Catcup

This public and private intensive "reproof" has a devilish design. It is all to get you to doubt your inner conscience and destroy your sense of self. It is designed to break you down internally so that they can build you into what they want you to be: a blindly allegient follower of der veg, who so questions his or her own mind, intuitions, and opinions that they look for approval from their leadership. Get out now. They are after your conscience to destroy it and to put in its place a facsimile of their own instructions.

a quote from Howard Allen: "No man is ever completely worthless. You can always use him as a bad example"

Carolyn was quite generous to those she wanted to be generous to. That included people who never took the Power For Abundant Living Class. She could be hilariously funny, knew how to throw a good party (could drink anybody under the table), and there are scores of people who will vouch for how well she treated them, and they can be believed. Carolyn treated certain people very well. She hosted La Leche League meetings in her home, invited doctors, nurses, and cbes out to the island for workshops and parties. Like many of us here, she hosted fellowships in her home, paid for phone hook-ups, gave parties for folks, was a great lover of the Christmas season and gave freely to those whom she loved. She also footed the bill for many births of Way Corps and Staff couples, and even travelled from campus to campus doing free ob/gyn care at her own expense, and often went out of her way to help some folks. She took pride in being "especially good to the household of faith." I did know Carolyn Rawlins to be a very generous person. I mentioned in her memorial thread that her generosity is legendary. Spending 7 years in Munster as her area and fellowship coordinator, I think I got to know her pretty well, and in balance, no matter how "good" she was to the "household" and to even "unbelievers," if you were in her eyes a "cop-out," you were indescribably vile in her sight, lower that the stuff you wipe off your shoe, and she made no bones about it. She was fiercely allegient to VPW and the Martindales, and had a vindictive streak toward anyone who crossed them. She may have loved, she may have given, but over a period of time, I saw it was not the unconditional love I believe God to be. It was at best, favoritism. And as I said on this thread, when I first met her she had all of my respect. It was hers to keep-- or to lose. She took the trust and respect I had freely given her, and tossed it into the gutter herself, when she chose to dehumanize and at least verbally abuse her patient, break her oath as a physician and allow her patient to come to physical harm in my own presence, and then try to blame the consequences of her decision on me. The incidents I related are not the only ones that I am aware of. They are simply ones I was a first hand witness to, and as such are my story to tell. The thing about human beings is, we are not all one thing or the other. We are made up of some good and some bad, and some of us are more of one thing than the other. And some of us start out one way, and turn another. When Carolyn died, I'm sure she put herself in Gods hands. And I trust He will weigh her actions justly, ans He will my own.

There is a nice thread with positive memories about Dr. Rawlins in the "In Memoriam" forum.

It really shook her up at the time. I don't know if it fits a legal definition of rape, that may be taking it a bit too far legally. But could it possibly be deemed an assault? That's a question for a legal expert, not me. But as far as the practice of medicine is concerned, she violated her oath as a physician when she violated that patient's dignity, humanity, and physical body. And when she asked her nurses to sit back with her and "watch this new procedure" for pushing out a baby, that was a crock of ..... I knew it, and she knew it. It was my field of expertise to know of any "new procedures" in that area, and had just returned from a workshop conducted by Penny Simkin, who happened to be the expert in the field. We focused on that stage of labor and there was no such "new" procedure. And as far as the effects on her patient, she was definitely shaken up over it, but too intimidated to say anything to Rawlins or take any other action.

It was her own choice. She was taught better. She knew better. She simply chose NOT to do what was in the best interest of her patient, and in my own opinion, for what that is worth, broke her oath as a physician. Nobody had to make Carolyn the bad guy. When I met her, I had all the respect in the world for her. She lost that respect all on her own, with no help from me or anyone else, by intentionally harming her patient. I chose those words carefully. As a Fellow of Psychosomatic Medicine, the study of how the mind influences the body, Carolyn knew exactly what those words would do to her patient. And she chose to say them anyway. And she chose to deliberately allow this woman to birth the head of the baby without supporting the perineum, knowing, KNOWING, that with no support, those tissues were very likely to tear in an uncontrolled fashion. That is reprehensible, and unexcusable. And then to blame it on someone else, is, Well, let's say She and VP were two of a kind. That's why they liked each other so much and got along so well together.

So you can't go beyond what you are taught. Perhaps it is a suggestion. Maybe puts the thought in your mind that maybe sometimes you shouldn't? Sort of gives you a limitation, doesn't it? Or limits God? Implies you just have to have a teacher, now, doesn't it. Just write the teacher... Tell ya what... I think Old Abe Lincoln went farther without teaching than anybody I know of. He was just one of the great self-taught men in American history. People, we just gotta stop thinking inside that TWI-box...

