CoolWaters

Colleen, You've got mail. :)-->

Edited because image removed from my files to make room for others.

Thank you {{{{{Dot}}}}}. I read my horoscope just a couple of minutes ago. Here's what it said: Hmmmm! ;)--> Maybe I'm not ready to "accept". Maybe this isn't about acceptance at all, but about the importance of letting parents who are still in twi know exactly what kind of organization they're in.

Oh mj, mj, mj...your need to be better than me is a grand effort. So you're better than me. Go for the gusto, girl.

mj I did edit my post. To be mad at you is not worth it anymore. You're not going to listen. You're not going to care about my daughter or any of the other children that were, are and may be exposed to this man. You're not going to do anything but find a way to be "above it all".

Nevermind. It's not worth it anymore. [This message was edited by CoolWaters on March 17, 2004 at 6:44.]

The senator did some checking and came back to us with the same story: our "track record" according to twi was one of "questionable character" and "chronic problems with poverty and instability due to their [our] refusal to settle down in one place and listen to sound doctrine." TWI had provided "records" dating clear back to 1976. This was in 1984/85. I still wouldn't budge. I told the DA's office that there was enough physical evidence and professional testimony that me or my daughter's character had better not become an issue or I'd go outside of Alaska to the press with the story of how Alaska was backing a cult and a pedophile. It never went to court. Squiggy plead guilty. He got 5 years in prison and 2 years in a treatment facility afterwards. How much time he actually did, we don't know...we left Alaska when we saw that we were going to go through the same thing again with twi. So it really gets me that there are people on this message board who think that I am lying or am bitter or am hateful against "good men". BS to the nth degree! If you read nothing else of this post, read this: TWI leadership from hq right on down protected pedophiles in Alaska. TWI protect the pedophiles in an attempt to woo a wealthy, influential family into their ranks. TWI provided information they had gathered about me and my family dating clear back to 1976 in an effort to protect their own leadership from any testimony me and my family might give in any future cases against their own leadership. If you're involved in twi, then you're being tracked, watched and a file is being kept on you. I hope like hell you don't have to find out the same way I found out...but since the pedophile branch/twig leader is still among you, my hope may not prove out. And if this seems like a "scare tactic", mj, tough. Sometimes fear is a great motivator to do right. Sometimes people should be afraid.

