HCW

The wind gust hit the truck AS he was grasping the paper with BOTH hands firmly on the steering wheel, eyes on the road. WE both went like, whoa! when the wind caused the truck to shudder and the trailer to hop...to the left so that the truck moved to the right. In realizing he had "blown it" in terms of responsibility to be as careful as possible with the lives in the back of the truck, Kevin Smith IMMEDIATELY put the paper down. He was not holding the paper when another gust of wind moved the truck over closer to the (in the same manner) side of the road where the wheel was on the edge of the road. To stabilize the truck, Kevin did the same thing I was taught in an ADVANCED driving class. He steered to the right and put both wheels on the right side of the truck onto the shoulder. Once it stabilized with the left wheels on the road and the right ones OFF the road. Kevin then made a move, in the correct manner to get the truck back onto the road. At his point I relaxed because it seemed like Kevin knew what he was doing. The right front wheel came up, back came up, then all hell broke loose and we were fishtailing to the left. The trailer bounced more than it normally would because of the gusting wind. It hopped and was airborne for an instant. I remember hearing the CHIRP! of it's wheels hitting the road when it landed. The truck was heading to a perpendicular position with the front pointing to the the right and the back was heading towards the left. Had Kevin not had enough driving skill and poise and arm strength to correct a 50mph skid with at least a ton of people in the bed, while pulling a trailer loaded with about 8 or 900lbs... the truck would have ROLLED and God only knows how many, if not ALL, of us would have been killed in the most gory way imaginable. I paraphrased all of that when I originally posted the account of the crash. If one looks carefully, its in there, though.

It's about focus. What and where an individual places his focus. Is what I'm talking to at times here. The simplicity, in terms of responsibility, is that the driver of a vehicle that crashes is, basically, responsible for the crash. What I wrore about the crash CLEARLY indicated that Kevin was RESPONSIBLE for the crash, as the driver. I feel I clearly related factors contributing to the crash tha made that clear. THEN. I said, (all things considered) I don't BLAME Kevin for the crash. THEN rather than seeing in my words that I was actually saying, BLAME, as in point the finger; I DIDN'T and DON'T ...no, none of THAT has ever nor WILL it ever pass from ME to Kevin. Nobody in the entire world was closer to the center of RESPONSIBILITY for that crash, nobody closer to Kevin concerning that than ME. There is a moral and ethical, "God breathed" equity provided to those who "were there" in any thing, ANYwhere where you were when whatever IT was that happened. God called it and our US legal system recognizes it and calls it WITNESS. As a witness you not only have MORE "equity," you have the highest level authority to speak on it. More and Higher than ANYONE who was NOT a witness. ------------- That being said; I'm talking about focus satori. Not only yours but what I see as a pattern here on GS. Here's how I see it. The body of my recounting "What Happened?" made it crystal clear that Kevin was in the responsible position for the crash. It seemed, however, that when I said something POSITIVE about him you bum-rushed me. It appears to me that there are some who focus on controlling whatever positives are spoken concerning TWI. Positive words about twi principles are met with a sunami wave of contempt and the overall positive message of a post or a portion of a post is swept away in the name of, figuratively speaking, "TWI, never was, is not now, nor will ever be good in any way shape or form." People who recount good experiences in the midst of an admittedly BAD situation. Are MARKED as Wierwille worshippers. Their positive words are "avoided" and buried in deep in the thread as the wave of contempt washes in, crests, then washes out. It seems that at times, in some areas, some FOCUS on making sure everyone knows GS is an ANTI twi site (and you ain't gonna do nothing to change it buddy.) Ok. So its an anti TWI site. TWI was a bad ride and no matter how one looks at it evidence compels that it be acknowedged, in a word, BAD. I don't have a problem with that. What I've seen in my brief stint, so far, here at GS, is that since I have a basically positive spin on my recounting of events and say positive things about "leadership." People focus on that and question: A shadow of hypocracy is cast upon me: Hmmm.... makes me wonder. There are a few things that MY focus sees as 'telling' I'll try to relate them. 1. I even used the SAME word as you: BLAME. You apparently felt it necessasty to clarify for me, that my statement, "Of course...he should have been MORE careful" than he was, didn't go far enough so as to indicate "responsibility." I simply attempted to clarify that there were other contributing factors to the crash that were not whatever "EVIL" twi was up to at the time. It seems to me that since I didn't say 'he was responsible" the way you would have, you bum-rushed me. I see a pattern to that effect that is not limited to any one person, satori. It seems to me that in the bum-rush you ran right by MY intent of that post, which was positive. My primary intent is to heal and help any in any way I can to heal. Kevin Smith. In full realization of his RESPONSIBILITY for the people whom he was driving down the road, realized (we both did) he was doing something STUPID in holding the evaluation form over the steering wheel. Kevin Smith; had not tried to read the form before we crashed. He had just picked it up, in one hand then the other. I handed it to him because he was driving.