I'm pretty sure the very first thing Carolyin was taught at Indiana University medical school was the oath every physician takes: "First, do no harm." She was taught that first and foremost as a physician, it is her responsibility, and she TOOK AN OATH to DO NO HARM. She was also taught that as a physician, she must set aside her own personal likes and dislikes and personal opinions in order to act in the best interest of her patient. She went as far as she was taught, and turned her back on what she was taught, in favor of ERROR she was taught by a man who took no oath to do no harm. She was taught better, She knew better, She chose to turn her back on what she was taught, And she chose to knowingly do harm

More about the labor in the aforementioned incident: During the crowning, when the physician should be at the foot of the bed helping literally to support the tissues as the baby's head emerges, Rawlins stepped back, sat down in a visitor's chair with a couple of nurses and said "Let's watch this new procedure for crowning" leaving me as the only support for this woman until the head was fully out. A doula is not supposed to actually birth the baby-- that is the job of the midwife or the physician. It is not something I am trained to do or within my legal description and responsibility to even attempt. And as such, my insurance forbade it As a result, as the baby's head emerged, despite my efforts to help her control the crowning with breathing, this woman got a nice second to third degree tear in the perineum due to the fact that no one was helping support the perineum and surrounding tissues as the head emerged. Then Carolyn had the gall to take me aside afterward and blame me for the tear. That was her decision, and her responsibility alone, both medically and legally. As far as lawsuits, I couldn't tell you. But I can tell you this: Every year when it was time to renew her malpractice insurance, she would sit down and consider whether she wanted to retire or continue practicing. But of course, malpractice for ANY obgyn is astronomical.

Nobody had to make her mean and nasty, she did a good enough job all on her own. This was not the only incident-- she was also mean and nasty to me. I had gone to see her for gyn care right after I first moved to Munster in 1989. During the exam she asked me what I thought of Craig's loyalty letter. When she did not like my response, she got up from her chair, looked at one of her nurses and said, "Give her the bum's rush!" and stormed out of the room. In seconds, I found myself on the sidewalk wondering what the hell happened.

You might add that the offender is up to her wrist in your most private of sexual parts. I will leave it up to you to imagine what that comment could do to a person who may have been sexually molested at least once in her life. It wasn't just her trust that was violated.

Hmm, yes. Noticed the exclamation point after a certain sentence about having "changed her life!" Not usually seen in obits, no? Syruppy, yes. Not willing to speak ill of the dead in her obit thread, I posted the positive side of life with doctor. The truth be told, the dark underside of "The Household of The Way" so brightly mentioned in her obit began to turn Carolyn's giving side to a dark razor sharp edge against anyone "not" kosher mit der veg. I worked as a childbirth educator and a doula for women who were a part of Rawlins' practice. One lady in particular had been a part of TWI but had left it, and was now pregnant. I was her doula and cbe. When she went into labor, during a vaginal exam, Rawlins was particularly unnecessarily rough with this woman physically. And when her patient cried out in pain, Rawlins' statement to her was "Remember, I only have to be particularly good to the household." Yes she did. Kid you not. Unethical, and physically and emotionally abusive. Not what you would expect from a physician who is supposed to set personal issues aside, or from a fellow of Psychosomatic Medicine, who truly knew exactly what she was doing emotionally to a woman who at the time was in the most physically and emotionally vulnerable position of her life. That was inexcusable. She by her own unethical, cruel, and inhumane actions lost every bit of my respect for her at that point.

The preceeding post was brought to you by CATCUP. See, Oldies, I cited my own source!!!!!

Hey bagpipes Love your structure. Actually looks like an intact lidded urn!

Again, there are more than those two alternatives.

But if you are going to throw around your credentials and expect everyone to address you as "Doctor" you had damn well better have earned the title. You get that title only through a rigorous process that proves your knowlege of the field, by proved and titled faculty from an accredited institution, and without plagiary. Victor never did that. Wierwille bypassed the most rigorous examination of his ideas by using what has been described as a diploma mill, if not a highly unusual means of obtaining his degree. And if you will continue a close examination of Victor's works, you will find that he copied wholesale, he did not just tweak a word here and there. That kind of plagiarism would get you thrown out of ANY major academic institution. For the above reasons, education was NEVER important on VPW's agenda. He took the easiest route, but demanded the highest respect he did not legitimately earn. And in that light, he promoted those ideas within TWI. Because VPW discredited education, many people within TWI do as well. So this does not surprise me. I just pray that as you ease yourself out of TWI and more closely examine what was taught, you will see the value of a REAL education. It IS possible to have both a heart for God AND an advanced degree-- I know plenty who do. Having both are are NOT mutually exclusive, and actually help you minster to Gods people-- and avoid pitfalls like falling for the huckster VPW was.