You know what gets me? People who are out and know about twi's "proven" BS think that was the only BS in twi...and everything else is just a bunch of lying, bitter and hateful people spouting off on a message board. Mo, please forgive me if this is too much for you, but I think people here at GS need to know just what it was like to be in twi in Anchorage. Now mind you all that the things I say about Alaska are from the viewpoint of when we were last there...nearly 17 years ago...and reflect things from my point of view from my experiences...not Mo's. If I am saying something here that is not reflective of Mo's viewpoint and experiences, I apologize. We were both lied to so much that it's hard to determine exactly what was the truth of things, much more trying to determine what either one of us were feeling and thinking. When I speak of "us" or "we" feeling or thinking something, remember that I am telling what I thought was the reality, not necessarily what Mo thought was the reality. We were pitted against one another by twi leadership...we have already discovered some things that we saw from completely opposite understandings. I'm sure with the telling of this, we will find more things in which we had opposite understandings. OK, here goes. This is long... First, Alaska is remote...it is geographically isolated from the rest of the country. Even in big cities like Anchorage, there is a sense from both Alaskans and non-Alaskans that Alaska is outside of what happens down here in the Lower 48. Get outside of the cities and towns, Alaska is not much more than what most folks would consider "wilderness". Which is a wonderful thing to those who like to live isolated lives. Many of the people who live outside of the cities and towns often do not see anybody besides their own immediate families and the occasional trapper stopping by to check on them for up to six months of every year. Heck, we lived on a dairy with good roads all the way, but just getting our daughter to and from school was an hour and a half ordeal...every morning and every evening. Those who lived in the bush often sent their children to boarding schools. It was just too difficult and too far to try to make daily trips to and from the school. People must trust one another in Alaska. That trust is often given simply because it is expected that people will live up to that trust...and people need people. Alaska thrives because the majority of people there are trustworthy. However, if that trust is ever broken, it's a harsh blow not only to one or two people, but to a whole community...and the price of breaking a trust in Alaska is harsh...so harsh, in fact, that people just do not expect anyone to go there and do that. Second, religion in Alaska is a mixture of Native American, Native Alaskan, Russian Orthodox, modern Christianity and, in places like Anchorage, there is a myriad of Eastern religions. It is not unusual to find that people practice a little of this and a little of that and sprinkle it all with their own introspections. I'll never forget when my husband was out in the bush and he didn't get back on time. My daughter and I were living with Mo and her family at the time. I was nearly hysterical with fear that my husband wasn't coming back. Mo taught me a Native Alaskan practice called, "His boots go walking". The practice calls to tie a pair of the man's boots together and hang them from the ceiling by the laces. As long as they swing, the man is still alive...his boots still go walking. But if they ever stop swinging, then it's time to worry. Mo did this for me. I was comforted until my husband did finally get home...nearly 2 days late. The religious beliefs in Alaska are most often about survival, not "pure" doctrine. These things said, it's no wonder that dropping an organization like twi into a state like Alaska was some bad hoodoo. TWI made use of these things...they sent their worst leadership to Alaska. Out of sight, out of mind. After all, who really cared what happened in Alaska? Who really believed anything that people in Alaska talked about? It was just some odd state where odd people lived odd lives. And the likelihood of anybody getting out to the Lower 48 very often was nil. Perfect place to hide mistakes. Perfect place to gain complete control. When my family was forced upon Mo's family, it was to control us. Mo was told that I was being put there to be watched. I was told that I was being put there to help Mo. Mo thought she was protecting and helping her brothers and sisters in christ. I thought that I was helping my sister in christ. You see, Mo wasn't ever one to shut up when she saw a problem. She didn't swallow twi BS very readily. Me? I was just plain "out in left field". In fact, I think twi told Mo that I was a witch. We didn't fit into twi very well. There was always some struggle over something. But twi leadership offered each of us the opportunity to "redeem" ourselves. Mo's job was to keep an eye on me and not let me hurt other believers. My job was to help Mo be a better twi wife. Neither one of us understood that twi leadership fully expected us to wear down one another and become anathema and, thus, twi could then be rid of us both. We didn't understand this because we didn't know the dirty little secret twi knew about one of our twig leaders...the same leader who ran the children's fellowship that our children attended. (Our twig leader was also the branch leader, btw.) We both knew this guy was out to lunch on many things. But we both cared for his wife...and figured his wife would be involved in most of the activities going on in his home. The last thing we expected was that he was a pedophile...and that his assistant was also a pedophile...and that between the two the children's fellowship was like a pedophile's mall: they were going shopping for the kids who they figured they could keep shut up for fear of displeasing God and their parents...and their leadership. Silent obedience from children in twi was enforced with a harsh whack from a wooden spoon...by everybody from your twig leader and his assistant down to your mother and father. If that did not silence the children, open mockery and ridicule in front of other children and other leadership was coupled with the whack from the wooden spoon. It was nothing for a couple of pedophiles to prey on children so silenced. And it was nothing to blame a bad home when the children's acting out behavior worsened. After all, twi leadership was doing everything possible to "help" these children out of their behavior...it had to be the fault of their bad mothers. So we continued the whacking, mockery and ridicule at home. Something was wrong with our kids and we had to get them under control. According to twi leadership. When all else failed, twi leadership blamed our children's heritage. Mo's children are of Native Alaskan heritage. My daughter is of Iranian heritage. Both heritages twi considered to be "dark"..."devil spirit influenced DNA" was exactly what I was told about my daughter by the pedophile twig leader. I know for me this was the point I began to suspect the sonuvabiatch. I began to look around at the people involved in twi in Alaska. Aside from Mo's family, there were no Native Alaskans involved. It became apparent to me that her family was allowed to be involved in twi only because