AFTER any accident, one can look back and make a statement as to what could have been done to make all the difference. It is easy to point a finger at what Kevin was doing with the evaluation form and say "...if you wouldn't have done that..." My point was this; The WRECK was an accident. An unintentional act. Unfortunately millions are injured and killed on our US highways. each and every day someone is doing something they should not be doing wile driving and an accident insues. I was involed with an accident one when a car proceeded to run a redlight at the precise time I was legally, un-distracted, completely unemcumbered in any way, proceeding through the green light. Had I proceeded one second later I could have stopped my vehicle and not had it totaled and myself injured. Had I proceeded a fraction of a second earlier (traveling aproximately 40 feet/second) the other car, rather than hitting mime at the front tip, would have hit me broadside on the driverside door & I might have been killed. The impact was sufficient to bend my car, it would have certainly crushed the door had it hit there. How many times, how many ways have I said, it just wasn't smart to hold the paper like that? What I see is how when it is a TWI official who did something that resulted in others getting hurt. The level of criticism from SOME comes down like a load of bricks. People examine it it to the N'th degree with a completely unbending HE was WRONG perspective. I NEVER SAID HE WAS RIGHT TO DO THAT. I JUST SAID THAT THE WRECK WAS AN ACCIDENT. The single contributing factor to the CRASH was where we were in relation to the ditch. Other factors realte to putting us in proximity to the ditch. It is a phallacy of logic in terms of maturity to expect a 20-something year old person to be MORE responsible that one would expect of a person that age. Young people do stupid things, period. The CRASH had more to do with youthful immaturity than any cult retoric. Regardless of how valid the cult retoric may be. You simply cannot connect the crash to VPW/LCM or anything that was wrong w/TWI. Of course there were contributing factor that led up to us sitting in the truck and Kevin putting that form over the steering wheel. It wasn't "mind control" it was stupid kid stuff. Yeah I felt (past tense) kinda responsible. THAT is a natural psychological reaction to witnessing trauma. "If ONLY I had snatched the thing from his hands! SCREW my evaluation You're endangering LIVES buddy!" I COULD have done that. In my OWN trauma my mind ran at least a thousand scenarios where I would have taken some action which COULD have prevented the crash. The action I CHOSE contributed to the crash only insomuch that it didn't SPECIFICALLY prevent it. We both knew better. We didn't DO better. Our beloved friends AND KEVIN and I suffer more from what we DIDN'T do than from what we did do. For had we DONE pretty much ANYTHING different than what we BOTH did...the approximately 73 feet/second may have put us about 100 feet prior to or after the ditch. The wind was a constant. The trailer, its weight and the towing capacity of the truck - all constants. Our speed was the variable that put us at the location of the ditch. Had we even left a second or two earlier or later. Good GOD there are millions of alternative scenarios. I don't BLAME Kevin for the crash any more than I BLAME my children when they spill their juice. His actions that day regarding whatever level of distraction to his driving are no different to me than whatever causes my kids to spill stuff or drop things they are carrying. The contributing factor is the same. A natural lack of maturity.

that was to you satori, the second part above. One more caviot for you to adress. What I'm really trying to express in some of this is that I'm beyond the blame piece. I don't blame Kevin. I blame the devil. As Linda Z intimated, the bottom line here, I think, is that we were ALL, in some way "...drawn away of our OWN lusts, inticed...."

I understand Jim, you had no way of knowing my peeves. Of course we can discuss this & even debate it if need be. It's not me giving you the chance, you have every right to post at will whether I like what you say or not. If our viewpoints oppose, it will be food for though for anyone else. I don't entirely disagree with you. Wasn't entirely addressing you, I'm not good enough to express perfectly, so lets have it it, AS FRIENDs or brothers would. Hope you've had a good family day when you get back here. I'm off to church with the boys, myself.