Before Dan became involved with TWI he was NOT a scholar of any kind. He told me he dropped out of high school and faked his way into the Carolina University that accepted him, AFTER he was in TWI. I met him in South Carolina right after he was accepted (this would be 1973 or 1974) and he told me he wanted to go to school to study Greek. So from that point he began legitimate studies in his field. It was years later at the University of Chicago when we were roommates, where he studied the languages of Greek, Syriac, and Arabic, that the seeds of true scholarship were planted. It had NOTHING to do with TWI. It was at the U of C that we learned what real scholarship and research involved. It was when we tried to apply THOSE principles of research and academic excellence insisde TWI that all of us became unwelcome at TWI. Dan was a scholar at that time, yes. Voobus recognized his potential and took him under his wing to personally mentor, and this continued until the end of the professor's life. Voobus was actually looking for someone to replace himself, and in Dan, saw that person. He even accompanied Dan to TWCE at one point to address The Way Corps. Dan was (and we all were) foolish enough to believe that TWI was on the verge of really becoming a legitimate player in real biblical studies. However, it was not to be. VPW just wanted him there for show, and to make an impression on Voobus. For VPW it was a self-serving act. There is no possible way to become an "eminent scholar" while still IN TWI, because to be eminent is to be recognized publicly for your work in a very positive way by those who are already expert in the field, and to do so, you must have academic freedom. TWI was never a legitimate expert in any field, and has never been known for its academic freedom. However, Dan's work was already becoming known through his work with Voobus. Dan's work was recognized publicly by TWI, but not in a positive way. He was given a public bum's rush by TWI when he tried to pursue true research. It was not until AFTER HE LEFT TWI that he was free to be able to continue his work on a large scale that he began in Chicago, and then walk in the academic steps of Dr. Voobus. He is the man to fill those shoes now, and he has earned it by hard, legitimate work.

As far as biblical scholars go, I think Dan is my man. McConaughy, that is. He has my immense respect for staying true to what research is all about. He sat at the feet of the greatest Syriac scholar in the world, Dr. Arthur Voobus. He not only learned from him, but traveled with him and they were good friends. And when TWCE would not allow him to actually do biblical research and fired him, he was a man and walked. And he has continued pursuing standards of academic excellence. His wife is a great woman as well, and I miss our little outings to The Museum of Science and Industry with our girls. Jenny speaks of Jessica often, and that museum remains her favorite.

So you are saying that apprehension about blindly following leadership was a fear we all should have overcome? I think it was a good way to override your own common sense.

I also appreciate Sunesis' well-composed synopsis above. It's a pretty accurate description of what happened. However, OM you miss this point: TWI ended up being the counterfeit of the real movement, a blind alley that siphoned off God's people from a real move of God into a dead end. While the other two movements continued, TWI went on its own tangent, sputtered, and ran out of gas (true spiritual energy) as VP choked it off.

When door to door came out in 1974, it was NOT essentially a WOW activity. It was initiated I believe to the Way Corps initially, and then mandated to the entire ministry around October 1974. In the state of Indiana, we had to get out a map of our city, section it off, and set a goal of knocking on every door within a year's time. It was somebody's idea of systematically getting der Vord ober der Velt. Every TC in Indiana had to have a plan, and see to it that every person in the fellowship went along. Was the first time I had deep dread about obeying my leadership, but I was apprentice Corps, and what the hell, we were supposed to get over our fear, right? bunchacrap

The dedication of the WOW Auditorium in 1985 stands out in my mind. It was my first time back there since I resigned from staff in protest after confronting Donna, Auntie Em, and Bastage Winegarner. I was standing in the lobby of the auditorium, and when I looked up, Don W. was staring down at me like I was a piece of $h!t on his silver platter, like, how the hell did I get through security. I was invited, but unwelcome. I will never forget it. Welcome to The Way, to the building your hard-earned cash helped pay for. Now what the hell do you think you are doing here? That kind of treatment was the most common "ritual" at The Way.

I nominate justloafing.

Again from Einstein: "You can't fix a problem with the same level of thinking that created it." Yeah, they're out to save the mean-is-try... --With the same weapons they used to gutstrip the previous generation. They will simply use the same old excuses to desensitize and anesthetize the consciences of the next one, and history will repeat itself.