her whiteness redeemed them in twi's eyes. My eyes began to open even more. Things began to add up. The children's night terrors: these children were so traumatized that they saw "red eyes" in their closet when the lights were off. The children's dread of going to any fellowship, but especially children's fellowship: they so dreaded going that they would do whatever they could to sabotage our efforts to get to twig or to get them to children's fellowship...including being sick all of the time. The cruelty towards the youngest one...Mo's daughter: Mo's husband had nicknamed her "ugly bugly"...and the pedophile twig leader always singled her out for "punishment". The "concern" the pedophile twig leader had about the sexual orientation of the other children (Mo's son, stepson and my daughter are all the same age...within months of each other): he alluded to the possibility that these children were already sexually active...with one another. The hatred of my husband: the pedophile twig leader knew my husband was suspicious of him...so he banned my husband from twig for "putting doubt about God's ministers" in my mind. (My husband would, at my vehement insistence, take me and my daughter to twig and sit out in our car the whole time...which was sometimes 2.5 hours. I had to get blessed afterwards, doncha know. Believe me, I am still ashamed of what kind of wife and mother I was.) The "prophecy" made by the pedophile twig leader about me: he "prophesied" that if I didn't leave my husband I'd be dead in 6 months. Then it dawned on me that we were sent to live with Mo and her family while we were in the middle of attempting to prosecute a "babe in the word" after he had molested my daughter. Mo's husband was supposed to be the expert on getting through the system. Our twig leader (the pedophile) assured us that Mo's husband would make sure that the system didn't screw us. After all, believers were always being screwed by man's system. These things began to add up to the truth: our children were being sexually, physically, mentally and spiritually abused on a regular basis by the twig leader and lord knows who else...and twi had every intention of covering it up if we found out and said anything. Sending me and my daughter to live with Mo and her family was the cover: my daughter had already been "tainted", so acting out behavior in Mo's children was due to my daughter's "taint". I was "dark" and had a "long history of dividing the household". Since "the whole household" had been tainted by me and my daughter, nobody would believe a damned thing we said. We could expose the pedophiles all we wanted, but nobody would believe us. And that's exactly what happened, too. Don't think for one minute that higher up twi leadership was not fully aware of what was happening in Alaska. There's something that I doubt even Mo realizes about this whole situation. I've never spoken about this before because I have no physical proof. What proof I had was either stolen by twi leadership or buried in an Alaska State Senator's files...if not destroyed. The "babe in the word" (aka Squiggy) who molested my daughter was from a wealthy, influential and well-respected family. Squiggy ran a daycare for "christian" families...with blessings and high recommendations from several ministers...including twi ministers. He had been up on charges several times before, but in each case the children were too young to give reliable testimony and the parents were bought off (by Squiggy's parents) and left Alaska. In each case, the children were from poor families. Squiggy's defense was always, "They let me have their children in trade for babysitting." This worked because there had been a daycare center in Anchorage that indeed worked like that: parents were aware of the sexual abuse but had agreed to keep silent in exchange for food, housing and daycare. The case involving my daughter also involved 9 other children from Squiggy's daycare. My daughter was 7yo...the other children were 5 and under...down to 18 months old. Squiggy's family got to the other parents. One by one they dropped out of sight. We would find out that they had left state. The testimony they had given was confused and garbled...they were simply too young to be reliable witnesses. The charges against Squiggy for what he did to them had to be dropped. It came down to the 5yo and my daughter. The testimony by the 5yo was easily dismissed: she believed in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. This, according to Squiggy's defense attorney, was proof that she did not know fantasy from reality. The mother was shamed and ridiculed in the newspaper to the point that she took the offer to be "helped" by Squiggy's parents to leave state. My daughter's testimony, however, was sound. Her dad's favorite saying around christmastime was "Santa Claus is a fake, a phony and a fraud." We were good twigites...there was no Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny or Santa Claus in our home! There was actual physical evidence in my daughter's case, too. Because I had grown up sexually abused, I had taught my daughter from nearly birth that her body is her own and that NOBODY had the right to touch her private parts or kiss her of fondle her. I also taught her how to fight back and to tell immediately. I promised her I would always believe her. These things led to my daughter telling immediately. We were at the police station within 10 minutes of picking up my daughter from daycare. There was plenty of physical evidence...and Squiggy was picked up within 30 minutes of us going to the police. According to the police, he was laying on the bed with a grin on his face when he was picked up. When my daughter testified before an 18 member grand jury, she was grilled by Squiggy's defense and members of the grand jury about her parents telling her to let Squiggy have his way so they could pay him for daycare. I was not allowed into the courtroom because it was assumed that my presence would influence the honesty of her testimony. Every grand juror that came out of the courtroom after she testified told me that they had never before experienced a child so clear-headed as my daughter. They unanimously indicted Squiggy. Now here's the bugger... The DA's office contacted me to please rescind my daughter's testimony because Squiggy was being raped in jail and faced worse in prison. Squiggy's family had contacted the DA's office and had pleaded for the charges to be dropped if they agreed to put Squiggy into a treatment program. Since he had already been indicted, there was no dropping the charges unless the testimony was rescinded. Well, the DA's office did some digging into our history and discovered twi. So they contacted hq. According to the DA's office, they had enough information about my "track record" to dismantle my daughter's testimony and show both her and I to be "quite unstable". In fact, the DA's office was so sure that my daughter and I would be barbequed on the witness stand because twi leadership had provided statements about our impoverished situation and our daughter's lies and other "disturbing behavior" our branch/twig (yeah...the pedophile) leader had witnessed and had tried to "help" our family with "ministerial counseling". I was IRATE!!!!!!! I contacted an Alaska State Senator's office. See next post.