Riding in the truck like that definately was not the thing to do. We were young, it was a beautiful day, we did a stupid thing, many got hurt. Not trivializing, just paraphrasing. The reason I get upset about the things I mentioned is that there is a CLEAR OBSERVATION, a pattern I've seen in EVERY one of their diatribes. Inaccuracy. They jump on a point of inaccuracy. Or they interpret something beyond the writer's intent....inaccurately. Then its off to the races they zoom right past the realities of which they speak into their own brand of insanity. Then people follow them because SOME of what they say IS accurate. SOME of it is factual. Some of it IS very good. I've even learned from it. I don't hate 'em nor am I hatin' on them. I trust we can fight this stuff out like family. I think we should engage it passionately til every shard of TWI BS is completely purged from ALL of our systems. MINE included. This cult stuff is some really DEEP dang. Some of us were in it way over our heads. Some us us have DIED from the dang. PLEAS understand I'm mad ABOUT that. Not mad ant any of you/US. I'm always on the lookout for what I view to be the KEY, the most insidious thing about CULT crap of every variety. I call it "package statements." Really learned this from my last (LOL) x-WIFE (ROFL)! We all know the cult leaders use the mushroom theory of mind control, right? This thread is a CLASSIC example. of how they "Keep you in the dark and feed you ....." like a mushroom. ______________________________________________ The evil X (heh, heh, heh) would "flip the lightswitch" to "off" and start feeding me ...., like, "I'm going out with my friends tonite." OK. I would say. Then I'd flip on the switch thinking, "hmmmm, its dark in here." "I'll get a sitter & come along. We had a LOT of fun last time WE were out with your friends." "Oh. You don't wanna go..." click! darkness. Rememeber that place you hate so much? We're going there? AND Laura, who you said you hated, SssssHhhhEEEEEeeee'ssssss coming too." Pull out my flashlight, click. I focus the beam on what she just said, aha! "Package statement." A package statement gets you to accept their .... because they hand you a package you can accept. You may like the wrapper. You may accept that it LOOKS like a gift. You may AGREE that you don't like the place they're headed. Upon a full review of the content of the package there's some STINKY STUFF in there! ..... You bought it. EVEN paid for it. Even kissed her lyin' cheatin' foot on the cheek cause YOU cared enough on your own not to mess up her lipstick. Then You give her PERMISSION to screw you over. "Ok then. Have a good time! Tell Laura I said Hi! (cause you really don't hate her, just didn't like how you saw HER treat HER husband & mentioned it to YOUR wife in confidence.) You stay home & watch Sportcenter about seven times while she's out using YOUR money to buy drinks for her boyfriend before she drives him in YOUR car to his dude's place (he lives with his Momma, BTW) to screw him there. SLAP! Thanks. I had to pull up . Do you see it though? I originally posted on Trancechat back in like, 88/89, as KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. I that handle is a little to "in your face" for this setting. The adage still applies at times. There is a level one simplicity underneath all of this crap. ANY terminology of any kind takes people to at least "LEVEL TWO." Level one is "not even a fool could err in." Level two is "the 'term' means something other or additional to the actual words that make up the term. The longer the term, the more evil stuff THEY can cram into your head. The terms are like wedges that crack your mind open. They either need a LOT of terms or a few big honkin' ones to crack you brain wide enough so they can "drive a truck through it." Plus. The more ambiguous the term, the harder - and longer your brain will work to make sense of it. Working longer, harder hours tires the brain, wears down the defenses. Soon the brain gives up and even, in a 'pavlovian' manner, opens up on its own at the mere 'scent' of a similar term. Your brain says, "no Mas." Then they can pour whatever BS they want right in. AND. The ambiguity leads to many interpretations of what they term means which injects confusion (leading to every evil work). The controllers allow the controlled to fight amongst themselves whic further distracts you from realizing THEIR agenda. The can even "turn on the lights" cause by this time they've got you.

That's from Matthew chapter 8 Read it for yourself. VPW used to say that. The read it for yourself part, that is.

My children sing children's songs at school... Indoctrination?

You know? Yesterday I watched "The Road to the Super Bowl" on TV. (My beloved Steelers didn't make it. --> ) Jerome Bettis was awarded a big, black Chevy pickup truck for winning an award as this years' toughest player in the NFL. To end the presentation, he invited his teammates and a bunch of them, jumped into the back of the truck & they drove off.... 'fade to black.' Cattle. (?)

