WordWolf

"Wish You Were Here." (Pink Floyd.)

"I'll have what she's having!"

Betelgeuse!

That's it. The best quotes from that movie all seem to be long quotes. Except possibly about the 2 yutes.

That's it. Colonel Flagg, who later claimed to have nothing to do with Intelligence. The Sam and Ralph references were when he and ANOTHER government spook wasted an episode trailing each other around the camp, looking for SOMETHING worth investigating. At the end, they walked off together. "Buy you a cup of coffee, Sam?" "Sure thing, Ralph."

In fairness, twi is a shadow of what it used to be, and almost 100% of everyone who was ever involved in twi is now out one way or another. So, not so many people still need help as was the case 20 years ago. That there are still people who need help is the reason this place is still around.

They may have a few betamax machines. Most were supposed to be bought locally. All expenses were paid for out-of-pocket by everyone on the field. All vcrs were bought and maintained locally. All classes were held in places rented by, or owned by, locals. So, locals everywhere were SOL when the decision to go betamax yielded the result of a dead-end system that nobody else used. That decision was made by someone who had a 50/50 chance of making the right decision, and supposedly heard from God Almighty before making any decisions, or, indeed, opening his mouth.

"Is that a drip I hear?" "Yeah." "Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?" "So?" "Well, did you use the faucet?" "Yeah." "Why didn't you turn it off?" "I did turn it off." "Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?" "Did it ever occur to you that it could be turned off and drip at the same time?" "No, because if you turned it off, it wouldn't drip." "Maybe it's broken." "Is that what you're sayin’? It's broken?" "Yeah, that's it; it's broken." "You sure?" "I'm positive." "Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough." "I twisted it just right." "How can you be so sure?" "If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10-16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage." "How can you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?" "Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers." "In that case, how can you be sure that's accurate?" "Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. Here's the certificate of validation." "Dead-on balls accurate"?" "It's an industry term." "I guess the f*in’ thing is broken." ================================ "No. They didn't have enough time." "Well, how much time was they in the store?" "Five minutes." "Five minutes? Are you sure? Did you look at your watch?" "No." "Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. You testified earlier that the boys went into the store, and you had just begun to make breakfast. You were just ready to eat, and you heard a gunshot. That's right. I'm sorry. So obviously, it takes you five minutes to make breakfast." "That's right." "So you knew that. Uh, do you remember what ya had?" "Eggs and grits." "Eggs and grits. I like grits too. How do you like your grits? You like 'em regular, creamy or al dente?" "Just regular, I guess." "Regular. Instant grits?" "No self-respectin’ Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits." "So, Mr. Tipton. How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits, when it takes the entire grit-eating world twenty minutes?" "I dunno. I'm a fast cook, I guess." "I'm sorry, I was all the way over here. I couldn't hear you. Did you just say you're a fast cook, that’s it!? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit... faster in your kitchen... than on any place on the face of the Earth!?" "I don't know." "Well, perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans!?"

"When I come home, baby, my house is dark and my pots are cold."

In this show, someone once claimed to be in the CIA. Actually, he was in the CID, but if he said that, people got confused and thought he was with the CIC, so he claimed to be in the CIA, and they accepted that. We also got a passing reference to Sam and Ralph, the sheepdog and coyote in Warner Brothers despite that being unrelated to this show.

Well, then, maybe.. it was right? Ok, my turn, let's see...

Naw, let's just keep this moving.

"Spill the Wine." (I keep thinking it's "Spill the wine and dig that pearl" rather than "take that pearl", which is a lot better than once thinking the line was "Do I take that girl?")

Apparently. I played the odds and wasn't that close.

"Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. See, Louis bet me that we couldn't both get rich and put y'all in the poor house at the same time. He didn't think we could do it. I won." "I lost. One dollar."

"Is that a drip I hear?" "Yeah." "Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?" "So?" "Well, did you use the faucet?" "Yeah." "Why didn't you turn it off?" "I did turn it off." "Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?" "Did it ever occur to you that it could be turned off and drip at the same time?" "No, because if you turned it off, it wouldn't drip." "Maybe it's broken." "Is that what you're sayin’? It's broken?" "Yeah, that's it; it's broken." "You sure?" "I'm positive." "Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough." "I twisted it just right." "How can you be so sure?" "If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10-16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage." "How can you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?" "Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers." "In that case, how can you be sure that's accurate?" "Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. Here's the certificate of validation." "Dead-on balls accurate"?" "It's an industry term." "I guess the f*in’ thing is broken."

As a separate post, I'm going to guess whoever he was, the smallest US President was about 5'6" and between 120-135 lbs.

I know Ulysses S. Grant wasn't that big a dude, but I know neither his height nor weight. (It's the reason he didn't have to drink much to get buzzed, which helped fuel rumors he was a boozer.)

Well, you knew I had a secret identity, at any rate.... That may have been the first time we joined up, but it wasn't the most interesting time, let me tell you....

The script sounds funnier than it looked from a distance.

"Dragnet???"

How about "ZOOLANDER?????"

Well, in the cinema, she was introduced in The Lego Movie "Superman v Batman".

"Blue Jay Way", the Beatles?????