HCW

oops. forgot to add. I really don't think the truck was overloaded. It was big enough that the 13 people fit in the back easily. It was fifteen total w/ Kevin & I in the cab. The trailer was built sturdy. They had taken a heavy duty truck axle and built a box on it. single axle. Even though it was a well built trailer and all, I'd have to agree there was enough $$ in the TWI coffers to buy even a custom made transport vehicle. They could have furnished the entire LEAD program w/ "nothing but the best." From my POV, there was this frugal attitude @ HQ that never changed once TWI got rich. I may not know a whole lot about pickup trucks but I know enough about corporate finance to know that they could have assessed the needs at LEAD and purchased all of the best across the boad. Way back in the day there wasn't enough money available to buy everything the ministry needed. Mrs. VPW would go to estate auctions, flea markets, etc. To get stuff like cabinets that were odd lots or overstocked items. Then Way builders would build counter-tops to fit the cabinets. That was how we originally furnished most of the offices in the OSC in 1979. However, some who ran organizations in TWI were not corporately savvy enough to know to ASK for budget for their depts. I'm not shifting "blame" here, just calling it like I saw it. I'm hoping this illucidates the fact that Howard Allen was responsible for LEAD at the trustee level. HA, in my opinion, turned from the old foundation of small business thinking. When money finally starts rolling in from the business, you funnel it back to the business to build the business so the business can function properly to grow to its critical mass. I think they felt at the top that when the money started rolling in they could continue to run the ministry "on a shoestring and a prayer," attitude, being frugal and "careful" with capital expenditures. That "frugality" filled the coffers, legitimate ministry financial needs mere neglected. At least, indirectly, lives were lost. It is this way NOW, more than ever. Anyone with any knowledge of business finance, or even balancing the family check book can tell you this: When my two little "eatin' everything in sight" boys are not with me, I'm at least $25.00 richer that weekend because I don't have to feed them. ($25.00 = 1 trip to McDonalds, plus two days worth of snacks.) Not to mention, two days worth of clothing, water for bathing, soap, spatulas and scrubbing equipment to get the dirt from them, shampoo, hair products, brush, 20% of my rent for the extra room I need to house them; divided by 30 - multiplied by 2, a portion of electric, heat to run the playstation and computer they play on, two video games, one movie rental; AND my time spent playing with them, yelling at them (don't BREAK your brother's ARM), plus an hour of mental anguish from telling them "NO, we CAN'T eat at McDonalds EVERY meal Every day!" Then they say, "Ok Daddy... can we eat at Burger King then? All that goes to say, SIMILAR amount of money means less hungry ministries eatin' it up. Wanna challenge me on it? While we were suffering from our LEAD injuries. TWI was paying lawyers to fight the IRS for tax exempt status. It came out in the fallout fron POP that TWI ran up (make a loose fist with your right hand, stick out your pinky on that hand, put the pinky to the right corner of your mouth & repeat after me....) "Oone MILLION DOOllars... humm, humm humm." (catch that reference soulmates!) Earl Burton also lost, in a stock investment... humm..."Oone MILLION DOOllars... Coulda bought a truck.

oops. forgot to add. I really don't think the truck was overloaded. It was big enough that the 13 people fit in the back easily. It was fifteen total w/ Kevin & I in the cab. The trailer was built sturdy. They had taken a heavy duty truck axle and built a box on it. single axle. Even though it was a well built trailer and all, I'd have to agree there was enough $$ in the TWI coffers to buy even a custom made transport vehicle. They could have furnished the entire LEAD program w/ "nothing but the best." From my POV, there was this frugal attitude @ HQ that never changed once TWI got rich. I may not know a whole lot about pickup trucks but I know enough about corporate finance to know that they could have assessed the needs at LEAD and purchased all of the best across the boad. Way back in the day there wasn't enough money available to buy everything the ministry needed. Mrs. VPW would go to estate auctions, flea markets, etc. To get stuff like cabinets that were odd lots or overstocked items. Then Way builders would build counter-tops to fit the cabinets. That was how we originally furnished most of the offices in the OSC in 1979. However, some who ran organizations in TWI were not corporately savvy enough to know to ASK for budget for their depts. I'm not shifting "blame" here, just calling it like I saw it. I'm hoping this illucidates the fact that Howard Allen was responsible for LEAD at the trustee level. HA, in my opinion, turned from the old foundation of small business thinking. When money finally starts rolling in from the business, you funnel it back to the business to build the business so the business can function properly to grow to its critical mass. I think they felt at the top that when the money started rolling in they could continue to run the ministry "on a shoestring and a prayer," attitude, being frugal and "careful" with capital expenditures. That "frugality" filled the coffers, legitimate ministry financial needs mere neglected. At least, indirectly, lives were lost. It is this way NOW, more than ever. Anyone with any knowledge of business finance, or even balancing the family check book can tell you this: When my two little "eatin' everything in sight" boys are not with me, I'm at least $25.00 richer that weekend because I don't have to feed them. ($25.00 = 1 trip to McDonalds, plus two days worth of snacks.) Not to mention, two days worth of clothing, water for bathing, soap, spatulas and scrubbing equipment to get the dirt from them, shampoo, hair products, brush, 20% of my rent for the extra room I need to house them; divided by 30 - multiplied by 2, a portion of electric, heat to run the playstation and computer they play on, two video games, one movie rental; AND my time spent playing with them, yelling at them (don't BREAK your brother's ARM), plus an hour of mental anguish from telling them "NO, we CAN'T eat at McDonalds EVERY meal Every day!" Then they say, "Ok Daddy... can we eat at Burger King then? All that goes to say, SIMILAR amount of money means less hungry ministries eatin' it up. Wanna challenge me on it? While we were suffering from our LEAD injuries. TWI was paying lawyers to fight the IRS for tax exempt status. It came out in the fallout fron POP that TWI ran up (make a loose fist with your right hand, stick out your pinky on that hand, put the pinky to the right corner of your mouth & repeat after me....) "Oone MILLION DOOllars... humm, humm humm." (catch that reference soulmates!) Earl Burton also lost, in a stock investment... humm..."Oone MILLION DOOllars... Coulda bought a truck.

About the truck... I may be able to speak with some authority on some things, the truck is not one of them. I'm a city kid, an artist, a "white collar worker." Some people in the Corps used to tease me when we did those workin' in the woods days cause I'd come out with color cordinated "work" clothes. Cracks me up. Sorry, this whole thread brings up lost of memories... Like, those of you whove been on LEAD will remember how, as the week went on people appearance would gradually decline and we'd become, quite the malodorus, dirty bunch. People playfully hated on me when I showed up at our final campfire in a clean, matching outfit, smelling like Grey Flannel. Donnie Smith was said that John Lynn and I were the only two people he ever saw go on LEAD and NOT get dirty! Anyways... It was a big, white Ford. I know enough about trucks now to know it had an extended bed and heavy duty suspension. It sat way up un the air on at least 20" wheels with big fat heavy duty knobby tires. It was probaby a late 70's model. You guy that know more about truck specs may be able to translate that into something more coherent. I'm not saying I don't know anything about vehicles, etc. I know a good bit. I'm just not a "Ford truck man" like the commercial says. I'm the guy who makes the commerical about the Ford truck man.