satori Can you read? I wrote, "We drove right off the left side of the road" under control "into what had been", last time we saw it, "open countryside" with no obstacles to hit. What caused the CRASH was that he did not see the ditch before he decided the safest way to deal with the trailer bouncing of track & turning the truck was to "go with the it" and do a controlled "ditch" to the left side of the road. If you were READING your analysis of the terms I used, "corrective action, fishtailing counter-steer... to correct the skid," just MIGHT indicate the writer's having some driving instruction beyond high school driver's ed. Which I DO. I'm NOT gonna tell you where I got it, you're "just gonna have to take it on faith brother." He was behind schedule on ONE evaluation, MINE, because he ASKED me if I minded if he took more time to HELP somone who needed him. Understand this. Kevin Smith, little borther to the evil cult leader at LEAD stopped after spending the appropriate amount of time on the evaluation before mine. He ASKED me if I minded if he go BACK and spend some additional time with one of my fellow Corps because he CARED enough to do so. I CARED ENOUGH ALSO to say, "Cool. I'm in no hurry." I was ENJOYING time ALONE in the wilderness with GOD. I didn't care if he "EVER" came back. When he did come back he again ASKED if we could do it tomorrow because we'd have plenty of time to TALK on the drive down the mountain. I said OK again because I REALLY didn't care when we did the eval. I wasn't concerned in the LEAST about it. I liked Kevin as a person, I looked foreward to the talk TOMORROW because I was enjoying MY time alone with GOD today. MY point here is SOME of you here exhibit behavior that suggests you have left the TWI cult and joined another cult. The problem, from MY pov is that you spout "THEY the eternally EVIL ones decieved ME, yet you willingly sign on the dotted line and support the new cult willingly with all of the same vim and vigor of the old. Here's an idea. Read the BIBLE. While you read your cult books I was searching the sciptures because in them I think I will find eternal LIFE. Life under control, ANY control is DEATH. This is why GOD gave us FREEDOM of will; because to be controlled by ANYTHING, Even God almighty Himself is DEATH, in part. Why do YOU think the DEVIL created cults? To control God's very elect is the ULTIMATE slap in God's face concerning His beloved sons of God. I WILL EXHAULT MY THRONE ABOVE THE STAR, GOD! Just how in the HELL do you think Lucifer does THAT? Please. Spare me the veiled insults. So I still have a ways to go before I "come unto an accurate knowledge of the truth," right? I am basically the same person now that I was before I ever encountered TWI. You have earned NO right nor reason to commend my life, as you have NO idea what I've done or lived since TWI. (Complementing out of turn is the FIRST and biggest step in cult indoctrination, "duncha know?") Quit it. Quitit, quitit. (another subtle reference soulmates!) Were you as well versed in your Bible (...all things that pertain unto life and Godliness...) you would KNOW there is ONLY one position on TWI, Leave them alone can also accomplished by "getting out" right? One cannot be OUT and In at the same time. I see a pattern here too. I'm not saying TWI wasn't a cult, or wasn't bad. BUT. Whenever someone says pretty much anything to the effect of "but there WAS some good w/TWI..." People like you jump out from the wood work and say, in whatever manner you feel may sway whome you're speaking to, "Oh no there wasn't." "No, not now, not EVER, never will be." My problem with THAT position is that you're JUDGING and encouraging others to JUDGE as well. It was God's WOrd that brought me through my time in TWI, not my personal savvy, and certainly not "craftyness." "Take no thought on what you will say because the Holy Spirit will give you the words..." is PRECISELY what was thinking when I knocked on the door of the trustee apartment. I firmly believe God worked in me to will and to do of HIS good pleasure and He reminded me that Don W. was at the campus. I decided to go see Don W. as a fellow laborer WITH God, He told me what to say. Deny it if you want. I was there. It was ME. Argue with that. and... I understand and agree that people should be warned admonished, etc. about involvement w/TWI. I agree that it should alos be analyzed. Observations should be made, personal responsibility SHOULD be assessed. However, DON'T judge. DON'T pull others into your cult of judgement. And lastly, DON'T use ME, or my STORY, to justify your position, assertions or JUDGEMENTS. " No man knows the things of a man save the spirit of the man that is in HIM."

Jim; Please do not ever use crafty to discribe me again. Crafty has a connotation I don't appreciate. I just went for HELP to sombody I knew had the power to do the right thing. The fact that Don W. knew me only supplied evidence that I was really being drummed out of the Corps unfairly.

Rascal & Vickles; This is definately too little too late, but: It's not possible to get possessed when you're born again, by accident or unawares. Even if it were, and /or you WERE possessed, JESUS said THEY were FAITHLESS and PERVERSE, for not casting the spirits out. No matter how you look at it those scenes you spoke of were pure, unadulterated BULL$@#% !!! If they thought you were so damn possessed why didn't they cast the spirit out??? Jerks.

I have never, no not once; NEVER, not even for an instant even through my own guilt, pain or nightmares. NO not even once have I EVER blamed Kevin Smith for the crash that day. It was an ACCIDENT. Kevin Smith did NOT crash that truck. He/we were NOT being reckless. The wreck happened AFTER he put the paper down. He wasn't distracted by the paper or not driving with his eyes not on the road. His driving was no more distracted by holding that paper than it is by anyone drinking a cup of coffee while driving. It was windy, gusty. There wasn't a steady wind. it was unpredictable. We had now way of knowing IF another gust would follow and if so, WHEN. The road was narrow with a high shoulder. Of course in hindsight he should have been MORE careful. He was being careful not to drive much over 50mph which is pretty darn SLOW You can't steer that drastically pulling a trailer and it inched close to the side of the road. When the front wheel hit the edge of the road, he did everything RIGHT. He didn't fight what was going on, he CARFEFULLY pulled the truck gently to the right & let it stabilize before he pulled it back onto the road. There was no traffic for miles up the road so he pulled into the middle of the road. The trailer bounced wildly and he did the right moves to correct the fishtailing. Hitting the brakes hard would have been the WRONG thing as the trailer was not tracking with the truck. Had the ravine not been there we would NOT have crashed at all when we went off the road to the left. It would have been a few intense, bouncy seconds. I wasn't busy driving and I didn't see the ravine either until the last second when it was impossible to avoid. The crash just wasn't his fault. He wasn't pressured by the evil policies of the evil trustees to do the evaluations. Mine was late because Kevin took extra time with some folks who needed his time to HELP them. I just wanted to go on record and say, for whatever the word of the guy who watched Kevin do everything possible to SAVE lives that day. Kevin. It was absolutely NOT your fault.

