's answer to the same. The LEAD Staff was located in Tinnie, New Mexico and made up of people who had skills interest and training in "outdoor stuff" like camping, survival skills, rock climbing, etc. Donnie Smith, Rev. Donnie Smith was the Corps Coordinator at LEAD, a real Grizzly Adams lookin' kinda guy. I liked him, he was always cool to me & others whenever I saw him. The LEAD Home was a Corps Training location, the 5th of five that the Corps would rotate to, especially during year four, the final year. LEAD 104 was, as the title suggests, the 104th group to, as we used to say, "go LEAD." The program was basically 10 days; a day & 1/2 to get there seven days in the wilderness and a day & 1/2 to get back to the campus.

L.E.A.D 104 L.E.A.D. For those who don't know, was a class taken as part of The Way Corps cirriculum. LEAD the acronym stands for Leadership, Education, Adventure, and Direction. It was a program designed to be like "Outward Bound," a popular Christian based outdoors adventure program which challenged people to stretch their physical limits and have a singularly personal experience with God in a nature setting. The goal was to enhance a personal relationship with Christ. The LEAD Outdoor Academy was TWI's answer to the same. The LEAD Staff was located in Tinnie, New Mexico and made up of people who had skills interest and training in "outdoor stuff" like camping, survival skills, rock climbing, etc. Donnie Smith, Rev. Donnie Smith was the Corps Coordinator at LEAD, a real Grizzly Adams lookin' kinda guy. I liked him, he was always cool to me & others whenever I saw him. The LEAD Home was a Corps Training location, the 5th of five that the Corps would rotate to, especially during year four, the final year. LEAD 104 was, as the title suggests, the 104th group to, as we used to say, "go LEAD." The program was basically 10 days; a day & 1/2 to get there seven days in the wilderness and a day & 1/2 to get back to the campus.

With tears. Tears shed for every moment of pain all have suffered related to this day.

With tears. Tears shed for every moment of pain all have suffered related to this day.

For Rochelle.

For Rochelle.

Ok. Why write about this? Some people will want to know about it, some peole do wonder about it. Some have been lied to about it. It was spoken about briefly then swept under the TWI carpet. My dear friend Rochelle died from events linked directly back to it. Many were injured, some very severely. I was later told by a more than one Chiropractor that I should have been killed by the blow I took in "the accident." Why write about it? Why not let sleeping dogs lay? Mostly because I think Rochelle's life had worth to God. In the relatively short time I knew her she became like a little sister to me. I think people should know the truth. This is not a story. I won't exaggerate or embellish the facts to make for more interesting reading. The story itself is compelling enough. I don't carry these memories around in the forefront of my mind. Much of what I will write is directly from my journal and as such it might feel like it happened "yesterday." It literally was yesterday in the sense that I wrote in my journal about it the day after. The images were fresh in my mind then. I don't have a problem naming names giving dates or throwing in my opinions about what happened. As I'm wont to say, "I aint afraid a no ghosts." I don't care what TWI currently thinks or what anyone says about it. I was there. Come, if you will, let's take a ride back to October 19, 1982 to an event in TWI history that I believe should have been cannonized in the History of The Way Corps with some sort of title like "Lest we forget...." If TWI was 1% the ministry that say they are, God's ministry, they would never have allowed the memory of what happened that hot day in October to be forgotten. Fasten you seat belts gang.

Ok. Why write about this? Some people will want to know about it, some peole do wonder about it. Some have been lied to about it. It was spoken about briefly then swept under the TWI carpet. My dear friend Rochelle died from events linked directly back to it. Many were injured, some very severely. I was later told by a more than one Chiropractor that I should have been killed by the blow I took in "the accident." Why write about it? Why not let sleeping dogs lay? Mostly because I think Rochelle's life had worth to God. In the relatively short time I knew her she became like a little sister to me. I think people should know the truth. This is not a story. I won't exaggerate or embellish the facts to make for more interesting reading. The story itself is compelling enough. I don't carry these memories around in the forefront of my mind. Much of what I will write is directly from my journal and as such it might feel like it happened "yesterday." It literally was yesterday in the sense that I wrote in my journal about it the day after. The images were fresh in my mind then. I don't have a problem naming names giving dates or throwing in my opinions about what happened. As I'm wont to say, "I aint afraid a no ghosts." I don't care what TWI currently thinks or what anyone says about it. I was there. Come, if you will, let's take a ride back to October 19, 1982 to an event in TWI history that I believe should have been cannonized in the History of The Way Corps with some sort of title like "Lest we forget...." If TWI was 1% the ministry that say they are, God's ministry, they would never have allowed the memory of what happened that hot day in October to be forgotten. Fasten you seat belts gang.

I realize people are in different stages of healing. I'm glad you didn't feel that I was in any way supporting twi. I attend a very fine church myself. One of my pet peeves while "in" was that I thought that if we were really such hot dang Biblically, we should "join" as in come along side the Christian church as a whole. Not just say things to .... them off. ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Just took the long way to say that IF there was somthing good in your TWI experience, its OK to hold onto THAT. I know my TWI experience was somewhat unique. I'm also on record here that I feel complete severence from TWI is THE first step to cleansing & healing. I totally agree that the wayspeak is a web of emotional triggers that can untimately brainwash people into taking all of the insanity twi pushes From where I sit, some of the insanity is as unbelievable to me as it is to you that there was a "baby" to keep. The callous way they fired me was the stray in the camel's back. Proof they really didn't care about people's actual living breathing lives. They actually didn't care if people actually DIED. Vickles; I really don't use wayspeak at all in my normal speaking pattern. I use it intentionally when I post, to shed a certain light, create a mood, sometimes to maybe trigger a response. I actually believe that our involvement w/twi should be treated somewhat like a recovering alcoholic treats booze. Those words, expressions, phrasology, etc. DO actually control people. It has evolved to where twi has an expression for most everything. Creepy. I'm about to start a thread about a MAJOR twi incident that I am one of ONLY two people in the whole world who knows what really happened. To my knowledge at least one person is dead behind what really happened.... Stay tuned. BTW UncleHairy. I in NO way mean to suggest that there is ANYTHING regarding TWI that is "baby" enough to justify involvement in it. Anyone involved would do well to drive away from it and never go back.