About the truck... I may be able to speak with some authority on some things, the truck is not one of them. I'm a city kid, an artist, a "white collar worker." Some people in the Corps used to tease me when we did those workin' in the woods days cause I'd come out with color cordinated "work" clothes. Cracks me up. Sorry, this whole thread brings up lost of memories... Like, those of you whove been on LEAD will remember how, as the week went on people appearance would gradually decline and we'd become, quite the malodorus, dirty bunch. People playfully hated on me when I showed up at our final campfire in a clean, matching outfit, smelling like Grey Flannel. Donnie Smith was said that John Lynn and I were the only two people he ever saw go on LEAD and NOT get dirty! Anyways... It was a big, white Ford. I know enough about trucks now to know it had an extended bed and heavy duty suspension. It sat way up un the air on at least 20" wheels with big fat heavy duty knobby tires. It was probaby a late 70's model. You guy that know more about truck specs may be able to translate that into something more coherent. I'm not saying I don't know anything about vehicles, etc. I know a good bit. I'm just not a "Ford truck man" like the commercial says. I'm the guy who makes the commerical about the Ford truck man.

TONTO!!!! DING, ! DING, ! DING, ! DING, ! DING, You got it man. In Living Color is one of if not the BEST comedy shows in television history. Coool.

I'm taking the pit bull lawyer thing under advisement. fo sure. Good question george. Easy answer. The spine when its "perfect" has 5 curves in it. Mine at its worst had only three. The difference in the 5 7/8' that was lost from compressing the discs between the vertebrae and the 3+ inches in actual height loss was made up by the fact that the middle curve of my spine actually straightened. Even though the entire length of the spine was less losing the curve mad it span more distance because it fit about three inces straighter inside my body. The loss of that curve (as seen from a side view) caused me to lean forward about six inches from "normal." It also leaned about four inces to my left. I'm now about 5'8" It confused me too at first. Especially since I'm an american ol' school inches guy kinda guy. When first told I didn't really have much concept of 100 millimeters. I picked up a pack of cigarettes, "100's." I almost flipped my lid when I realized HALF AGAIN AS LONG AS THAT???? Geez. Unbelievable. I saw the x-rays though. While on the technical stuff. I read an article from the AMA once that listed 5000lbs/sq in. as the amount of force necessary to break a human femur, which is the strongest bone in the human body. The article said they used some sort of machine press to push down on femurs that were spanned between the two points of the press until they broke. Average was 5Klbs. Article read, "We don't know how much it would take to break a live one, we couldn't get any volunteers for the test." LOL!!!! I distinctly remember bouncing up and down on the bench type seat (no seat belt) and looking up out the windshield in slow motion and seeing a wall of dirt fill the screen, so to speak. Instinctively, I slammed my left hand. like a palm strike into the dashboard, and jammed my left knee at the same time into the dashboard and threw my right hand accross my face and kinda tucked to my left. The femur took the brunt of the blow and held me somewhat in place while my spine stretched, who knows how far, out then sprung back and stuck in the position described above. It also dislocated my left hip 6mm and my left shoulder. BTW. That part in PFAL about excruciating pain when something gets in a hip joint. Remember? Its true, plaguarized or no. occasionally, if I turn the wrong way, my hip will separate just a tad for an instant. Its excruciating all right.

That was supposed to be a SHORT lead in to... No. I didn't go LOA. I finished and graduated w/ my 11th bros & sisters. That was SOO important to me. Especially in light of all I'd been through that year. Even if I was wrong about the losing my life thing if I left the campus (I mean, I could "feel it comin' in the air tonite, Hold on..." it was wierd), but I'd surely at least lost some of myself that being an area coordinator in residence with the 12th, I don't think could replace. I just didn't NEED the top leadership spots in the Corps, for one thing. What I needed, desparately was to FINISH the course. I felt a real bond with my Corps. It was as simple ting to me. As stupid as it seems, seeing those guys at Corps Week with a different number on their nametag than mine was really unacceptable to me at the time. I think I know why they felt I wasn't "ready" to graduate. I also loved the whole LEAD thing. Had a great time, overall both times, all things considered. Dealing with my injuries from LEAD 104 has changed my life, FOR THE BETTER. Tell me, who knows pain & loss better? They say experience is the BEST teacher. Dealing with the everyday pain has added depth to my character than I am very thanful to GOD for. ALL things DO work together for good to ANY who loves God and is called according to his purpose. I was also in LEAD 50. No catchy theme, that I remember, no spectacular, gut wrenching story. Just a few wild a$$ kids runnin' round the wilderness for a few days in the summer of 81. What did happen though was that I got sick. I have a touch of asthma. The thinner air at altitude did a number on me and I lost a LOT of strength, etc. Couldn't breathe that well. I was one of the hotshots they put on the #10 rated climbs. On one of the last days of Climbing I wasn't feeling well enough to climb. I just couldn't throw this tricky move to get started on this climb rated a 12 or someting. I tried & tried & tried & my strength went, went, & went. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to do it. I did the unthinkable. I asked to come down. I admitted to myself that I was never gonna be able to make the climb, couldn't even get started w/ falling off. I could hardly breathe. It wasn't until I came BACK to Tinnie two years later and encountered the same thing, loss of strength, inability to BREATHE, immune system failure, hypothermia, etc. AND then left LEAD that LATER, when I talked to one of my FIVE Chiropractors about my health history AND the DR. asked me, "How did you asthma do when you were way up there in altitude like that?" Huh? I said. Then the Dr. told me that thinner air at high altitude might effect me & sap my strength, effect my "performance." Personally speaking, It was a thousand times HARDER for me, the varsity football playing, wrestler, martial artist, who could run like the wind jock a$$ guy to have to ASK... "Can I come down?" "What?" "Come DOWN, I said." Etc. I though LEAD was about building character. I felt it took more character for me to admit & face and deal with DEFEAT than it would to climb that rock. There was nothing about LEAD harder than the first day of conditioning drills for football, or even the average wrestling practice. If you think LEAD was crazy, try three-a-days during the heat of August in Pennsylvania. Our coaches would MAKE us sprint 100 yards with someone equal or a little heavier than you riding on your back! They would run on our stomach's with CLEATS while we did "six inches" for 90 seconds. I would eat every other day during wrestling season to get my now 170+lb body down to 129lbs in order to go out on a mat with an ogre of a guy who wanted to tear my arms off! We called wrestling FUN. A guy once tore my arm off, Literally pulled the thing right out of the socket. We popped it back in & finished the match. Coming DOWN was infinately harder for me that going up. I'm thinking that made it on my LEAD evaluation and they "flagged me." On my interim year as a WOW Family Coordinator two of my three WOW's wound up leaving the field. The other, "Vanman Dave" lived most of the year in his van! That made my "evaluations" I'm sure. What didn't make the eval that year was how #1 WOW to leave the field came TO the WOW program with such deep seated emotional abuse problems he couldn't stand straight up. #2 Wow to leave was ex-military who literally believed I was a CIA plant in the WOW program assigned to watch him and at the right time, ASSASSINATE him in his sleep. It didn't make my evaluation that I learned to literally sleep with one eye open. Final year the LEAD accident. What Kevin said he needed to discuss with me was how there were "inconsistencies" on my evaluations. Some things were great, others were really bad, he said they wanted use the session to find out which was the "real" me. We were TALKING when we wrecked, not being grossly irresponsible, calluosly irrreverent of people's lives in the back. Yeah he was holding the paper over the steering wheel but he DID have both hands on the wheel. The wind DID pick up, SUDDENLY. The cross winds were rocking the truck. HE PUT THE PAPER DOWN so as to be able to hold the wheel more firmly without ripping the paper. Which he did scrunch a little holding on. We were "20 something" year old KIDS then. WE WERE IRRESPONSIBLE BY DEFINITION. There was no BOT or anything like that in the truck that day. It was ME and KEVIN. We were YOUNG, daring enough and yes, irresponsible enough to aloow him to try to read a little bit while driving. Youg as we were I believe Kevin was man enough to admit the part he played in that. I believe we both know it was NOT that LEAD 104 (GRRRRR........) accident that killed Rochelle. That's another story.