I have never, no not once; NEVER, not even for an instant even through my own guilt, pain or nightmares. NO not even once have I EVER blamed Kevin Smith for the crash that day. It was an ACCIDENT. Kevin Smith did NOT crash that truck. He/we were NOT being reckless. The wreck happened AFTER he put the paper down. He wasn't distracted by the paper or not driving with his eyes not on the road. His driving was no more distracted by holding that paper than it is by anyone drinking a cup of coffee while driving. It was windy, gusty. There wasn't a steady wind. it was unpredictable. We had now way of knowing IF another gust would follow and if so, WHEN. The road was narrow with a high shoulder. Of course in hindsight he should have been MORE careful. He was being careful not to drive much over 50mph which is pretty darn SLOW You can't steer that drastically pulling a trailer and it inched close to the side of the road. When the front wheel hit the edge of the road, he did everything RIGHT. He didn't fight what was going on, he CARFEFULLY pulled the truck gently to the right & let it stabilize before he pulled it back onto the road. There was no traffic for miles up the road so he pulled into the middle of the road. The trailer bounced wildly and he did the right moves to correct the fishtailing. Hitting the brakes hard would have been the WRONG thing as the trailer was not tracking with the truck. Had the ravine not been there we would NOT have crashed at all when we went off the road to the left. It would have been a few intense, bouncy seconds. I wasn't busy driving and I didn't see the ravine either until the last second when it was impossible to avoid. The crash just wasn't his fault. He wasn't pressured by the evil policies of the evil trustees to do the evaluations. Mine was late because Kevin took extra time with some folks who needed his time to HELP them. I just wanted to go on record and say, for whatever the word of the guy who watched Kevin do everything possible to SAVE lives that day. Kevin. It was absolutely NOT your fault.

HEY! how do you post pictures like that??? Let me know OK?

Oh yeah Vickles; I forgot to answer your other question. I got to stay in the Corps because I cashed in a little equity from my apprentice year on Staff @ HQ. I knew Don Wierwille knew me personally and JAL was reading, at best, BS evaluations. Don actually "ordered" JAL to allow me to stay in residence.

Hi Ho TONTO!!! The classes brought in cash. Our injuries COST cash. They prayed for the classes... Didn't even tell people about us & our injuries. Things that make you go hmmmmm....

When they first showed me what a "good toilet rock" was I said, "Does it flush?" Walking away they said, "No." "It aint no toilet then....." Maybe that wound up in mY evaluation.

Ala. I think you wanted to rest too. I also think, propably held your pee as long as you possibly could 'cause you didn't want to PEE outside in the woods? Man I held it for days! Especially #2. A good rock just wasn't my idea of a bathroom. I prefer a bidet! I was like, if I say I have to go, I gotta GO!!!! Hmmm. hiking a long way up hill in the woods, carrying a back pack? I wouldn't ever want to rest. No peeing either. :)-->