Yeah...just like twi offshoots and ex-twi people who believe twi's biggest mistake was kicking them out... Sigh.

Nobody else thought that twi would purposefully keep a child molester in their leadership ranks, either...until it was our children...

So, the pedophile fellowship/children's fellowship coordinator that is still in twi is one of the good guys? Those of you currently in twi, watch your children closely.

Thought this post (the whole thread, really) was worth seeing again. I agree with vickles...the whole thing was a fantasy in our minds. My grandmother used to tell me, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." The bible talks about the blind leading the blind into a ditch. This is what twi was and is.

Bumping up.

Bumping up.

rascal, Me either. Not long ago I could. Now I look back and see that there was no real loving kindness in twi. It just was not allowed. I mean, seriously, look at things even now from the perspective of those who have been out for years...we're still having to argue whether or not rape and beatings were "really abuse". What in the he11 did people think about such things when they were in?

LOL johniam! In fact, the factory reps quit showing up. Anymore I gotta make it up as I go...and hope I'm scary enough!

Once I got over the belief system that teaches "possession" as a possibility, I got over the need to live up to any standards by which "possession" is measured. In fact, to be labelled "possessed" now is quite a compliment! It means that in no way, shape or form do I any longer fit into the insanity that actually believes in some sort of phantasmic fairy tale designed to control the weak of mind. Yay!

So...is it safe to say that those of us who dance nakee under the full moon may simply be enjoying ourselves? That we have no real basis for considering the night of a full moon a more magically powerful night than others? Kewl! I hope people remember this if they're ever inclined to participate in a human b-b-que. ;)--> :P-->

Lawdy, lawdy Ms McCordy! I've been trying to stop rehashing my twi experience...so I avoided this thread...and now I wish I hadn't. This is a statement that has often helped me see the path out of twi-think. (Gingie has tolerated my long phone calls so many times! to you my dear, sweet, funny, clear-headed friend!) Why would being labeled "possessed" bother one unless one gave authority to the words, opinions and/or beliefs of one's labeler? See?

Mo, I was "too far gone" to be allowed to clean! LMAO!!!! I always knew there'd be a silver lining to that cloud! LMAO!!!!!!