That was supposed to be a SHORT lead in to... No. I didn't go LOA. I finished and graduated w/ my 11th bros & sisters. That was SOO important to me. Especially in light of all I'd been through that year. Even if I was wrong about the losing my life thing if I left the campus (I mean, I could "feel it comin' in the air tonite, Hold on..." it was wierd), but I'd surely at least lost some of myself that being an area coordinator in residence with the 12th, I don't think could replace. I just didn't NEED the top leadership spots in the Corps, for one thing. What I needed, desparately was to FINISH the course. I felt a real bond with my Corps. It was as simple ting to me. As stupid as it seems, seeing those guys at Corps Week with a different number on their nametag than mine was really unacceptable to me at the time. I think I know why they felt I wasn't "ready" to graduate. I also loved the whole LEAD thing. Had a great time, overall both times, all things considered. Dealing with my injuries from LEAD 104 has changed my life, FOR THE BETTER. Tell me, who knows pain & loss better? They say experience is the BEST teacher. Dealing with the everyday pain has added depth to my character than I am very thanful to GOD for. ALL things DO work together for good to ANY who loves God and is called according to his purpose. I was also in LEAD 50. No catchy theme, that I remember, no spectacular, gut wrenching story. Just a few wild a$$ kids runnin' round the wilderness for a few days in the summer of 81. What did happen though was that I got sick. I have a touch of asthma. The thinner air at altitude did a number on me and I lost a LOT of strength, etc. Couldn't breathe that well. I was one of the hotshots they put on the #10 rated climbs. On one of the last days of Climbing I wasn't feeling well enough to climb. I just couldn't throw this tricky move to get started on this climb rated a 12 or someting. I tried & tried & tried & my strength went, went, & went. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to do it. I did the unthinkable. I asked to come down. I admitted to myself that I was never gonna be able to make the climb, couldn't even get started w/ falling off. I could hardly breathe. It wasn't until I came BACK to Tinnie two years later and encountered the same thing, loss of strength, inability to BREATHE, immune system failure, hypothermia, etc. AND then left LEAD that LATER, when I talked to one of my FIVE Chiropractors about my health history AND the DR. asked me, "How did you asthma do when you were way up there in altitude like that?" Huh? I said. Then the Dr. told me that thinner air at high altitude might effect me & sap my strength, effect my "performance." Personally speaking, It was a thousand times HARDER for me, the varsity football playing, wrestler, martial artist, who could run like the wind jock a$$ guy to have to ASK... "Can I come down?" "What?" "Come DOWN, I said." Etc. I though LEAD was about building character. I felt it took more character for me to admit & face and deal with DEFEAT than it would to climb that rock. There was nothing about LEAD harder than the first day of conditioning drills for football, or even the average wrestling practice. If you think LEAD was crazy, try three-a-days during the heat of August in Pennsylvania. Our coaches would MAKE us sprint 100 yards with someone equal or a little heavier than you riding on your back! They would run on our stomach's with CLEATS while we did "six inches" for 90 seconds. I would eat every other day during wrestling season to get my now 170+lb body down to 129lbs in order to go out on a mat with an ogre of a guy who wanted to tear my arms off! We called wrestling FUN. A guy once tore my arm off, Literally pulled the thing right out of the socket. We popped it back in & finished the match. Coming DOWN was infinately harder for me that going up. I'm thinking that made it on my LEAD evaluation and they "flagged me." On my interim year as a WOW Family Coordinator two of my three WOW's wound up leaving the field. The other, "Vanman Dave" lived most of the year in his van! That made my "evaluations" I'm sure. What didn't make the eval that year was how #1 WOW to leave the field came TO the WOW program with such deep seated emotional abuse problems he couldn't stand straight up. #2 Wow to leave was ex-military who literally believed I was a CIA plant in the WOW program assigned to watch him and at the right time, ASSASSINATE him in his sleep. It didn't make my evaluation that I learned to literally sleep with one eye open. Final year the LEAD accident. What Kevin said he needed to discuss with me was how there were "inconsistencies" on my evaluations. Some things were great, others were really bad, he said they wanted use the session to find out which was the "real" me. We were TALKING when we wrecked, not being grossly irresponsible, calluosly irrreverent of people's lives in the back. Yeah he was holding the paper over the steering wheel but he DID have both hands on the wheel. The wind DID pick up, SUDDENLY. The cross winds were rocking the truck. HE PUT THE PAPER DOWN so as to be able to hold the wheel more firmly without ripping the paper. Which he did scrunch a little holding on. We were "20 something" year old KIDS then. WE WERE IRRESPONSIBLE BY DEFINITION. There was no BOT or anything like that in the truck that day. It was ME and KEVIN. We were YOUNG, daring enough and yes, irresponsible enough to aloow him to try to read a little bit while driving. Youg as we were I believe Kevin was man enough to admit the part he played in that. I believe we both know it was NOT that LEAD 104 (GRRRRR........) accident that killed Rochelle. That's another story.