You know Ala; If Craig had shown a lot of concern for who was hurt and how much et al. I would have written about that in my journal. I was pretty impressed by the fact that Craig himself had come to get us with Ambassador One and I surely would have written some wayspeak about "how wonderful it was that the President of the Way would have taken so much of his precious time to shower us with so much of God's abundant love for us. I didn't write that cause it just wasn't there. On the bus to the airport, I mentioned to him. "You did that on purpose, right?" He knew I was talking about distracting us when we drove by the crash site. He just said, "It was probably for the best." I was angry about that. I think your point is well taken that in that case to focus should have overtly been on the victims of the crash. As Dr. Phil puts it, the whole world should have stopped and al focus should have turned to making SURE we were OK. We were future leaders in God's ministry, is what they should have tough about according to their own retoric. We should have ALL who stopped everything and ALL went to visit each person who was in the hospital, and held some sort of prayer vigil right there. I should have been obvious that that accident was a spiritual attack on the entire ministry. IF they actually believed their own propaganda. BUT. History now tells us that Craig Martindale, at the time he sat across the table from me; the self appointed Man of God for the world saw me as a .... up. (excuse my language, emphasis supplied) Think about it. I was sitting there eating granola with both my hips and one shoulder dislocated. My spine was almost six inches shorter than it was the day before when I got out of bed. I had nerve damage, soft tissue damage, etc. and I didn't even know it. I was so concerned about the screaming and crying I heard that I hardly considered how much I couls have been hurt even though I knew I had broken the windshield with my head. He, who had stepped into the shoes of "The Teacher"... did he talk about great healings, battles, victories over the enemy of God's people in the Bible? He talked about how principle being lived made people impressed with our campuses. CRAIG, himself swept it under the rug. We, who were in the accident, weren't thinking about liability. Not that I knew of. But then again, "not knowing of" has become the legacy of LEAD 104. Back then people didn't sue as much as they do today. A few people told me I should sue to get enough money to be sure my medical was paid, at least, for the rest of my life. Actually, it was my las chiropractor, who p'shawed about the amount of $$$$$ the insurance settlement offered. He said I could have easily got much more. I had no idea that day sitting w/ Craig how badly I was hurt. I probably STILL haven't fully grasped how much that took out of my life. The real answer to your question Ala was right there in front of us all. I didn't fully grasp that until the other day when I was rereading the account of it from my journal to post it. He didn't even eat breakfast with us. We were having granola cereal and bananas with hot cider. He, after making sure he told us how his coming was "a special gesture from the Board of Trustees" rambled on about some stuff we really could give a rat's patootie about. How could we really care about the Kansas Board of Regent's when we had witnessed and been a part of our Corps FAMILY smashing into a WALL at about 45-50MPH! He left us eating granola to eat a breakfast "so big it could choke a horse." Dorothy Owens used to teach in Christian Ettiquette class... "What you DO speaks so loud I can't hear what you SAY."

You know Ala; If Craig had shown a lot of concern for who was hurt and how much et al. I would have written about that in my journal. I was pretty impressed by the fact that Craig himself had come to get us with Ambassador One and I surely would have written some wayspeak about "how wonderful it was that the President of the Way would have taken so much of his precious time to shower us with so much of God's abundant love for us. I didn't write that cause it just wasn't there. On the bus to the airport, I mentioned to him. "You did that on purpose, right?" He knew I was talking about distracting us when we drove by the crash site. He just said, "It was probably for the best." I was angry about that. I think your point is well taken that in that case to focus should have overtly been on the victims of the crash. As Dr. Phil puts it, the whole world should have stopped and al focus should have turned to making SURE we were OK. We were future leaders in God's ministry, is what they should have tough about according to their own retoric. We should have ALL who stopped everything and ALL went to visit each person who was in the hospital, and held some sort of prayer vigil right there. I should have been obvious that that accident was a spiritual attack on the entire ministry. IF they actually believed their own propaganda. BUT. History now tells us that Craig Martindale, at the time he sat across the table from me; the self appointed Man of God for the world saw me as a .... up. (excuse my language, emphasis supplied) Think about it. I was sitting there eating granola with both my hips and one shoulder dislocated. My spine was almost six inches shorter than it was the day before when I got out of bed. I had nerve damage, soft tissue damage, etc. and I didn't even know it. I was so concerned about the screaming and crying I heard that I hardly considered how much I couls have been hurt even though I knew I had broken the windshield with my head. He, who had stepped into the shoes of "The Teacher"... did he talk about great healings, battles, victories over the enemy of God's people in the Bible? He talked about how principle being lived made people impressed with our campuses. CRAIG, himself swept it under the rug. We, who were in the accident, weren't thinking about liability. Not that I knew of. But then again, "not knowing of" has become the legacy of LEAD 104. Back then people didn't sue as much as they do today. A few people told me I should sue to get enough money to be sure my medical was paid, at least, for the rest of my life. Actually, it was my las chiropractor, who p'shawed about the amount of $$$$$ the insurance settlement offered. He said I could have easily got much more. I had no idea that day sitting w/ Craig how badly I was hurt. I probably STILL haven't fully grasped how much that took out of my life. The real answer to your question Ala was right there in front of us all. I didn't fully grasp that until the other day when I was rereading the account of it from my journal to post it. He didn't even eat breakfast with us. We were having granola cereal and bananas with hot cider. He, after making sure he told us how his coming was "a special gesture from the Board of Trustees" rambled on about some stuff we really could give a rat's patootie about. How could we really care about the Kansas Board of Regent's when we had witnessed and been a part of our Corps FAMILY smashing into a WALL at about 45-50MPH! He left us eating granola to eat a breakfast "so big it could choke a horse." Dorothy Owens used to teach in Christian Ettiquette class... "What you DO speaks so loud I can't hear what you SAY."