I'm embarrassed to say that until very recently I thought pfal was probably the best self-help class available. It took getting to know a certain pfal pusher around here for me to finally understand that pfal as presented was a mind f*****. I qualify that because much of what was in pfal was old news when vpw got ahold of the materials he used to come up with his program. If I had been more widely read, more educated in world religions and scams, I would have recognized the "battle is in the mind" stuff as old history. The f***** came in when vpw presented it as a form of christianity.

"Want to bless me?" That was the biggest scam question ever, imo. ************** Grad: Want to bless me? Babe: Sure! Grad: Be the 7th person to sign up for the class so that our twig can run one before ROA. ************** Twig Leader: Want to bless me? Lowly Twigite: Sure! Twig Leader: Sign up for the Intermediate class so that I can run one before the limb meeting. ******************* Way Home Coordinator: Want to bless me? Lowly Twigite: Sure! Way home coordinator: I don't have time for my chores, would you bless my life and do them for me? ************* Corps hopeful: Want to bless me? Lowly twigit: Sure! Corps hopeful: Commit to sponsor me for a year. ************ Corps Grad: Want to bless me? Lowly twigite: Sure! Corps Grad: Let me live with you rent free, mooch your food and smokes and trash your place. Then clean up after me, have enough food on stock to bless my friends and my twig, open your home to my twig for fellowships, and don't complain when we keep you up most of the night disputing the word. ************ Branch Leader and Twig Leader: Want to bless me? Lowly Twigite: Sure! Branch Leader and Twig Leader: Make sure your children show up to every Children's Fellowship...and don't tell when you find out it's a pedophile ring. *************

Witches, witchcraft, shaman, ghosts, bugaboos...BE AFRAID!!!!!!! Not really...I'm teasing. People often consider me a witch. It's been like this since I was an early teen...when I was involved in a coven and thought for sure I was a "born" witch (one who inherits from her ancestors). Of course, I had know way of really knowing such a thing...my birth mother died when I was 2yo and my adoptive family did not want me to know anything about her. Most of what I did in that coven was revenge type of stuff (we were all into that at the time...a bunch of hormonal teens, each with a home life that was lacking...go figure). I understood instinctually that 99% of what we were doing was fear trips...the other 1% was the people being afraid. Using fear was a real head rush for a powerless kid in a bad situation. I learned to stare intently at someone if they were going off on me. My parents hated that! They'd be hitting me and screaming at me...and I'd just stand there staring into their souls, sometimes quietly chanting, sometimes smiling. It freaked them out pretty badly...to the point that they finally quit hitting me and screaming at me. Hey! It worked! Anyway, part of the reason that I got involved with twi was because I had been told by the coven that "once a witch, always a witch". TWI promised me "power" to change these kinds of things "with the love of god in the renewed mind in manifestation". I was in twi for over 2 years before I would take the class. It had been paid for...I had started a couple or three times...but I couldn't understand how something that was nearly identical to what I had learned in the coven was supposed to be "godly". Years later I finally understood. Funny...all the while some twi-ers were pointing the "WITCH!" finger at me...well, they were doing what they could to discredit me because I was opening my big mouth about the child abuse. But I get the "WITCH!" finger pointed at me just about everywhere I go (anybody remember trancenet??? ). It used to bother me terribly...could send me into long depressions even. I do not consider myself a practitioner of witchcraft, however I do things that people associate with witchcraft...like... have an indoor herb garden... meditate to the point of trance... wear "witchy" clothing (like Dharma's mother)... shop at "witchy" herb stores... hang out at "witchy" coffee shops... see more than what's being shown... understand more than what's being alluded to... "read" the weather and other natural activities around me (like 2 years ago I noticed that the .... ants were too small and were only out for a couple of weeks, and there had been no june bugs...so I got my husband to help me store about 100 gallons of water)... make tinctures and oils... These things add up in many people's heads to "witchcraft". I have never understood why people don't see these things simply for what they are...which is simple living at its best. ?????????????

Bramble, welcome. I don't think that test knows what it's doing, though. Look what it tagged me: How evil are you? Sigh. LOL! ?????????????

rascal, I think he's dismissed everyone on this thread. אַאַאַאַאַאַאַאַאַאַאַאַאַ