I agree that JAL is an A+ person, especially now. The most shocking thing to me, reading my Corps journal after all these years, is how much TWI changed me beyond what I felt I knew in my heart that it did. I was absolutely shocked that "our" John Lynn was throwing me out of the Corps like that. John was always warm even thoough he was tough. That first year with him as Corps Coordinator was "magical" in my opinion. JAL shaped us "11th Elite" into a real cohesive group. I think he was nazied into nazi'ing me & others. I was expressing the moment, not my entire experience w/ him nor how I feel about him overall. I always thought of John as the "Craig" LCM wanted to be but just couldn't reach. JAL embodied and personified The Way Corps better than Craig ever could. When I/we found out JAL was our Corps Coordinator, I was estatic. I knew him from a distance as he was the NorthEast Gegion Coordinator. He galvanized and, again in my opinion, helped create the mold for both Limb and Region Coordinators. There were other guys out there doin' it too, Ralph, Vince, Bo, Franklin, etc. (I didn't get to know most of the guys out west, only heard about them.) NO. I'm not worshippin' JAL, I just esteem him highly in love for the sake of the things I SAW him DO. I thought he was a bit of a spoiled brat at times, but hey, "takes one to know one... -->

No rascal, I don't mind somebody doing that.... I could figure it out, but I'm not touching all that. Right now I've gotta drop it like its hot. Agreed satori. Christian folk talk about life changing experiences all the time - - well..... When I looked at the current TWI financials posted somewhere in cyberspace, I was alarmed by how they are apparently getting a similar income level while supporting, I would estimate, a ministry about 15% of what it was when they were last at that income level. Where IS the money going? No, I'm not lookin' at grabbin' a big piece of it for me. What I'm lookin at is helpin you "innies" SEE how much they are raping YOU. If they did THIS to me, they are doing it to YOU... NOW. I know Rosalie R. worked for her for years @ HQ Harve Platig is my elder Corps. He was my research paper advisor during THIS SAME YEAR this thread was "living and REAL." I know these people, excetp for the "new" ones who came along after ROSALIE, threw me out of HQ staff. Do you really think I DIDN'T KNOW who was specifically behind my getting canned from HQ staff? I was THE SECOND person "purged" from staff. Another good friend of mine, Sal Scheccitano (sp?) was the FIRST. Sal is an EXTREMELY talented New Yorker. He had won the contest, beat out everybody, every pianist in TWI, to be the first official pianist for the WOW Auditorium. He has those New Yawk chops. When most were talking about all that was wrong @ HQ. Sal DID something about it. He went to his BIBLE. He specifically "worked the Word" about a specific list of things acknowledged as being "off the Word" at HQ. I was over at his house in St. Marys where we were talking about things & stuff. He told me he was going to Rosalie (she was our Trustee Cabinet member) utilizing "the way tree" and gonna "confront her lovingly, but firmly, with the WORD.... and see what she said about it. She ARGUED with Sal. She said she knew what "the Word said about those things, BUT. Those were Dr. Wierwille's ways and we just don't operate like that around here anymore." (Supply the accent, see if it doesn't sould EXACTLY like her. ) She also called John Linder, who armed with a 9mm FIREARM, and another equally armed "safety officer," immediately escorted Sal back to his office to clean out his desk, immediately, while they stood over him, allowed him no phone calls, even to his WIFE, and then kicked him off the property (which BTWAY belongs to EVERY believer, right?) and told him to NEVER come back. Innt she SWEET? Ms. Rivenbark, that is. Rosalie Rivenbark did not meet the BIBLICAL qualifications to be an elder in the church. SPECIFICALLY THIS one: How about Rosalie's way ward son? HE makes her DISqualified. Take the 3rd chapter of Timothy and hold it up point by point over the lives of your TWI "elders" past present and FUTURE. Its NOT a high school quiz, dammit, it IS God's "STANDARD" for "performance." If you don't hit them ALL you CAN NOT, (not MAY not) you can NOT be a leader in GOD's church. Period. We did "not rather mourn" (Icorinthians 5:2) our wronged brethren, so that "he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you. NOTICE. The "you" GOD focuses on is "WE" the rank & file believer not THEY, the "leadership." TWI says they refuse to believe certain widely accepted Christian doctrines because the word ________is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible. I just checked my Young's Analytical Concordence. Where is "leadership?" Can anybody tell me, couldn't find it. Hmmm....... Talk about your "private" interpretation. Some want to blast VPW for his sexual indescretions (me too BTW) well. While we're blastin away, I'm thinking a certain RR just MAY have been right in the middle of it??? If you drive down the road where her custom, Way Builders, built house is, its the only one with a 6ft fence that you can't see through at any angle as you go by. Its not the biggest, nicest, or most extravagant, just the most private. I guess its because she has a pool.

Hey gang. Thanks again for the kind words. I'm not gonna stop posting but I am gonna disconnect from reliving the story for a while. I think you can see why.... It has been really good for me, personally, to put this all together, examine it from, outside in, so to speak. Some pretty interesting things jumped out at me while doing it. So I wrote a song about it, Wanna hear it? Here it goes. (Anyone who catches THAT reference is my soulmate, for sure :)-->

No Vickles. They are not. In fact, they never really picked up any bill, their accident insurance for LEAD paid 'em. AND. They had some sleazy, fast talkin' insurance guy call me out of the clear blue sky and offer me a settlement. "I have a check right here for $$$$$.00 with you name on it, just say the word and it's in express mail to you. You'll have the money on two days in your hands. He said it was time sensitive because the statute of limitations was running out on TWI's liability to pay for my injuries. Of course, the end of the statue was imminent. The guy tried to get me to agree to a figure on tape, over the phone, on his FIRST phone call to me. At first I refused, telling him I neede to think about it, and talk it over with some people. I went to see Phil Skapura, head of TWi finance dept. Told Phil what was up. He said, "Maybe you should sign jusr sign the check when you get it. If he's right you don't have a whole lotta time." It got complicated. I was running into walls at ever turn. Next ime sleazy guy called I told him to send the check & I'd sign it. He also said they'd pay my existing bill since the last time it was paid (about $8,000). By signing the check that would release TWI from liability for the bills. I was TIRED of DEALING w/it. I was in so much pain then that I wore a T.E.N.S. (Transcutaneous Electrical, Nerve Stimulator to ease the pain enough for me to think at work. The money ran out. I bought a house for my family using part of it as a downpayment. I may still need a little treatment occasionally. But. I've progressed to the point where I can grab my 5yr old w/ one hand lift him up over my head. The 7 yr old requires two hands. I still have pain I still have to manage my back, or it will "get" me.