As far as standing up, talking back. People did that a lot, especially after POP. People got "mad as hell, and we're not gonna take it anymore!" Of my personal pet peeves was the whole money thing. The "need based salary" was a thing of the past. We were long past the days when the ministry didn't have two nickles to rub together. I for one, was VERY thankful to EVERY SINGLE BELIEVER who ever came to visit HQ. I spent my Sunday afternoons on call to conduct tours of the grounds and was HAPPY to spend any WHOLE afternoon showing guests around the whole grounds, Way Cultural Center in New Bremen, I'd tour people till they said, "No MAS!" (another refernece ) Whe the IRS came after TWI and threatened to, then TOOK the tax exempt status, my thinking was... FINE. Let em have it! I'd say if I GOD can meet my needs, He'll meet the ministry needs too. The IRS can KISS us where the sun don't shine, as far as I'm concerned. Lots of folks felt that way too. WE don't work there anymore. WE were purged. WE were marked and told AVOID them. By comparison. I now attend and am very active in one of the largest, most active and progressive churches in the Dayton area. On an average weekend we bring in about $68,000.00 in tithes & offerings. How do I know that? I read the weekly church bulletin the ushers hand out to EVERY person (other than kids) who walks into the sanctuary for one of the FOUR services we do each weekend. It has an itemized section that tells us how much money was bugeted YTD for that week in categories; how much came in YTD for that week. EVERY person, even a visitor, stranger off the street who can read can see how much money we have, whether we are behind or ahead of budget. Our "leadership," the senior pastor and the church board, addressed a problem the ministry was having with a traffic jam of people coming to & from each service. Somebody figured it would be a good idea to widen the end of our driveway and add a turn lane. The called a special "members meeting" did a formal presentation and open mike discussion on the matter then we, the church members VOTED whether to do it or not. The vote was yes. The people who own the land adjacent to the church at the end of the driveway were selling. We voted to basically empty the church's reserve cash fund and write a check for $250,000. to buy the property. We also VOTED to start a building fund to pay for the plans and cost to redo the driveway. I can see how the fund is doing every week when I come to church. We ALSO have a yearly thing we do at the end of our fiscal year. We started it about 3 years ago and call it "Takin' it to the Streets." (Ye we use the Doobie Bros song...) "You, Oh you; keep telling me the things you're gonna do for me... Well I aint blind and I don't like what I think I see ... Takin' it to the streets...." are the lyrics. The board decided, since we had money left over at the end of our fiscal year (NON profit status, I might add) that we should take 20 THOUSAND DOOOLLARS and GIVE it AWAY. The first year the board members stood up at the front of the sanctuary and gave envelopes with $20.00 per adult, $10.00 per teen and $5.00 per child to anyone who went up there to get it. The only stipulations were: 1. Use it to DO something for somebody in the community. 2. Fill out the card in the envelope and let us know what you did so we can "share" the blessings with our church family. 3. Tell whomever you give it to them that this is a small blessing from God that our church wanted you to have. That first day we did that was one of the spiritually hottest days I've ever seen there. People really got jiggy with it. My family had $45.00. Some guy asked me on the street if I had a buck or two cause he was tryin to get to work. I said sure & gave him $40. The kids asked me if I they couls use their money to get the kids in the neighborhood some stuff from the icecream truck. Now I'm the coolest Dad on the block. This past year we switched up and gave $100 to each small group (our version of the twig). People were pooling their funds anyway we found out, sooo.... One small group I'm part of took out $100. and paid the $$$ to keep the girl next door to one of our members from having their utilities turned off. We threw in some extra and bought her a basket of some girly stuff. We also made sure we got her on the list to receive a "Thansgiving Basket" (last year we put together [from donations from out people] one THOUSAND 2 HUNDRED Thansgiving dinners, w/turkey & all the trimmings and fed 1200 FAMILIES who needed help). My Karate class is classified as an official small group, as part of our outreach ministries. We took our $100 and decided to do an appreciation dinner and Karate demonstration for the local firefighters and paramedics that serve in the area our church is located in. We held it in our gym and used our big industrial kitchen to cook it & some kitchen staff helped, etc. That only covers some of what we do from October to the end of November. Did I mention that our gym is open Friday evenings for anyone who wants to come shoot some hoop? AND what about how we use our gym as a home court for some local home schooled girls' volleyabll team? NO. they are not part of the "HOUSEHOLD" of our church. They are not all members of oour church. Heck, I met a guy & his daughter in the gym last night who doesn't even ATTEND our church. I think he said he was Russian Orthodox (whatever THAT is???). Oh yeah. We have to do our STS FOUR times each weekend (one Saturday, three times in a row on Sunday morning) because our sanctuary, which seats as many as your "Prevailing Word(?) Auditorium can't fit THREE TIMES IT'S SEATING CAPACITY. Catch my drift?

As far as standing up, talking back. People did that a lot, especially after POP. People got "mad as hell, and we're not gonna take it anymore!" Of my personal pet peeves was the whole money thing. The "need based salary" was a thing of the past. We were long past the days when the ministry didn't have two nickles to rub together. I for one, was VERY thankful to EVERY SINGLE BELIEVER who ever came to visit HQ. I spent my Sunday afternoons on call to conduct tours of the grounds and was HAPPY to spend any WHOLE afternoon showing guests around the whole grounds, Way Cultural Center in New Bremen, I'd tour people till they said, "No MAS!" (another refernece ) Whe the IRS came after TWI and threatened to, then TOOK the tax exempt status, my thinking was... FINE. Let em have it! I'd say if I GOD can meet my needs, He'll meet the ministry needs too. The IRS can KISS us where the sun don't shine, as far as I'm concerned. Lots of folks felt that way too. WE don't work there anymore. WE were purged. WE were marked and told AVOID them. By comparison. I now attend and am very active in one of the largest, most active and progressive churches in the Dayton area. On an average weekend we bring in about $68,000.00 in tithes & offerings. How do I know that? I read the weekly church bulletin the ushers hand out to EVERY person (other than kids) who walks into the sanctuary for one of the FOUR services we do each weekend. It has an itemized section that tells us how much money was bugeted YTD for that week in categories; how much came in YTD for that week. EVERY person, even a visitor, stranger off the street who can read can see how much money we have, whether we are behind or ahead of budget. Our "leadership," the senior pastor and the church board, addressed a problem the ministry was having with a traffic jam of people coming to & from each service. Somebody figured it would be a good idea to widen the end of our driveway and add a turn lane. The called a special "members meeting" did a formal presentation and open mike discussion on the matter then we, the church members VOTED whether to do it or not. The vote was yes. The people who own the land adjacent to the church at the end of the driveway were selling. We voted to basically empty the church's reserve cash fund and write a check for $250,000. to buy the property. We also VOTED to start a building fund to pay for the plans and cost to redo the driveway. I can see how the fund is doing every week when I come to church. We ALSO have a yearly thing we do at the end of our fiscal year. We started it about 3 years ago and call it "Takin' it to the Streets." (Ye we use the Doobie Bros song...) "You, Oh you; keep telling me the things you're gonna do for me... Well I aint blind and I don't like what I think I see ... Takin' it to the streets...." are the lyrics. The board decided, since we had money left over at the end of our fiscal year (NON profit status, I might add) that we should take 20 THOUSAND DOOOLLARS and GIVE it AWAY. The first year the board members stood up at the front of the sanctuary and gave envelopes with $20.00 per adult, $10.00 per teen and $5.00 per child to anyone who went up there to get it. The only stipulations were: 1. Use it to DO something for somebody in the community. 2. Fill out the card in the envelope and let us know what you did so we can "share" the blessings with our church family. 3. Tell whomever you give it to them that this is a small blessing from God that our church wanted you to have. That first day we did that was one of the spiritually hottest days I've ever seen there. People really got jiggy with it. My family had $45.00. Some guy asked me on the street if I had a buck or two cause he was tryin to get to work. I said sure & gave him $40. The kids asked me if I they couls use their money to get the kids in the neighborhood some stuff from the icecream truck. Now I'm the coolest Dad on the block. This past year we switched up and gave $100 to each small group (our version of the twig). People were pooling their funds anyway we found out, sooo.... One small group I'm part of took out $100. and paid the $$$ to keep the girl next door to one of our members from having their utilities turned off. We threw in some extra and bought her a basket of some girly stuff. We also made sure we got her on the list to receive a "Thansgiving Basket" (last year we put together [from donations from out people] one THOUSAND 2 HUNDRED Thansgiving dinners, w/turkey & all the trimmings and fed 1200 FAMILIES who needed help). My Karate class is classified as an official small group, as part of our outreach ministries. We took our $100 and decided to do an appreciation dinner and Karate demonstration for the local firefighters and paramedics that serve in the area our church is located in. We held it in our gym and used our big industrial kitchen to cook it & some kitchen staff helped, etc. That only covers some of what we do from October to the end of November. Did I mention that our gym is open Friday evenings for anyone who wants to come shoot some hoop? AND what about how we use our gym as a home court for some local home schooled girls' volleyabll team? NO. they are not part of the "HOUSEHOLD" of our church. They are not all members of oour church. Heck, I met a guy & his daughter in the gym last night who doesn't even ATTEND our church. I think he said he was Russian Orthodox (whatever THAT is???). Oh yeah. We have to do our STS FOUR times each weekend (one Saturday, three times in a row on Sunday morning) because our sanctuary, which seats as many as your "Prevailing Word(?) Auditorium can't fit THREE TIMES IT'S SEATING CAPACITY. Catch my drift?