About Rochelle... and injuries I spent that year bouncing to every campus location, each block, different campus. Changing campuses, meant changing Chiropractors, changing chiropractors meant having my records transferred from state to state, having my records transferred meant explaining why I was moving to the Dr. Each Dr. thought it was wrong for them to move me because I was in real need of continuity of treatment. Each Dr. also wanted to finish the process and see me rehabilitated, healed from such a horrible injury. I was left to do all the explaining, all of the searching for another chiropractor who would continue my treatments in a fashion compatable with the prior one. The only saving grace for me & TWI in the eyes of the Dr.s was that TWI was footing the bills. The Chiropractor in Gunnison was the hardest to leave, he really cared for me as a human being, like a son. Ilearned a lot about the human body from those guys. Even some spiritaul stuff about healing & touch. Like I switched from this Dr. Todd Spieles in Minster, Oh. I could tell from the way his hands felt on my back that he didn't like me. After being handled with such great care from Dr. Coblentz in Gunnison and Dr. Cox in Rome City. The comparison was obvious. A little wierd but I could "just feel" it. His hands felt "cold" even when he rubbed warm oil on me. At the end of that inresidence year I was being nazied out of the corps. Same BS as lots of others. People would disappear on an almost weekly basis, as if an ugly LOA monster had eaten them while we all slept. Coincidentally, Don Wierwille was at Emporia for his regular visit doing ministry business the same day John Lynn had called me in telling me "The decision has been made that it is best for you and the ministry that you go LOA." I didn't think so. He chided me for "always being so argumentative." I argued & pushed back stronger. He switched up his tactic and told me, "Look, Howard. Lots of people go LOA all the time, its just a few months for you, you can come back in residence with the 12th Corps and you'll surely be one of the tip top guys in that group." I looked him square in the eyes. Hesitated. Took a deep breath and said. "Ok...." John smiled. I continued, "If in a couple of months I'll be AT the tip top of the 12th Corps guys I must be at least somewhere NEAR to top of the 11th Corps NOW. RIGHT???" His smile turned to a fierce glare and he said, "YOU, are outta here." in that snarly JAL style of his. Just tell us where you're going...by tomorrow. Come by my office tomorrow morning by 10 and tell me where you're going." He pivoted and did his patented JAL strut out the door. I went to see Don W at the trustee apartment, told him about my conversation w/JAL about LOA. I told Don how I felt in my heart that if I left the campus, I might wind up dead soon. He told me about Rochelle having been sent LOA with another gooe friend Kevin Webster. He blamed Kevin of some stuff that caused them both to be expelled from the program and left Rochelle depressed. "...She was found dead in a hotel earlier today son. It was an apparent suicide." I was devastated. The truth about Rochelle is... Basically Kevin W. said they had both been thrown out of the Corps. Rochelle was so distraught, that instead of leaving in the morning (sound familiar?), she insisted they leave then, that night, which was like 2 or 3 in the morning. She had been told to go live with her brother Al in Connecticutt. She had agreed to drop Kevin off at the limb of Indiana then come back and drive to CT. He said she was very depressed and the limb leaders didn't want her hanging around. They let her stay 2 or 3 days, then told her to go. The Limb Coordinator knew she was depressed. They kicked her out to drive, alone, from Indiana to CT. She made it as far as Columbus, Ohio, checked into a hotel, ALONE at around 5 or 5pm. She had saved up her pain pills from her lead injury and took them all that evening. They found her dead in the bathroom the next morning. Anyone who knew Rochelle (as someone said earlier up this thread) knew she was never the same after that head injury. No. Nobody, to my knowlege, got any type of specific professional counseling regarding trauma from the LEAD accident. They looked at me sideways about paying my bills. Nancy had some major dental bills. When I finally got back to Emporia for the last block of the year she smiled at me & flashed her pretty white teeth. My physical injuries were invisible, spinal misalignment, soft tissue damage (like, every disc in my entire spine was squished) nerve damage, stuff like that. Bob Moynihan and Rob Kehoe, WCC's at the Indiana campus accused meto my face of LYING about my injuries to get out of stupid household responsibilities like dishwashing. My back injury was so severe at one point that I had written, signed medical releases stating that I should not lift as much as 10 POUNDS. It started out at FIVE pounds in Gunnison. I had progressed up to 10 by the time I was at IC. I had real live Dr's, legally proper Dr. signed MEDICAL REPORTS AND X-RAYs showing the discs bulging, vertebre impinging on my nerves, my neck curving BACKWARDS from what normal is, front and back views showing curvature to the left. Not to mention PRESCRIPTIONS for pain medication and vitamin and mineral supplements. I was in agony every day since the accident and those assholes thought I just didn't want to do dishes and straighten chairs in the Chapel! __________________________ Can I stop now? LEAD 104 (Grrrrrrrrrr.........) was a nice place to visit but I don't wanna live there. ;)-->

About Rochelle... and injuries I spent that year bouncing to every campus location, each block, different campus. Changing campuses, meant changing Chiropractors, changing chiropractors meant having my records transferred from state to state, having my records transferred meant explaining why I was moving to the Dr. Each Dr. thought it was wrong for them to move me because I was in real need of continuity of treatment. Each Dr. also wanted to finish the process and see me rehabilitated, healed from such a horrible injury. I was left to do all the explaining, all of the searching for another chiropractor who would continue my treatments in a fashion compatable with the prior one. The only saving grace for me & TWI in the eyes of the Dr.s was that TWI was footing the bills. The Chiropractor in Gunnison was the hardest to leave, he really cared for me as a human being, like a son. Ilearned a lot about the human body from those guys. Even some spiritaul stuff about healing & touch. Like I switched from this Dr. Todd Spieles in Minster, Oh. I could tell from the way his hands felt on my back that he didn't like me. After being handled with such great care from Dr. Coblentz in Gunnison and Dr. Cox in Rome City. The comparison was obvious. A little wierd but I could "just feel" it. His hands felt "cold" even when he rubbed warm oil on me. At the end of that inresidence year I was being nazied out of the corps. Same BS as lots of others. People would disappear on an almost weekly basis, as if an ugly LOA monster had eaten them while we all slept. Coincidentally, Don Wierwille was at Emporia for his regular visit doing ministry business the same day John Lynn had called me in telling me "The decision has been made that it is best for you and the ministry that you go LOA." I didn't think so. He chided me for "always being so argumentative." I argued & pushed back stronger. He switched up his tactic and told me, "Look, Howard. Lots of people go LOA all the time, its just a few months for you, you can come back in residence with the 12th Corps and you'll surely be one of the tip top guys in that group." I looked him square in the eyes. Hesitated. Took a deep breath and said. "Ok...." John smiled. I continued, "If in a couple of months I'll be AT the tip top of the 12th Corps guys I must be at least somewhere NEAR to top of the 11th Corps NOW. RIGHT???" His smile turned to a fierce glare and he said, "YOU, are outta here." in that snarly JAL style of his. Just tell us where you're going...by tomorrow. Come by my office tomorrow morning by 10 and tell me where you're going." He pivoted and did his patented JAL strut out the door. I went to see Don W at the trustee apartment, told him about my conversation w/JAL about LOA. I told Don how I felt in my heart that if I left the campus, I might wind up dead soon. He told me about Rochelle having been sent LOA with another gooe friend Kevin Webster. He blamed Kevin of some stuff that caused them both to be expelled from the program and left Rochelle depressed. "...She was found dead in a hotel earlier today son. It was an apparent suicide." I was devastated. The truth about Rochelle is... Basically Kevin W. said they had both been thrown out of the Corps. Rochelle was so distraught, that instead of leaving in the morning (sound familiar?), she insisted they leave then, that night, which was like 2 or 3 in the morning. She had been told to go live with her brother Al in Connecticutt. She had agreed to drop Kevin off at the limb of Indiana then come back and drive to CT. He said she was very depressed and the limb leaders didn't want her hanging around. They let her stay 2 or 3 days, then told her to go. The Limb Coordinator knew she was depressed. They kicked her out to drive, alone, from Indiana to CT. She made it as far as Columbus, Ohio, checked into a hotel, ALONE at around 5 or 5pm. She had saved up her pain pills from her lead injury and took them all that evening. They found her dead in the bathroom the next morning. Anyone who knew Rochelle (as someone said earlier up this thread) knew she was never the same after that head injury. No. Nobody, to my knowlege, got any type of specific professional counseling regarding trauma from the LEAD accident. They looked at me sideways about paying my bills. Nancy had some major dental bills. When I finally got back to Emporia for the last block of the year she smiled at me & flashed her pretty white teeth. My physical injuries were invisible, spinal misalignment, soft tissue damage (like, every disc in my entire spine was squished) nerve damage, stuff like that. Bob Moynihan and Rob Kehoe, WCC's at the Indiana campus accused meto my face of LYING about my injuries to get out of stupid household responsibilities like dishwashing. My back injury was so severe at one point that I had written, signed medical releases stating that I should not lift as much as 10 POUNDS. It started out at FIVE pounds in Gunnison. I had progressed up to 10 by the time I was at IC. I had real live Dr's, legally proper Dr. signed MEDICAL REPORTS AND X-RAYs showing the discs bulging, vertebre impinging on my nerves, my neck curving BACKWARDS from what normal is, front and back views showing curvature to the left. Not to mention PRESCRIPTIONS for pain medication and vitamin and mineral supplements. I was in agony every day since the accident and those assholes thought I just didn't want to do dishes and straighten chairs in the Chapel! __________________________ Can I stop now? LEAD 104 (Grrrrrrrrrr.........) was a nice place to visit but I don't wanna live there. ;)-->

The shipped me off to Camp Gunnison when the block changed. Didn't like that either, I wanted to stay together w/the injured 104'ers. Lost track of them changing blocks. Not too long into the block. Joe Pascarelli poked me in the hip, like "doink!" I was having real trouble by now sitting on soft seats, so during twig one night I was sitting on the arm of a big easy chair. Joe was sitting in the chair when he poked me. I nearly jumped through the ceiling with the pain. When I finally landed Joe said, "Your hip is out of joint." "What?" Joe had been a Chiropractic assistant in a prior life. He told me that he poked me "right there" to see if I would jump. When I did he said he was 100% sure my hip was dislocated and I'd better get my butt to a Chiropractor, like right now. I got it cleared to go & TWI said they'd pick up the bill cause it was related to the accident. The Chiropractor, after his exam and x-rays told me that: 1. My spine which normally has five curves now had only three. 2. My atlas bone at the top of my neck was dislocated. (In other words, my head wasn't on straight.) 3. My left hip was 6mm out of the socket. 4. Right hip, 1mm out of socket. 5. My left shoulder was dislocated also. 6. Overall my spine had been compacted 150 mm. Where I was about 5'9," I was now 5'5 1/4." He asked me what had happened to me. I told him about the accident. Based on the injuries, he told me that I had recieved a blow of about 5000lbs per sqare inch. My spine had stretched way out like a rubber band and snapped back and stuck in the position it was in, hunched foreward and bent to my left. "That blow should have killed you." I've seen many other corpses who died of blows much less than this. This is incredible" he said. "A miracle maybe?" I said. He said he didn't know about a miracle, he had a son about my age and he would take care of me the way he would want to have his own son taken care of if he were as far from home as me. I figured THAT itself was a miracle. That started a rehab process for my back, neck, hips and shoulder that took over 10 years and cost somewhere around $30,000.

The shipped me off to Camp Gunnison when the block changed. Didn't like that either, I wanted to stay together w/the injured 104'ers. Lost track of them changing blocks. Not too long into the block. Joe Pascarelli poked me in the hip, like "doink!" I was having real trouble by now sitting on soft seats, so during twig one night I was sitting on the arm of a big easy chair. Joe was sitting in the chair when he poked me. I nearly jumped through the ceiling with the pain. When I finally landed Joe said, "Your hip is out of joint." "What?" Joe had been a Chiropractic assistant in a prior life. He told me that he poked me "right there" to see if I would jump. When I did he said he was 100% sure my hip was dislocated and I'd better get my butt to a Chiropractor, like right now. I got it cleared to go & TWI said they'd pick up the bill cause it was related to the accident. The Chiropractor, after his exam and x-rays told me that: 1. My spine which normally has five curves now had only three. 2. My atlas bone at the top of my neck was dislocated. (In other words, my head wasn't on straight.) 3. My left hip was 6mm out of the socket. 4. Right hip, 1mm out of socket. 5. My left shoulder was dislocated also. 6. Overall my spine had been compacted 150 mm. Where I was about 5'9," I was now 5'5 1/4." He asked me what had happened to me. I told him about the accident. Based on the injuries, he told me that I had recieved a blow of about 5000lbs per sqare inch. My spine had stretched way out like a rubber band and snapped back and stuck in the position it was in, hunched foreward and bent to my left. "That blow should have killed you." I've seen many other corpses who died of blows much less than this. This is incredible" he said. "A miracle maybe?" I said. He said he didn't know about a miracle, he had a son about my age and he would take care of me the way he would want to have his own son taken care of if he were as far from home as me. I figured THAT itself was a miracle. That started a rehab process for my back, neck, hips and shoulder that took over 10 years and cost somewhere around $30,000.

I was being facetious about Sue. She's one of the sweetest of our whole roudy a$$ bunch. -------------------------- At the scene they asked everyone in great detail about what injuries that had. They tried to get me to go to the hospital, I refused to go. I really didn't think I was hurt, just banged up. I played football in High School, I was a rough, tough wrestler too. "Playing through pain" is part of how I've been brainwashed since I was a little kid. I had no broken bones, just a few cuts, none that required stitches even. It did take three days to get the broken windshield glass out of my hair - even after showering and scrubbing. Some sweet corps sistahs sat me down & picked it out for me. It was upsetting to me how we didn't get to go to the hospital to visit people in Tinnie. Craig went. He reported to us his POV on how ther were doing. I wanted to look them in the eyes - apologise, hug them, cry with them. Pump em up - - whatever. All we got to do was sit around the LEAD lodge for a couple of days. Those who could did some work around the lodge. I got a big rock or a piece of a log, maybe it was. Whatever it was I cleaned it up and calligraphed our LEAD 104 theme on it. My arms and my legs are like steel, My hands are like vice grips, My feet are like hind's feet, And my mind is like Christ's. I CAN do ALL things! LEAD 104 (GRRRRRRRrrrr....) We presented it to Donnie & the LEAD Staff to memorialize the session.

I was being facetious about Sue. She's one of the sweetest of our whole roudy a$$ bunch. -------------------------- At the scene they asked everyone in great detail about what injuries that had. They tried to get me to go to the hospital, I refused to go. I really didn't think I was hurt, just banged up. I played football in High School, I was a rough, tough wrestler too. "Playing through pain" is part of how I've been brainwashed since I was a little kid. I had no broken bones, just a few cuts, none that required stitches even. It did take three days to get the broken windshield glass out of my hair - even after showering and scrubbing. Some sweet corps sistahs sat me down & picked it out for me. It was upsetting to me how we didn't get to go to the hospital to visit people in Tinnie. Craig went. He reported to us his POV on how ther were doing. I wanted to look them in the eyes - apologise, hug them, cry with them. Pump em up - - whatever. All we got to do was sit around the LEAD lodge for a couple of days. Those who could did some work around the lodge. I got a big rock or a piece of a log, maybe it was. Whatever it was I cleaned it up and calligraphed our LEAD 104 theme on it. My arms and my legs are like steel, My hands are like vice grips, My feet are like hind's feet, And my mind is like Christ's. I CAN do ALL things! LEAD 104 (GRRRRRRRrrrr....) We presented it to Donnie & the LEAD Staff to memorialize the session.

Yes. Sue Blackmore was LEAD 104 (GRRRRRrrrr...) too. Didn't you think she was weak? My kids is all wonderful in various wonderful ways.

At lunch at Emporia Craig "shared" about the accident during the announcements. I was sitting way in the back across the lunchroom from the head table. Craig went on and on about it then said something to the effect of what happened to cause the crash. I perked up to hear what he had to say about it seeing as I knew that Kevin and I were the only ones who really knew what happened. He said something about the wind. "There were two sudden, simultaneously powerful gusts of wind. One from the left then another from the right that picked up the trailer and swung it around one way then immediately back the other way. The trailer pulled the truck to one side. When the driver tried to correct the skid, he overcorrected and the truck went off the road and crashed into a ravine...." I didn't hear another word he said after that and forgot everything he said prior to it. I was already hating him on the one hand for causing us to miss seeing the crash site. I was listening to him for some closure. I guess I thought he'd somehow give us some validation or vindication about it. He had led up to this big spiritual conclusion about how the devil had attacked us and was trying to destroy the Corps program, using LEAD to do it. He was back on his "principle" and "hit us where we were vulnerable" rant. I was incensed. We LEAD 104 guys knew we WERE heroes. We had sucessfully faced the single biggest disaster in the history of TWI. We felt that God's hand of protection WAS on us, especially in light of what Kevin & I knew was OBVIOUSLY a MAJOR mistake. Fractions of inches, split seconds & stuff like that saved people's lives. The instant the crash occurred, MY 11th & 13th Corps brothers & sisters turned the tragedy into one of the finest rescue operations you'll ever see. It went like clockwork. While I was there, struggling to retain my sanity, there was at least one of the WEAKEST of the Corps PRAYING and comforting EVERY injured person. WE scrambled to aid the paramedics. Every time ANYBODY said go here, grab this, help with that peopl were on it like flies on excrement. It was great. That day LEAD 104 lived up to an exceeded EVERY lofty ideal ever spoken about The Way Corps. There could have been mass confusion and hysteria but NOBODY freaked out even the people in intense pain were calm and cooperative. No cussing, no arguing, no nothing but true and sincere caring for one another. I felt, "Who in the, blankety, blank, blank, BlankBlank, blank does he think he IS? How could he possibly know that?" Then he said that the people in the traing truck had told they saw the trailer bouncing and whipping the truck around like a rag doll. I was incensed. It seemed like a million people asked, "what happened? Was it like Craig said?" I actually found myself going along with that "super wind from hell" story for a while. I had to put together a very edited version of what happened to tell people anyways. Just the though of repeating it over and over and over and over tore away at my brain. I couldn't believe he said that, but part of me kinda believed it 'cause I kinda convinced myself that Kevin & I ddidn't know what had actually happened. It DID seem strange that when he tried to bring the truck back on the road, it seemed like all hell broke loose all of a sudden. Then we were staring at a wall of dirt and in an instant flying into the windshield. At this point I hated Craig for what he said. Not that I wanted any notariety for being in the front seat, having "the best seat in the house" at such a huge thing. I did think I was more qualified to tell people what happened there than Craig. Didn't like it that I didn't speak up more. By now I was in a LOT of pain. I could hardly sit, it hurt like hell to lay down. The pain was so bad I couldn't sleep. I was having flashbacks when I was awake. I couldn't stay awake in class, where sitting was uncomfortable anyways. He turned it into another "Craig thing." He made himself the authority about it never having spoken to me about it. I don't know if he talked to Kevin. By now I just wanted it to be OVER.

At lunch at Emporia Craig "shared" about the accident during the announcements. I was sitting way in the back across the lunchroom from the head table. Craig went on and on about it then said something to the effect of what happened to cause the crash. I perked up to hear what he had to say about it seeing as I knew that Kevin and I were the only ones who really knew what happened. He said something about the wind. "There were two sudden, simultaneously powerful gusts of wind. One from the left then another from the right that picked up the trailer and swung it around one way then immediately back the other way. The trailer pulled the truck to one side. When the driver tried to correct the skid, he overcorrected and the truck went off the road and crashed into a ravine...." I didn't hear another word he said after that and forgot everything he said prior to it. I was already hating him on the one hand for causing us to miss seeing the crash site. I was listening to him for some closure. I guess I thought he'd somehow give us some validation or vindication about it. He had led up to this big spiritual conclusion about how the devil had attacked us and was trying to destroy the Corps program, using LEAD to do it. He was back on his "principle" and "hit us where we were vulnerable" rant. I was incensed. We LEAD 104 guys knew we WERE heroes. We had sucessfully faced the single biggest disaster in the history of TWI. We felt that God's hand of protection WAS on us, especially in light of what Kevin & I knew was OBVIOUSLY a MAJOR mistake. Fractions of inches, split seconds & stuff like that saved people's lives. The instant the crash occurred, MY 11th & 13th Corps brothers & sisters turned the tragedy into one of the finest rescue operations you'll ever see. It went like clockwork. While I was there, struggling to retain my sanity, there was at least one of the WEAKEST of the Corps PRAYING and comforting EVERY injured person. WE scrambled to aid the paramedics. Every time ANYBODY said go here, grab this, help with that peopl were on it like flies on excrement. It was great. That day LEAD 104 lived up to an exceeded EVERY lofty ideal ever spoken about The Way Corps. There could have been mass confusion and hysteria but NOBODY freaked out even the people in intense pain were calm and cooperative. No cussing, no arguing, no nothing but true and sincere caring for one another. I felt, "Who in the, blankety, blank, blank, BlankBlank, blank does he think he IS? How could he possibly know that?" Then he said that the people in the traing truck had told they saw the trailer bouncing and whipping the truck around like a rag doll. I was incensed. It seemed like a million people asked, "what happened? Was it like Craig said?" I actually found myself going along with that "super wind from hell" story for a while. I had to put together a very edited version of what happened to tell people anyways. Just the though of repeating it over and over and over and over tore away at my brain. I couldn't believe he said that, but part of me kinda believed it 'cause I kinda convinced myself that Kevin & I ddidn't know what had actually happened. It DID seem strange that when he tried to bring the truck back on the road, it seemed like all hell broke loose all of a sudden. Then we were staring at a wall of dirt and in an instant flying into the windshield. At this point I hated Craig for what he said. Not that I wanted any notariety for being in the front seat, having "the best seat in the house" at such a huge thing. I did think I was more qualified to tell people what happened there than Craig. Didn't like it that I didn't speak up more. By now I was in a LOT of pain. I could hardly sit, it hurt like hell to lay down. The pain was so bad I couldn't sleep. I was having flashbacks when I was awake. I couldn't stay awake in class, where sitting was uncomfortable anyways. He turned it into another "Craig thing." He made himself the authority about it never having spoken to me about it. I don't know if he talked to Kevin. By now I just wanted it to be OVER.

Since the train was off track... My 5 year old Bradley was among the honorees in his kindergarten class. He was on the Principal's Honor Roll and also got a certificate for perfect attendance. We had fun. His luncheon meal was a burger, baked beans & some tater chips, thank you.

The Ambassador One flight crew treated us like dignitaries, heroes or something. I remember people at the airport looking at us like "what the hey?" Who ARE these people? People on crutches, arms in slings, heads wrapped, other bandages, etc. Even boarding the plane was a "thing." They played an in flight movie, people shared on the microphone about the LEAD session. It was cool. I declined the chance to speak & let others talk about it, mainly because I was writing in this journal. Craig talked but I honestly don't remember a word he said. We cheered when Fr@nk Card%llo, the Amb1 pilot announced were doing a fly-by, circling the campus at Emporia. He tipped the wings of the plane so we could see there were people out on the grounds waving at the plane. I cried - again. Earlier that morning we were in that far away, stange land, Twighlight Zone. Now we're circling above the 40 acres, our "home" for now, The Way College of Emporia. We landed super smoothly on Kansas soil and there was an entourage and caravan from the college waiting. They gave us a standing ovation as we disembarked. It was heartwarming. At the campus they had all of the Corps, Staff & College Division line the circle drive to welcome us home like heroes. That was nice too. I didn't feel like no stinking hero. I shook a few hands, gave and received a few hugs, went and collapsed on my bed in my room. We were given the rest of the day off. I slept most of it.

The Ambassador One flight crew treated us like dignitaries, heroes or something. I remember people at the airport looking at us like "what the hey?" Who ARE these people? People on crutches, arms in slings, heads wrapped, other bandages, etc. Even boarding the plane was a "thing." They played an in flight movie, people shared on the microphone about the LEAD session. It was cool. I declined the chance to speak & let others talk about it, mainly because I was writing in this journal. Craig talked but I honestly don't remember a word he said. We cheered when Fr@nk Card%llo, the Amb1 pilot announced were doing a fly-by, circling the campus at Emporia. He tipped the wings of the plane so we could see there were people out on the grounds waving at the plane. I cried - again. Earlier that morning we were in that far away, stange land, Twighlight Zone. Now we're circling above the 40 acres, our "home" for now, The Way College of Emporia. We landed super smoothly on Kansas soil and there was an entourage and caravan from the college waiting. They gave us a standing ovation as we disembarked. It was heartwarming. At the campus they had all of the Corps, Staff & College Division line the circle drive to welcome us home like heroes. That was nice too. I didn't feel like no stinking hero. I shook a few hands, gave and received a few hugs, went and collapsed on my bed in my room. We were given the rest of the day off. I slept most of it.

I think I've only laid eyes on Kevin maybe twice since I last left Tinnie. We may have chatted at the next Corps week or something. We never really talked much about the crash aside from the night of or maybe the day after when he showed me a bruise on his chest in the shape of the steering wheel. You could almost read the Ford logo on it. I don't know the answers to the rest. I sincerely hope Kevin heard about Rochelle before now. I never felt any compulsion to talk w/ kevin about the accident. I feel like we "had a moment" inside the cab before the others from the other truck got to us. Replaying the events of the crash in my head about a billion times since then; I think we were both knocked unconscious upon impact with the windshield. No. We weren't wearing seatbelts. I have no real recollection from the smashing windshield around my face & head & falling/flopping until sounds/lights of people yelling & footsteps hitting metal. At one point during all that melee we turned and looked at each other, our eyes sorta locked together - - in - a - - - MOMENT. We didn't say a word to each other, beyond "you ok???" I looked at the blood on his head & hands, I saw some blood on my right hand. It was like, 'nothing broken - - let's GO! We just climbed out of the truck as fast as we could skinny through the window. He went one way I went the other. I felt a "connection" w/ him, right then... hard to explain. People were hurting, they needed help, there wasn't a second to waste. We've all probably, heard of this "God gear" thing. That day could make a good case for it. I actually thought I wasn't injured beyond a few cuts on my hand & being "a little banged up." He probably felt the same way. Looking back, I think we were ALL severely traumatized by what we saw that day.